Chapter Thirteen

H

S uddenly, her pain level gets impossibly higher, off the charts, and in a way that I'm sure is going to kill her. I can't allow that to happen. It's not that I don't want to; it's that there is something deep inside me on a soul level that won't allow me to let her die. It would kill me, and I can't die easily.

It's because of that I do something that I probably shouldn't, something that I know I shouldn't do while in a dreamscape, and throw as much of my magic as I can at her. It obeys me willingly, readily, as desperate to help her as I am.

Ren screams, her back arching with pain as I feel her heartbeat slow.

No, no, no.

She becomes too bright to look at, the light piercing the shadows that surround her, and yet I still can't make out anything distinguishing about her. It grows so bright that I have absolutely no hope of seeing anything; my magic responds, growing with it until her scream reaches a crescendo and the weight of her disappears from my arms.

I jump up, my eyes squinting, trying to get used to the light, but before I can get them to adjust, I'm forcefully pulled back to the awake world.

**********

"No, what did you do? Hades, you son of a bitch send me back," I growl before my eyes are even open.

I know that Hades is the one who pulled me out. He's the only one who could, especially since I'd put some spells in place to ensure that I couldn't be prematurely woken. They were strong enough that he's the only one that could have pulled them apart to get me out.

"Whoa, hold up, mate," Loki says, and when he sees my expression, which is no doubt in complete panic, he adds, "We had to pull you out. You were kicking off insane amounts of power. Side note: you're incredibly competent at riding and sleeping. I would've fallen off at least six times by now."

I finally open my eyes, the swaying of my horse beneath me registering in my mind again, and I quickly glance around, showing that we're still in the woods.

"You nearly burnt yourself out, friend," Hades adds, concern darkening his features.

"It took a lot to get you out," Zev surprises me by saying.

The surprise is big enough that it makes me ask, "Wait, you're the one that pulled me out?"

Zev tilts his head, looking confused, "Yes, it's something that I've always been able to do."

Storm mutters, and when I look at him adds, "None of us realised that it was in his skill set either. He apparently didn't mention it before because he thought that it was a part of his seer ability."

"Why do you look so confused?" Hades, or as they call him Grey, asks.

"Because I had spells stopping me from being pulled back, strong ones that only you should've been able to break," I explain.

Hades' eyes widen with shock. "Seriously?"

I'm done with this conversation though and my gaze moves to Zev, as I demand, "Dude, I need you to send me back."

"What?" Zev asks.

I sigh, trying to be too patient with him because, quite honestly, I like him, I like them all, but it's fucking hard. "You were able to break through my spells to pull me out, and you didn't even realise that you were doing it; that's not just a dream walker. That's an insanely fucking strong one; you can send me back. You have to send me back."

By the end, my panic has hit the extremes again, and all of them are tense.

"We're going to need a little bit more information. Is this your woman?" Killian asks.

I sigh, but I know that he's right, "Yes, she was dying, and I have no idea if she succeeded in what she was trying to do or if she died. I have to go back. I have to know if she died."

Sympathy immediately floods all of their features. All of them know how much I've been struggling with these dreams, and they don't even know the half of it; for some reason, I find myself unable to tell them certain things. I can't even tell them that I'm struggling to tell them things which is irritating as fuck.

Zev steps forward, "I can send you back easily enough, but if she's real, then there's no telling whether she will still be there, and you may still not know if she's alive."

"He's right. Sending you back could give you no answers whatsoever, and from what I understand, it's a lengthy process to send you back and involves spell ingredients that we'd have to go back to Monty's to pick up, which would delay us getting to Farren and Monty said that we were running out of time." Hades replies.

Zev is shaking his head before Hades has even finished talking, and immediately replies, "Not for me, I don't need anything else, I can just send him back."

"You can?" Mayhem asked, as shocked as I feel.

Zev nods, "Yeah, I've pretty much always been able to do it."

"And you thought that your only gift was being an incredibly powerful seer?" Reaper questions.

Zev rubs a hand on the back of his neck as he glances around at all of us, "Like I said, I just thought it was a part of being a seer, but from your reaction, I'm guessing it's not?"

Hades shakes his head, "No, it's not."

Zev's eyebrows rise, and then he adds, "I guess we can come back to that later. If I'm going to help you, I need to do it now while the dream is still fresh."

"Please?" I ask, and I see Hades' eyes widen in surprise.

