15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Jayce

This is why falling in love was dumb and something to be avoided at all costs. I'd done a great job throughout most of my life not forming connections with people. Corey was the one I was closest to, and that had always been friendship.

But even that had taken a long time to form. It had started out as us just getting in trouble together, but then we formed that unbreakable bond of friendship. He was the only one I trusted.

That was until I met Aydan, who somehow managed to capture my heart despite the fact that we had nothing in common. Nothing except our love of what we did in the bedroom. That wasn't true. We both loved Corey and cared about this den. Mostly, though, we were complete opposites.

Still, I hadn't expected his rejection to cut so deeply. I'd expected the rejection. After all, this was just fun and games. It wasn't serious. He had an arrangement in the works. There were no lies or pretenses. He told me right from the very first kiss.

We weren't mates, or at least we hadn't thought we were. I knew the truth now, or at least I suspected it. Between the scents of the tea and coffee filling the air and the wind in the wrong direction, I hadn't been able to fully scent him. Sure, I could've leaned in and taken a big old whiff, but then everyone would know what I was up to and that spelled trouble, or at the very least, embarrassment.

I was sure, though. If I was honest with myself, I knew from the first day. But he didn't know, or if he did, he didn't care. That would be so much worse. Why was this so freaking hard? It was supposed to be find your true mate, kiss, and then live happily ever after.

Did we do that? Heck no. We met, fought, had some naughty fun… had more naughty fun… and then some more, then I got pregnant, discovered he was my mate, and had been rejected. Where was my happy ever after? I wanted it so badly. Or at least a not-miserable-on-the-verge-of-crying after. Was that a thing?

I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. I wasn't going to cry over this alpha, and I wasn't going to apologize for my past. Yes, I had gotten into trouble, but I never hurt anyone, and I was not ashamed of the silly things that I did. I was a good person, and I wasn't going to let Aydan make me question that. And looking back, he hadn't. Sure, he teased me, especially in the beginning. But after that, he'd listened without judgment.

That or I was reading too much into him being polite. That's probably what it was, and even if it wasn't, that didn't change a single thing. At the end of it all, he still didn't want me as his.

I grabbed my bag and started placing my clothes inside. I knew there was a hotel not far away. I could stay there until I found a more permanent place inside the den. Or maybe outside of it.

No, inside. I wasn't going to keep our baby from his alpha father. They both deserved better than that. Gods, it was going to hurt—more than hurt. To see Aydan every day and know he was mine but he never could be. But it wasn't only me to consider now. And I'd do anything to make sure our child had the life they deserved. They had nothing to do with the crap brewing between Aydan and me.

I hated that I hadn't told him about our child yet. The first day, I'd justified it by not wanting to embarrass him in front of the healer. Then when I woke up and scented him, I froze. Now? Now there was no excuse except I was a scaredy cat. I'd tell him though and soon.

Today was not that day, though. I wasn't in a place to have the conversation we needed to have. Telling him now would lead to a fight and bad feelings. I needed to pull myself together first.

I wouldn't keep it from him, but I also would not let him use that as a way to manipulate me. No. I needed to stand on my own two feet first.

Shit. How did I make Aydan in my brain go from the nice guy he was to manipulative asshole in 2.3 seconds? It had to be pregnancy hormones, right? That or it was my fears festering in my head.

The door slammed, and I jumped. He was home. So much for getting out of here and figuring out my shit so we could talk.

"Jayce, are you in here?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. I really didn't want to face him just yet. I wasn't in a good place for it. But I wasn't going to hide. If I was man enough to be a father, I was man enough to face reality. Right?

"I'm in here."

A moment later, Aydan was in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" His eyes were glued to my bag.

"Packing."

"Don't leave." It wasn't a full-on Alpha demand, and it confused me. Was he asking? Telling? A mix of both? I didn't know.

"I'm not leaving for good," I said. "You're not getting rid of me that easy, but perhaps distance would be a good idea."

I forced myself to face him, despite the fear of what he might say or the hurt of his rejection. He needed to know what his words had done to me.

"You hurt my feelings today, Aydan. We might be different people with different ways of doing things, but I'm not a bad person. I've never hurt anybody. I've always made sure your brother was taken care of, even when we were getting into trouble. You embarrassed me in front of a lot of people. Even if we didn't have—" I waved my hand toward the bed. "Whatever it is we have, that's not how you should treat a den member."

"I know, and I'm sorry." He rubbed a hand through his hair. "This is not easy for me, Jayce. I tried to make up for it."

And fair enough, he did. He brought coffee for everyone and held back when I knew he probably had a lot to say. That didn't negate his initial comments, though.

"I know." I let out a long breath as I gathered my thoughts. "That's why it's best if we just stop what we're doing. The fling was fun, but it's muddying the waters. I know you could never be with someone like me. You're definitely going to be better off with—" I wrinkled my nose. "Finnegan. He'll make a good Alpha Mate."

I didn't believe my words, not the ones about Finnegan. That man deserved his chance with Patrick. But out they came anyway.

"Jayce. No, I—"

"It's all right." I stood tall. Fate didn't always have it right. I knew enough about Aydan's parents to know that fated mates weren't always the best for each other. "I'm not mad about that." Disappointed, heartbroken, and lost, sure. But not mad.

"Don't go." Aydan stepped forward, his voice cracking slightly.

I tried to retreat, but there was nowhere for me to go. Then he was crowding my space, his gaze roving over my face as if looking for a reason to run away. I couldn't muster up any sort of indication that I wanted to push him away.

"The skunk scent is almost gone." I'd noticed it too, and it was weird because that scent had been part of me for long enough it was like I'd forgotten a shirt or pants or something.

"I know." Were we going to have pleasantries? Because this was not the time for that. At least not as far as I was concerned.

"I told Finnegan that there's no way he and I could be together."

Did he just say that… no, he couldn't have… could he?

"I'm much too attached to someone else." He reached up and cupped my cheek, and gods help me, I leaned into it without thinking, my bear pushing me to accept the affection he was giving. Unlike me, my beast didn't care if it was too little or too late. He wanted all the scraps we could get.

"Aydan—" If he kept touching me like this, I was going to forget my resolve. We were going to end up back in my bed and what would that accomplish? Not a fucking thing other than making it hurt worse.

He pressed his lips to mine, then stilled. He sucked in a breath and took a step back.

"Jayce. Mate." His nostrils flared.

I pushed him out of the way and ran. I needed space and air and to process what exactly had just happened.