Chapter Nine

Farren

"Y eah, I don't really do friends, but Hades is more than that anyway. He's my brother. We've been through things that you probably couldn't even comprehend, wars and torture," he pauses, a dark expression crossing his features, "I don't think I will ever forgive myself for not seeing the Princes plan when I had the chance. I could've stopped it all. He went through hell."

I almost say I know, but I don't know, not really. I mean, even if Grey is Hades, he went through shit before he ended up in a cell opposite mine, and I don't know anything about that. I do know that what he went through when he was near me was hell. Worse than hell.

"If you are as close with him as you've said, then he's going to forgive you," I reply, trying to make him feel better.

H smiles, "He probably doesn't even realise that he needs to forgive me."

"Well, there you go."

"I should've been there," he mutters.

Strangely enough, I get a ping of intuition, "They probably planned to have you out of the way; they most likely knew that they wouldn't be able to trap Hades with you around, and that's why they did it when you were in another realm."

He stays silent and doesn't reply, but I think that he's at least heard my words because he doesn't immediately refute them. When it's clear that he's gotten lost in his own mind, I try to think of something to say to distract him from his thoughts and keep the conversation going because it's helping to distract me from the fact that I'm probably going to have to go back to my hell soon.

I've had this reprieve for far too long now, and my pain levels are more than manageable, thanks to H and his healing magic. Suddenly, some of what he said sinks in.

"Wait," I say, gaining his attention and pulling him out of his thoughts. "You said wars, as in more than one? How old are you?"

H chuckles, the sound chasing away the shadows that were darkening his eyes thanks to our previous conversation, "Ren, I'm going to be brutally honest with you right now; I have no idea. I'm old enough that I stopped counting."

"Wow," I mutter in reply. I mean, I expected him to be old; he's Hades' right-hand demon, and he had to have earned that spot in the first place, which would have taken time. Then he would've had to have been in the role for a while to earn Hades' friendship as well, so it would stand to reason that he's old, but old enough not to remember how old you are is pretty crazy to me. "So, in all of those years what was your favourite birthday?" I ask him, wanting to keep the conversation light.

He shrugs, "I've never really had a birthday to celebrate. I've just got a year older. I don't think even Hades knows my birthday."

"Seriously?" I ask, and then, because we're sharing anyway, I add, "I haven't either, not really. My uncle would try to sneak me some cake if he could and always try to wish me at least a happy birthday, but my father tried to keep me as isolated as possible, especially on my birthday. He liked me to know how alone and helpless I really was."

H growls, clearly not liking my words but then again who would? It's not exactly pleasant.

"From your words and the sting of pain that accompanied them and most likely the memories of remembered pain, I can tell that there is a lot more to the story. I'm not going to ask, but I do want to tell you that a man who can treat his own daughter how I suspect he treated you doesn't deserve to live." His words are harsh and full of a dark promise.

Even though I know he can't see me, I grin and say, "He is dead. I killed him."

My response startles a surprised laughter out of him before he says, "Good."

After that I share some more of my past as he shares his and learn things like his favourite colour is purple, but he only really likes to wear black.

After it has fallen quiet for a moment I ask a question that has been playing on my mind since he first mentioned that he recoginised my cell.

"H?" I ask and he raises his eyebrow in question, "I don't suppose you know how to get out? Of my cell I mean, you said that you recognised it being in the castle."

That small glimmer of hope that had been building snuffs out entirely as he begins to shake his head.

"No, I'm sorry." He seems extremely frustrated by that fact, "I'm going to assume that the fucking princes have locked down your magic, and that's why you aren't healing properly?"

"Well, yeah," I reply, unsure where he thinks he's going with that line of questioning.

"I might have a way for you to get your magic back, but it's not for the faint-hearted, and it's going to hurt a lot," he says, worry creasing his brow.

I don't even have to think about it as I immediately reply, "Tell me. I'll do anything at this point, and I've never shied away from a bit of pain."

"I don't like that," H replies but simply, but carries on before I can reply, "it would be easier if I could see you. The only way that I'm going to know you're in trouble is because of your pain levels; the problem is, as you said, you have a high pain tolerance."

"I know, but just because I can tolerate it doesn't mean that I'm in any less pain, and you can feel that," I point out.

He hesitates, "Yeah, okay. For the record, I'm already regretting telling you this."

