11. Chapter 11

Kendra

I stare at the ceiling, trying to stay awake when the bed lures me to dreamland. I think I should tell Grihul what's on my mind. He may be a nice being, but... things are moving a bit too fast, and I got uncomfortable.

I rub my temple when I'm falling asleep countless times.

Where's he? He should be done with the shower already.

My limbs are heavy after the sex with him. Is he the one exhausting me? Or am I just thinking too hard that I'm tiring myself out?

There's still no sign of him... Maybe he left me alone, which he said he would. But at the same time, I want him here with me.

Or do I?

He can hold me, and his hugs are pretty good, but if he is here, I can't think straight.

I get out of bed, picking up my police uniform. I don't think he will have clothes that fit me. His trousers are probably too large, and his T-shirt will have extra sleeves for the two extra arms that I don't have.

Maybe I should take a shower too, but I don't know where the bathroom is.

I'm drenched with sweat and smell like crap. Fuck... What have I done?

He has already seen me naked anyway. I guess he won't mind if I walk around naked as long as I don't mind that myself. I can't stand getting back into my clothes dirty.

I shiver at the thought, and my throat tightens. I was the one swallowing his cum, and I was the one sucking his cock.

Do I want him or do I not, even when it's just for sex?

I get out of the room and head to the driving dashboard. He can't still be in the shower.

There are legs on the driving dashboard. Looks like Grihul is fast asleep. His arms are folded. He has a pretty handsome smile.

No, he is annoying, not handsome.

He has a sleepy smile on his face, which annoys me. How can he fall asleep on his own, thinking that I'd be fine falling asleep without taking a shower first? He should have told me where the bathroom is.

Anyway, even though I hate him, I don't feel evil enough to wake him. I interrupted his sleep earlier, mistaking him for the plush bear, which he said I did, but I didn't remember. Maybe that didn't happen, and he was just looking for an excuse to get his cock into me.

His thick and huge cock.

The thought of that thing lights a fire in me again. How did I manage to take him in without dying?

He pounds me hard, too.

I grit my teeth, shaking my head to get the thought out of my head. It doesn't matter, he and I aren't going to meet again.

Somehow, that thought makes my gut twitch. But that's the case, no? After the storm is over, he will be gone. He doesn't even live on this planet.

I can find the bathroom myself. It can't be that hard. We aren't flying in space. Nothing bad can happen if I open the wrong door.

Not to mention the bathroom should be nearby.

I stare at Grihul for another moment before I leave the driving dashboard. Are all kot'olls muscular and big on default? Or do they still have to train for that physique?

There are a few kot'olls in the department too, they are strong fighters, except I think humans are smarter.

I push open doors as I go down the corridor. There aren't a lot, and none is the bathroom. There's an office room with only an empty desk. A bit further down is the door for the kitchen. There's another door for storage, which isn't useful either.

Wait...

There's something shimmering on the floor. Maybe that's from Grihul and his slippers freshly out of the bathroom.

I get into the bathroom, letting out a breath as the door closes behind me.

It really isn't Grihul's fault. I'm just fed up with beings bigger than me that look intimidating. I'm a police officer so that doesn't always bother me when I fight crime. But when I don't have a gun or anything that will put me equal to those big ones... It doesn't sit well with me.

I hang my clothes on the hook behind the door before I get into the shower. It is already dry. Grihul has been done with his shower for long.

Part of me misses his gaze on me, even though I don't have to care about that at all.

Warm water comes down on me, washing away the soreness in my limbs and... how sweaty I was.

Grihul had me in his arms and he pounded me so hard that... I almost came from the pleasure, but I stopped him before I got my release.

I rub my pussy when I mean to get the body wash on me. I can almost feel his heat and his touches lingering on my body.

The time with him was mostly pleasant, but...

Maybe it didn't sit well with him, either. He wouldn't want to keep fucking me when I wasn't absolutely on board with that idea, which is respectable.

I probably edged him so hard when he decided to pull out of me. But I sucked him and got him off, so I guess I didn't owe him, not that I would have otherwise. It just felt like... it would be mean if I left him hanging.

