1. Chapter 1

Grihul

It has been a while since I was home. I pull my coat tighter as I hurry through the road. It is snowing, and I hate it. Father and Mother keep this place as organized as they can. There are signs of snow-blowing robots cleaning the road, but snow is piling up again.

The city doesn't even care to treat me nicer when I'm not here often. That's such a bummer.

The house is well lit. Compared to the cold and dark streets, it is a lot more inviting. I let out a breath, only for it to turn into mist almost at once. If I breathe out hard enough, maybe I can create some snow out of that.

Speaking of which, I'm not even sure who's at home. Father and Mother, that's for sure, but the others...

Anyway, I'll know when I get inside. My stomach rumbles, urging me to speed up. I wriggle the fingers of my upper pair of arms, which are in gloves. I can't even put them in my pockets. The stupid destination I went to didn't have clothes that would fit a kot'oll, so... At least I only needed a new pair of jeans, and I can live with that.

I knock on the door, not wanting to take out the keys. If I could keep my two lower hands inside my pocket, I'd keep it that way.

The door squeaks and opens. It is Mother. A smile finds its way to my face before I give that thought. Sometimes, I go weeks or even months without seeing a being. This... is actually great.

"Grihul! I miss you so much." She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug. Even though I'm a strong and big male kot'oll, she still seems to be squeezing me flat.

I hug her back. I was going to say something, but I open my mouth and my voice cracks. Fuck... I haven't talked to anyone for a bit too long, and that's not fun.

I clear my throat and try again. "I miss you too."

She smiles, but there's concern in her eyes. She touches my cheek as if trying to make sure I'm fine. "It's okay. All good."

She can be saying it to me, or telling that to herself as she... makes sure I'm fine.

Father's voice comes from inside the house. "Just come in already! It's cold outside."

Mother takes my wrist and ushers me into the house. I pat the snow off me and take off my coat. Father shouts from the kitchen. "Get comfortable. Take a shower or something. You stink."

I grunt and head to my room without giving an answer. He isn't even in the living room, and I can't be stinking that badly. I may or not have taken a bath for a while, but I didn't sweat a ton, if any, during my time on the spaceship heading home. It is snowing here. I didn't sweat on the few steps home.

Mother's voice comes behind me. "Now that's not very welcoming." Her voice fades as she seemingly heads to the kitchen where Father is.

I shrug as I go upstairs to my own room. Father has always been like that. I don't even bother giving him a response. It's not that he doesn't care about us, he just... doesn't always say things the way he meant.

Telke has never liked that and, to be honest, Father has never liked what Telke loved, so...

I shrug. That's not my problem, and I don't plan to make their problem mine.

Telke is with that human female now, as long as he is happy. That's all I care about.

I open the wardrobe, taking in my own scent. It has been a while since I was here, so... Is it weird to feel like a stranger in my own house?

At least I still remember where my clothes are.

Maybe I should shower more so I don't stink.

I sniff myself. I still don't think I stink.

On the spaceship, most of the time, if not always, I'm on my own. No one cares whether I stink or not. They aren't even there and thus don't get to care.

I head to the bathroom, testing the hot water to make sure that works.

The shower water comes down like it's raining. I spread my arms to the side, enjoying the warmth. Father doesn't understand how the shower facility on the spaceship sucks. If it's like home, I'd shower more.

Actually, I do shower when I have to meet with other beings, but I'm heading home, so I skipped that.

Driving transport ships to move cargo from planet to planet means that I don't meet a living being for the period I'm in the space. If I travel to remote places, maybe the company will send a fleet instead of just me, in case we run into bandits. But apparently, they don't care enough about the cargo. It's nothing expensive anyway. And I fly along popular trading route. No bandit will attack such an exposed and well-monitored path.

I press the button for shampoo and body wash. They conveniently drop on my head and my body from the dispensers on the ceiling. I rub them on my body and my hair. It is always great to be at home.

I tap the button for the water again, closing my eyes as its warmth rushes through me. It has been a while since a shower feels so good. If I had more patience or more time before dinner, I'd use the bathing tub. But for now, a shower will suffice.

After I clean myself, and before Father complains, I dry myself and put on fresh clothes. I stroke my beard as I look at myself in the mirror. Maybe it is time for a haircut. I feel my hair. Maybe later. Longer hair won't kill me anyway.

I head down the stairs again in my home clothes. A loose T-shirt and sweatpants suit me better. On the spaceship, I can get away with wearing boxers, which isn't bad, but feels like I've never gotten out of bed.

Speaking of which, it has been so long since I could sleep in a real bed.

I cover my mouth as I yawn. The chair at the driving dashboard on the spaceship can be adjusted to be flat, but that's different from a bed.

My stomach rumbles even more when there's already a scent of food in the living room. I'm starving for nice food. Mother always knows how to make the perfect food. Sometimes I wonder how Mother can make the best food while Dren, one of my brothers, can't make something better, even though he practiced under a famous chef and is a chef himself.

Maybe Mother knows magic.

Mother is setting the table, so I go over to help. She says, "Efaze should be back soon."

"Oh, he's back? I thought he'd be in the store."

Mother shakes her head. "Not today. You must have forgotten about the weekly break."

I give a wry smile. "I suppose. I don't even remember what day of the week this is."

She lets out a soft sigh. "But you know the date, right?"

I nod. "Yeah, that's the only thing that matters to me." I set up the fork and spoon as Father puts a large bowl of smashed vegetables on the table. Mother makes the best gravy. Just by looking at the orange, which may as well be golden, sauce, I don't want to wait for Efaze.