"Too late now," I reply, silently begging that he's not going to back out now, not when I know that there could be a way out of this.

"Okay, so first I need you to . . ."

Before he can say anything else, the threads of consciousness start to tug at me, not now for fuck sake, why.

**********

Wait a second, I'm definitely not back in my cell, I think to myself as I look around the empty but bright space that I find myself in, and it is a space. There's nothing here, no defining features, no hills or buildings. Hell, there are not even any plants; it's just empty space. I'm not really floating though, my feet are definitely on solid ground. I'm used to travelling the Void, which is like this but the dark version and it just feels more than this, it's because of this that it doesn't feel as weird as it should to be standing in nothingness but on something solid.

Shit, am I dead?

If this is the afterlife it's shit.

Although the nothingness for eternity could be classed as hell, I think you'd get pretty bored pretty fucking quickly; the thought of being bored makes me think of H; I'm sure he'd be able to cause trouble here.

My thoughts turn to the guys, and my heart hurts. I don't want to leave them. I've finally found a place where I feel like I belong. They need me; Zev needs someone to be there for him no matter what; Storm needs someone to fight him occasionally; Loki needs someone to remind him that it's okay to feel; Reaper and Ryu need to remember not to fear themselves but trust each other and themselves, Rival needs someone to see him separate from his twin and capable of his own amazing things, Mayhem needs someone to genuinely be interested and excited when he shares something new he learns, Kill needs to be reminded that he is enough and that his past does not define who he is, and Grey well Grey just needs someone to be there, unwaveringly and without question.

I need them, too. I need them for more reasons than I could possibly list, but they make me better in all ways. They make me feel safe, which I never thought it was possible to feel, and even now, just the thought of them makes me feel lighter; even when I'm potentially in grave danger or dead, I'm leaning toward being dead because there's no pain, and there's usually pain.

When my thoughts keep sending me around in circles, I decide that instead of staying glued to the spot I'm currently in, I may as well walk around this empty spot and see if I can find anything of interest. So that's what I do: I walk, and I walk.

"Oh, Farren," a female voice suddenly breaks the silence.

I immediately spin, dropping down into a defensive crouch, only what I see pulls me up short, and I don't immediately attack. The woman standing before me is stunning, with dark hair down to her butt, her skin tanned and gorgeous, and shockingly silver eyes, she looks ethereal, she also has a look of pure anger on her face, and after a moment, I realise that I recognise her voice.

"Erm, hi?" I ask as I straighten up somewhat cautiously. She's not attacking and looks more concerned than anything, but she is immensely powerful; I have never felt any kind of power like it, and I'm beginning to wonder just what kind of supernatural I'm standing in front of.

My greeting has her smiling, but only for a second as her face falls into a concerned frown.

"I'm so sorry, Farren. I wish I could help, but believe it or not if I were to help, the outcome would be worse." Her voice has an ethereal yet husky quality.

I pull a face and figuring I'm dead anyway, I reply with no filter, "That's great and all but I have no fucking idea what you're talking about or who you are."

Her eyes widen slightly before she chuckles, "Oh shit, sorry. I'm talking about your situation with the princes."

When she says princes, thunder rumbles from fuck knows where and the bright space becomes dark as lightening dances in her eyes and the wind whips around her. I stand my ground, my feet practically glued to the floor as I will myself to stay upright; I don't want to show weakness in front of this incredibly powerful supernatural. Even though she hasn't given me any reason to think that she will harm me, it's never a good idea to show weakness in front of someone who is stronger than you. It doesn't however escape my notice that she doesn't tell me her name.

I watch as she takes a deep breath, visibly trying to calm herself, it doesn't take long until the thunder stops and the whole place lightens up instead, back to the bright place that I arrived in.

She smiles sheepishly and says, "Sorry about that; I have some unresolved rage when it comes to the princes."

I return her smile and reply, "Oh, trust me, I get it; I'm hoping my rage doesn't go unresolved, though."

"Me too, Farren," she replies. I raise my eyebrow but don't get the chance to question whether she knows something that I should know because she continues to talk. "Unfortunately, I can't keep you here for very long, so I'm going to have to make my next points very quickly."

"Erm, okay," I reply, because she pauses and it seems like she's waiting for confirmation from me that I've understood her.

