Chapter Twelve

I rode through New York until the late hours. I preferred the hum of my bike to the deafening silence in my new apartment. I’d never lived alone. Most of my life I’d lived under the same roof with loud-mouthed bikers. Silence was foreign to me.

I had on occasion felt lonely in the past, especially when I was younger and trying to find my place in Earl’s house and in the club. But afterward, I’d always had the company of my biker brothers or club girls. Now I didn’t have anyone to turn to.

The people I’d once called brothers were far away and possibly the enemy, and the people I’d called the enemy? Still wanted me dead. My list of enemies was stacking up dangerously high. And the woman who was the reason for everything? I couldn’t even see her to convince myself that it was worth it.

I was becoming a fucking pussy.

When I returned to my place shortly after midnight with a six pack of beer to keep me company, I realized that I’d missed three messages while on the road. One was from Luca, one was from Growl and the last was from Marcella.

I opened the latter first, worried she’d needed me and I hadn’t seen her message in time.

But all it said was,

You are right. They’re going to be pissed because of the crown.

P.S. I miss you.

I grinned and quickly typed a reply.

I hope I’ll get to see their stupid faces when you reveal the tattoo.

P.S. I miss you too.

I shook my head. I’d never texted with a girl like this, telling her I missed her, any kind of emotional bullshit really.

After a gulp of my beer, I opened Luca’s message.

Be at Growl’s at nine am.

No greeting, no reason why, just a simple order.

I wrote and deleted several replies that would have given me plenty of satisfaction, but probably would have made Luca less inclined to let Marcella see me.

I emptied the rest of my bottle before I finally wrote,

Yes, boss.

He’d probably realize the hidden sarcasm but it was the best I could do.

Now the message from Growl wasn’t all that surprising. I opened it.

If you want, you can have breakfast with the shelter crew at 8.

I smiled. Growl was really an okay guy.

I’ll be there. Should I bring anything?

I’d actually never been invited to breakfast. It was such an ordinary thing to do, especially considering how Growl looked.

Be hungry.

That wouldn’t be the problem. I’d spent the last few mornings eating stale gas station donuts and coffee that had a chicken-broth aftertaste.

When I pulled up in the driveway of the shelter, Growl’s car was already parked in front of the house. Another car I had never seen before was parked right beside it.

I felt strangely nervous, which was completely ridiculous. But this felt like the first test of many to become part of Marcella’s world, and while I’d never wanted to be part of it, I did now because of her. Even in my wildest dreams, I couldn’t imagine Marcella as an old lady who spoke only when spoken to and accepted the wild lifestyle of a motorcycle club. Either I became part of her world, or our worlds would never merge.

The door to the house opened and Growl waved me in.

I was surprised to find a beautiful woman with brown hair in her late thirties inside preparing pancakes and hash browns. Two massively muscled pitbulls sat beside her. A tattoo peeked out under her high ponytail and it was obvious that she was very fit.

“Your wife?” I asked Growl.

Pride and adoration filled his harsh face. “Yes, my wife Cara.”

Cara turned, wiped her hands on a dishtowel and came toward me, followed by her two dogs. She held out her hand with a warm smile. “Nice to meet you. Growl told me a lot about you.”

I grimaced. “I doubt anything good.”

She shook her head with a smile at her husband. “Actually, most of it was good.”

I glanced at Growl, who looked mildly uncomfortable.

He went into the next room and gruffly ordered the shelter kids to come in for breakfast. Soon everyone was gathered around the old wooden table. Four shelter kids who looked as if they’d had it at least as rough as the dogs in the kennels outside, Cara, Growl, and me.

Conversations mostly revolved around the dogs, and for a while I forgot that there even existed something like the enmity between the Famiglia and what was left of Tartarus.

The sound of an engine made Growl get up from his place. Soon Cara and the guys disappeared.

“Luca arrived with a few other soldiers you’ll probably be working with soon.”

