40. Ryan

40

Ryan

“ I need to know. The suspense is killing me.” My girl giggles and squirms in the passenger seat. She’s blindfolded because I have a surprise for her tonight.

She’s in a silky black tank with jean shorts and flip-flop sandals. It reminds me so much of the first night all that time ago at the back-to-school bash. She was wearing something similar. Whether I admitted it to myself then or not, I was gone for her that night, and I’m just as gone for her now. I would do almost anything for the breathtaking girl next to me. We've fought for this, and I couldn't be prouder of the version of ourselves we've grown into. She can’t see me, but I’m smiling ear to ear just looking at her. Her knee bounces with nerves and excitement .

“We’re almost there, babe. I promise it’ll be worth it.” I’m so excited to bring Violet here. I’m driving her an hour out of town to where I spent most of my childhood years. I haven’t been back in so long. The good memories are not something I wanted to remember much of, but now I’m ready to welcome happiness back into my life.

It’s ok to be happy. My mom’s words ring in my mind. For so long, I denied myself happiness. The guilt I felt of her being sick weighed on me for so long. It made me hate the world. Losing everything I thought was important put things into perspective and made me realize how tired I was of holding it all together. I wanted a life where I could love and be loved. Violet gave me that. I lost it, and I’m a lucky guy for having a second chance at my happy ending.

“Alright, we’re here. I’m going to help you out, ok, babe?” I jump out my seat and make my way over the passenger side to lift her from the car.

“I trust you, Ryan.” Those words send a shot straight to my soul. She trusts me. Earning that back hasn’t been easy, but I’ve never shied away from a challenge. Days of small talk and building a friendship again were torture. All I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and claim her as mine, but trust is earned slowly. I needed to earn it in a way that she was comfortable with by letting her set the pace.

I guide her through the cool sand and onto the dark beach. I used to come here by myself all the time to do homework, listen to music, and think. Bringing Violet here just feels right. I pull out a thick blanket and spread it out across the sand. I lay her favorite fluffy one on top and instruct Violet to sit. She slips off her sandals and criss-crosses on the blanket.

“Ok, are you ready to see?”

“I was born ready!” she squeals. I carefully remove the blindfold from those eager blue eyes.

“Wow," she gasps. "This is beautiful. Where are we?” This place is special. Not many people know about it. It’s my own slice of heaven. The waves of the water on this secluded beach hit the pebbled rocks with the most calming sounds. The air is cool, and the sand is soft under our toes. You can see the stars clearly at night, and my girl loves the stars.

“We’re an hour out from Springs U. I used to come here all the time as a kid. It’s special to me, and I wanted to share that with you.”

“The stars. Oh my gosh. I love it so much.” She points at the dark sky, lit up with millions of stars.

Small gestures like this mean the world to Violet. She’s never had anyone in her life to think about her in this way. We snuggle up, wrapped in her favorite blanket. She points, and her mouth forms a little ‘o’ every time she spots a new constellation she likes. While she's gazing at the stars, I’m watching her. She is the brightest star in the galaxy. The guiding force always making sure I make my way home.

“Vi, I didn’t just bring you here to see the stars. I have something to ask you.” Her head jolts away from the stars to lock eyes with me. Her lips purse in confusion. Even in the dark of night, that look does unspeakable things to me.

“Ask me something?” she mutters.

“We’re inevitable, Vi. From the second I laid eyes on you in class, I knew you were special. I never thought I would ever be good enough for a girl like you, but you prove to me time and time again how much you love me so deeply.” I inhale a deep breath. I’m not one to shy away from big moments, but this one has me rattled. Emotions still aren’t easy, but I’m trying. For Violet, I would do anything.

“I’ve always loved you. Even when we were apart.” She grabs my arm to scoot closer and steadies me. She always grounds me. This moment is for her, and she is making sure I’m calm and present.

“I don’t think I’ll ever quite deserve you, but I’m beyond lucky that you are willing to love me anyway. You’ve taught me what unconditional love is. You’ve shown me what’s important and changed my life for the better, Vi.” Her hands clamp over her mouth, and her body shakes. I slowly lift her up into a sitting position.

I pop onto one knee and ask the most important question of my life, “Violet Evans, would you make me the luckiest man to ever live and be my wife?”

She’s audibly crying and then kissing me ferociously. My hands slide to the small of her back, and I gently nip at her ear. My favorite girl in the world. I know every inch of her and plan to spend the rest of my life exploring it. I pull away for a second, realizing she never gave me an answer.

“Is that a yes, baby?”

“One thousand times yes,” she leans her head against mine and whispers with certainty.

I never imagined my life would look the way it does today. Sometimes it throws you way off course and forces you to reimagine yourself like you never dreamed, but it led me to my happy ending. For that, I owe it all to her.