25

Cedric followed his elder brother into the workshop, frowning as the sound coming from the cabin grew fainter and fainter, until eventually, he couldn"t hear them at all. Owen had tugged the door shut, which would certainly muffle the sound slightly, but he hadn"t realized quite how far away he was from her until the sound of her heartbeat had disappeared, followed by her voice. A glance at his brother told him that was the point—he intended on giving them the privacy his mate had asked for.

If it was Gareth he was with, the pair of them would have been pressed against the side of the cabin, listening in. Damn.

"Well, I"ll just go on ahead and get this out of the way," Cedric began as he crossed his arms over his broad chest. "I"m a big dumb bear."

He wasn"t expecting his brother to refute it, but the short answer was doing nothing for his confidence. "Yup."

The pair of them were quiet for a moment, and Cedric strained to listen in, only to have to accept that there would be no overhearing the conversation. Bethany had been excited about talking to her cousin and had nursed a little hope that it would be about him. Maybe, since Cordelia had experience with bears, she would be on his side of the whole thing, and push Bethany to let him in and trust him. If anyone could convince his stubborn headed woman of anything, it would be Cordelia.

Because he sure as shit wasn"t getting anywhere with her.

"Well, at least we know if Gareth ever finds someone to settle down with, he"ll be worse at this than the pair of us combined," Cedric muttered, causing Owen to start laughing. Cedric joined in, glad the pair of them could still joke around, even though everything felt tense.

He loved her. Loved her with every fiber of his being. And yet, he wasn"t making any progress in convincing her to love him back.

They both quieted their laughter as Cedric looked around the barn, noting the dresser Owen was working on. It didn"t actually look like he needed much help, beyond wanting someone to assist in sanding down the edges, but that was boring work, not work that needed two hands. It was better than standing around, of course, but they probably did need to talk.

Cedric needed his big brother"s advice, even if he wasn"t sure he was ready for what his brother would say.

Of course, he was going to have to be the one to speak first, because Owen would win the silent game every time. He wasn"t prone to speaking unless he had something to say, and until Cedric gave him a starting point, he would maintain that quiet.

Fuck it. He would just come out with it then.

"I"m in love with her." It was the first time he had ever really said it out loud, and it felt good to hear it coming from his own lips, rather than his mind. "I want everything with her. Want a future with her, cubs with her, a home with her, but she doesn"t think she can trust me. I didn"t tell her I was a bear, which, I don"t really know how I was supposed to tell her before then, but now she feels like she can"t trust me, so she"s keeping her distance. Says I have to earn her trust all over again. And I"m trying, but every time I try to take a step forward, we just end up having more sex, which is good, but we need to do more than fuck if I"m supposed to make her love me. How the hell do I make her love me?"

Cedric had picked up one of the pieces of sandpaper as he spoke, and begun feeling along the wood, looking for any rough spots. He eventually reached a place on the side where it wasn"t as smooth as the rest, and set to work, squatting down to do long strokes with the grain. It was all tedious work, but the movements had kept him talking, until he felt it was all out there.

Owen had joined him, now sitting on a stool, because he was the smarter bear of the two, clearly, and began sanding on the other side. He didn"t say anything, and Cedric knew his brother was thinking it through, and that the answer would be worth the wait.

Hopefully.

"Is she making you earn her trust back because you didn"t tell her you were a bear, or is she making you earn her trust because past experience has told her not to trust men at all?"

Cedric continued working as he thought about the question, not really sure how to answer. He had assumed, for quite a while, that he had earned her trust by returning each night, like he said he would, but she hadn"t been all that upset when he hadn"t shown up for a few days while preparing his cabin. Was that because she was so excited to see him, or was it because he hadn"t lost any trust with her as she had never held any expectations of him returning to begin with?

"Maybe you should stop trying to prove you"re worthy of trust, and instead show her that she can trust people in general, starting with you."

Cedric stood up from where he was squatting and looked around for a box or a crate, finding one that he thought would hold his weight before returning to sitting beside the dresser and resuming his sanding. He didn"t know what that meant or what the difference was, but it made him consider, for a moment, that maybe it wasn"t actually his fault that she didn"t trust him. At the very least, maybe he shouldn"t be so hard on himself.

"I told her how I feel in all but labeling it what it is," Cedric commented with a long sigh. "I wanted to say it, after this long fight we had about trust, but it felt like if I said it, she wouldn"t believe it. Makes me think sometimes that she doesn"t think she"s able to be loved, which is crazy, because she"s fucking perfect, but it"s like she doesn"t even think it"s possible I could love her. How can I even tell her I love her when she thinks it would immediately be a lie?"