I followed Growl’s gaze out toward the black limousines that had pulled up. Luca got out of the first car. A part of me hoped Marcella would be with him but I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t get out. Luca probably didn’t want his men to see us together so soon—if ever.

Three men followed Luca into the kitchen, all of them around my age, I would guess.

I told them what I knew about former hiding places of Tartarus but stayed vague when it came to Gunnar and my brother. I might be working with Luca for Marcella but now that she was safe, I wouldn’t put my brother in more danger than he already was.

The three men by Luca’s side-eyed me with suspicion but neither of them was particularly unfriendly. I didn’t trust them anyway. Maybe it was habit. At this point it was difficult to say if I could trust my instincts. My enemy compass was completely out of whack.

After a two-hour meeting, the three soldiers left in one of the limousines but Luca stayed.

“I guess you’ll stay to watch Marcella?” I guessed, not bothering to hide my annoyance. Marcella was nineteen, not nine, a fact that Luca obviously preferred to ignore.

“Growl will keep an eye on her. I can trust my men. I’m only here to tell you that you’ll do a few missions with my men once your injuries have healed.”

“Thanks for your concern. I’m fit enough.”

Luca ignored my comment and got up. He was on his way down the driveway when another car arrived. This time Marcella got out of it.

Like last time I’d seen her at the shelter, she was in jeans and a simple tee, looking like an ordinary girl. If a girl like Marcella could ever really be called ordinary. She always stood out no matter what she did.

Luca and Marcella exchanged a few words before he finally, thankfully, took his leave. I headed out of the house and toward her, eager to meet her. Her face lit up when she spotted me, but a hint of tension remained.

Steps sounded behind me and I didn’t have to turn around to know that Growl was following me to keep watch.

I didn’t give a fuck. I was tired of keeping my distance to the woman that haunted my dreams.

I wrapped my arms around Marcella, lifted her off the ground and kissed her passionately. She made a sound of surprise against my lips but didn’t pull away. When we finally pulled apart, Growl was only a few steps away.

Growl glowered at me before he sent Marcella a questioning look. “Is he allowed to be so close to you?”

I really liked him most of the time but in moments like this I wanted to kick his tattooed ass.

“I want him close,” Marcella said, her expression taking on a stubborn gleam. As if to get her point across, she pressed up to my side, daring Growl to argue with her. He didn’t, but I could tell he didn’t like it. For him, only her father’s ruling mattered.

“Relax, Growl. Marcella and I have been alone before, and I can protect her. Nobody will hurt her as long as she’s with me.” I wrapped my arm around Marcella’s narrow waist and winked at her.

“Maddox and I want to talk alone. We’ll be over at the kennels, you won’t have to follow us,” Marcella said.

“You know Luca gave me clear orders,” Growl muttered, not necessarily hostile.

“Dad trusts me.”

“I come in peace, Growl. How about you show us where the dogs that I saved are? I’d like to say hi to them.”

Growl’s suspicion was replaced by interest immediately. “They’re doing better, but the one with the infected gash on its side is still struggling, and both are malnourished but are slowly gaining weight.”

Marcella gave me a knowing look. She was clever enough to realize I’d mentioned the dogs to get on Growl’s good side. He was too big of an animal lover to pass up on the chance to talk about the two saved beasts.

“Follow me. I’m keeping them away from the other dogs for now. They got riled up when they saw the others,” Growl said.

Growl obviously was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, but I wasn’t sure if the rest of Luca’s men and especially Marcella’s family would do the same. Still, I saw today as a step in the right direction.

I linked hands with Marcella, and for once she allowed the public display of affection, though it wasn’t really all that public.

The bigger Rottweiler rested on a huge dog cushion, its side bandaged. The other dog trotted over to us and regarded us curiously. Neither of them looked aggressive in the slightest. I patted it through the bars before Marcella and I moved to another cage where Growl kept Santana. She jumped up against the cage when she spotted Marcella.

“She missed you.”

