Chapter Three

It took me two days and a few thousand dollars of bribe money to find out where Gray was. My old contacts had been leery of me, as expected, and hadn’t been willing to hand over information as a favor. I’d barely left the last biker bar alive but at least with information about Gunnar’s newest hiding place. Word about me becoming a traitor had made the rounds far quicker than I’d anticipated.

And not just that, people knew that I had killed Earl. That was information only very few people had, and one of them had obviously spilled the beans gladly, probably in the hopes to have me killed soon.

I had my suspicions. Luca might have let me go because Marcella asked him to, but he’d prefer it if I never returned to her. He wanted me dead. I had no doubt about it. I wouldn’t have pegged him the sneaky type, but desperate times…

Of course, he wasn’t the only one who knew about me killing Earl. Matteo, Amo, Marcella, and Growl at least… maybe more of Luca’s soldiers. Except for Marcella, each of them could have let the information slip to dispose of me.

The hut where Gunnar hid with a few other bikers wasn’t surrounded by a fence like our last clubhouse had been but that didn’t mean it was less protected. Gunnar had a penchant for booby traps. Something he’d learned in his time in the military and later refined as part of the prepper scene. I parked my bike down the dirt road that led up to the hut. There were three tire tracks, deep grooves that had been forced into the ground over time. It only made sense that people kept to the tracks if there was danger around them. The problem was I didn’t trust all three tracks to be equally safe. I had a feeling one of them at least was a trap and hid several bombs waiting to tear me apart. I scanned the ground left and right of the dirt road, hoping for a sign that it was safe there. But the grass hid possible tracks and bombs from the eye. Not to mention that I had never been good at track work. That had been Gray’s thing. My best bet was to choose one of the tracks on the dirt road and hope for the best.

I stood on my tiptoes to get a better view of the hut. After a few seconds, I spotted the roof of a truck. If Gunnar and his friends used the truck, they might use this track to get up there, then only the outer tracks would be safe. Unless they used a back road I didn’t know anything about or didn’t use the truck at all… from my vantage point, I couldn’t even see if the thing was still in working condition.

Taking a deep breath, I started my bike again and was about to ride in the outer left track when a voice called, “I wouldn’t pick that track if I were you.”

My head shot up, my eyes going wide then my lips pulled into a smile as I spotted Gray. He didn’t look happy in the slightest to see me. He was still in his Tartarus cut. Seeing it tightened my chest. Until recently, I’d gone nowhere without my cut, only taking it off for sleep, and occasionally sex, though most ladies loved to see me in it.

Behind him, Gunnar appeared too, looking even unhappier. Even from a distance, I could see the fat lump on his forehead, close to his temple, where I’d hit him. “What ya doing here, Maddox? You aren’t welcome here.”

“I come in peace. We need to talk.”

Gray shook his head. I wasn’t sure if he didn’t believe that I came in peace or if he didn’t want to talk to me.

“Word is you’re one of Vitiello’s henchmen now, Mad. Killing bikers is your new job. Not sure I want you anywhere near me and my friends,” Gray shouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

“If I wanted to kill you, I could have done it in the clubhouse. I don’t want either of you dead, and I’m not one of Vitiello’s henchmen, all right?”

They didn’t need to know that my future job description entailed hunting down Earl supporters.

Gray shook his head again, muttering something to Gunnar. It was driving me crazy that he was too far away to hear what he was going on about.

“Can I come up to talk?”

Gunnar pointed a warning finger at me. “Drop your weapons, and don’t try to fuck us up, Mad. I used to like you but I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

“I’m dropping my guns now.” I removed the gun and the knife from my boot and my belt and put them down on the ground in a very obvious way. Despite what had happened, I still felt a certain amount of trust in these two. Maybe it was foolish nostalgia. “Done.”

“Our friends inside the hut have a very nervous trigger finger—”

“I get it,” I interrupted Gunnar. “I mess up and you kill me. I’ll behave, I swear.”

“What’s your swear even worth?” Gray shouted. “You’re a liar and a cheat.”

“You can pick the left track,” Gunnar said. “The middle’s a bad idea.”

I glanced to Gray who had warned me about the left track, then back to Gunnar.

“The kid’s a bit pissed at you for killing his old man,” Gunnar explained.

Gray turned around and stalked away, leaving me with the choice of whom to trust. Gunnar and I had been on many runs. I liked him, more than all the others. But Gray was my brother, and a hotheaded teenager who’d lost his dad and club.

