Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

MONSTER

The locker room is loud as I enter with my bag and begin to change.

“Ready for the first game of the year?” Alexander, better known as Lex, asks and I nod with a big grin.

“So fucking ready,” I tell him and reach my fist out to bump his.

“Any lucky ladies cheering you on tonight?” he asks with a waggle of his brows.

I roll my eyes and give his shoulder a playful push. “Not a lucky lady, but a lucky man,” I tell him with a wink taking in the way his brows shoot upward.

“I didn’t know you swung both ways,” he responds, and I shrug.

“Does it matter that I do?” I question and he shakes his head quickly throwing his hands up in surrender like he’s sorry he offended me.

“Not at all, man. I just always thought you were straight.”

I wave him off. “It’s cool. I get why you thought that but I’m not and I’m really into this guy.”

“That’s cool. You deserve to be happy. You’re a great guy,” Lex says, slapping me on the shoulder.

“Thanks, man. If you want, you can let the other guys know that I’m taken so they lay off of me for a bit,” I tell him, and he chuckles but nods.

“I’ll see what I can do. But you know some are gonna want proof. It would be far too easy for you to create a fake boyfriend.”

I roll my eyes. “Y’all are far too obsessed with my love life.”

He laughs and wanders off as I finish changing while thinking about Finn. It was really easy telling Lex about him, and I can’t wait to tell my parents when I see them after the game. I’d invite Finn to meet them, but I know that would scare him off. He probably thinks I’m crazy telling them about him so soon. And I get that it’s early, but I don’t hide things from my parents. I’m a transparent person and they would find out soon enough anyway. So what’s the point in stalling?

Once I’m finished changing, I send a quick text to Finn, smiling as I do so.

Me: I have to put my phone away until after the game, but I’ll text you after. I hope you got your tickets okay and enjoy the game. Talk soon.

“Lex was right. You are in love,” Blaze says with a shit eating grin. And no, Blaze isn’t a nickname. His dad was a firefighter and wanted to give his son a kick ass name. I think he succeeded.

“I wouldn’t say I’m in love since it’s brand new, but yeah, I’m seeing someone. He’s a great guy.”

“Lex also mentioned that you were seeing a guy. I didn’t know you were bi,” he replies, and I shrug.

“Does it matter?” I check the same way I did with Lex.

He shakes his head. “Not at all. I’m just glad you’re happy.”

I nod. “I am. Who knows where this is going to go, but I’m hopeful.”

“You deserve it, dude. You’re one of the nicest guys I know. I’m happy for you.”

Coach Jones calls our attention at that moment, and I lock my phone away before grabbing a spot on one of the benches.

The locker room is filled with excited energy as Coach Jones gives us a pep talk. The first game of the year is always special, and I can’t wait to give it my all tonight. Especially since I have someone watching who I’d really like to impress tonight.

Once Coach’s speech is over, we head out to the diamond, the crowd cheering loudly as we make our way out. My eyes track over the faces of the fans as I walk, hoping to find Finn in the sea of people, even though I know it’s a long shot.

A high-pitched whistle pulls my attention and a girl with bright red hair is jumping up and down. But it’s the beautiful man to her right who is blushing the most gorgeous shade of pink that catches my eye.

He came. And he’s wearing a GSU baseball hoodie. Fuck I didn’t think a sight like that would turn me on, but my cock perks up the smallest amount at the sight. Which is quite unfortunate since baseball pants don’t have a lot of room, and if I pop a full-on boner people are going to see it. Not to mention that my parents are in the stands somewhere and that is the last thing that I want them to see. I need to think of dead things or anything unsexy before this gets out of hand. How the fuck do average guys deal with shit like this on a regular basis? I’ve never had an unwanted hard on before and I can see them being a fucking nuisance. Yet at the same time, I’m kind of happy that I’m able to have this reaction to Finn.

I’m smiling like a damn fool as I wave at Finn and Chantell then move further onto the field. I don’t need Coach Jones yelling at me because I have heart eyes for my man. My head is supposed to be in the game, and now that I know that Finn actually came, it will be. I’m going to put all my focus into playing the best game I ever have. I mean, I always do, but tonight I have someone I want to impress so it feels even more important.

Since we are the home team, our opponents are up to bat first. I make my way to my spot, getting into position between second and third base.

As shortstop, I am continuously in motion, controlling the area between second and third base. I have to keep my eyes on the runners as well as the odd line drive or grounder that can come my way. It’s up to me to be fast on my feet and throw with accuracy. If I’m having an off day it can have a huge impact on the game.

“Your man is a cutie,” Blaze says as he jogs past me to get to second base. “But I’d like to get his friend's number,” he adds, and I can’t help but laugh.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I tell him.