"Good," she replies, her husky voice taking on a more business-like tone, "First, and most likely the most important, trust your instincts; they will never steer you wrong. You can trust H," she says this with an amused but brief smile before she continues, "You must listen very carefully to this next part, your decisions from this point onward will greatly affect the outcome, you need to think extremely carefully about the decisions you make, there are certain paths that will be a lot more complicated. I think you've dealt with enough complicated in your life, at least for the time being."

"What outcome?" I ask, she said it like I should be aware of the outcome that we're aiming for, but honestly I have no fucking idea what she's talking about. In fact, the way she's talking like she's all-knowing. . . "Holy fuck, you're a goddess, aren't you?"

I don't know how I've come to that conclusion, but I'm pretty fucking sure I'm right.

She smiles and nods, then continues like I've not just had my mind fucking blown by the fact that I'm talking to a goddess, "Yes, I am. I'm afraid that I can't tell you what the outcome is, or even anything else really."

"But you're a goddess," I feel the need to point it out again.

She chuckles, "Yes, but even we don't know everything and are bound by rules, especially when dealing with the Fates."

"The Fates?" I can't help but question. She simply raises her eyebrow at me, and I add, "Right, you can't tell me. Awesome."

"I know it's frustrating. Trust me, I would love to tell you everything, but as I said before, if I did, I'd be going against the Fates, and by influencing you, I could make it a thousand times worse."

"Why do I get the feeling that this doesn't just affect me?"

"Because even as injured as you are, you have great instincts," she replies.

"I'm going to assume that's all you can say?" I ask, as she just stops talking.

She nods and looks genuinely apologetic; I watch as she tilts her head to the side as if she's listening to something that I can't hear, and then her gaze lands on me again, "We've run out of time. I may not be able to interfere much, but if you allow me to, I can heal you to a certain extent and give you a fighting chance." Her face becomes even more severe as she gently takes my hands in hers, "You must fight Farren. Don't ever stop fighting."

I nod. "I haven't stopped fighting yet."

Her eyes fill with sadness, "No, you haven't. Now, would you like me to heal you?"

"Yes, please," I reply, barely refraining from saying duh. I mean who would be in my position and refuse healing?

She grins as if she heard my thoughts, and to be quite honest, she could have. I have no idea what her gifts are or even much about gods and goddesses, but I do know she's powerful, so it's entirely possible that she's read my mind.

Without any more words, I feel a gentle wash of magic go through me. I'd like to say that I feel the difference, but since I'm in this space made of light, I can't feel pain anyway. I'm assuming that it's something that I'm going to notice back in my cell.

"Thank you," I tell her gratefully.

"I must send you back now, but before you go, I need to tell you one more thing," she starts.

"Okay? Shoot?"

"You have to get out of the cell and get your magic unlocked soon. The effects of not going into the Void are going to start affecting you soon, and you won't be strong enough to get out."

I tense, it's something that has been playing at the back of my mind for a few days now, and to have the seriousness of it confirmed is quite frankly terrifying.

"Any idea how to do that?" I ask her, a little more bite in my tone than I probably should have considering I'm talking to a goddess, but I'm freaking out a little too much to care right now.

She shakes her head, "I'm sorry, Farren, I can't say anything."

"Fantastic," I reply, the snark prominent before I sigh and pinch my nose, distractedly noticing that I am still missing my middle finger. "I'm sorry. I know you can't say things. Thank you for healing me as much as you could."

"I'm sorry, Farren," she repeats.

I don't have time to reply, not that I'm sure what I would reply, as I feel that now familiar tugging sensation urging me back to reality. I don't want to go; I want to stay here, even in this strange and unknown place, even if I was left alone. I don't want to go back to the torture and their stupid questions that I refuse to answer. I want to go back to the Void, I want darkness, but my kind of darkness.

The darkness that makes me feel safe, and powerful. I know now for certain that no one is going to help me and that I don't have very long to figure a way to get myself out of this before it's too late and the Princes either succeed in killing me or my lack of access to the Void kills me. I'm used to being in life-or-death situations, but none of them have been quite like this and seemed this impossible; I'm used to being able to fight back, at least physically, if not magically.

It looks like my luck has finally run out.

A sudden realisation has me cursing; holy shit, I know why her voice seemed familiar. It's the same voice that has been talking to me through the years, the same voice that has helped me countless times, and along with that realisation comes the realisation that I can't even rely on the voice to help this time, because she's told me outright that she can't help any more than she has.

Fuck. I don't think I'm getting out of this one.