28. Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Three

J esse listened as Scoop helped Cannon get into bed. She couldn't imagine how much it bothered him to have to have people help him with the smallest items. Since he was now in her room, maybe she could figure out some type of brace he could use to help himself into bed. She'd already looked at her bathroom to see if there was any way to make it okay for him to help himself. Maybe when they went to the doctor next week, he would let Cannon move to a smaller cast. Cannon had said he'd mentioned it.

Though for now, they'd have to get through tonight. Cannon had been quiet at supper. He wasn't one for just chatter, but tonight, she'd noticed a tightness in his face. He was concerned about something. She hadn't wanted to ask because Roam had said to let Cannon share what he wanted. Roam had also mentioned that Cannon might be upset after therapy. Digging up old wounds wasn't easy. She wanted to help him, but she'd have to wait until he was ready to share.

Scoop walked out. "He's good to go. I'm on call if you need anything."

"Thanks. Tell Sarah I need my freezer filled with some pumpkin and banana bread. Cannon ate the last slice this morning."

Scoop walked over and put his arm around her. "You should have said something. Sarah has loaves labeled in the freezer that I'm not allowed to eat. It says for Jesse and the babies. Do you want me to run some back over tonight?"

Jesse leaned her head on Scoop's shoulder and hugged him back. "No. Tomorrow is good enough. Anybody remind you that you're a pretty good brother-in-law?"

Scoop chuckled. "Not lately. Let us know if you need anything."

Scoop headed out, and Jesse locked the door behind him. She'd been leaving it unlocked during the day because of the amount of people in and out. But at night, she wanted to sleep safe. A comfy recliner rocker had shown up at her work today. She'd told Cannon at supper how much she appreciated it. He'd smiled but it hadn't changed the stress on his face. She walked into their room, grabbed her nightclothes, and went into the bathroom. It was strange because they were sleeping together. And Cannon had seen her naked before, but she was self-conscious about her belly. She brushed her teeth and then opened the cabinet to take her vitamins.

A yellow-colored note was stuck to the bottle.

She picked the note off the bottle and opened the bottle and took her vitamin. Then she put the note back on the bottle. She wanted to see it every night when she took her pill. Knowing he thought she was amazing gave her a little lift.

She walked out to the room in her panties and large T-shirt. When Cannon had seen how tight hers were getting, he'd asked Clara to bring some of his over. Wearing his size X-large gave her a little extra room.

"Thank you for the note," she said as she crawled into bed and turned out the light. She leaned over to kiss his mouth. He always kissed her back but didn't linger with it. She was okay with that.

She settled into the bed, tucking the body pillow between her legs. She liked laying on her side and being able to put her hand on Cannon's arm in the night. Sometimes she'd startle awake and worry he was still at the hospital.

"I was a little quiet tonight because I have homework from the therapist."

Cannon's deep voice in the darkness had her sliding her hand onto his arm. The faint moonlight and the yard light cast a little bit of light into the room. Once her eyes adjusted, she could see the outline of Cannon's body but couldn't see facial expressions.

"I'm listening. You can share anything."

She listened to Cannon breathe deep, and a tremor went through his body. She slid her hand down to his and wrapped her fingers around him.

"Take your time," she whispered. She had wanted him to share, but with his behavior, she wasn't sure she could handle what he was going to share.

"I don't remember a time when my dad smiled or hugged me. My earliest memory is of being at a campsite in a tent, shivering because I only had one blanket. My dad smacked my leg, telling me to quit whining. I'm not even sure how old I was. It was before I ever met my grandma. I met her when I was ten years old."

She waited to see if he'd say any more. "Had you gone to school yet?"

"I don't think so, but since my dad lived a different lifestyle, I didn't attend school regularly. My grandma described my dad as a vagabond or a nomad. I had to look up those words at school. It fit what he did. He had an old truck with camping equipment. We traveled, and he'd either get work or gamble to have enough for what he thought we needed."

Jesse couldn't imagine a life where she didn't have a set home to call hers. A bed she knew she could sleep in every night.

"It sounds like a hard life for a kid." Jesse thought this was a major understatement, but she didn't want to pass any judgment that might make Cannon stop talking.

"I don't remember a feeling of happiness until he dropped me off with my grandma for the first time. I was ten, and he said he needed to do some stuff without me. It was late summer, early fall. Grandma enrolled me in school, bought me some clothes, and gave me a haircut. Hygiene was hit or miss with my dad. I remember never wanting to leave. I had a safe, clean, soft bed, and food was always available."

She leaned closer, her heart breaking for the boy he'd been. She brushed a kiss against his cheek. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. What can I do?"

Cannon gripped her hand a little tighter. "You're doing it. Listening to me. I'm not sure I can share more yet. I picked the dark because I didn't want to see your face if you thought less of me."

The tremor in his voice had a tear rolling down her cheek.

"I'm never going to judge you by your father's actions. You understand that your dad's actions aren't yours, right?"

He pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed her fingers. Her fingers came away wet from the tears rolling down his cheeks. If she could find Cannon's dad, she might have to teach him a lesson. No child deserved to think they were unwanted or a burden.

"My therapist had me say multiple times I am not to blame for my father's behavior. I'm supposed to repeat it to myself when I start thinking how he acted was my fault."

Jesse scooted as close as her belly would let her leaning over close to his face. "I wish I could take away what you've gone through, but I can't. I'm so proud of you for sharing with me. You're taking steps to help make a wonderful life for our girls. We'll get through this."

She hoped he believed her words. Their relationship was a work in progress. She wasn't sure where they'd eventually end up but knew they still had a bumpy road ahead of them.