Chapter Forty-Two

VOICES FLOODED MY MIND. I groaned as feeling returned to my body. I was sore as shit, but the pain dulled with each passing second. Rough sand pressed into the backs of my arms, and heat warmed my face. I slowly opened my eyes to see the shining sun overhead, which was quickly blocked by a panic-stricken Rune leaning forward to look down at me.

"Bria. Baby, can you hear me?" He asked in a string of words.

"Bria!" Dallas yelled, appearing on my other side. She gripped my other hand and held it to her chest. "Bria, talk to us."

Hearing more people, I glanced at my feet, and I found Rance, Akira, Jesiah— everyone in my close circle—standing there. They looked like they'd just rolled out of bed, still in their sleepwear with tousled hair.

Despite everyone's severe reactions, I couldn't help but crack a slow smile. "Did I go back in time? I feel like I'm waking up on the ground outside the club again."

One of my first encounters with Rune, Akira, and Bassel was right after I'd nearly gotten robbed. I'd hit my head during the ordeal and woke up in the same position, with Rune holding me, Dallas right next to me, and everyone else hovering at my feet.

That day felt like lifetimes ago.

Bassel shook his head with a slight chuckle. "She's able to crack jokes. Guess that's a good sign."

"Are you hurt anywhere?" Rune asked as his eyes raked over what he could see of my body.

I shook my head against the sand and slowly sat up. The cinder blocks that had previously weighed me down after conjuring Balgair had thankfully disappeared. As I laid there for a moment, I realized I didn't feel any injuries either, which was a miracle to say the least.

"I'm fine," I finally answered.

I glanced over my shoulder and realized the water had brought me back to Morardia. I was laid out on the beach behind the palace, and it was only my inner circle and some guards out here. Thank God. I didn't want any of my people to see me passed out in the sand.

"What are you doing out here?" Dallas asked. "We were all freaked when we couldn't find you this morning, and then when the patrol saw you wash up on shore, we weren't—we—" She sniffled and ran a shaky hand through her messy ponytail.

"We weren't sure what we'd find," Rance finished as he knelt down and placed a supportive hand on Dallas's shoulder.

Unease pricked my insides. "What do you mean? Why would you—"

"Because half of the fucking Lylora Woods is charred," Rune snapped, his lip curled in a snarl, showing his canines. "The sky has been full of smoke all morning, you were missing, and Lylora Woods is burning. What happened to you?"

The crowd around us shifted at the rising tension radiating off Rune as his gaze pleaded with mine for answers. I wanted to brush it off and pretend I'd just fallen asleep in the water during a midnight swim. That would be easier than the truth, but I couldn't lie to him.

"I went to meet with Myra last night," I whispered, yet it was like the wind carried my voice to everyone gathered.

Rune reared back like I'd hit him, and his fox ears laid back. Dallas started spewing profanities. My other friends came closer, firing questions at me. I didn't look away from Rune, though, and as the seconds ticked by, I could see the anger rising inside of him like a pot of boiling water about to spill over.

Finally, he asked through clenched teeth, "Why?"

I swallowed hard. "I tried to convince her to join us." I left the real meaning unsaid, but by the tightening of his eyes, he knew what I was really saying.

I tried to convince her to come back to you.

Barreling on, I finished, "I—I let her see Balgair in an effort to get her to join our side."

"Balgair?" Ardley asked, confusion clearly swarming his features.

I nodded. "It's an ability Water Fae had. Or have . I don't know. Muna told me about it while I was there, and I, well, I sort of taught myself how to do it."

The Water Fae around me suddenly started rattling off questions at me about this new power. Before I could answer any or even really make out what they were asking, Rune got to his feet. His nostrils flared, and his clawed fists clenched as he walked away from us, heading back to the palace.

A vision of silent rage.

"Is he okay?" Khalani whispered to Ardley.

"No," Ardley and Akria answered at the same time.

Knowing I needed to go to Rune, I got to my feet, gave everyone my reassurances that I really was fine, and ran off to find my fuming husband.

Taking a guess as to where he'd gone, I went down the stairs that led to the underground training room and gym. When I entered the vast main room, I heard huffs and thuds coming from the adjoining space. Rune was there, swinging his fists at a punching bag—one made for Fae, not humans, since a Fae could take a human one out with a mere flick of a finger.