“Fuck,” I muttered. Taking another deep breath, I picked the left track and started my bike. My heart galloped like a wild horse when my tire touched the track and I practically held my breath all the way up to the driveway where Gunnar waited for me with a gun in hand.

I let out a laugh when I came to a stop, overwhelmed with relief that I hadn’t been torn into tiny pieces.

“Turn off the engine,” Gunnar ordered, still the gun pointed at my head.

I did as he said and raised my hands over my head with a wry smile. “Come on, Gunnar. We aren’t enemies. I have nothing against you. I didn’t kill you. And you didn’t kill me. I call that even.”

“You destroyed the club,” Gunnar muttered, jabbing a finger at the Tartarus emblem over his chest. “Or have you forgotten?”

“I didn’t destroy anything. Earl did when he started torturing Marcella. That was messed up. He got off track. You know it, and many of the Nomads know it too. It’s why they left in the first place.”

Gunnar eyed me. “I won’t say you should have talked to Earl because we both know how that would have ended. But you could have put yourself up for vote as the new prez.”

“Most of the men who remained in the club were loyal to Earl. It’s why they stayed and didn’t become Nomads. I wouldn’t have won and Earl would have definitely killed me then. He wanted me dead in the end. He tried killing me first, so I’m not sad I killed him.”

Gunnar shrugged. “The chapter’s dead too.”

“It doesn’t have to be. You and the other Nomads could build it up again, with the ideals it used to have. Brotherhood, and freedom. Not money, revenge, and drugs.”

A part of the original Tartarus chapter was still in Texas and a few smaller chapters were scattered all over the East Coast. But the heart of Tartarus had always been Earl’s main chapter, which had followed him from Texas to Jersey.

“And who should become prez? Gray?” He scoffed. “He’s a boy.”

“He’s too young,” I agreed. “You could do the job until Gray’s ready to take over.”

Gunnar smiled. “I’m not a leader. I don’t want to tell these guys what to do. I just want to ride my bike, drink a beer, and have a good time with my brothers. That’s it.”

“Then pick someone else. What about Roland? He’s well-connected and everyone likes him.”

Roland had been one of the last to become a Nomad. He and I had gotten along well.

“Everyone likes him, you said it. Ever seen a prez who earned the respect of a biker gang by being a nice guy?”

I nodded at the gun in Gunnar’s hand. “How about you put that away? Like I said, I come in peace. You aren’t the people I have a grudge against.”

“So you’re still on the hunt?”

“Not on the hunt but I’ll keep an eye out for Earl’s old crew. I don’t want trouble but I won’t wait for it to be brought to my doorstep.”

“You mean your girl’s doorstep?”

I didn’t confirm nor deny it, but Gunnar laughed. “Fuck, she’s got you by the balls.”

“Like Barb got you.”

Gunnar shrugged. “Barb knows her place in club life. Your girl doesn’t. You’ll have to give up the life you’re used to, the life you swore your life to. She won’t be an Old Lady.”

“She’s who she is, and I am who I am. We can remain who we are and still be together.”

“You sure? I can’t see you banging pass-arounds or riding your bike all night while being her old man’s lapdog.”

“I won’t be anyone’s lapdog, and it’s not like you’ve been banging anyone else but Barb in a while.”

Gunnar gave me a finger.

I knew he made valid points. My life was going to change drastically once Marcella and I were really together. It had already changed the moment I betrayed my club and killed Earl. I wasn’t sure yet how everything would work out, how our lives would look five years from now, but I knew I wanted it to be with Marcella. It was still a shocking thought, one I’d never considered myself ever having. But Marcella had changed everything, to a degree, even myself.

“You could lead the new Tartarus, you know?” Gunnar said quietly, shocking me.

“You said it yourself, I burned down most of what Tartarus was and killed not just Earl but other bikers. I doubt I’d get many votes if I put myself up for president. They’d hang me from the next tree.”

“They might or you convince them that you’re willing to create something better.”

I chuckled and got off my bike. “Gunnar, you were holding me at gunpoint because you didn’t trust me. These guys know me even less, and what they know about me are the rumors about my betrayal and Earl’s murder. They won’t listen, they’ll shoot me, and I can’t even blame them.”

Gunnar shrugged. “I would consider giving you my vote. I don’t like how you handled things, don’t like you having the hots for the Italian princess, but I think you could be a great prez.”

