Chapter Nine

Tari

I woke with a dull throb, as if someone had hammered a nail into my skull. I opened my eyes, relieved for the low candlelight of our musty cavern bedchamber, for I didn't think I could handle pure sunlight. My memories were still there. All of them.

I recalled growing up with Shiri. Our mother and father had usually made sure we had enough food before they would eat, and if we were still hungry our father would fly us deeper into the forest, and we'd help him collect nuts and berries. I remembered giggling with Shiri while holding onto our father's neck. He'd fashioned a sling to fit both of us, and he'd flown from tree limb to tree limb, never above the treetops lest we were spotted by one of Malvolia's spies. Despite the fear of being discovered by Malvolia that constantly haunted us, our little family had carved out a bit of happiness among the gloom, for our mother and father had loved us and kept us safe, and I had my playmate, my very best friend, my twin, to always keep me company.

I recalled the night I'd met Ash and Finn, how their hungry gazes had pinned me from across the campfire. Though my father had threatened to turn them to ash, I was desperate to steal a moment alone with them. The female wolves had pulled me from my protective father's arms, saying they were taking me to bathe in a section of the stream where males weren't allowed, but they'd conspired with my mates and had led me to them instead. Ash and Finn had taken me to the ritual cavern baths where countless shifters before them had bonded with their fated mates. That had been and remains the most magical night of my life. I'd found heaven in their arms that night and then had awoken to a nightmare.

The next three years were a blur of sorrow and rage. I remember the birth of my babies. Shiri had been the first to hold them, her eyes watering as she snuggled them to her chest. My mother had balked at the blood and wouldn't hold them until after Shiri had given them baths. I didn't blame our mother. She'd had an aversion to blood after surviving the Dark and Crimson Tides. In fact, she drank herbs to prevent her monthly flow to avoid the sight of blood between her legs. I remembered holding my daughters for just a short while. Then I slept, first from exhaustion, and then because I was too depressed to face the reality of raising my daughters without Finn and Ash. I did a lot of sleeping that first year while Shiri raised my daughters for me. The realization shamed me, but it also made me realize just how much I'd missed my mates. Now they were here, and like a fool, I was chasing after their undeserving brother. I stared at the dark cavern ceiling, vowing to never again take them for granted.

I slowly rolled onto my side, blinking at Ash who smiled softly. His features had changed in the past five years, the youthful glow in his eyes gone, replaced by the glint of steel only known by living a harsh life. Thin lines framed his mouth and eyes, and his dark hair even had a few strands of gray.

When he held his hand out to me, I entwined my fingers through his.

"Good morning," I rasped.

"Good evening." He tenderly kissed my knuckles, sending a trill down my spine and reminding me we hadn't made love in days.

"Good evening?" I asked, still disoriented as a fog settled in my skull.

He gently stroked my face. "You've been sleeping all day."

"All day?" I tried to sit up, but that fog in my skull was far too thick for me to do anything beyond draping a hand across my brow.

"That tea knocked you out."

Which one? I thought to myself, though I supposed it didn't matter now.

My eyelids fluttered when he gently traced the side of my face. "Are you okay?"

I forced a smile. "I will be." As soon as I killed Thorin.

The wolf flared in his eyes as his voice dropped to an ominous rumble. "I will find the mind spinner and cut him to shreds. I will make what we did to Fachnan look like child's play."

Interesting how Ash said what I'd been thinking. "Not if I kill him first."

"It would be your right, but I'll gladly do it for you." There was an eagerness in his voice, as if he hoped I'd relinquish my right to kill Thorin, but I knew I must be the one to do it, and not just because of my thirst for revenge. I didn't trust Thorin not to harm my mates.

"Where are Finn and the girls?" I asked, choosing to change the subject rather than waste any more of my energy on the mind spinner.

"He took them in search of food." He sat up, frowning down at me while the covers fell to his waist, revealing a hard, muscular chest covered in swirling tattoos. "Darling," he said while continuing to rub my hand, "I'm sorry for getting angry with you yesternight."

I sat up, too, giving his fingers a squeeze. "It's okay." I deserved it after taking my mates for granted.

He frowned down at our joined hands. "It's not."

"I don't love Helian more than you." I scooted closer to him, placing a hand on his warm chest. "I'm sorry if I gave that impression." I looked up into his eyes, swirling with longing, a deep yearning that pulsed off him in waves. He wanted me, and not just as a lover. He craved a connection so much deeper. I bit my lip as my veins heated at the thought of crawling into his lap and placating his desires with feverish kisses and promises of love. "You're my protector."

