Chapter Twenty-Nine

“I’ll check on Anna one more time,” I told Dante. He squeezed my hand briefly, a rare public display of affection, which meant all the more because of its rarity. I could tell that he was slightly nervous. For a father to give his daughter away in marriage was a major step, and for someone as protective as Dante in particular.

“Talk her out of it,” Leonas muttered under his breath.

Dante gave him a warning look.

Leonas had made his opinion blatantly clear. He thought it was a mistake to marry Anna off to Clifford. He and Dante had butted heads on several occasions because of it. He’d been against the marriage from the start. At first, I’d thought on principle to oppose Dante’s decision. As most sons in our world, he tried to rebel against his dad’s authority, at least in private.

I shook my head at him. Now wasn’t the time or place for him to express himself. I knew boys, contradicted their fathers on principle, but he needed to know his boundaries. He was already eighteen and had to learn to accept his father’s decisions.

I turned and headed to the side door before I slipped into the hallway behind it that led to the room where Anna could gather herself one more time before the ceremony.

Sofia left the room. As one of Anna’s best friends, she’d helped Anna get ready. Worry flooded me when I saw her expression. She quickly smoothed it when she spotted me, but I’d seen the concern on hers.

“Sofia,” I said with a small smile. “What’s the matter? Is Anna feeling unwell?”

“No, no,” Sofia said quickly. “She’s perfectly fine. Just a tad worried about Santino still. She feels guilty.”

Of course, this was about Santino. I’d felt increasingly strange vibes between him and Anna since their return to Chicago.

Anna had been very close-lipped which had made me even more suspicious. Something had happened between them, but they both knew better than to show it. I hadn’t mentioned my concerns to Dante. He would have interrogated Santino and possibly drawn conclusions that would have cost the latter his life.

Over the years, I’d sometimes questioned my decision to have Santino guard Anna. He’d done his duty and done it well, but I knew I wasn’t privy to everything that had happened.

As a mother, it was a bitter pill to swallow that your daughter didn’t confide in you. It made me doubt myself and my relationship with Anna. I’d always thought we had a very close bond. Maybe I was being too sensitive, which was probably linked to my oldest daughter becoming a wife today.

“Santino did his duty,” I told Sofia.

Sofia nodded, but I could tell my words made no impact. I hoped Anna had shared whatever bothered her with her friend.

“I’ll go to Anna now, and your husband is probably already looking for you.”

Sofia gave me a quick smile before she lifted the hem of the green bridesmaid dress and hurried back to church.

I headed toward the door at the end of the hallway and knocked.

It took almost a minute for Anna to answer. “Come in!”

I slipped in, my heart beating faster upon seeing Anna in her wedding dress. She was impossibly beautiful. But then my eyes landed on her face, and it was off. She was smiling at me, but it was a smile I never wanted to see from my daughter, especially on her wedding day.

It was forced and careful.

“You look beautiful,” I said slowly as I closed the door so we could talk in private.

“Thank you. The dress is very beautiful.”

“It’s stunning.”

I’d been a bit disappointed when Anna had chosen not to design her own dress, nor the bridesmaid dresses. She had so much talent and it would have made her special day even more special.

I walked up to Anna’s side and touched her shoulder. “Is there something you want to talk about?”

Anna gave me an amused look. “Please don’t give me the talk, Mom. It’s a little too late for that.”

I gave a quick laugh. I wasn’t caught up in some old-fashioned fantasy that Anna hadn’t made certain experiences while she was abroad. I actually hoped she had, considering Clifford hadn’t held back either. “I know. That’s not what I meant. Maybe you have something else you want to talk about.”

Anna’s expression didn’t give anything away. She reminded me of Dante in that moment. She could be hot-headed and stubborn like myself, but when it really mattered, she became Dante. Her expression softened at the look on my face. She shouldn’t be the one feeling like she needed to console me. “I’ll be fine, Mom. Today I’ll do my duty like every member of our family has always done.”

We’d raised both Anna and Leonas with a strong sense of duty and responsibility. Anna had accepted it outwardly, determined to do us proud. Leonas was more vocal with his protest, and often fought against any kind of rule. With Bea, we’d allowed more freedom, and I sometimes wondered if we should have done the same with Leonas and Anna.

But duty was such a big part of our existence…

“I want you to be happy, more than anything.”

“When you agreed to marry Dad, you didn’t think you could be happy.”

I laughed. “Don’t use my story as yours.” I paused. “I wasn’t emotionally drawn to anyone else. That’s a big difference.”