Closing the door behind me, I leaned against it and watched the muscles and tendons bunch in his bare shoulders and back. He'd pulled his hair into a bun among his fox ears, which were pinned back in agitation. I glanced at my feet where his discarded shirt was, and when I picked it up, I realized he'd clawed the garment to pieces like he'd ripped it off. He was still in Fae form, which meant his hands still had to be clawed, yet there he was with curled fists, punching the shit out of stuff.

"Rune," I said.

His back tensed, and he slammed his fist into the bag once more, leaving his knuckles pressed to the swinging gear. He looked over his shoulder at me, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he focused on the punching bag and began hitting it again.

"Rune," I called louder, walking toward him.

Before I reached him, he growled and slammed his fist into the bag so hard, the chain holding it snapped, and the bag exploded in a cloud of dust and fabric. Rune's breathing came out hard and fast, and his clenched fists fell to his sides. That's when I saw all the blood pouring from the cracks between his curled fingers.

"Rune!" I cried out in alarm, rushing the rest of the way to his side. I grabbed his hand and pulled his fingers back to see the four deep, crescent-shaped gashes seeping blood onto his palm. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"What was I thinking?" He growled. "What were you thinking?"

"I know you're mad, but—"

"I'm not fucking mad, Bria," Rune raged, pulling his hand from my grasp. He stepped away from me. "I'm furious . I'm livid . Sneaking out to go meet my mom in the middle of the night? Not telling anyone where you were going or what you were doing?" His hands gripped the back of his neck, and he hung his head. "Why would you do something like that?"

Taking a calming breath, I said, "You've been hurting, Rune. You can deny it all you want, but I know you want your mom here. Newt and Greshim do, too. I thought letting Balgair talk to her would make her want to come back, and for a moment, I think I got through to her. Everything was actually working. Then Elias showed up and got into her head again."

"Elias?" His head snapped up so he could look at me. " Elias was there, too?"

I cringed, because that was the wrong thing to add. It was just working Rune up more, winding up the Fox until soon, he'd have no option but to explode.

"You could've died, and no one would've known," Rune hissed and dropped his hands back to his sides. "I woke up alone, and when I saw the endless smoke coming from the mainland, you—" He sucked in a sharp breath and shook his head. "You have no idea how gut-wrenching it was, seeing that and just knowing that something was wrong."

He was right. I knew that. I'd put him in a hard position by doing this all on my own and not telling him anything. If the tables were turned, I'd probably be an absolute wreck. His anger was warranted, and the guilt I felt was deserved.

"I'm sorry, Rune," I whispered.

"We are about to head into a fight like none of us have ever seen," Rune seethed with a tight jaw. "We're about to go to war with a man—the very man who you were with last night—whose number one goal is killing you."

He stopped, swiping his still bloody hands over his face and into his hair. Finally, his eyes met mine, and the anger had vanished, giving way to a new, more potent emotion.

"I am so scared, Bria," he admitted, his voice catching on the word. "I've been in countless fights. Lost plenty of friends and fellow soldiers in war. And I know you're strong. I know you're a badass and powerful, but I am terrified of losing you. Every time we train, I think, ‘what if this was the real thing?' I watch you take hits and picture Elias being on the delivering end of that, and I … I've never panicked as much as I have in these past weeks. I don't know how to deal with all of this. I don't know how I can go into battle, knowing that at any time, you could die."

His fear was one I shared, and having him vocalize it made a crater form in my chest. My busy schedule had kept me from having to dwell on the terror always poking at me, but having Rune say it out loud made it impossible to ignore.

I might only have two months of life left.

We all might.

Rune closed the space between us, and he placed his bloody hands on the sides of my head, pulling me into him and pressing his forehead to mine. "Please," he whispered. "Please promise me you won't die."

My chest tightened with so many emotions that I couldn't even begin to name them all, but they curled around my throat, making it sound like gravel as I said, "You know I can't promise that."

He knew it was the truth, even before he asked it. We both did. He needed comfort and reassurance, but we both knew it would be a lie. I couldn't promise that I'd live through the battle, just as he couldn't. I couldn't even promise today or tomorrow. That was out of our hands, no matter how badly we craved for that control.