Mother says, "We asked whether Telke would be back since you're here, but he has a tournament going at this moment, so he can't come."

Father scuffs. "Because of silly floatball, like always."

Mother scowls at him. "Come on... It's a school event. He's the coach, he has to be there."

Father rolls his eyes and gets back to the kitchen.

I guess Telke won't be upset over missing dinner with us. He'd miss out on the food, but I doubt he will ever miss Father's hate toward floatball. Even if he didn't have the floatball tournament with the school team, he may still come up with some excuses so he doesn't have to be here.

I ask, "How's he been doing after the injury?"

Mother lets out a soft sigh. "I suppose he is fine. This is a sigh at how he didn't even think about himself. He's always a nice kid and grows up to be a big-hearted male."

That's not wrong. Telke is the talkative one among us, the kids, but only when Father isn't around.

The doorbell rings, so I go over to open the door.

Efaze comes in with a scarf on his neck, covering his nose, leaving almost nothing out there in the wind. I chuckle. "A red hat, huh?"

He grunts as he hangs his coat and takes off the hat. "Whatever, I don't care, as long as it keeps the snow off my head."

"This is supposed to be your rest day."

"It is. But it doesn't mean I don't work."

I shrug and get inside, closing the door. Efaze is good and easy to get along with. Telke never stops talking, and I'd find the need to give some kind of response, but with Efaze, that's not needed.

Efaze heads to the table, hugs Mother, and moves on to the kitchen to greet Father.

I take a seat at the table now that it is ready. Efaze and the rest of the family join me soon enough. The mashed vegetables are waiting for me, and so are the roasted ribs. I can tear through the food in no time.

Father chuckles. "Grihul, it looks like you haven't eaten for ages."

"It's different. Mother makes the best food."

He nods. "You aren't wrong. I suppose there isn't anything good on your spaceship."

"Won't die and won't starve." I shrug. I need Father to start distributing the food already, otherwise, I can't even start.

Efaze remains quiet, seemingly deep in thought. Maybe he's dragging the passage of time so he won't have to be back at work tomorrow. I hate a job that has to deal with other beings, thus being a long-distance driver is as perfect as it could be. There is no talking needed past understanding order and reporting issues if needed. All of those can be done with messages and emails, even better for me.

Father stands and cuts the ribs with a big knife. "Your mother and I hoped we could have everyone here since you're home for a bit, but that didn't happen, sadly. You guys all have your own lives now."

Mother says, "Everyone's work gets in the way. But I don't blame them. When we used to operate the store together, we didn't get to have dinner or even meals together a lot, too."

Father nods. "You're right." He forks the juiciest rib for Mother, then he gives Efaze his portion. I stare as I wait for mine. At least there aren't a lot of us here and my wait will soon be over.

The rib on my plate is roasted to perfection with the grease shimmering beneath the lights of the dining room. When Father takes a seat, I pick up the rib.

Efaze lifts an eyebrow at me almost at once.

What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?

Efaze forks up his rib and takes a bite.

Hm... Who eats a rib with a fork? That's boring.

I ignore him and keep going with my hands. The meat almost falls off the bone. The spicy and sweet sauce coats the meat, and the combo almost melts in my mouth. If there's one thing I don't like about my job, it's that I don't get to enjoy nice food like this. I'm usually home only a few days a month, which is not enough in terms of food, not at all.

Father says, "I guess you're used to eating on the spaceship on your own and no one is watching."

I swallow the meat. "That's how you devour ribs, though."

Mother chuckles. "Just enjoy the food. I still remember the time when all of you fought for food, holding some in every single hand."

Ah... The good old days when we were a lot younger and would hurry to stuff our faces to eat the most. Young kot'olls eat a ton, not to mention we are all males and we were crazy back then.

Father takes a bite of his food before he lets out a breath. "Time flies. I still remember the day when we switched you to using utensils and limiting everyone to one fork and one spoon, no hands."

I take another rib from the plate in the center. "But some food should be enjoyed with hands."

Father muses and nods. "Not wrong."

It is rare for Father to agree with any one of us. He always listens to Mother, and that's all about it. Mother is nice. Everyone in the family loves her.

We sink into a comfortable silence as each of us busy ourselves with food. This is the best time during a meal.

I lick my fingers clean of sauce before I wash my hands in the kitchen. The mashed vegetables are still there waiting for me. We add the sauce of the day to the vegetables, which will make it even better.

The mashed vegetables include potatoes, carrots, and a few other kinds of food, making for a nice mix of crunchy and soft, with a mushy feeling. if the roasted ribs are like a straight punch to the tastebuds, the mashed vegetables are the warm hug.

Mother says, "How's work, Grihul?"

"Um... Good." I've already done all the talking I've ever done in the month by now. So...

She lets out a soft sigh. "You're alone most of the time, huh?"

I nod. That's pretty much one of the qualities required to perform the job well — liking limited interaction with other beings, or at least tolerating that.

She continues. "Then you won't have a lot of chances to get to know... others."

I narrow my eyes. Is that hinting at... I should find a mate?

It's Telke's fault. Now that he has a mate, Mother, and maybe also Father, is going to think that I should get a mate, too.

I glance at Efaze. He is older than me, and he hasn't found his mate. Why am I the one getting asked?

To be honest, I don't even care. I'm doing pretty well on my own, so...

Father chuckles. "Look at him. Sure takes a bit of work."

I resist the urge to say something, which isn't that hard anyway. I'm not interested in commenting on that.

That time we had dinner with Telke and his mate, Winnie, probably. It was quite something. They were clearly happy together, but I'm not sure whether I want that for myself.

Efaze pretends to hear nothing. I hope I can do that too.