"Settle on your saddle again and close your eyes. When you feel my magic, do not fight it; it should put you under and back in the dream almost immediately."

I again feel surprise but couldn't really care less right now, I need to see if she's okay, she has to be okay.

I nod and make sure that I'm not going to slip from my seat as I prepare to head back to find her.

I feel Zev's magic start to build before it suddenly stops.

"No." A lilting voice echoes around us, and we all draw our weapons. "I can't let you go back. I'm sorry."

The heaviness in the air that came along with the voice suddenly disappears, and it's only then that I recognise it for what it is.

"Fuck," I growl, "was that a goddess?"

Hades nods.

"Why the fuck would the gods and goddesses have a problem with sending you back?" Storm demands.

"How the fuck should I know?" I retort sharply.

Everyone falls silent.

"I'm sorry," Rival says quietly.

I nod curtly, but that's all I can manage as my mind whirls with all the possibilities. Am I not allowed to go back because she's dead, so it would be pointless, or is there another reason? Why can I not know? I hate not knowing. I need to know that she's okay. The thing is, I really don't think that she's okay, and I have no idea how to deal with that. There's so much that I still don't know about her and so much that I want to know. More than that though, there are the mysteries surrounding her; she kicked off a hell of a lot of power when she was fighting to get to her magic, more than any normal supernatural would do, and why can't I tell the guys anything substantial?

As my mind spins with unanswered questions and fear, I push my horse to pick up speed. I need a more challenging ride to get me out of my head and stop this hurt that's trying to encroach on me. The others don't question me; they don't try to stop me, as they just encourage their horses to pick up speed and keep close. I know that if anything tried to attack us right now, they'd pick up the slack until I got my shit in the game. I just need a moment to collect myself and work on how I'm going to find out if she's okay or not.

"We will help you find her; we can figure out a way to get back to the dream or find her in the cells at the castle like we originally planned," Storm starts.

"Are we even sure that she's in the Fae realm?" Rival questions, his voice raised to be heard over the pounding hooves.

His response has my mind pausing for a second. I'm starting to wonder if she is actually in the cells at the castle or if it's just a manifestation of my own memories. She's being held somewhere, but that could be anywhere, not necessarily in the cells; either way, for some reason, I can't say anything, so I reply instead, "I have no idea what realm she's in."

"I thought you said that she was in the cells at the castle?" Hades asks, looking confused.

I sigh, feeling frustrated, "I don't know anymore. I thought it was the cells, but what if I was wrong? I'm suddenly unsure about everything."

"We can try and find her, there are spells that can go across realms." Mayhem replies.

A small smile stretches my lips, "Thank you."

"Of course," Hades replies and then adds, "We're on a time constraint right now though, so we're going to have to find Farren. First, I'm sorry."

I shake my head, "No, don't apologise, Farren needs to be found immediately."

I understand the mission, and as always, a mission comes first. Besides, as difficult as it is to admit, and as much as I don't want to do it, there is still a chance that Farren can be saved, and I have no idea what state Ren is in or if she's even alive. Hell, I don't even know if she's real. I mean, my instincts are telling me that she's real; there's no way that I could be this affected by a figment of my imagination, but I might want her to be real too much. At least, that's my fear. She was dying when she came to the dream; her light was fading, and she wouldn't have woken up once she left the dream; I could feel that. I've been around enough people on the edge of death to know that she only had as long as the dream lasted left to live.

Anyway, it gives me something else to focus on. I do a hell of a lot better with violence, death, and pain than I do with all of these emotions that I am not familiar with.

From that point on, we focus on riding hard, we're not that far away from our last rest stop before we get to Farren, and even I can feel the urgency that's pushing us.

Farren

T he light blinds me, and honestly, I expect to see some kind of paradise in my own little slice of the Underworld, the spirit side of it, not this side. I wonder what it will look like and what my deepest desires will make my paradise look like.

Surprise jolts me as I open my eyes to find myself in my corner of the cell. Pain is wrecking my body. I still feel on the edge of death, but something is different. It takes me moments to realise that it's my magic I can feel my magic, which means I fucking did it.

H, you beautiful bastard.

Without a second thought, I allow my magic to take me over and pull me into the Void. Relief immediately fills me as the power of the Void rushes me, healing me and filling me with power. Usually, I resist the power surge, and I fight the overwhelming magic that it gives me, but not this time. I've missed my magic too damn much; I was hurt too badly for too fucking long, and so instead of fighting it and worrying about losing control when I step out, I embrace it fully.