"You don"t," Owen answered almost immediately. "If she"s not going to believe it, then there"s no point in saying it. You have to show it with your actions until she thinks it"s possible."

"I am," Cedric began to protest, only to be cut off.

"And not just in bed. It"s the little things, like making her breakfast, asking her what she"s reading, making space for her, and all those things that say you need her in your life."

"I am," Cedric insisted once more, thinking about everything he already did for her. "I make her breakfast, don"t expect her to pick up after me, cleaned and rearranged the house, all of that, but any time there"s something she needs, she doesn"t ask or wait for me to do it. I could set up the fire going for her, have the coffee made, all of that, and then by the time I"m back, she"s added logs and made another pot. I don"t ask her help for anything with the barn, but she comes out there with me, feeding the animals and mucking the stalls. She even repaired that damn board we couldn"t get to stay down. The only time she lets me do anything for her is in bed, but I am trying."

He felt vulnerable, talking about all the things he did for her with no progress being made, but he still forced himself to look across the dresser towards his brother as he spoke, only to see the other bear shaking his head slightly.

"So, she adds onto what you do, keeping the fire going, making sure you have a cup of coffee waiting on your return, even joining you on your work and spending time with you, and you think she isn"t open to being loved by you?"

Well, when Owen put it like that...

"Not going to warn me to guard my heart?" Cedric teased, although they both knew...

"Too late for that," Owen scoffed, shaking his head. "You"re already in too deep. But it sounds like you"re already doing everything right. All you need to do now is be patient. Give it time. I know me and Cordelia moved fast, but Winter isn"t going to be over in a few weeks. You"ve got a couple months to work this through. Be patient with her. She"ll realize how you feel about the same time she realizes how she feels about you."

If only it was that simple.

Give it time? They already had time, a few more weeks' time, until she ovulated again. He was hoping that she would love him before she got pregnant, so there would be no more talk of him not being involved with her, the pregnancy, and the cub, but if it was going to take all winter long, maybe he should wait to get her pregnant for another cycle or two.

He had a lot to think about, but the good thing about tedious work was, it gave a lot of time for thinking.

Owen would probably appreciate the silence.

Cedric knew he was supposed to be watching the pot on the stove, because the onions would easily burn if he stopped stirring the pot after overly stuffing the wood stove, but he couldn"t take his eyes off of Bethany. Clearly, something she had discussed with Cordelia had been important, because she had been quiet and distant ever since returning from Owen"s place. Something was on her mind, and she hadn"t pulled away from his kiss nor pulled away when he helped her tug her boots off, but she was distracted as she continued folding the clothes that had finished while they were gone, despite him insisting he could help her fold them after dinner.

She was doing tedious work while she was thinking hard about something, much as Cedric had in the workshop with Owen. He was desperate to know what had her thinking. Desperate to know if it was about him.

The scent of burning onions hit his nose, and Cedric cursed as he lifted the pot off the heat and resumed stirring, annoyed with himself. He knew the fire was burning too hot, and yet he had insisted on starting dinner anyways, not wanting Bethany to get hungry. It was his own damn fault.

"You okay?" she asked from the couch, and he sheepishly looked up at her and nodded.

"Yup. Just lost track of thought there for a minute."

"Mmm. I understand," she nodded, her attention now back on the shirt she was folding.

Fuck, to know what she was thinking about...

"Cordelia told me about your father being absent."

Cedric"s anger suddenly rose hotter than the stovetop as his attention snapped back to Bethany. That was what she was thinking about? His father? She wanted to know about his father? The fuck had Cordelia told her, and how dare Cordelia even bring that asshole up. That wasn"t hers to share. What had Owen even told Cordelia?

"You don"t need to know about him," Cedric snapped, slamming the pot down on the burner while still stirring. "None of your business."

"Woah, don"t get angry with me just because I asked a question," Bethany snapped back at him, throwing down the pair of pants she had been folding. "We agreed to learn about each other and be honest, and if you aren"t ready to talk to me about him then say that, but don"t get mad at me about it. If you"re angry with your father, then that"s understandable, but I don"t know anything about him other than Cordelia accusing me of making you be like your father, and because I didn"t know about him, she then wouldn"t tell me anything else. Look at that, more things being kept from me, but I didn"t accuse you because you never mentioned him. Obviously this is a sore subject for you, but I don"t deserve your anger over something you haven"t told me about."

