Chapter 2

TWO

D inner was on Zed. He didn't wave around the size of his wallet often, but for tonight, for the best friends he would probably ever have, he would. Also, he knew if he didn't, Flick would probably order the cheapest bowl of soup on the menu and the guy needed to eat . He'd never quite bested the habit of making do with the least amount possible.

As Zed watched Flick inhale the giant bowl of fruit he'd ordered him as a surprise dessert, a thread of worry wound through his chest. Up until now, there'd been pain at the thought of leaving Flick—an impending sense of loss. But would Flick remember to eat something more than a protein bar if Zed wasn't around to remind him? Would there be anyone to shove him toward his bunk instead of letting him stay up too late to tinker on his latest project?

Maybe Flick would find a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Zed frowned. That was something they'd never really talked about. Was it weird, that they never had? Usually their chats focused on the two of them, their plans, their thoughts, their in-jokes, their latest projects. He'd thought about telling Flick about his time with Dawna—losing his virginity was a big deal, right?—but it had never felt like a good thing to do. Not that Flick didn't know about it—fuck, by a day later, everyone knew Dawna had seduced him, because apparently she had no problems talking about it. But Zed kept the details to himself.

It would've been a good time to ask Flick about his thoughts on that. Sex . But… he hadn't. For some reason, he just… hadn't.

Coward.

"Zed, I can hear your brain working from over here."

Zed blinked and looked across the table at Marnie, cuddled up next to Ryan. She wore a happy, slightly dopey smile—probably thanks to the amber-colored aperitif in her hands.

"What're you thinking about, man?" Ryan prompted.

"Stuff." Zed nudged his specialty coffee with his fingers, making the handle of the cup turn. "You know."

Marnie made a disgusted noise. "We're not going to wallow. Not tonight."

Emma nodded. "She's right. Tonight is about celebrating the last six years. Celebrating us." She raised her glass. "To us."

Glasses clinked together, but Zed didn't miss the fact Flick said nothing. He was being quiet tonight—not uncharacteristically so, because Flick could brood with the best of them. Just… a lot more subdued than usual.

Zed draped an arm over Flick's shoulders and tugged him closer. "You okay?"

"Sure." With a bit of squirming, Flick retrieved his wallet and set it on the table. A couple of key selections on the holographic interface brought up a holo-recorder.

"Uh oh, Flick's collecting evidence."

"Shut up, Ryan," Flick grumbled, though Zed could hear the slight smile in his voice. "I just… keep talking, all right? I want to be able to remember your voices and… shit."

Emma practically melted—so not her, but Zed blamed the booze that had been flowing through dinner. "That's so sweet, Felix."

"Yeah, yeah."

"He's your bestie, Zed," Marnie said. "Did you know he had a secret sweetness streak?"

Zed hugged Flick a little closer. God, he was going to miss this. "I suspected."

"You did not." Flick elbowed him in the ribs, not hard. "Asshole."

"Aw, but you love me." Zed tugged at Flick again when he stiffened against him and slouched in the booth, grinning at his friends. "Okay, let's tell some tales for Flick's holo. Remember the time Marnie promised us we weren't going to get caught putting itching powder in Neal the Asshole's underwear?"

Marnie shook her head. "Hey, that wasn't my fault!"

Zed sipped at his coffee as the table degenerated into shared memories and laughter as they relived the best moments of their time at Shepard Academy. Flick was warm, solid, secure at his side, and… damn, he was going to miss this.

"Come dance with us!" Marnie tugged on Felix's hand, pulling him toward the cacophony of light and sound pulsing through the middle of the club.

Shaking his hand loose, Felix waved her off. "Maybe in a bit. When I find my feet."

Judging by the shape of Marnie's lips, she'd scoffed. It was hard to hear anything in the din. "You've got five minutes!" Turning, she disappeared into the throng with Ryan.

Holographic images swirled across the dancefloor, weaving streamers and ethereal forms between the writhing bodies of the dancers. Even without four shots of whatever he'd been drinking burning a path from his sinuses to his gut, Felix would have had difficulty telling fantasy from reality. The squawk and grind of the music buzzing between his temples didn't help. He continued to stare into the crowd, though, hoping for a glimpse of Zed.

There he was. Despite his height and bulk, Zed moved like quicksilver. Felix loved to watch him dance. It was as if the music moved inside Zed. Or something like that. Emma danced with him and she put on a good show too, alternately flirting with Zed and the guy behind her, hips rocking forward and back to keep both guys involved. She had one arm curled around Zed's shoulders and the other flung behind her to tease the other guy's hair.

Felix's gut clenched every time she rocked into Zed.

The holo show brightened, blotting out the dancers as the music changed tempo. Hazy starscapes pulsed through the air, spinning and contracting. Felix thought he might throw up. He looked down to find his feet, unsure if they were still attached to his body. Then he was yanked sideways. Someone had caught his wrist. He stumbled into a crush of bodies, hands flailing about for purchase. When he looked up, Emma's face loomed close to his. Too close. He could smell her breath. The weights at his shoulders were her arms.

