Chapter 13

13

ELLERY

I pulled Boaz closer, savoring the weight of his lithe body pressed against mine on the couch. My hands roamed over his smooth skin, which looked golden in the glow from the fireplace.

“God, you feel good,” I murmured against his mouth.

Boaz responded by grinding his hips into mine, eliciting a low groan from deep in my chest. His fingers tangled in my beard as he deepened the kiss.

I wanted to take my time with him, to show him how much he meant to me. Our encounters had been frantic and rough—not that I was complaining—but today, I yearned for more, something that matched this softness inside me, this tender affection that had me all weak for him.

As Boaz’s tongue danced with mine, I caressed his back tenderly. My touch was gentle, almost reverent, as I explored the planes of his body. I memorized every dip and curve, every plane and angle. He was so responsive, reacting to even the lightest brush of my fingers.

“Mmm, that feels nice.” Boaz arched into my touch.

I smiled against his lips. “Just nice? I must be losing my touch.”

Boaz laughed, the sound music to my ears. “You know what I mean. It’s different…but good different.”

His brown eyes met mine, filled with warmth and a hint of curiosity. I cupped his face in my hands, struck by how young and beautiful he looked in the firelight. My heart swelled with emotion.

How I wanted to tell him the truth. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t hold him back by making him feel obligated to stay or make him feel guilty for wanting or needing to go back. He had to decide on his own if he wanted to stay.

But I was determined to show him everything I couldn’t say with words. Maybe he’d sense how much I’d grown to care for him if I let my hands and body do the work.

“You’re special to me, Boaz,” I said softly.

I trailed my fingers down Boaz’s neck, savoring the softness of his skin. He shivered under my touch, his breath catching as I explored lower. I took my time, mapping every inch of his slender frame with reverent caresses.

“El,” Boaz whispered, his voice trembling. “What’s gotten into you?”

I smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to his collarbone. “Just enjoying you, sweetheart. Is that okay?”

He nodded, his dark curls bouncing. “More than okay.”

I continued my exploration, marveling at how Boaz seemed to sink into my exploration, reacting with soft sighs and sweet moans. This slow, tender lovemaking was new territory for us.

Boaz’s fingers tangled in my hair as I kissed his way down his chest. His body arched toward me, seeking more contact. I obliged, taking him into my mouth with deliberate slowness.

“Oh fuck,” Boaz gasped. “El, that’s…”

I hummed around him, relishing the taste and feel of him. My hands caressed his thighs, feeling the muscles quiver beneath my palms. I wanted to draw this out, to make Boaz feel cherished and desired.

When I pulled away, Boaz whimpered at the loss. His eyes were dark with need as I moved back up his body, pressing tender kisses along the way.

“You ready for me, sweetheart?” I murmured against his lips.

“Always ready for you…”

I reached for the lube, taking my time to prepare him thoroughly. Boaz writhed beneath me, his impatience clear in every movement. But I was determined to make this last, to show him how much he meant to me.

When I finally pushed into him, the world seemed to narrow to us two. Boaz’s eyes locked with mine, a silent understanding passing between us. I began to move, setting a slow, deep rhythm that had us both gasping.

Boaz panted, his fingers digging into my shoulders. “Fuck, that’s perfect. So good.”

I caught his lips and kissed him with all my heart, all my passion for him, pouring all my emotions into it. Our bodies moved together in perfect synchronicity, but every time Boaz wanted to speed up, I slowed down again.

I needed this to last. If this was our last time—and it might very well be—I wanted it to last as long as possible.

And so I took my time, sliding in and out of him with endless patience, building that pressure inside us bit by bit, holding back from sending us over the edge.

As our pleasure built, I whispered words of adoration against Boaz’s skin. How beautiful he was, how perfect he felt, how much I needed him. Boaz responded with breathy moans and whispered pleas for more.

My mouth kept finding his, never growing tired of his taste, the slide of his tongue against mine, the way he could play chase, and the sweet victory when he allowed me to catch him. I rocked into him until I reached the point of no return and couldn’t make it last any longer.

We came together on a shared cry, our mouths fused together even then, and I held Boaz close as we rode out the waves of pleasure, our bodies trembling in the aftermath.

When we got too chilly, even with the heat from the fire, I carried him up the stairs to the bathroom, where we showered together. The warm water cascaded over our bodies, washing away the evidence of our lovemaking but not the intimacy we’d shared.

Boaz tilted his head back into the spray. Water droplets clung to his dark curls, and I ran my fingers through them.

“You’re amazing,” I murmured, reaching for the soap. I lathered it between my hands before washing Boaz’s body, taking my time to appreciate every dip and curve.

Boaz’s eyes, warm and inviting as melted chocolate, met mine. “You know, I could get used to this kind of treatment.”

I should’ve responded with some quip, but I couldn’t. Instead, I said. “You’re worth it, sweetheart.”