Marcella smiled and opened the cage, allowing Santana out. The dog briefly sniffed at me but then danced around Marcella’s legs again. Marcella grabbed a leash and put Santana on it. “How about we take a short walk with her? She needs to get used to the leash,” Marcella said.

Santana shook her head and bit into the leash, obviously not too keen on it.

“In the past, being put on the leash always meant that she was taken to the dog fights. I guess that’s why she hates it so much,” I said.

Marcella’s face softened with pity. “I never thought about it but I’m sure you’re right.”

We followed a narrow trail into the woods behind the shelter. To my relief, Growl didn’t follow us.

“Finally,” I said.

Marcella glanced behind us then up at me. “I know it’s annoying that my father always has people watch us, but eventually he’ll see that you can be trusted.”

We eventually came to a clearing where Marcella released the dog from the leash so it could run around a bit.

I pulled her against me again and kissed her. Not bothering to waste any time, I dipped my tongue into her, tasting her. Marcella sighed against my mouth, her body softening against mine. My hands cupped her ass, squeezing, and enjoying the moan she let out. I wasn’t the only one who was horny obviously. I allowed my lips to trail down her throat to her clavicles while I kept massaging her ass cheeks. I traced one of my hands to her front and slid it below her t-shirt, my fingers finding her bra before dipping below. When I touched her nipple, it puckered under the pad of my finger. Both Marcella and I groaned.

Marcella pulled back and was about to kiss me again but then her eyes darted to something behind me.

“She’s watching us,” Marcella mumbled.

I followed her gaze. The Rottweiler sat on its haunches and watched us, panting. “She won’t tell on us, don’t worry.”

Marcella rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I mean, but it’s kind of strange to have her watch us, don’t you think?”

“Snow White, I’m horny as fuck. An angry bear could be watching us and I’d still eat you out like my last treat.”

Marcella raised one dark eyebrow. “You aren’t eating me out yet.”

“Oh, but I’ll be doing it in a few minutes from now.” I kissed her again, my fingers teasing her nipple, twisting and tugging the little nub until Marcella was writhing against me. She tore her lips away from mine, looking up at me with hooded eyes. “Don’t you remember that I said I want to take things slow.”

“Does that mean you don’t want me to take care of you?” I said in a low voice.

The conflict shone in her eyes. If I were a better person, I would have stopped teasing her nipple and squeezing her perky ass cheek to make the decision easier for her. But I’d never in my life desired a woman more than I did Marcella. And not just that. “I just want to be close to you after the shitshow of the last few days. I want to remind myself why it’s worth it.”

“Do you need reminding?”

“When I look at you, that’s reminder enough, but whenever I see you, I just want to be as close to you as possible.”

Marcella stood on her tiptoes and captured my lips for another kiss. “I know what you mean. I feel the same way. I promised myself to take things slow because it seemed like the reasonable thing to do considering how our relationship had started.”

Surprise washed through me hearing her say that she considered what we had a relationship.

Maddox looked stunned by my comment.

“You don’t think we’re in a relationship?”

Maddox let out a disbelieving laugh. “Girl, I want you to be my woman. I want everyone to know. Of course, I want us to be in a relationship so I can tell everyone that you’re mine and that they need to stay the fuck away from you. But so far you’ve kept me at arm’s length especially in public. I wasn’t sure you knew what you wanted. Maybe you only wanted a bit of fun with me.”

Maddox was right. I hadn’t owned up to my feelings for Maddox in public. “I’m being a coward. I know. But I just need a little more time to make us public but that doesn’t mean I don’t want us to be together behind closed doors. Is that enough for you for now?”

“I take whatever you’re willing and ready to give me.”

I pushed up on my tiptoes and kissed Maddox even harder. He didn’t need any encouragement though. His fingers slipped back inside my bra and tugged at my nipple in the most delicious way. The sensations spread all the way to my pulsating center.

“I need you,” I whispered.

“I’m here,” Maddox murmured.