"I'm a jealous wolf, and I'm not sure I can ever change." He settled a hand over mine, a frown marring his brow. "I'm trying, though."

The longing that pulsed off him was enough to shatter my heart. I remembered Finn's words from yesternight.

"Do you think you won't be alpha if Helian joins our pack?" I asked.

"I don't know." He averted his gaze. "I haven't given it much thought."

I dipped my head and cupped his cheek, forcing him to look me in the eyes. "You're a terrible liar."

His skin heated beneath my touch as a crimson blush fanned his face. "He's my older brother, and a dragon rider, and a prince—no, wait..." He visibly swallowed, looking away. "A king. He will naturally want to be alpha."

I offered him my best reassuring smile. "And you're a prince, and a wolf shifter." I gently stroked his face, rewarded with a low growl that rattled my bones and turned my insides to lava. "You're also the one who's been keeping me safe these past few weeks, not him."

His jaw slackened. "So what are you saying?"

I bit my lip while crawling on top of him and straddling his waist. "I'm saying you're my alpha."

His features hardened, even as he wrapped his arms around me, cupping my bottom. "He won't agree."

"He won't have a choice," I said while settling myself against his groin, rewarded with a very hard and thick protrusion pressed against that sensitive juncture between my thighs. Desire coursed through me and turned my veins to molten lava. Oh, how badly I wanted him. "You're my protector." I combed my fingers through his long, thick hair. "If he doesn't accept it, he doesn't join our pack."

His feral grin was my undoing. "Just when I think I couldn't love you more," he said, right before capturing my lips in a passionate kiss.

My hands were all over him, roaming his hard chest while he deepened the kiss, his tongue sparring with mine, mimicking the way he probed me with his cock. Elements, I missed sex. When his hand slipped under my gown, gently stroking my inner thigh, I turned to butter in his arms.

He rolled me over, devouring me with his mouth and hands.

Elements, I projected to him. I'm going to combust if you don't take me.

His wolf howled in my mind, and then we both froze at the sound of girly squeals echoing outside our room. We quickly broke apart and he jumped from the bed as if it was on fire, snatching a pillow and holding it over his body when Finn and the girls came into the room, carrying trays of food.

That ache in me didn't subside. If anything, the throbbing was more painful.

Nice timing, Ash projected to Finn, shadows falling across his features.

We're parents now, Finn shot back, unbothered by his brother's growls while he set his tray on a table beside the bed and took a pitcher from Ember and a platter of empty goblets and bowls from Aurora. We don't get the luxury of having sex whenever we want.

Then he crossed over to the bed and sat beside me, taking my hands in his. How do you feel? he asked, concern marring his brow.

Better. Still sexually frustrated, I forced a smile and then grunted when Aurora jumped on my legs. No, make that teleported, for she was at the foot of the bed one moment, and on top of me the next.

I shouldn't have been surprised when Shiri came into the room. I supposed my mates and I would never get privacy again. My sister placed a hand on my forehead, her brow marred as she checked for fever just as our mother used to do to us when we were young. "Isa wishes to speak to us." She pulled away, smiling softly down at me. "Do you have the strength to walk?"

"I'll carry her," Ash grumbled.

Tonight, my love, I projected to him as he swept me into his arms. I'll make sure we have alone time.

His brow furrowed as his eyes swirled with desire. We may need to run away for alone time.

I cupped his cheek, looking into his silvery blue eyes. A shiver stole up my spine as I recalled this same look of hunger in his eyes the night we met. I'd spent only one night in their arms, and then the next three years I was so consumed in plotting the death of the king I'd thought killed them that I barely ate or slept. I was hardly a mother when I couldn't even take care of myself. My white magic should've bloomed and strengthened, but instead it was corrupted by a venomous hate that poisoned my very soul. No wonder my parents sent me with the mind spinner.

Tari

AFTER THE SATYR PRIESTESSES dressed Shiri and me in robes of the smoothest silk, Ash carried me up the ramp to the outside without complaint, though my big, strong shifter could've easily carried someone thrice my weight. Ember and Aurora complained their legs were tired, so Finn placed one child on each of his broad shoulders. They held onto his head and crossed their ankles while beaming. Finn was such a loving papa. The girls were lucky to have him. I frowned, realizing I could hardly be a mother to them until after these demons were defeated. I wondered, though, if my time would always be preoccupied with the demands of being a white witch, and if I would ever truly be the mother they deserved. The thought was a heavy weight on my soul.

Shiri and her mates walked with us. Her mouth was drawn as she looked at me. What's wrong, sister? she projected through thought.

I don't think I'll ever have time to be a good mother, I answered in thought as well, flames of guilt warming my chest.

