Chapter 17

17

ALAINA

I woke up on Saturday morning feeling like a storm cloud was hovering over me. The events of last night played over and over in my mind. I couldn't shake the weird feeling that had been clinging to me since I walked out of his office.

That kiss had been amazing. All night, I thought about how good it had been. I couldn't help but think about what it would be like to have him over me. In me. I knew it was likely a pipe dream, but it didn't stop the desire.

I threw my blanket off and got out of bed. Cate was in the kitchen when I finally dragged myself downstairs. She looked up from her coffee and raised an eyebrow at me. I saw her scrutinizing my appearance. I knew I looked rough.

"You look like you lost your best friend. What's up, Alaina?"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Nothing, Cate. Just tired, I guess."

Cate wasn't convinced. "Uh huh. How was the date?"

I hesitated, unsure how much to tell her. Cate was always straightforward, sometimes brutally so, and I wasn't sure I was ready to hear her thoughts on the situation with Roan. "It was fine. My car broke down. I didn't actually make it to dinner."

"That's a bummer," she said. "Did you see Roan?"

"Briefly," I murmured without meeting her eyes.

I wasn't going to tell her about the kiss. She would think I was crazy.

"Then why are you all bummed?" she asked. "I know you. This is not normal Alaina. Did he do something? Did he stand you up? I told you that man was trouble. He's a playboy."

"He's not a playboy," I muttered, more to myself than to her.

Or was he? He kissed me first. I kissed him back.

Maybe I was a bad kisser. I pulled back for some stupid reason. I shouldn't have stopped. I should have just kept kissing him and letting myself enjoy all he had to offer. But then I thought about Rafe, and Roan did say he only wanted to be friends. I didn't want to be a side piece or a booty call. That wasn't me. Guys like Roan didn't date women like me. If anything happened between us, it would be nothing more than him using me for a piece of ass. Besides, he was Rafe's father. I wasn't going to mix all of that up.

Cate leaned back. "I warned you that car was on its last leg."

"Yeah, you were right," I admitted with a rueful smile. "I guess it's finally time to say goodbye."

Cate grinned. "Well, I can help you look for a new one if you want. We can go car shopping this afternoon."

I smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Cate. But I'm not in the market for a car. I am going to be searching for an apartment. If I get one downtown, I won't need the car."

"You're just not going to have a car?"

I shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Why don't we just look at some car lots?" she said. "Just to see what's out there."

"That would be window shopping Cate. I don't have the money for a car. I need to get an apartment first."

"There's no rush for you to move out."

"I know, but I want my own place." I smiled. "I appreciate you helping me out, but I need to stand on my own two feet."

"And you need your own wheels."

"Not really." I shrugged. "I hardly drive anymore anyway. Besides the traffic sucks."

She winked. "It'll be a good distraction. Get your mind off other things."

We finished our coffee before I dragged myself to my room to shower and get ready. Cate was ready to go. We headed out, leaving behind the lingering thoughts of Roan and the complicated mess I found myself in.

As we drove to the dealership, I tried to push away the memories of his touch, his lips against mine. It wasn't right, thinking about him like this. He was Rafe's dad, my student's father. None of this was okay.

At the used car lot, we were immediately set upon by an eager salesman hoping to push a couple of young women into buying a car. As we browsed through the rows of cars, Cate chatted animatedly with the guy. I trailed behind, lost in my own thoughts.

The salesman showed us a sleek silver sedan, boasting about its low mileage and excellent fuel efficiency. I nodded along, but my mind was elsewhere. I had no intention of buying a car. I was here to satisfy Cate.

Cate nudged me, bringing me back to reality. "What do you think, Alaina? This one is really nice."

I forced a smile and nodded. "It looks great, Cate. But I don't think I'm ready to make a decision today."

Cate gave me a knowing look but didn't press further. Instead, she turned back to the salesman and asked about the financing options for the silver sedan. I sighed inwardly. Cate was like a force of nature when she set her mind to something, and right now, she seemed determined to see me driving off the lot in that silver sedan.

As the salesman went over the details with Cate, I took a step back and glanced around the lot. I was never going to sign on the dotted line. Cate's priority might be a car, but mine was my own place. I checked the time and saw it was almost time for the appointment to look at an apartment.

"I'm sorry, but I really need to go," I said.

Cate looked shocked. "Alaina."

"Thank you for your time, but I'm not ready to buy just yet," I said to the salesman. "I appreciate your effort."

"If that one's not?—"

"Thank you, but no," I said firmly.

I grabbed Cate's arm and pulled her away.

"He was going to give you a great deal," Cate hissed.