I lick my lips. His salty, hot cock wasn't that bad. He rubbed my wall so hard that... Maybe I should've let him do whatever he wanted. He seemed to know what he was doing.

There's no point though. It's just a failed hook-up.

I get done with the body wash, rolling my eyes at myself. I should have washed my hair first...

It's all Grihul's fault. I could only think about my pussy and thus...

I toss shampoo to my hair, getting done with the business. At least I'll be fresh and clean after this.

The warm water is good. The rustling sound of water calms me. I'm on a foreign spaceship, but the sound of water feels like home. Water is water and sounds almost the same, regardless.

Someone's knocking. I flinch and wrap my arms around my body.

Did I hear a thing? Who's... I suppose it's Grihul.

"Kendra! Are you inside?" He hammers at the door. "Where are you?"

"I'm taking a shower! I'm not your prisoner!" My heart hammers in my chest. Even though he saw my naked body already, I don't want him here.

"Hey! I was just worried when I didn't see you in the room."

Ah... Maybe it has to do with how we fought over the bed. "I'll be back there soon!"

"Okay... Talk to me when you're ready or when you want to. I'll be in the driving seat."

"Okay." I doubt that'll happen soon. I'm not sure whether I'm ever going to be ready. Worse, it means that the power is still down. Is the weather that bad outside? So bad that the team can't even work at all? I think this place is right under the hospitals on the priority list.

I make sure I've washed away all body wash and shampoo before I turn the water off. I'm dripping water, but the motivation to finish my shower is gone. I should dry myself before I catch a cold.

It's just a button away, but I don't want to do that.

What's wrong with me? Can I also blame this on Grihul?

He interrupted my shower, so I guess it's still his fault.

Regardless, I take a breath, pressing the button for the blow dryer. Lucky for me, the operation of this spaceship is almost the same as what I used to have.

A warm wind comes from above, almost like the shower water itself. I run my fingers through my hair, spreading them so it will dry quicker.

It doesn't take long before I'm good to go. All I have to do is put on clothes, then I can be back on the bed, fresh and clean.

But my arms are heavy, and I don't want to move. Is something wrong with me?

I feel my forehead. It isn't burning or even hot. Maybe I'm just tired.

"Grihul..." I know he won't hear me, but...

My vision blurs. I rub my eyes to find tears. I...

Where's he when I kind of want him around?

"Grihul...?" My voice is a mere murmur. He should be at the dashboard, so he won't hear me at all. He won't even be able to hear me if he is right outside of the door. I'm just too tired to do anything.

Someone knocks on the door. I flinch and stare at the door. The misty glass blocks the door from my sight, but it is over there and...

There's no way he can hear me, right?

He knocks again. "Are you fine? Talk to me."

I open my mouth, but I can't get the words out of me.

The door slides open and he comes in. "What's happening?"

He pushes the glass door of the showering area to the side. I'm on the floor. I don't feel like standing and I almost don't realize I slid down onto the floor.

"Kendra..."

"Carry me to the bed."

"Okay." He picks me up with two of his muscular arms, then he feels my forehead with the other. "What happened? Are you sick?"

I don't want to be naked, but I don't want to care about that now. Something feels empty inside me. More tears surge in me. I roll around in his arms, snuggling into his chest. "Shut up."

He lets out a soft sigh, pats my side, and goes down the corridor, probably heading to the bedroom. "I hope you're fine. You're scaring me."

I wrap my arms around him, not knowing what to say. It feels like I got hit in the gut, even though no one hit me. "Shut up." I don't to be mean to Grihul, but I can't make out other words. I wish I knew what's wrong with me too.

We enter the bedroom. He puts me on the bed. "Here you go."

I let go of him and end up staring at the ceiling once again. I can melt into the bed and... wish I didn't exist.

He remains by my side, watching me. "So... Do you want me here? Should I bring you water?"

"Water, yes."

"Okay." He turns to the door.

"Wait."

"Yes?"

"You'll be back, right?"

"Of course. I'm getting you water."

"Okay. You have to be back."

He frowns and stares at me for another moment before he heads out of the room.

I take a breath, trying to calm myself, but my heart is still racing. Now, it feels like I have too much energy and I want to be doing something. Say... pacing around in the room.