You're saving the world to keep them safe. I can't think of a better way to show them you love them. Besides, they have Finn. She nodded toward my mate as he raced up the ramp, the girls giggling as they bounced on his shoulders. They are well loved. That's what matters most.

I swallowed back my emotion while silently nodding. She was right, and Finn seemed perfectly content taking care of them. I only wished I could spend more time with them, too. Perhaps one day .

Isa and Triss were waiting outside, sitting in front of the temple entrance, pink hues from the setting sun at their backs and lighting up the membranes in their wings in myriad hues of fire. They sat upright, their tails wrapped around their paws, their chins held high. High Priestess Esther stood in Isa's shadow, hands crossed in front of her, the expression on her face unreadable. Behind them, hundreds of wyverns perched on the tops of the trees, eyeing us curiously while Radnor circled overhead, his agonized cries piercing my heart. I wondered how long it would take Isa to forgive her mate, if she forgave him at all.

A trail of fireflies greeted us, swirling around my feet and buzzing around my head before flying off, and though they didn't speak to me through thought, I understood their greetings as if for the first time. Odd, how it felt as if nature itself was speaking to me through them. I had never felt so connected with the outside elements before. Time seemed to stand still as I took in our surroundings, seeing everything through new eyes, from the energy in the particles of dust that floated through the air to the whisper in the warm breeze that tickled my nape.

For the first time, I felt alive, truly alive, and I realized it was the full might of my magic waking up as if it had been in a deep slumber. That magic must've been connected to my memories. If love fueled magic, then loving memories of my family had been the fuel I'd been lacking.

Triss squealed when she saw the girls and bound toward us like a playful puppy—though this puppy had the power to crush us underneath her paws.

Ash and Finn let out warning snarls. Shiri's mates jumped in front of us, shooting arcs of fire into the air.

The baby dragon came to a complete stop, whimpering when her mother stomped on her tail and dragged her back.

What have I told you, child? she said on a growl.

Isa rolled her eyes when the hatchling fell on her belly with a dramatic howl.

Do not continue to test my patience, Isa warned her daughter, else you'll regret it.

"May we play with her?" Aurora pleaded.

My gaze shot to Isa.

That is completely up to you, she answered. I know my hatchling can be ... She paused, turning her gaze to the heavens before letting out a sigh. Exuberant.

I nervously eyed Finn, worried the hatchling would play too rough. "Isa says it's okay."

"Don't worry, I'll supervise," Finn reassured me with a wink.

The girls cheered, and Triss sat up, her tongue lolling from her mouth, her tail slapping the ground.

Play too rough, hatchling, and you go underground, Isa warned. And remember, no flying.

Triss whimpered her understanding and laid on her belly while the girls climbed on her. True to his word, Finn stood beside the hatchling, ready to catch the girls if they fell off.

Ash gently set me on my feet, allowing me to lean against him for support.

Isa eyed me through narrowed slits. Good evening, Goddess. How do you feel?

"Like I've been trampled by a herd of dragons," I answered while stretching my sore bones.

She turned up her snout with a low chuckle. Dragons travel in flocks, not herds.

I refrained from rolling my eyes when my sister stepped next to me, nudging my arm. "My sister had a rough night," she said.

Isa arched a scaled brow. Memories come back?

I swallowed back a lump of unease, memories of Thorin's hands on me. "Yes."

I was grateful for Ash, who wrapped a strong arm around my shoulders.

The unpleasant ones are usually the ones you remember first, the dragon said.

Bitter laughter bubbled up in my throat. "Yeah, unpleasant is an understatement."

You're a strong witch. She gave me a challenging look, and I knew she was watching me for weakness. You'll get through it.

In other words, war was looming, and we didn't have time for me to dwell on my trauma. Fireflies swirled around me, leaving behind what looked like trails of fairy dust. Somehow, their presence brought me comfort in addition to Ash's strength pouring into me.

I breathed out a slow breath, pushing thoughts of Thorin from my mind. "The demons are building a fleet of warships to invade the Fae lands, and the human towns are disappearing."

Shiri and her mates gasped. Ash swore while Finn gave us a dark look.

The dragon snarled, steam pouring from her snout. They're either using them as soldiers or eating them.

Shiri repeated aloud to our mates what Isa had said.

I nodded. "Thorin and I came across many human villages that were ghost towns."

Humans have no magical weapons to fight demons. Isa stiffened, her long neck extending to full height. I suspect there are no more human lands. They are the demon lands now. This is all the humans' fault.

"Why is this the humans' fault?" Shiri asked her.