“I need your touch, your mouth.”

Maddox fell to his knees before me without warning and shoved my shirt up, leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses on my naked belly while his fingers unbuttoned my jeans. When the last button popped open, he tugged my jeans and panties down impatiently.

My eyes darted to Santana once more. She’d stretched out on the grass and was watching us through half closed eyes. I wished she would just sleep. I wasn’t sure if I could let loose with her watching us like that.

Maddox tugged at the legs of my jeans until I stepped out of them, standing in the middle of the woods completely naked from my belly down. I was about to voice my uncertainty, but then Maddox pressed a firm kiss to my mount, right against my clit. I gasped and held on to his head.

Any protest died on my mouth as Maddox dove between my folds, teasing my clit with his piercing. I threw my head back, staring up at the cloudy sky as Maddox circled my nub.

“Part your legs for me, Snow White, so I can really taste you.”

I widened my stance, feeling the cool autumn air touch my heated flesh before Maddox’s mouth covered it once more. I moaned when his tongue pushed into me. My hips rocked back and force driving him deeper.

I rode Maddox’s tongue with abandon, sliding back and forth, almost delirious from the feel of it against my clit. Maddox allowed me to chase my own pleasure, to take it. He watched me and eventually I returned his gaze, ignoring my hesitation and embarrassment, and enjoying to see how Maddox gave me pleasure with his lips and tongue. He smirked against my pussy and cupped my clit with his lips. My entire being seemed to bundle in this small spot until the sensations radiated outward and through my entire body.

I tensed and gasped as the wave of pleasure overcame me. My legs nearly gave in but Maddox’s strong hands on my hips kept me steady. As I allowed the waves of my orgasm to claim my body, I was unable to move, but Maddox kept up the gentle ministrations of his tongue, and every stroke of it along my sensitive flesh sent another shockwave of pleasure through me. I fought against the louder sounds wanting to burst out of me.

My lips parted. I let my head fall back, breathing heavily as I stared up at the sky. Maddox’s lips closed around my clit, and at first the sensations were too much and I wanted to push him away, but he softened his approach and only lightly teased me with his lips until I began to rock against him again. I was drunk on this feeling, on Maddox’ touch, on him, drunk on the way he made me feel, not just with his fingers and mouth and cock, but also with his smile, his words, his closeness, especially how I felt like I was enough when I was with him, allowed to be imperfect.

A twig snapped and I froze. Maddox pulled away, wiping his mouth before he stood. He looked around.

“Was I too loud? Do you think someone saw us? Maybe Growl?”

Maddox gave me a wry smile and pulled me against him once more. “You weren’t loud enough, if you ask me. Next time I want you to scream out my name.”

I nudged his shoulder, glancing around once more. “I don’t want Growl to tell Dad he caught us having sex in the middle of the woods.”

“We weren’t having sex, but I’m up for it.” Seeing my annoyed expression, he added, “I doubt it was Growl. He seems like a guy who knows how to stalk someone without making his presence known. I bet it was one of the horny teenage boys.”

My cheeks flamed. “You really think someone saw us?” I’d hoped it had been my imagination.

Another twig snapped and this time Maddox tore away from me and raced into the line of trees. More twigs broke and steps thundered away. Then someone cried out and a dull thud sounded.

I scrambled for my underwear and jeans and quickly got dressed. Two minutes later, Maddox appeared again, dragging one of the shelter boys behind him by his collar. Maddox held a phone in his hand. “Caught this one trying to send a video of us off to his friends.”

The color drained from my face. “Did he send it off?” I asked, not able to hide my panic. Dad would freak out, and after my striptease video, this one would make even bigger waves. I’d definitely never have to worry about my reputation again.

“I got to him in time. But we need to tell Growl. He needs to know that this kid planned to release material of the Capo’s daughter.”

“Don’t tell him!” the kid begged, but Maddox shoved him to the ground, looking furious. “Shut up. You’re lucky I didn’t ram my knife into your heart.”