Something unfurls within me, something I'm sure that I've never felt before. I'd question it, but I have a prison to escape.

"Thank you," I tell the Void, my hair whipping around me in a frenzy; I can feel the Void. I don't know how to explain it without sounding crazy, but it seems grateful. I have no idea why it would be grateful to me, but again, I have no time to question it right now, and instead, I make a silent promise that I will be back soon before I head back to the cell.

I don't even try to see if I can leave the Void at another point and get out of my cell that way. one, I need to see if Xerxes left or if he is still in the cell; I'd never forgive myself if he got stuck in there. However, he does seem to be able to turn up where we need him to, and I'm unsure whether it's his magic or someone who is sending him. The other thing is that if I go back to the Shadowlands and the guys like this, with this much Void magic in me, I'm incredibly dangerous. I could kill them, not hurt them but kill them. I can feel it, the strength it's given me is even more than usual but strangely enough, along with the extra strength has also come control.

I don't know whether it's because I haven't had my magic for too long, but I would've thought that my magic would be more uncontrollable because of that. Or the more likely case is that my magic and the Void know exactly what I plan to do as soon as I get back into the cell, and because of that, it has a focus that's helping to stop me from losing my shit, or at least that's what I'm going with.

As I step back into the cell, I glance down at my hand with a frown. I still don't have my finger back, and I don't know why; it doesn't make sense because the Void usually heals everything else; something else to add to the pile of mysteries, I guess.

"Farren?" Xerxes' shocked voice asks.

I spin around revelling in the fact that I can move so easily and smile as his tiny form comes out from a crevice in the cell wall, ah so that's where he's been for the last god knows how long. I actually don't know how long I've been here for. I have no windows, so there's no way to see when the suns rise or set, and you kind of stop trying to keep count of the days.

"Hey, Xerxes," I say as I pick him up.

"How are you okay?" he asks incredulously, "You were dead, I'm sure of it. I didn't understand why I hadn't been pulled back, but now I see it's because you're still alive. I'm so fucking glad that you're okay. You are okay, aren't you? I'm not dreaming? The princes didn't find me, did they?"

I shake my head, "No, the princes haven't got you, and yes, I was dying. A friend helped me and told me how to get my magic back."

"You owe your friend your life," Xerxes replies.

"I do," I agree, "but first, I need to take the lives of a few people."

"Farren, I just, it's just," he starts stuttering, and I stop heading toward the cell door, giving him time to finish his sentence, "I am so fucking glad that you're okay; that was hard to watch. I couldn't do anything, I have no offensive magic at all apart from the poison thing that you know about, but they'd have to touch me and there's no way that I could've gotten close to them without them realising that I was coming. I'm so sorry, I couldn't help."

My heart fills with more affection for the quirky book, "It's okay, honestly, I wouldn't have wanted you to expose yourself to them anyway, not only would it have gotten you hurt and they would've used you to hurt me even more but also we wouldn't have wanted to let them know that you're here, you're a very powerful tool for anyone to have and they most definitely shouldn't have you."

"You're right," he replies, sounding relieved.

As I take another step, his pages light up, making me pause again. He floats out of my hand, and he opens his pages, flickering. I hope he finds whatever has suddenly appeared in his pages quickly because I have no idea how long it's been since they last tortured me, but I know for a fact that they'll be back soon to see if I'm dead or try to torture more information out of me.

"What's this?" I ask as I look at the map set out on the page.

"Well, the information that I've been given states that it's a map leading to Hades vault," Xerxes replies.

"The key fragment, that's where the key fragment for the gates to the Underworld is, right?"

"Yeah, that's right," he replies.

I grin; my magic is beginning to get incredibly antsy; it needs to be released, like usual, "Well, I might as well make good use of being here, you know, other than killing as many of the fucking princes as I can."

"There's five, Farren, four princes, and they're fucking strong," Xerxes warns me.

My smile is sharp, "There's actually five, but Azreal is different. He never joined in the torture before, and he never did this time. So long as he doesn't get in the way, then I'll leave him alone." I pause contemplatively before I continue, "The others though, I'm going to take them all on, and I'm going to repay them for what they did to me and the problems and pain that they've inflicted on the Underworld because I can guarantee that with them in charge and Hades missing in action, the Underworld and the natives are in trouble."