Placing my hands over his, I squeezed. "But I can promise you that I'm going to give it my all. I'm going to try harder than I ever have before, and I won't stop fighting. No matter what. I promise to fight to stay here by your side."

Taking a deep breath, he whispered, "I can't lose you, Bria."

"We don't know what's going to happen, Rune. We don't know how any of this is going to play out, so you can't think that way. That's only going to serve to distract you during the fight, and I can't have that . All you can do is hold onto me right now. Hold on and focus on right now."

Did I really believe my words? Partly. But, like Rune, I was scared to death of what was to come. I wanted to scream, cry, puke, everything , because the idea of losing him, of losing anyone, terrified me. I just couldn't voice that, because I needed to be strong for Rune, for those fighting, and for my people.

I let go of his hands and wrapped my arms around his neck. He let go of my head to pull me against him, and his strong arms hugged tightly around my middle. We squeezed like we were trying to memorize the feel of each other, and perhaps that's exactly what we were doing. The time we had wasn't guaranteed. It could be gone like a snap of fingers.

So I held on, memorizing the press of his chest to mine, the ridges in his back, the weight of his cheek pressed into the top of my head, and the sound of his beating heart. We stayed that way for countless minutes. All was quiet. All was still. There was just the two of us embracing and our silent worries filling the room.

"Please don't do anything reckless like sneaking out to see my mom again," Rune whispered against the top of my head.

I pressed my cheek into his shoulder. "I won't. I'm sorry."

He took a breath and asked, "What did you mean when you said you let her talk to my dad?"

I pulled back to look at him and explained what I'd learned. I told him what Muna said, about my practice on the balcony of our room, and about the decision I'd made to try to sway Myra.

"I know it was stupid," I finished. "I should've told you what I was doing so you weren't left to worry. I—I just … I know I can't bring Balgair back to life, but I thought I could at least bring your mom back to you."

Rune let out a puff of air and shook his head. "I appreciate you wanting to do that for me. Really. But I don't need you to bring either of them back. I have all I need right here." He grabbed my hands with his bloody ones and placed them against his chest as if to punctuate his words.

As I stared up at him, it became clear he meant what he said. There were no false assurances in his gaze as it held mine. Only truth and love resided there, and when I realized that he meant it, that I was truly enough, warmth unfurled in my chest like a flower opening to bask in the sun.

I stood on my tiptoes to press my lips to his, and he leaned into me, sweeping his lips over mine in response. The soft and slow overlapping of lips and roaming tongues was different from a lot of our kisses. It wasn't a hungry, urgent act that begged for sex, but rather, it was meant to show just how much love there was between us. We piled our emotions for the other into it, trying to convey what the other meant to us.

When we finally pulled apart, we pressed our foreheads together and worked to catch our breath. He still had my hands pressed to his chest, and his thumb brushed lovingly over the back of my hand.

"I still have to give the whole story to Dallas and everybody," I said, and there was no missing the hint of disappointment in my voice. I wanted to stay here with him, just the two of us in the quiet, stillness of the room.

He nodded and almost seemed reluctant to leave. He turned and started to make his way for the door with one of my hands still woven in his.

"I know you said you don't need me to bring either of them back," I began slowly as we trekked through the main training room and for the stairs. Rune looked at me as I finished, "But if you want to see your dad for a moment, I could—"

"No."

My eyes widened in surprise. The one word was firm with no hint of hesitancy or uncertainty.

Rune seemed to notice my surprise, and as we climbed the steps, he explained softly, "I feel like seeing him would send me back to places I don't want to go, especially not right now. I need to focus on you and on training the Fae who will be fighting. I can't afford not being at my best right now."

I nodded in understanding. Losing his dad had devastated Rune, and he'd become a jaded, angry man. It fueled his hate of Water Fae, and he'd lived blinded by that loathing for a long time. If he worried that seeing his dad could reignite some of those ugly emotions, I couldn't blame him for not wanting to see Balgair. Maybe once this was all over, I'd still have the chance to make the offer again.