Isa settled into a low crouch, her wings pinned behind her while she crossed her paws. Thousands of years ago after the first demon wars, humans insisted on a separation between the humans and the Fae. Most humans relocated to the south of the Periculian Mountains. A few humans remained in the Fae lands, deciding they'd rather be slaves and servants than demon snacks. All trade routes were cut off. The humans believed the Fae to be the cause of the demon attacks.

Again, Shiri repeated our conversation.

"Were we?" I asked.

Some say it was the Fae, Isa said on a sigh. Some say it was a human witch who summoned the first demons. We will never know. It is why witches are executed in the human lands. They believe that the demons are attracted to magic, and without magic the demons will disappear. What they don't understand is that only magic can destroy these demons. The humans are defenseless without us.

After Shiri filled our mates in on everything, she gave me an unsettling look before saying, "And we won't be able to fight the demons, either, if Thorin takes our memories."

Being overtaken by Thorin was my greatest fear. I swallowed back a knot of panic while smoothing trembling hands down my robe. "I fear the mind spinner won't stop until he has me in his clutches again." I gave my mates a hopeless look, the thought of separating from them again driving a blade through my heart. "That tea I drank last night—will it also protect our memories?" I asked Isa, unable to keep the rattle of panic from my voice.

Her heavy jowls turned down. It should, but there are side effects with prolonged usage.

"Like what side effects?" Shiri asked.

Isa looked her over with an assessing gaze. Your magic will be slower.

I leaned against Ash for support, my legs weak from the panic that coursed through my veins. "Slower as in weaker?"

Slower to gather strength, Isa answered. It's also a calming tea, so it slows everything down like a sedative.

"But it will for sure protect us from the mind spinner's spells?" I asked, needing more reassurance.

It should, Isa said, shadows falling over her features, at least long enough for you to strike him down.

I shared grim looks with Shiri and my mates. "Then we have no choice but to take it."

The dragoness nodded. In the meantime, let's get this demon out of Fachnan's spawn. Enso is ready to make a sacrifice for his goddess.

Isa turned her snout into the air and let out a series of grunts. Thousands of wyverns flew from the treetops, blackening the sky with their flapping wings. Then two broke from the pack, swooping toward us. The rest flew back toward the trees, rattling branches and scattering leaves while scrambling for an open branch.

When the two wyverns landed before me, I recognized Bea with her inky black hide. I didn't know the smaller, gray one, though I assumed him to be Enso. He was missing half a pointy ear and had scars down one side of his face, though he had loving eyes that reminded me too much of Beau when he looked at me. They both sidled up to me, whimpering, and then purring when I scratched their leathery necks.

Icy cold fear leached into my veins at the thought of hurting another wyvern. This little wyvern was Beau's cousin. How could I take his life so easily? And who decided Helian's life was worth more than his? Then again, I wanted that demon out of Helian. The thought of him stuck in that cage forever filled my heart with dread and depression. Goddess, help me. What was I supposed to do?

Tari

I PACED IN FRONT OF the temple, trampling the soft grass underneath my thin slippers while waiting for them to bring Helian, still so conflicted as a heaviness weighed on my heart. Enso didn't make my decision easier as he followed at my heels like a lovestruck puppy, his mannerisms reminding me too much of Beau. And though I didn't speak his language, I could feel his longing for acceptance in the marrow of my bones. I imagined his life as a wyvern hadn't been an easy one. The runt of the pack, he'd been bullied while desperately seeking acceptance and love. By sacrificing his body for the mate of a goddess, he believed he could finally earn that love. What a horrible way to gain acceptance. I couldn't do this to him, though Isa said I would shame him if I refused his sacrifice.

I nervously twisted the hem of my belt around my fingers as the last of the sun's rays disappeared behind the trees. Isa had lit a fire, and my family stood around it, their gazes darting between Enso, me, and the shadowy wyvern figures perched on the tops of every leafy tree, the thick limbs swaying beneath their weight. Only my daughters seemed unbothered, too preoccupied with climbing all over Triss like she was their personal playground. Triss rolled onto her back like a puppy, her tail slapping the ground while she made playful grunts.

My heart caught in my throat when I heard the rattle of chains and footsteps echo from inside the pyramid. I stopped pacing, giving Isa a pleading look. "I feel like we ask too much of Enso."

Enso is a willing volunteer. She eyed me coolly from beneath heavy lids. He is honored to serve his goddess.

How do you know this? I asked, still not convinced this was the right decision. Can you mind-speak wyverns?

They have a simple language, she said, but, yes, I can mind-speak with them as well as other dragons. Speaking to a wyvern is like a Fae speaking to a child.

