Epilogue

RYAN

One year later

"Tell me again," Logan insisted in the car ride over to the center, and Ryan laughed.

"I got straight As in all my classes. And I've been given a dean's scholarship for the rest of the program, as long as I keep my grades up."

Logan leaned over and kissed him. "I have no doubt. You never have trouble keeping me up."

Ryan's lips curved against Logan's. "You're cute. And you have a dirty mind."

"And you love it." Logan smirked. "But seriously, Ry. I am so fucking proud of you, I could burst." His eyes glowed. "And I love you. So damn much."

"I love you too. And you know how much of this is because of your support." Ryan stopped at Logan shaking his head. "What?"

"Don't think that. Yeah, I supported you, but this is your hard work. All those late nights studying and working full-time…you're an inspiration."

His throat closed up. "I just wanted to do something better."

The car pulled up in front of the Keith Hart Community Center, where they were all meeting to have a little celebration for Ryan completing his first year. Before they walked inside, Logan put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm so in awe of what you've accomplished for yourself. Do you know how strong you are? I look at you and think, how am I so lucky that someone who has so much to give, chose me to share his life with?"

Ryan hugged him. "I know you don't like hearing it, but your faith in me gave me that strength. It was knowing I had your love that pushed me through the long nights. You holding me every night, telling me I could do it, made me believe it."

Logan cupped his face. "So what you're saying is we're a good team."

Ryan kissed him. "The best."

Once inside, Wanda rushed up to greet him with a hug and kiss. "I knew you could do it. And you'll have a place here once you graduate. You and Todd can do such good things for the kids."

"Speaking of my brother," Logan said, scanning the room. "Is he here?"

"Right behind you, little bro."

They turned, and Ryan's heart still sang with happiness as Todd and Logan hugged. Ryan greeted Ariella with a kiss.

"How're you doing?"

"I'm great. Congratulations. And you should really think about getting into the school system and becoming a guidance counselor. Talk to Todd about it."

He'd been giving it some thought. "I might. But first I have to graduate."

"Uncle Logan, Uncle Logan." Charlie tapped his arm. "They're going to do a play at school, and it's all about knights, and I'm playing King Arthur."

"You are, huh?" Logan picked up the little boy and swung him until he shrieked. "I think I should show you how I used to beat your father at sword fighting."

"All lies," Todd insisted. "Prepare to be beaten."

Ryan watched Logan and Todd pretend-fight for a moment, then spotted Simon, Oliver, and Alexandra. "Hi. Thanks for coming."

"Wouldn't miss it." Simon clapped his shoulder. "Congratulations."

Alexandra hugged him, and Oliver shook his hand. "What a great year you've had," Oliver said, his normally solemn expression bright. "Doing so well your first year while working full-time at the clinic and helping here." A burst of laughter from Todd and Logan as they played with Charlie drew their attention. "And thank you for saving Logan."

His brow furrowed. "Saving him? I thought I caused him trouble."

"At first you did," Simon stated. Ryan had always appreciated his blunt honesty and his unwavering friendship with Logan. "But Logan always had your back, and even when we weren't quite sure if he was doing the right thing, he was. I owe you an apology. I'm sorry I doubted you. I thought you were only out to take from Logan." Simon's smile warmed his eyes. "But I see you've given him so much."

"I'd give him the world."

"Give who the world?" Strong arms slipped around his waist.

Ryan leaned into his broad chest. "Who do you think?"

"I have you in my arms. That's my world."

Simon groaned. "God, I think I liked you better when you were obnoxious."

"Don't worry, Si." Ryan snickered. "Logan hasn't lost his touch."

"Thank you." Logan's voice dropped to a murmur. "Especially when I'm touching you."

"Oh brother, maybe Simon is right."

Logan chuckled. "Why is everyone so serious? This is a celebration." Logan kissed his ear. "I have some sparkling apple juice for the toast."

"The truth is, I was apologizing to Ryan," Simon confessed, and Logan's grip tightened.

"For what?" Logan demanded.

"I realized all this time had passed and I'd yet to say I was sorry for being so negative toward him and your relationship in the beginning. I've never seen you so happy, and that's all we ever wanted for you."

"I appreciate that, Si," Logan said quietly.

"I do as well." Ryan held out his hand, and Simon gripped it. "We're not the same people we were even a year ago. People can change."

More people entered, and Ryan waved to Jordan and Luke, Tash and Brandon, and Ash and Drew. Everyone swarmed him with their congratulations. His circle became complete when Emerson showed up with his boyfriend, Harvey. They waved to him but waited near the door.