Cedric was still stirring the onions, knowing they would burn otherwise, but as she finished speaking, he reconsidered what he was doing and took the pot off the stove entirely, setting it on a dry towel. He had stiffened at her words and didn"t need to burn himself because he was too angry to think straight, but now that he was facing her and considering her words, he deflated a little.

He didn"t know why he had lashed out at her, and she was right. They had agreed to be honest with each other and to learn about one another. If Cordelia hadn"t told her anything, beyond accusing her of turning him into his father, which she was, then...

She was right. She didn"t know anything about the man, and he"d had no plans to share that detail of his life with her. That was the past, and she was his future, but maybe she should know. Maybe she needed to know, so she could understand what she was asking him in not wanting him to be part of their child"s life. Maybe this was how they continued to build trust, and she could see why he wouldn"t be a man who left, like all the others.

"Fuck, you"re right," he cursed, hanging his head a little as he stepped out of the kitchen and braced his hands on the back of the couch. The piece of furniture was still between them, but just being closer to her already made him feel better. "I don"t even know why I"m angry. I don"t get angry about him anymore, but... he"s not part of my life. I don"t like thinking about him. Too many unanswered questions, but if Cordelia accused you of that, then... I"ll tell you the truth."

Bethany nodded her head while picking up the completed laundry and setting it on the floor, then tossed the unfolded laundry into the basket and sat on the couch. She patted beside her, and he moved around to sit on the couch, close enough he could grab her hand and squeeze it, but still keeping some distance between her.

"Honestly, there"s not much to tell, because there"s not much I know," he began, wanting to get it all out in one go so they didn"t have to talk about the man again. "Bears in the wild, they find a mate, have at it, then move on. The mothers raise the cubs until they"re old enough to go out on their own, and that"s all there is to it. Shifters are the same. My father came around, my mother had Owen, and a few years later, he showed up again and she got pregnant with me and Gareth. He brought Owen out this way that summer, when she was pregnant, and he spent the summer teaching Owen how to be a bear, and in the fall, he brought Owen home, and didn"t come back. We don"t know anything about him, don"t know his name, nothing. Our mom, she never talked about him again, just said this was how bears were, and she was happy to have three cubs from him."

Bethany had begun stroking the back of his hand with her thumb while he spoke, and he had drawn comfort from the soothing gesture, but now he felt like she was too far away from him. He pulled his hand from hers and then wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her against his side. Her head rested on his shoulder while her other hand reached over to rest on his chest, and he grabbed it with his free hand, holding it tight.

"So, Cordelia was right," Bethany whispered. She was sad, he could tell, both from her voice and from the scent she was putting off. "If we do this, and I don"t let you be involved, I"m turning you into your father."

"No," he insisted, squeezing her hand. "I"m not like him. I"ll never be like him. He chose to leave, but the only way I won"t be a part of your life, and the cub"s, is if you tell me to leave, because otherwise, I want it all. I want to change every diaper, help them with their first steps, read all the books, and see every bedtime. Owen was there for us, every step of the way, so I know what it"s like to have someone there. I won"t be like him. Not unless I can"t prove to you I"m a man you want to raise a child with."

There was more to it, and the desire to confess that he wanted everything with her as well. Every kiss, every morning, every chore and task, every hard day and good. He wanted everything with her.

But if all he could have was the joy in raising a child with her, he would take it, and be grateful to be allowed that much.

"I"ll be a better father than my own. I hope I get the chance to prove that."

Bethany was still sad, but there was another scent coming from her as well, one he couldn"t quite place. Her heartbeat was slowing as well, and she lifted her head from his shoulder, so he turned and looked down at her. She surprised him with a soft kiss on the lips, then pulled away with a tiny smile on her lips.

Something in her smile, it reminded him of the first time he took her into the barn. He wanted to ask what it meant, but he knew he would have to figure that out for himself.

"I think you would be an amazing father," she confessed, and kissed him again before settling her head back on his shoulder, leaving him stunned.

They eventually shared a stew for dinner with slightly burnt onions, but she didn"t complain, and together, they finished folding the laundry and putting it away. He had showered alone, wanting the sawdust off of him before he climbed into bed, and when he finally did, he knew he wouldn"t be able to sleep for a long time.

Those words, her confession, meant more to him than if she had confessed her love for him, and left him staring up at the ceiling for hours.

She thought he would make an amazing father.

Did that mean she trusted him? Did she want him involved?

Time, Owen had warned him. Time and patience were what he needed to win her over.

It seemed like his brother really did know how to fix this.