But... My body and my mind don't agree with each other. I'm stuck here with my racing mind that refuses to slow even for a second.

Maybe I should tell Grihul to hold me, but he and I...

Fuck... I must look like a crazy being to him. I'm just wild all the time, doing stupid and confusing things...

It doesn't take long before Grihul is back with a plastic cup of water. He puts it on the bedside table. "How are you feeling?"

I sit up and take the cup, gulping down the cold water. "I'm so sorry. I've been... tough to deal with."

He sits by my side. "Maybe there's something in your head. Maybe work is stressful. Did your team catch the robbers?"

I nod. "Yes, we managed." Is that the reason I'm stressed? Or does that even have to do with work? Or maybe I'm just crazy? "It feels like... I'm scared of something."

"Like... Me? It feels like you hate me, but at the same time, you're the one who wanted to—"

I slap my hand over his mouth to stop him from talking. I don't need a reminder of that. I silently sigh, hoping I wasn't too forceful with it and ended up like I meant to slap him. "Hush..."

He rolls his eyes and folds his arms, saying nothing this time around.

I put the cup back on the bedside table before I have a chance to spill the water. "I don't understand myself."

"Maybe you don't like bigger beings." He flexes his arms. "And these arms annoy you."

I put my hand on his biceps, stroking him. "These are surely strong arms."

He smirks. "Indeed. They give good hugs."

Do I ask for hugs?

There's nothing else for us to do anyway, so... "Will you hold me?"

"Yes, I can do that for sure."

I used to think that bigger beings don't really care about me. Or maybe it has nothing to do with size, it's just... no one will care about me. But... There's a gentleness in Grihul's eyes that pulls me in. Maybe he is a big guy, but he seems to be nice.

He moves closer to me and spreads his arms. "Are you sure? Are you going to kick my balls soon?"

"If you don't hold me, I'll kick you."

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me over. He still has two arms left, which is so unfair. He pats my head and strokes my side, all while he holds me. "I'm here for you, even though I don't understand what's happening."

"Why did you show up in the bathroom?"

"Because..." He muses, seemingly confused. "I'm not sure. I was at the dashboard, dozing off, but somehow, it felt like I should check on you, so I did just that. I suppose I arrived at the right time."

"Why?"

He shrugs. "As if I have a clue."

Ha, I just know he is still the annoying guy.

But I lean on him, enjoying his warmth. It's a lot better than being on my own. Maybe something's wrong after we fucked each other. He must have done something with me with his thick cock.

Now, the fire seems to come back, but I still haven't figured out what's wrong with me or... what's wrong with everything.

"Grihul... I really am sorry. I've been rude to you and making you do things for me."

He pats my side without saying a thing. I glance at him. He is deep in thought with a scowl. I hope he isn't mad at me, but maybe he is, and he gets to be.

I sigh. "I... Maybe you're right. I don't even know why I was hired when... I feel so dumb at times, almost as if I can't control myself."

"It's normal to feel threatened around beings that are bigger than you. It's a biology thing."

"I hate that. Feels like I'm not being fair to bigger ones."

He shrugs. "I mean, it is what it is. Maybe you being police makes it worse. I don't expect you'll be dealing with nice beings all the time outside of your colleagues."

"Does this mean I'm not fit as police?" My heart skips a beat at that. Why am I asking him? We barely met.

I know why I was hired. I'm observant and good at figuring out what happened. They surely didn't hire me because I'm good at combat. I'm decent with my shooting skills, but just the size and strength difference mean that I'm not going to be of much use in the fight scenes.

Yet...

I glance at Grihul again. Maybe I'm not good enough. I fought hard in the training and managed, but...

I flinch when his thumb finds its way to my cheek.

He whispers. "You're crying, huh?"

"I guess..." I blink, letting a few more tears run down my cheek. "Maybe I—"

A siren goes off. I almost jump off the bed, reaching to my waist for my gun.

Grihul stands with a scowl. "It's the sensor. Something is getting close to us."

"Are they here to fix the power?"

"Get dressed."

"Oh! Fuck!" I hurry to the bathroom, where my clothes should sit. That comes without a warning, huh?