"I'll be right back." He joined his friends. "Hey, guys, thanks for coming."

They each gave him a quick hug. Harvey had called Emerson after they'd met at Whole Foods, and after a few dates, they'd discovered neither was interested in a sexual relationship. After six months, Harvey moved into Emerson's apartment, and they were crazy in love. Ryan liked Harvey and thought the two made a great couple.

"We wouldn't miss it." Emerson's obvious happiness made Ryan happy.

Harvey nodded and squeezed Emerson's hand. "Yeah. I think it's great, Ryan. Congratulations. I know it's not easy to return to school after so many years. I see lots of people try and fail. But Emerson knew you wouldn't." Harvey was a professor of Human Sexual Behavior, and the first time the four of them met, Logan had asked why an asexual person would teach a course on sexuality. Harvey's eyes had twinkled. "Those who can, do. Those who can't—or have no desire to—teach."

Ryan pointed at the tables filled with food. "Please have something to eat and drink. Everyone from the clinic is here."

He watched as the two men greeted Jordan and Luke.

Tash drew him aside. "How are you feeling? It can be a little overwhelming, I imagine."

"It is, but in a good way. I'm feeling so positive these days, and it took me some time to realize that's normal and not an aberration."

"It's an incredible accomplishment when you look at where you were only a few short years ago. I'm very proud of you, and I'm so happy you're continuing therapy."

Ryan had decided that being in therapy wasn't weak but a sign of strength. "I know this is only the beginning. I'm ready to see it through."

From the corner of his eye, he watched as Noah and his husband spoke to Logan and Todd. "Excuse me, I want to say hi to Noah and Oren."

"There's the man of the hour. Congratulations, Ryan. I never doubted you for a moment. You are the most determined person I've ever met."

"Speaking of fresh starts," Logan interrupted. "I was wondering, Noah, if you had time in your schedule to fit Todd and myself in." He gazed at Todd, who nodded and put a hand on his shoulder. "I think we need some healing of our own."

Noah's eyes grew tender. "I was so thrilled when you found Todd, but I can only imagine the trauma you've both endured since then. I was hoping you'd reach out, and whenever you want me, I'm available. Evenings are good, since Oren has been drafted to uncle duty."

Noah's husband, Oren, took his hand. "I've been helping my sister and her husband with their babies. Ilana and Yair just had twins, and my parents aren't up to helping much—although you didn't hear me say that—so I've been doing what I can."

Noah kissed his cheek. "They're adorable, and it's only made us more excited to start a family of our own."

Ryan noticed Logan's thoughtful face and his quick glance at Charlie, who was hanging out with his mother and Alexandra. Was Logan thinking of children? That was a step Ryan had never contemplated, and he decided to broach the subject later that night when they returned home.

* * *

It wasn't until they'd undressed for bed and lay wrapped in each other's arms, Logan stroking his back, that he decided to bring it up again.

"Can I ask you something?"

Logan kissed his ear. "Ask away, but I can't promise I'll answer. I'm dying for you." He nipped at the dip where Ryan's neck met his shoulder. "I want to make love to my hot grad student."

Ryan wiggled away from him. "I'm serious."

Logan sat up, face flushed but eyes wary. "Oookay. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just…" He took a deep breath. "Do you want kids?"

Logan blinked. "What? Kids? Where is this coming from?"

Ryan pushed the hair out of his eyes. "Tonight, when Noah and Oren talked about their niece and nephew, and then seeing you and Charlie…you're so good with him, and he adores you."

Logan's eyes grew soft. "He's a great boy, isn't he?" His brow furrowed. "But kids? I-I don't know. I never thought about it. I'm in my midforties, Ry. I honestly don't know if I can handle a baby." Logan reached out and stroked his face. "I'm also a selfish bastard and don't think I want to take time away from us."

All things Ryan had considered. And yet…

"What if it wasn't a baby? There are so many older children who need parents. Gay teens whose parents turned them out, or kids who think they don't fit in. Maybe—"

"Maybe we could help them?" Logan scooted closer and took his mouth in a bruising kiss. "I always knew you were brilliant."

Ryan wound his arms around Logan's neck. "So you think it's a good idea?"

Logan kissed him again, his lips smiling. "I think that's a terrific idea. You're such a good person. I'm sure Wanda would know how to help us. We can talk about it with her tomorrow." He sucked Ryan's earlobe and pulled him close. "But right now I want you."

As always when Logan touched him, the fire simmering between them exploded into an inferno, and Ryan gave in to his hunger for the one man who understood him.

Needed him.

Loved him.

"I'll always want you."

He was finally free.

Finally home.

* * *