For a moment, we stood there, eyes locked on each other, and what I saw in his almost made me reconsider. Should I tell him how I felt? It seemed he cared a lot for me too.

But then he looked away and grabbed the shampoo. He squirted a generous amount onto my head and started working it into my hair, his fingers massaging my scalp.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation. “Mmm, feels good.”

As we continued to wash each other, trading tender touches, I marveled at how natural this felt. Boaz fit into my life, into my space, like he’d always been meant to be here. The thought of losing him made my chest tighten painfully.

As I pulled him close for a kiss, I tried to push away my fears and focus on the present. On the warmth of Boaz’s body against mine, the softness of his lips, the way he melted into my embrace. Whatever the future held, I was determined to savor every moment we had together.

We finished the movie once we’d gotten dressed again, and then I started preparing our Christmas dinner. Since preparing a whole turkey or ham had felt too big for the two of us, I’d opted for a venison roast. I had prepared it the day before, and it had been tenderizing in the oven for an hour or two now. Time to make the mashed potatoes, gravy, and green beans.

“Need any help?” Boaz called from the living room.

“Nah, I got this. Just keep that fine ass of yours parked on the couch.”

I needed a moment to myself to get my act together before I started saying things I shouldn’t, telling him things he wasn’t ready to hear. Loving someone meant setting them free, which I was about to do with Boaz. If he felt the same way about me as I did him, he would come back to me.

Right?

Boaz was watching videos on his phone, and I heard him laugh, the sound sending a wave of affection through me. This was so different from my usual Christmases after retiring, which had been quiet, solitary affairs where I’d lose myself in my woodworking. Now, the cabin felt alive with Boaz’s presence.

Dinner had turned out really well, and we chatted easily while devouring our food. Boaz helped with the dishes and cleanup, and then we settled on the couch again.

I grabbed the thick, hand-knitted blanket draped over the back. The fire had died to a gentle crackle, casting a warm glow across the room. I settled into the corner of the couch, and Boaz curled against me, his head resting on my chest.

As the movie started—Boaz had requested Love, Actually this time—Boaz let out a happy sigh. “This is the best Christmas I’ve had in years.”

The warmth of his touch spread through me, settling in my chest. I turned my hand, intertwining our fingers. “Yeah,” I said softly, “mine too.”

Boaz’s fingers traced lazy patterns on my chest, his touch featherlight yet electrifying. I could feel the warmth of his breath against my skin, steady and relaxed. His curly hair tickled my chin as he nestled closer, eyes half-closed in contentment.

“This is nice,” he murmured, his voice a low hum that vibrated through me. “You’re like a big, sexy furnace.”

I chuckled, the tension in my chest easing. “Glad to be of service.”

His fingers continued their meandering path, circling my nipple before drifting down to trace the lines of my abs. It wasn’t sexual, not really, just…intimate. Like he was mapping my body, committing every dip and curve to memory.

“You know,” Boaz said, his words slightly slurred with drowsiness, “I could get used to this. You, me, crappy Christmas movies… It’s perfect.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Yeah?” I asked, trying to keep my voice casual. “Even with all the snow and quiet? Thought a city boy like you might get bored out here.”

He snorted, pinching my side. “Please. LA’s overrated. Too noisy, too busy. This…this is nice. Peaceful.”

I wanted to tell him. God, how I wanted to tell him he’d changed everything for me. That this cabin, once just a place to escape, now felt like home because he was in it. That the thought of him leaving after the holidays made my chest ache in a way I’d never experienced.

“I’m glad. I love… I love having you here.”

Boaz studied me for a few beats before settling back against my chest. “I love being here,” he murmured, his attention returning to the movie.

I tightened my arm around him, pulling him closer. The weight of unspoken words hung heavy in the air, but for now, I was content to hold him, to pretend this moment could last forever.

The credits began to roll, casting flickering shadows across the room. I glanced down at Boaz, taking in his relaxed features, the way his lashes fanned against his cheeks. “Ready for bed?” I asked softly.

He nodded, stretching like a cat before reluctantly pulling away from me. “Lead the way, handsome.”

We padded to the bedroom, the wooden floors cool beneath our feet. There was an easy silence between us, comfortable in a way I’d never experienced. Boaz disappeared into the bathroom while I turned down the bed, the rustle of sheets and the distant sound of running water creating a domestic atmosphere.

When he emerged, I couldn’t help but stare. His curls were tousled, his lips curved in a sleepy smile. He’d started sleeping in my T-shirts. They should look ridiculous on him, but instead, it made me go all soft inside.

We climbed into bed, our bodies finding each other. Boaz curled against me, his head tucked under my chin, our legs tangled together. I breathed in his scent—my soap on his skin, the lingering traces of our earlier lovemaking.

“Night, El,” he mumbled, already half-asleep.

I tightened my arms around him, savoring the feel of his warm body against mine. “Goodnight, Boaz,” I whispered, knowing sleep would be a long time coming for me.