I obviously don’t know Chantell that well, but I would put in a good word for Blaze if she is into the idea.

Once the game starts, my entire focus is tuned in to what’s happening in front of me. The crowd and Finn temporarily leave my mind. Nothing else exists right now except this game. It’s how I’ve always been when it comes to baseball.

Lex, our pitcher, steps up to the plate, tossing the ball in his hand and eyeing down our opponents. Even though I’m behind him, I know he has a wicked grin on his face and is ready to get this game started. So am I.

It doesn’t matter that it’s only the first game of the year. We always play like it’s the championships.

The game is already flying by in a blur of sweat. The hunger to win is coursing through my veins. I fucking love it.

We are currently in the bottom of the sixth with a score of six-one in our favor. But even though we are in the lead, we can’t get cocky. There are still three innings left and anything can happen. But the healthy lead that we have doesn’t hurt.

I’m fifth up to bat, and when it’s my turn, the bases are loaded. I grab my bat and step up to the plate, watching the pitcher, and keeping my eye on the ball. Finn is watching me, and I want this hit to be a good one. I want to impress him with my skills even though I know he isn’t a sports guy. Maybe if this game is amazing, he’ll become addicted to watching me play. A guy can dream, can’t he?

I keep my breathing even as I wait for the pitcher. When he releases the ball, I’m ready. I swing with all my might and then start running. The ball fucking flies over the outfield and into the crowd giving me a home run!

The crowd jumps to their feet and cheers so loudly I can practically feel the vibration of it in the air.

None of that matters, though. My eyes hone in on Finn and Chantell, who are jumping up and down as I make my way around the bases. Finn’s obvious joy and excitement makes my smile grow even wider. I’m so glad they got to see me hit like that. I’m a pretty decent batter, but I don’t hit home runs in every single game.

My teammates shout and give me high-fives once I finally make it back to the dugout. Coach Jones gives me a pat on the back congratulating me.

“Great fucking hit, Son,” he tells me with a nod.

“Thanks, Coach,” I reply before heading back to the bench.

Coach Jones calls all of us Son, and I love the title. He’s like a second father to me and has always been one of my biggest champions. He pushes all of us hard, but he does it because he knows our true potential. He doesn’t believe in half-assing anything, and if he sees us slacking, you can bet your last dollar that he’s going to call us out on it. And I appreciate it because it’s made me the player I am today. I’ve always given it my all, but I do think I would have gotten complacent at times if it weren’t for him urging me to try even harder.

“Dude, that was a wicked fucking hit,” Lex tells me with an awe-filled tone.

I beam at him and nod. “I think that was a record hit for me.”

“I bet you really impressed your boyfriend,” he replies with a waggle of his brows. “Maybe you’ll get lucky tonight as a reward.” He winks at me, and my stomach sinks.

I’m not extremely close with Lex, so he doesn’t know that I’m on the ace spectrum and struggle with sex. Which means he doesn’t know how much his words bother me.

I want Finn — and the morning wood that I woke up with this morning tells me my desire for him isn’t a one off — but I’m beyond nervous to cross that line with him. I’m a fucking twenty-one-year-old virgin who has no idea what he’s doing, let alone how to please a man like Finn. But he doesn’t care that I’m inexperienced. From how he was talking last night, I know he doesn’t judge me. He told me he was fine with taking things slow, so I know I’m stressing for no reason, but it’s hard not to.

I shrug at Lex, trying to play it cool and not show that I’m freaking out on the inside. “We’ll see what happens.”

Both of us turn our attention back to the ongoing game, and I’m glad for the break in conversation.

I’ve always hated lying to the guys and acting like I’m some sort of player. I despised being a phony, but I felt like I had to do it. Sometimes, I’m still unsure how I got away with all the lies since I’m usually so transparent.

“It’s good to see you with someone that makes you smile,” Lex says in a hushed tone.

I tilt my head to the side, trying to figure out if there is a deeper meaning to his statement.

“Did I not smile before?” I question with furrowed brows.

Lex tilts his head from side to side. “You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes. Whatever you have with that guy in the stands is the real thing, and it’s nice to see that side of you for once.”

Okay, so maybe I didn’t have everyone completely fooled. Lex clearly picked up on the fact that I wasn’t as engaged or as enthusiastic as I should be. He might not know it was all an act, but he clearly sees the difference in me. It feels amazing that I don’t have to pretend anymore because, for the first time, I’m not lying about being with someone. And this someone has my heart racing like never before.

I’m nervous about where things will go with Finn, but I’m also excited to take the journey. I obviously don’t know him that well yet, but there’s just something inside me telling me that he’s not going to break my heart. I really hope my intuition is right.