I shook my head again. I’d always wanted to be prez of Tartarus. For a long time, I’d pushed the thought aside because Gray was Earl’s rightful heir, and now I had to push it aside again. Being prez of a motorcycle club, especially Tartarus with its backstory, and being the man at Marcella’s side (and I sure as fuck wanted to be the man at her side) was impossible.

“Think about it. There are more pretty girls out there. Maybe even prettier than the Italian princess.”

I gave him a doubtful look.

He shrugged. “Maybe not more beautiful. But they’d do.”

I approached Gunnar and patted his shoulder. “Thanks. But it’s not just her looks. Marcella is the queen I didn’t know I needed in my life. There’s no one else I’d like to be led around by the balls by.” I glanced at the hut, spotting three heads watching us through dirt-covered windows. I bet each of those guys had a gun in their hand.

“Is Gray in there?”

“There’s a small stream down the hill. He goes there when he needs to think.” Gunnar stopped me with a hand on the shoulder. “The boy hasn’t only lost his father, he also lost his brother.”

“He didn’t lose me.”

“Until a few minutes ago, he didn’t know that and maybe he still doesn’t. You could be his enemy. Maybe I’m a fool for thinking you aren’t mine too.”

“I’m not your enemy, Gunnar, and definitely not Gray’s.”

“Then tell him. The kid’s lost.”

I stifled my guilt. My decisions hadn’t only affected me. They’d affected Gray too. “Make sure these guys don’t put a hole in my head, all right?”

I clambered down a rough pathway meandering through woods as I followed the sound of rushing water. Gray was sitting on a massive stone, smoking and glaring down at the stream.

Gray didn’t look up even though he must have heard my steps. His shoulders stiffened though. From close up, he looked haggard, as if he’d lost considerable weight in the few days we hadn’t seen each other.

I stopped beside him, not saying anything at first. I wanted him to start this conversation, to give me an easy in. For once I was being the coward, but guilt always made me uncomfortable.

Eventually I cleared my throat. Gray flicked away the cigarette. He looked older than I remembered him and a fresh cut marred his left cheek.

“Won’t you say something?” I asked.

Still nothing.

“Maybe explain why you wanted to kill me by sending me along the mined track?”

I had to admit it fucking hurt thinking that Gray wanted me dead, that he hated me enough to want to see me being ripped apart by a booby trap. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.

“Swear that you didn’t kill our father,” he whispered.

“He was your father and not a very good one.”

Gray’s eyes widened in realization. “You really killed him!”

He pushed to his feet and shoved my chest, making me stumble back a step. “You killed our father!”

I raised my hands. I had absolutely no intention of fighting with Gray. “He wasn’t the man we both wanted him to be.”

“So what? He took you in and raised you, and you betrayed and killed him.”

“Mom raised us, and Earl made us part of Tartarus. We were more his soldiers than his sons, you know that.”

“You had no right to kill him!” Gray turned away, wiping over his eyes angrily. He was still a boy in many regards. He didn’t have Earl’s or my toughness yet, he had a soft heart. That would probably change eventually, especially if he kept living the MC life but I didn’t want it to happen to him. For some reason, I imagined Gray living his life as a musician, touring small clubs with his guitar and singing corny love songs to sweet small-town girls.

“It was either me killing him, or Luca Vitiello. Would you have really preferred for Earl to die at the hands of that madman?”

I doubt I could have killed Earl as easily if the situation had been different. Despite the aversion between us in the end and him trying to have me eaten by dogs, he had been a father figure for most of my life.

“He wouldn’t have had to die if you hadn’t given Vitiello our location. You betrayed us and the club. You betrayed me.”

I realized for the first time that Gray wasn’t only pissed and sad, he was also hurt by my actions. His eyes brimmed with pain. I tried to touch his shoulder but he stepped out of reach and so I dropped my hand. “You know why I did it. I explained it to you. And I never meant to betray you, Gray. You hated what we’d done as much as I did. You aren’t someone who’d ever hurt an innocent woman. But Earl didn’t want to listen to reason.”

Gray sank back down on the stone and lit another cigarette.

“Have a smoke for me?” I asked. I had enough cigarettes in my back pocket but I wanted to see what Gray would say. He held out his packet to me without a word. I took a cigarette and Gray gave me fire.

“I didn’t want you to be killed by booby traps,” he muttered.

I cocked an eyebrow in doubt.

Gray shrugged. “I was certain you wouldn’t listen to me. Nobody ever does.”

“I would have listened if Gunnar hadn’t interfered.”

“I would have stopped you.”