I put Santana back on the leash and Maddox, the boy and I made our way back to the house.

This showed me again that Maddox and I would always have to be careful what we did in public, even when we thought we were alone outside of our homes. People were eager to get more information about me, especially if it was something as scandalous as public intercourse.

Growl immediately headed our way when he spotted Maddox dragging the kid behind him.

“What happened?” he asked, scanning me from head to toe. I’d checked twice if I was dressed properly and my hair wasn’t disheveled, but I still felt as if he could see in my face that I’d allowed Maddox to go down on me in the woods.

“The kid recorded Marcella and me and was about to send the video to some friends when I confiscated the thing.”

The look that Growl gave the boy would have terrified even hardened men. “Is that true?”

The boy nodded. “You know I’m low on money. There are people who would pay good money for something about her.”

Growl stalked toward Maddox and took the kid from him, grabbing him by the throat, but he looked at me. “What kind of video?”

My cheeks heated. “A very private moment.”

Maddox gave me a dirty smile and I sent him my best death glare.

“Give me the phone,” Growl ordered. Maddox handed it to him.

“Don’t watch it,” I said firmly. “As I said, it’s private.”

“I just wanted to check if he really didn’t send it off.”

“He didn’t,” Maddox muttered. “I checked. I know how to operate a phone.”

Growl nodded. He seemed almost relieved. He probably didn’t want to risk seeing more of me by accident. He respected Dad too much.

“What now?” I asked with a nod toward the kid.

“I’ll have to call your father and give him a report.”

“The kid isn’t a member of the Famiglia, so he isn’t Dad’s concern but yours.”

“The kid tried to mess with you so he’s your father’s concern,” Growl rasped.

“Do you really want to be responsible for the death of one of your shelter kids?” It was a low blow but I really didn’t want Dad to get involved. He’d only get angry at Maddox again, when it had been both our decision to get it on in the woods.

Growl peered down at the kid who’d started sniffling, looking absolutely miserable and scared shitless since my father had been mentioned.

Growl finally gave a terse nod. “All right. This one time.” He grabbed the kid again. “If you ever do anything like this again, I’ll kill you myself. Got it? It’ll be an act of mercy.”

The kid nodded rapidly.

Maddox and I went over to his bike.

“When will you ride with me?” he asked when he mounted his Harley. Growl was getting his car ready to take me home.

“Give my dad a few more weeks to get used to you, okay? He told me you’ll be working with a few of his men in the next few weeks to search Tartarus warehouses and hiding places.”

“I doubt we’ll find anything of interest. Even the stupidest asshole won’t come anywhere near the city now that Earl’s dead and rumor has it that I’m working with the Famiglia.”

“What about your brother? Is he safe?”

“For now. But living the life he does, safety really isn’t a top priority.”

“Dad won’t go after him, right?”

“I won’t lead him to my brother and if Gray’s half as clever as I think he’ll make sure to stay far away from your father and his men.”

“Good,” I said then I wrapped my arms around Maddox’s neck. “Maybe you can accompany me to the mayor’s part in a few weeks.”

His eyebrows shot up. “You sure?”

“Not as my official date,” I amended. “But as my bodyguard? So people get used to you as part of the Famiglia and won’t be too shocked once we reveal we’re together.”

“From what I hear, people are talking about it anyway.”

“I know, but I want to reveal this part of my life on my own terms and not bow to the force of speculations.”

Maddox nodded with a small, tense smile. “Then I’ll be your bodyguard.”

I kissed him. “Be patient with me. This is all new to me. I used to be a complete control freak when it came to my public appearances. So many things are now out of my control since the kidnapping, I at least want to decide when to make our relationship official.”

Maddox took my hand and kissed my palm. “I’ll be patient as long as you need me to. After how badly I fucked up, I’m just happy that you want me in your life at all and didn’t let your old man kill me like he wants to do.”

“Thanks, Maddox.”