"I don't want a car, Cate. Period. Full stop. I need somewhere to live. I have to go look at this place. I forgot to tell you earlier. But I don't want to miss out. Are you going to take me, or should I take a cab?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll take you. But that was a good car."

Cate and I arrived at the apartment building near Rafe's school. The building itself was quaint, with ivy climbing up the brick facade. An older woman greeted us and quickly led us down a set of cement steps that weren't exactly in the best condition. The apartment was located in the basement. It was dark and cramped, with barely any natural light filtering through the small windows.

"I'll let you look around," the woman said. "If you'd like an application, I'll be upstairs."

"Thank you." I smiled.

Cate wrinkled her nose as we looked around. "Seriously, Alaina? This place is a dungeon."

I sighed, already feeling a sense of defeat. "I know, Cate. But it's within walking distance of the school, and it's the only thing I can afford right now."

Cate glanced around, her expression unimpressed. "But it's so tiny. And in the basement? You're going to feel like a mole living down here."

"I don't have much choice," I replied, trying to sound more resolute than I felt. "I need to be close to the school, and without a car, my options are limited."

We continued the tour, trying to focus on the positives—like the fact that it was newly renovated and had a small kitchen area. Cate, on the other hand, was not so easily convinced.

"It's a studio," she pointed out, gesturing at the single room that served as the living area and bedroom. "And it's so small. Where will you put all your stuff?"

"I'll make it work," I said, frustrated. "I have to."

"What about Beau?"

"When I talked to her on the phone, she said it was okay," I said.

"Where will he fit?" she asked. "There's barely room for you ."

I gave her a look. "That's not funny. I don't need anything fancy. I know it's not ideal, but it's temporary." Maybe I was trying to convince myself as much as Cate.

Cate sighed, her expression softening. "You don't have to move out."

"I know and it's very generous of you to offer, but I'm ready. I want to have my own place. Your apartment is awesome, and you haven't made me feel like I need to go, but I just miss my independence."

Cate sighed, clearly realizing that arguing with me was futile. "Okay, okay. If this is what you want, then I'm with you. I'll help you make it cozy."

I smiled gratefully at her. "Thanks, Cate. I really appreciate it."

We went upstairs and spoke with the landlord. I signed some paperwork so she could run a credit check. My mind was already racing with plans on how to make the small space feel like home. A little color and it would brighten up. The park was nearby, a green oasis in the middle of the city, and I knew Beau would love being so close to it.

"I think I want to do a little shopping," I said as we walked down the street afterward.

"Yes!" Cate exclaimed.

"No, no." I laughed and pointed up ahead to a sign for an indoor flea market.

She cringed. "That's not shopping."

"It's the best shopping." I grinned. "Come on. You might like it."

We strolled through the flea market, stopping at several booths. Cate tagged along, her mood brightening as we browsed through vintage clothes and quirky handmade crafts. "This place is actually pretty cool," she admitted, picking up a bracelet made of polished stones.

"Yeah, it's nice," I agreed. "I think I'll come here often."

We continued our shopping. Cate's skepticism slowly dissolved as the eclectic mix of vendors offered us a treasure trove of unique finds. From antique furniture that would lend my tiny apartment character to brightly colored pillows that would add much-needed pops of color.

I picked up a few little things, including a sweater with a shiny unicorn on it. On the way back to her car, Cate stopped me.

She insisted on stopping at a small boutique she had spotted earlier. "Come on, Alaina. You need something nice for your new place. A little housewarming gift to yourself."

"We were just at a place filled with things I could use for my new place—assuming I get it."

"One new thing," she said. "You deserve something new that has never been owned by anyone else."

I hesitated, but Cate was already dragging me inside before I could protest. The boutique was filled with delicate ceramics, scented candles, and elegant home decor items.

"This is cute," Cate remarked, picking up a turquoise mug with a delicate floral pattern. "It would look great in your new kitchen."

I picked up a matching one in pale pink. "They are cute."

Cate chuckled, nodding in agreement. "Exactly. Let's get them."

We made our purchases and headed back to her apartment building.

"I really hate the idea of you living in that place," she said.

"I'm just trying to make the best of my situation," I told her. "I have to start at the bottom and work my way up to a place like this. You did. I can do it too. I'm looking forward to making do."

She nodded. "I'm proud of you. To new beginnings and studio apartments."

"To being a basement dweller," I added with a chuckle.

"Beau will love that park," she said absently.

"Yes, he will, and it's only a few stairs to get in and out of the apartment."

While we were talking, my phone rang. I leaned over to grab it and looked at the screen.

It was Roan. My heart skipped a beat seeing his name.

What could he want?

Did I dare answer it?