Helian stumbled out of the temple wearing a wrinkled and soiled gray robe, his bare feet caked in dirt. He was being dragged by two broad-shouldered satyrs in gray robes.

"Don't let her do it!" His eyes flashed red and his voice was deeper than I remember. "The wyverns will kill Enso after it's done."

A shiver coursed through me, for I knew that was Helian's demon speaking. It took me a moment to process what he'd said. "What?"

"Look at how they stare." The demon in Helian nodded toward the treetops where thousands of wyverns stared down at us like devils surveying the pit of hell. "They're ready to pounce."

I gasped, clutching my throat. "Is this true?" I asked Isa. "Will the wyverns kill Enso?"

No. She puffed up her chest, her nostrils flaring. That is a cruel and dishonorable death. I will kill him with my dragon fire.

I gaped at her. "What?"

She shook her head, clucking her tongue. Did you think I'd let a demon have wyvern strength?

"That's not fair to Enso." I waved toward the wyvern, my heart plummeting when he bound up to me and licked my cheek.

Enso already knows this, Isa spat, glaring down at me as if I was her errant hatchling. He is happy to sacrifice his life for you.

"But I'm not happy." I threw up my hands in frustration. "First Beau, now Enso. I can't let any more wyverns die for me."

"Anya." Helian's voice broke as the red glow disappeared from his eyes. "You can't be serious."

I gaped at him while he seemed to be waging a war within himself, his face contorting and shifting from Helian back to a creature with gray skin and red eyes. Was the demon gaining more power? Helian fell to his knees, his chains rattling as he cried out while grappling for control of the demon within him. The two big satyrs holding Helian's chains grunted while trying to restrain him as his arms bulked up and tore at his robe.

The demon is trying to take over, Isa said. Helian has a strong will, but I fear he won't last long. We need to get this over with.

Enso whimpered, stumbling back, and for the first time I saw the fear in his eyes.

I stepped toward Helian, wishing there was some other way I could rid him of this demon. If I could put my hands on him, maybe I could drive it out with my white magic.

Ash swore then snarled, flashing his fangs while pushing me back. "Don't even think about it," he said on a low growl.

Isa blew out a ring of smoke so thick it fogged the air and clouded my vision. Coughing, I fanned my face while leaning against Ash.

There is no greater honor than for wyverns to sacrifice themselves for their goddess. Isa's voice echoed in my skull. His sacrifice ensures he will go to the heavens with our goddess Maiadra where he will live out an eternity serving her alongside his cousin Frode, or as you like to call him, Beau.

The smoke cleared as quickly as it had appeared, and I looked into Isa's luminous eyes as she hovered over me.

"How old is Enso? He doesn't look as big as Beau." I looked at Enso, noting how he whimpered and trembled. He was having second thoughts, yet Isa was trying to force him to go through with it.

She let out an aggravated groan. She was frustrated with me, though I didn't care. I refused to live with the regret of killing Enso, especially not with Beau's death weighing so heavily on my heart.

He is a tad younger than Beau, she finally answered.

I motioned toward him as he sidled up to me. "What happened to his ear and his face?"

He lost a fight with another wyvern during mating season, she said on a slur, sounding almost disinterested, as if this small wyvern's life held no value.

"So he doesn't have a mate?" Shiri asked.

Isa shook her head. This is one reason why he volunteers now. He must find a way to restore his honor.

I hung my head, tears misting my eyes. "I can't let him die."

"What about me, Anya?" Helian begged.

My gaze shot to his, and I cringed at the pain reflecting in his eyes. "We'll find another way."

"Another way?" He stumbled to his feet, a dangerous and desperate look in his eyes as ugly gray veins protruded on his forehead and neck. "This is the way! He's already volunteered for the job!"

"I can't do it, Helian." I took a step back, pressing against Ash. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" He threw up his hands, which grew so big, I feared they'd bust the chains binding him. "Try having a fucking demon living inside your body!"

Ash let out a roar and pushed me behind him, fur sprouting along his neck and back. "Swear at our mate again!"

"I'm sorry, Anya." Helian hung his head and fell back onto his knees, his fists shrinking back to normal size. "I'm just so miserable."

Esther stepped forward, motioning to Helian's guards. "Take him back to his cell."

"No, wait!" Helian kicked and screamed while they dragged him back. "Anya, please! Anya!" His anguished cries that echoed through the pyramid were like needles stabbing into my heart.

Shiri squeezed my hand. "Hey, you okay?"

I looked at my sister through a sheen of tears while my knees trembled. "I will be."

My sister frowned, taking me in her arms, and that's when I gave in to my tears. Isa's judgment be damned. My heart was shattered, and I refused to hide it.