I SIPPED ON MY COFFEE and inhaled two fresh cinnamon rolls while my friends congregated in one of my personal sitting rooms. I had to debrief everyone who'd been at the beach about what happened, but since it was just my group of friends and not anything official, I'd forgone gathering in the meeting room for the more comfortable arrangement of my sitting room. The twins tried to join us, but since this had to do with Myra, Marlow offered to take them to the beach to play, which Alvaro encouraged.

With food finally in my body and all my friends here, I set my empty coffee mug aside and told them everything. What Muna said, my secret nighttime training, seeing my dad, deciding to try the same thing on Myra, and finally, the confrontation with the Fox Fae.

"It's a miracle you survived that," Bassel remarked after I'd finished.

"Give Bria more credit," Akira said, nudging the Liger with his elbow. "I've always known she was a badass who could hold her own."

I smiled. The Raven Fae truly had always believed in me.

"Even so," Dallas hissed with a glare directed right at me. "That was stupid. You should've told us your plan so we could've protected you. You could've been killed . Why would you do something like that?"

"I did it for Rune and the boys," I answered immediately. Looking down at my hands, I said, "I wanted the twins and Rune to have their mom back. I mean, the boys always ask about her. I—I just wanted to bring her back to them."

The room fell quiet. The twins had become a big part of our lives, not only for me, but for everyone in here. I liked to think that we all thought of the boys as our own family, so hearing my reasoning seemed to give them all pause.

"It was still stupid of you to go alone," Dallas grumbled, crossing her arms.

"I know," I conceded. Guilt weighed down my shoulders as I met Dallas's worried eyes. "I'm sorry."

She huffed and plopped down next to me on the couch. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pulled me into her. We squeezed each other tightly as she said, "I'm just glad you're safe."

Rune, who stood across the room with Jesiah and Ardley, watched me and Dallas as he stated, "The fact that Bria was able to sneak out past all the guards and patrols highlights that our security is lacking. I think there needs to be some training and work done in that area."

"I couldn't agree more," Jesiah responded. "Especially given the current state of everything. I think everyone , soldiers and patrols alike, should begin heavy training with the rest of us today. A refresher won't hurt, and we want all at their best with the upcoming battle."

The rest of us were in agreement with that, and with the previous night's excursion finally out in the open—and all curiosities of my new ability addressed—we separated to get started on today's combat work.

As everyone filed out of the room, I noticed Alvaro hanging back. Sensing that perhaps the Fox Fae had additional questions about his wife that he may want to discuss without an audience, I waited until everyone was gone so that only Alvaro and I remained.

Meeting the large man's stare, I asked, "Is something wrong?"

Alvaro stared blankly at me with his arms casually crossed. "That was very foolish to meet my wife the way you did."

I sighed and forced myself to refrain from rolling my eyes. "Yes, yes, I know. We've established that. But as I said, I—"

"Thank you."

I stopped, mouth frozen mid-word, eyes wide. Blinking a few times to clear what had to be a delusion, I stuttered, "Wh-What?"

Alvaro's eyes never left mine. "Thank you. You've always been good to my boys. The fact that you risked your life to give my sons their mother back means far more than you realize. I thank you, and to show my gratitude for all you've done for Newt and Greshim, I'd like to offer my services."

I was still too stunned, hearing Alvaro offer me praise, that I couldn't seem to formulate a response.

I didn't have to, because he finished, "I'd like to personally train you for combat. Like Myra, I was a high-ranked military personnel. I know Elias's fighting style, and I can help you prepare for your battle with him."

Now the surprise knocked me off my feet. I sank down onto the couch and stared at Alvaro, dumbfounded. "You want to train me?"

He nodded. " Sí ."

My relationship with Rune's step-father had always been borderline non-existent. We shared the same spaces at times when the twins were involved, but that was basically it. To have him, not only thank me, but offer to work together was baffling to say the least.

But it was also exciting.

The skills and knowledge that Alvaro could offer, not only me but our army, were surely extraordinary. With his help, I'd no doubt become stronger and far more ready to face Elias than I would've been otherwise.

Slowly, I got back to my feet. "Okay. Yes. I'd love that. Th-Thank you, Alvaro."

"You're welcome." He paused before dipping his head in respect. "Bria."

My lips twitched with a smile. Bria . Finally, after all this time, he'd used my correct name. It was a small, simple gesture, but that, paired with our new agreement, put some real pep in my step for the first time in a while.