10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Ruya

I clasped Yukio's gloved hand tightly in mine as we walked through the chilly forest. A lifeline to keep me from getting lost or stumbling and hurting myself. I didn't often spend much time thinking about my blindness. It was just a part of who I was. I was used to it. For most of my life, I had been sheltered, locked away in the cult's tower in their secret pocket world. My entire world had consisted of my bedroom, bathroom, and the bit of the hallway I experienced on the rare occasions when The Mother dragged me out to a bigger room for some ceremony or show of magic. I had always been guarded, at least two people nearby who would keep me from harming myself in any way. They were careful to maintain The Coven of the Triple Moon's prized asset. I was contained, and my needs seen to by others. So, my blindness was never really a barrier.

Now, my world was so much larger. The world, and the possibilities for my future, stretched out around me in what sometimes felt like an endless space. It was exhilarating. Mostly. But at times like this, I was keenly aware of that vastness. And of all the dangers it held for someone like me. Someone who couldn't see what was coming. Who was terrible at self-defense, despite Martina's best efforts to teach me. I had no great defensive magic. And I had very limited experience with the people and places around me, little context to draw from when I found myself in strange situations. Which seemed to happen all the time now.

As I walked along in the endless woods, trying not to trip over branches and underbrush or run into trees, very aware of the fact that there were probably invisible wild fae eyes on us, watching our every move, trying to decide if we were a threat… I realized that my affection for Yuki ran deeper than I had really acknowledged before. Yes, his exterior was a frosty barrier meant to keep anyone from getting too close. But I had long since learned to pay more attention to his actions than his words.

He held my hand just as tightly as I held his. He murmured cautions to me now and then, and guided me around obstacles with more patience than he ever showed for anyone or anything in his life. Back home, at The Fox, he was constantly cooking for me, making little treats that he knew I would enjoy. He also stood up for me with the others, advocating for them to give me space, or to curb their behavior where I was concerned. He paid attention. He knew when I was about to lose my patience with some of our more… eager court members. And there was always this little thrum of awareness between us. My magic and my soul reacting to his. He thought I was oblivious. That he hid it well under his gruff, grumpy words. But I knew he felt it too.

"What nonsense is that silly head of yours creating now?" my fae companion said into the cold air, his hand giving mine a little squeeze as if to rouse me from my daydreams.

I turned my head slightly toward him and smiled softly, trying to sound cagey. As if I actually was dreaming up mischief. "Who, me?"

He scoffed and tugged on my hand, pulling me to the side. "Rock," he explained. Then he resumed his prodding. "Your face went all disgusting and dreamy there for a moment. I was concerned you might be ill."

I huffed a laugh and leaned toward him, awkwardly bumping our shoulders together as we walked. "I was just thinking how sweet you are," I teased. "And there you go proving it with your honeyed words."

He didn't reply. But I imagined his expression was unimpressed.

I had been doing that a lot lately. Imagining what people's faces looked like. It was all Cicely's fault. I had a limited bank of visuals to draw from. But my sweet faun had gifted me with the ability to see not only his own face, but Dusek's as well. And now I was curious. Was everyone in the rebel court as beautiful as I thought they must be?

"There," Yukio said in a mock frustrated tone. "That look right there. You appear to have intestinal cramps."

"Yuki!" I gasped in joking outrage. "Don't be disgusting. My intestines are just fine."

He was silent, but I got the sense of amusement loud and clear. He liked seeing if he could offend my naive sensibilities. Too bad for him, I was used to my previous keepers treating me more like an object without any sensibilities to offend, rather than a thinking, feeling person. Besides, I was a healer of sorts. I was hardly going to faint over a little toilet humor.

"Are you cold?" he asked quietly, his voice devoid of its previous teasing tone. "I know it's snowy around us. But I'm nearly immune to the cold, so sometimes it's hard to gauge its effects on others." He paused, pulling me to a stop and taking both my gloved hands between his, rubbing them like a concerned parent. "How does that feel? Any numbness? Pins and needles?"

I huffed. "Yuki. I'm cold, yes. But I don't have frostbite." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It wouldn't be kind to dismiss his concern. And it would hardly encourage him to be more honest with me if I scoffed at his vulnerable show of worry. "I think I would sense it if I was in danger of freezing to death, probably a bit faster than your usual witch or human, thanks to my powers. I can't keep going forever out here in the cold, but I'm okay for now."

Looking earnestly in his direction, I risked being just a little bit emotional. "I'm glad you're here with me. Thank you for looking out for me."

He didn't scoff or make any response at all. We just stood there for a moment, surrounded by a mostly silent forest filled only with the soft sounds of birdsong and the wind through the trees. Then he turned and kept walking, tugging me along behind him. "Hurry up. We should cover as much ground as we can now, before your overconfidence catches up with you and your toes freeze off. I'm sure Robin and the others wouldn't be impressed if I brought you back with missing parts."

I shook my head at his deflection, but didn't comment.

He was right. It was cold out here. I had been dressed for snow to begin with, since it was cold in the pocket world when we arrived. But I wasn't half yuki-onna. Eventually the cold and the lack of shelter were going to become a problem. I tugged my scarf up over the lower half of my face with my free hand and hoped we reached the border of the fae preserve sooner rather than later.