Anna gave me a curious look. “Neither am I. I don’t have feelings for anyone. I’m sure Clifford and I will find a mutual understanding that’ll make our life agreeable.”

“Spoken like a true politician’s wife.”

“I practiced.”

I nodded but felt even sadder after Anna’s words. Anna was such a passionate woman. I wasn’t sure the confines she was agreeing to in a marriage with Clifford would really suit her. “I met Sofia in the hallway. She told me you still feel guilty because of Santino.”

“I can’t help it but I can handle it, Mom,” Anna said smoothly.

I sighed. “I’ll always be on your side, Anna. No matter what. I know you feel like you can’t share certain things with me, but nothing you could do or say would make me love you any less. From the second you made me a mom, my love for you has been unconditional and it’ll always be.”

“Mom. I can’t cry now.” She hugged me briefly. “I’ll be fine. But thank you.” She didn’t release me immediately. “I love you too.”

I swallowed, wanting to say so much more, but Anna was right. I shouldn’t make her cry. A knock sounded.

“Come in,” Anna said, sounding more composed than I felt.

Dante poked his head in, looking mildly concerned when he found Anna and me close together, and the hot feeling in my eyes probably didn’t go unnoticed either.

“The ceremony is about to start. Is everything okay here?”

His eyes searched mine, trying to find a silent answer to his question. I stepped back from Anna. He finally registered Anna’s dress and took another step in. For anyone who didn’t know him, it would look as if he wasn’t touched by the sight, but his eyes told me a different story. Anna was a gorgeous bride. She was how I’d imagined her. The only thing missing was that she was in love. It was something I’d always wished for her, but our world made impossibly difficult.

“Everything is fine,” Anna assured him with the smile she only had for him. It reminded me of her little girl smiles.

“You look very beautiful.”

“You should go now, or this wedding won’t ever start,” she told me with a teasing smile.

“I’d like another quick word with your mother,” Dante said.

I gave her a quick peck on the cheek before I followed Dante outside. He closed the door, then gave me a searching look. “What is the matter, Val? I don’t like the look on your face.”

“This is a mistake. I can feel it.”

Dante raised one eyebrow. “Val, you suggested a bond with the Clarks, and I think it’s a good move.”

I nodded slowly, because back then I’d been convinced of it, and I still considered a connection to the political elite of Chicago an advantageous move, but I couldn’t see Anna in a bond with Clifford.

“Did Anna say anything? Doesn’t she want to go through with the bond?”

“No, no, she didn’t say anything.”

I wished she had. We wouldn’t have forced her if she’d ever opposed the marriage.

Dante took my hand. “You should return to your seat, Val.”

He probably thought I was being emotional because today marked the day I’d really have to let Anna go, accept that she was grown up and no longer our little girl, but it wasn’t that, at least not only that.

“Do you want me to accompany you back to your seat?”

I huffed. “I’m fine. I’m not sick, only worried and emotional.”

Dante kissed my lips, something he would have never done if we were in public. We protected something that was too precious to share it with people, who in great parts, weren’t friends. “Go ahead.”

I headed back toward the church where I sank down beside Bea and Leonas. The latter raised his eyebrows in silent question. He reminded me more of Dante every day, even if their personalities were different, albeit not as different as Leonas liked to pretend. Soon after, the music began playing.

Clifford waited at the front, a pleasant expression on his face. He, like men in our world, had been raised to keep a mask in public, albeit for different reasons, and his was less hostile. As a politician, he wanted to appear approachable, not foreboding like Made Man, but despite this, I could sense the high barriers he’d built around himself. Anna had mentioned it once, that she feared he’d never lower them for her either because in his family nobody did. We considered our family our safe place, but Clifford didn’t.

When Anna walked down the aisle toward Clifford with the public smile I detested my worry only increased. Clifford and Anna’s eyes briefly met when Dante handed her over to him. The public smiles never wavered.

I rubbed my wedding ring as I listened to the priest, feeling more and more uneasy. Anna’s face didn’t give anything away. She looked stunning and her smile was what everyone expected from a bride on her wedding day, but I knew her too well. True happiness didn’t reflect in her eyes.

I tried to catch Anna’s eyes, to once again let her know with my expression that I was fine with whatever she decided. But she didn’t look my way, maybe because she knew what she’d see and didn’t want to be weakened in her resolve.

Clifford didn’t hesitate when the priest asked him. His yes carried conviction. I didn’t know him well enough to gauge the truth behind his demeanor. When it was Anna’s turn to pick up Clifford’s ring, I wanted to speak up, to stop this bond, but this was Anna’s decision, and I’d support her no matter what.