Felix turned his head, looking for Zed, and Emma caught his cheek, unsubtly forcing him to face forward again. "He went to find the head."

"Oh." Belatedly, Felix thought to play dumb, pretend he hadn't been looking for Zed, and that she shouldn't something… something. But his thoughts were too swirly and Emma wore a grin she'd borrowed from Marnie. The "knowing grin."

Her hips bumped into his. "C'mon, loosen up. Or I'll pour another shot down your throat."

His feet had been moving, sorta. But the music hadn't caught him yet. Felix didn't dance much. Not outside of his head. Closing his eyes, he tried to feel the beat like Zed did.

Emma let go of his shoulders and grabbed his hips. "Like this. Jesus, Flick. For an athletic guy, you move like shit."

"I don't really wanna dance."

"Yeah, you do."

There was no point in arguing. Emma always got the last word. And, really, she was only looking out for him in her own way. He let Emma move his hips and gave in to the weird rhythms pulsing through the air. The holograms seemed to caress the exposed skin at the back of his neck, and the floor moved beneath his feet. Or maybe his feet were moving. Maybe he was actually dancing, and feeling freer for it. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes again. Did it matter what he looked like? No one could really see him.

Emma's hands left his hips. Felix opened his eyes to find Zed had returned. The chaotic patterns of light turned Zed's eyes to steel rather than blue, and his mouth was slanted into a sleepy-drunk smile. Felix's gut clenched tighter, as did points farther south. If Emma bumped her hips to his anytime soon, she was in for a surprise. She had turned to dance with Zed, but did the swept back arm thing to keep Felix involved, then she melted or something. Must have been the holos or the liquor swirling through his veins, because suddenly Felix was dancing with Zed.

No hands on hips or curled about shoulders, no grinding, flexing, simulated sex. Emma had taken that with her—apparently supposing they'd forget she'd gone and bump into one another by mistake. Maybe she had known about Felix's erection.

She'd also taken all the breathable air with her, because none existed between him and Zed. Just this weird state of expectation and temptation. A longing that didn't feel all his own. Why was Zed looking at him like that? What did the question in his eyes mean?

Maybe Felix was just doing it wrong, the dancing thing. He had grace in the gym, but not here.

Zed raised a hand as if to touch him. Felix batted it away. Instinct had him following up, pushing his palm to Zed's opposite shoulder as he sought to unbalance his opponent. Realizing what he'd done, Felix rocked back. Shit. That wasn't…

He needed air, space.

Thrusting his way through the dancers, Felix stumbled across the dark floor of the club looking for the exit. He bounced around for a while until he found the staircase leading to the roof.

What the hell?

The music and the dancers flowed around Zed, unnoticed, as he stared at Flick's fleeing back. His blood buzzed with energy even as his mind felt a bit blurry with the shots Marnie had bought all of them. He'd lost himself in the energy of the dance, appreciating Emma's moves—damn, she could roll her hips like no one's business—and then Flick had been there and he'd wanted to be closer. He'd wanted to hold him. He?—

Fuck, he had a hard-on.

It wasn't the first time he'd gotten horny on the dance floor. Bodies moving, butts and groins rubbing… erections were kind of a given. But he hadn't gotten hard watching Emma.

He'd gotten hard watching Flick .

"Are you gonna go after him?" Marnie shouted in his ear.

He turned to her. "What?"

"Are you gonna go after him?" She arched a brow.

"I—" He stared at the crowd again.

Marnie laid a hand on his shoulder. "You're gonna regret it if you don't."

Yeah. Yeah, he would.

He ignored the part of himself that begged him to stand still and think . Thinking could be overrated—it was something his instructors had cautioned him about. Considering every angle was all well and good, but sometimes action had to happen on instinct. He pushed forward, through the crowd, aiming for the area where he'd lost sight of Flick. Breaking through the edge, he stumbled and caught himself against the wall. The bass beat of the music thrummed through him and he felt unsteady, as though he was walking on the deck of a ship and not a concrete floor. Was it the music making him feel that way? Or the emotions, hardly acknowledged, cascading through his mind and heart?

Stop fucking thinking.

He yanked open a nearby door to find a staircase leading up. Unless Flick had slipped back into the crowd, this is where he would have had to go—there were no other exits. Zed leaped up the stairs two by two until he reached the top of them and another door. Then he paused, filled with a certainty that opening it would lead him somewhere unknown. Somewhere he'd never considered going.

He could turn around. He could walk back downstairs and find Emma in the crowd. He felt nothing for her but friendship, but she was a good friend. An awesome friend.

Not as good as Flick, though. No one was like Flick.

He pulled the door open and stepped through.