We walked in silence for a time after that. Well, at least, silence between Yuki and me. The forest around us was quite loud. Not only were there the usual sounds of nature, but also the chatter of the animals we passed, hidden away under leaf and twig, or simply by my blindness. They were curious about us. They thought we smelled different and felt different than the other people-types who lived in this place. Familiar, but not.

That would be Yuki's fae blood, I assumed. I wasn't going to pretend to understand even half the strange politics that existed between the various branches of the syndicate, the paranormal world in general, or the fae in particular. But I knew a little bit of what it was like to belong everywhere and nowhere all at once. I had been raised as a priestess who lived to serve the people around her. But I was kept apart from everyone, my keepers and guards afraid to have even a passing conversation with me because it might provoke The Mother's wrath.

Yukio hated O'Dell and the syndicate's face. And yet, he had been one of them. Others of his kind apparently only saw him as a syndicate goon. He no longer belonged to the syndicate. But he wasn't wanted here among his wild brethren. I could understand why that might chafe at the already grumpy fae.

We had been walking for what seemed like forever. My feet ached, and I was starting to shiver under the thick protection of my parka. "Yukio?" I said finally, hating that I needed to show weakness, but knowing it was for the best.

"You need to stop," he said tiredly. "I know. Just a little bit further. There's a rock formation of some sort up ahead, in the shelter of some trees. I think we can manage to concoct some kind of shelter there."

"Thank you," I murmured. He was already looking out for me. Anticipating my needs before they arose. Of course he was. He might not be a beta. But from what I had seen, gammas could walk the line between being fighters and protectors. And right now, Yukio was the latter.

We walked on for a couple more minutes, but Yukio's steps slowed. It took me a moment to realize that the background chatter in the forest around us had died down. It truly was silent now. Not even the breeze dared breathe.

"What business have you in our lands, traitor?" A low, reedy voice inquired.

Yuki kept walking, tugging me on behind him even as he replied. "Currently, I'm trying to find shelter for the witch. Who has nothing to do with your feud with the syndicate."

I kept silent. I had no idea what the best course of action was. And as I understood it, speaking the wrong words to a fae—especially a wild fae with their ancient roots—was a dangerous move.

I stumbled to a halt when something wrapped around my ankle, twisting up my leg to mid-thigh and rooting me to the ground. "We will not ask again," the reedy voice said, soft, but cold. "What brings you to this sacred place, traitor? Answer carefully and you might live to see the morrow."

"He's not a traitor!" I blurted, unable to help myself. I should let Yuki handle this. But he would choose defensiveness over honesty. And I was pretty sure that was a vine wrapped around my leg. From what he said, the magical denizens of this forest had been pushed here by the syndicate and the human governments, but they had power here. They could warp time, make us wander lost in this wood for the rest of our lives. Or trap us here, rooted to the frozen ground while we succumbed to cold and hunger. I envisioned the woody vines wrapping around my whole body, encasing me. Turning me into a new tree for this frozen forest. "We were attempting to kill the emperor. We just got a little lost along the way."

"Ruya!" Yukio hissed, clearly displeased with me for spilling the beans.

I hissed right back at him. "What? Would you have me stand here freezing while you argue with the literal force of nature I can feel surrounding us? I'm cold, Yukio. And tired. And hungry. And we'll wander around out here until we die if we don't do something."

"We can offer you shelter. A warm place to lay your head. And food to fill your bellies," the reedy voice of the wild fae said slowly.

"Perfect," I answered immediately. "Yes. Please."

Yukio groaned from beside me. "Do not accept boons from strange fae, woman! Have you absorbed none of the knowledge we've all been trying to cram into that pretty little head of yours?"

I huffed. He was right. I knew he was. But I was so cold. My legs hurt from my toes all the way up to my butt from all the hiking. And my fingertips were starting to go numb. I had also passed "hungry" and progressed to "slightly woozy" some time ago from lack of food. I had no idea how long we had been walking… but it was long enough that I was starting to fear for us in a big way.

"The woman has already agreed to our aid, traitor. We will discuss what favor you now owe us once we fulfill our end of the bargain, and once we ensure you will both live long enough to repay the favor."

The vines loosened from around my leg, apparently withdrawing into the ground once more.

"Come," the wild fae commanded.

Yukio took my hand once more, squeezing hard. "I have no idea what you've just agreed to on our behalf, witch," he murmured darkly. "But I hope it's worth a nap in a cage and a possibly poisoned last meal."

I huffed. "Surely it can't be that bad."

But I wondered. Didn't most fae bargains in the fairytales the humans wrote usually end in disaster? Maybe the bed they offered would be a bed of nails. Maybe the heat would be flames to torture us. Maybe Yuki was right, and the food would be drugged or poisoned. But honestly? I was so tired I no longer cared.

"Let me do the talking from now on," Yukio whispered close to my ear, making me shudder. "Maybe I can get them to release you somewhere safe where the others can find you. It's the traitor high fae they have a problem with. Not you."

Ah yes, definitely the words of a man who hated me and wished me ill will.

Now, if I could just figure out how to keep Yukio's grudging affection from turning into self-sacrifice… we might just survive.