I decided to believe him. The situation between us was messed up enough. I didn’t want to pour fuel into the fire. “What happened to your cheek?”

“I defended you. When the guys started saying you killed Earl, I got into a fight. I pulled a knife. They did too, and one of them cut my cheek.”

“You’re lucky they didn’t kill you. Knife fights aren’t your specialty, Gray.”

Gray glared. “I shouldn’t have defended you. That was my mistake. They were right after all. You killed him. I thought the Italians were spreading rumors to get you killed.”

“Do you know who spread the rumors about me?” I asked.

Gray shook his head. “I stayed away from the mob. I wouldn’t have listened to them anyway. And I didn’t listen to Roland and the other guys either when they told me. They probably know names.”

I’d have to talk to them then. I needed to find the mole who wanted me dead. Though the list was getting longer and longer by the day.

Gray met my gaze, a reproachful glint in his eyes. “What do you want? You aren’t welcome here. Half of Tartarus wants your head. I doubt you’re here to see me.”

“I am. I was worried about you,” I said.

Gray scoffed. “I escaped the Famiglia. I can survive on my own.”

“I know.” I finally took a pull from my cigarette which had burned down halfway by now. “What does the other half of Tartarus want?” I asked curiously.

Gray glowered. “They thought Earl needed to be reined in and think that’s what you did. They are wary of you because of the Italians though. Are you really working for them?”

“Not for them, but I’m working with them to find those who are still loyal to Earl and who intend to finish what he couldn’t. I’ll protect Marcella no matter the cost.”

Gray’s mouth twisted. “Everyone’s saying she’s leading you around by the balls because she wants to use you.”

“Marcella doesn’t have reason to use me. Once her father saved her, she could have dropped me like a hot potato, but she made sure I was safe.”

“You love her?”

I’d been pondering that question myself even after I told her. I’d never told a girl I loved her before, and I wasn’t sure how to really know when you crossed the line between having a crush and really loving someone but giving up the life you knew for someone seemed like a pretty good indicator.

“I do.”

Gray nodded.

“Does Gunnar know who spread the rumors about me?” I wanted to change the topic. Talking emotions, especially love, with Gray made me uncomfortable. I preferred to keep my emotions and thoughts to myself.

“Gunnar stayed away from the Italians like I did. He barely escaped alive.”

I had been surprised that Gunnar had made it out alive, I had to admit, but his obsession with survival training must have come in handy.

“You think it’s safe for me to talk to the guys in the hut to see if they can tell me more?”

Gray nodded. “Gunnar’s really pissed at you, in case you’re wondering. More than the others anyway. So if anyone kills you, it would be him.”

Gunnar didn’t seem overly hostile, at least not more than could be expected. If I had been in his stead, I would have been pissed too.

“Who are the guys with Gunnar? He said Roland was there.”

“Roland came back this morning after running a few errands. We needed money, The others are just a couple of guys who left in the early days of Earl’s revenge quest. Richie, Kurt, and Bean.”

I remembered all of the guys, but I hadn’t talked to them in forever. “And none of them are going to put a bullet in my head?”

“Like I said, if Gunnar didn’t kill you, they probably won’t either. The people who want you dead aren’t in our group. But Earl still has many supporters, especially down in Texas. They might try to kill you and Marcella. You can trust my word, I’d never betray you,” Gray muttered. “You can leave if you think I’m leading you into a trap.”

“I trust you, Gray,” I said, but I had to admit I felt a hint of wariness. Maybe it was just my general distrustful nature. “You should leave here and come with me. I can take you to Mom. She’s worried about you.”

“I won’t come with you. There’s nothing for me to return to. I’m too old to move in with Mom again.”

I didn’t point out that he was still seventeen and thus technically supposed to live with Mom. We both had hardly ever experienced a standard family life, so why start now?

“You could come with me…” I wasn’t even sure where I’d live. I didn’t have a place to stay. Living in one of Tartarus’ old hubs seemed like a bad idea. I had money now but finding an apartment in the city would still take time. And I doubted Luca would allow me to sleep in Marcella’s room. The thought almost made me smile but at the same time the realization that I actually considered living under the same roof with Marcella scared the living shit out of me. Fuck, this was getting serious in my brain. Could I really do that? Especially with the additional complication of Marcella’s family?

“I won’t get anywhere near the Italians,” Gray muttered.

“Stay out of trouble, all right?”

“I think you should listen to your own advice. More people want you dead than me.”

I grinned bitterly. “I intend to find out who they are and eliminate as many as possible.”