Chapter Twenty-five

Felix

Darien checked his watch again, and I wished I had something to say that would make him less twitchy. But, truth be told, I was equally nervous. I was just doing a better job of hiding it than he was. It seemed years of practice in prison of not letting my emotions show on the outside were finally proving fruitful.

“It’s not too late to call and postpone,” I pointed out. I didn’t say cancel because if Darien and I were going to be a thing—and it seemed we were, Darien shooting down my attempt at sacrificing my happiness for the greater good with three simple words—then I couldn’t put off meeting his brother forever.

Darien rearranged the plates on the table for the umpteenth time. He’d cautiously suggested that I might want to make something snacky, that Hayden would appreciate the gesture. I’d run with it and gone completely overboard, conjuring up mini quiches, mini scotch eggs, vol au vents with three different fillings because I hadn’t been able to decide which to go for, and something which I’d forgotten the name of, but that Darien as official taster had assured me tasted delicious. Darien was apparently expecting the photographer for House & Home magazine to drop round if his constant desire to show them off to best effect was any indication. I placed my hand over his and stilled his movements. “It will be fine.”

“Will it?”

“Yes. Because if it goes badly, it doesn’t matter. He’s not going to drive me away, and I’m presuming it won’t make you dump me?” I waited for his nod. “Well, there you go, then. Besides…” I sat back in my chair and looked as relaxed as I could. “I dealt with far worse people in prison. Unless he’s going to come at me with a shiv, I can handle it.”

“Hayden’s not really a shiv type of guy. It’d be more likely to be a ridiculously expensive Japanese kitchen knife. And you’re lucky because he wouldn’t want to get blood on it or risk blunting it.”

I laughed and tugged Darien down for a kiss, the novelty of being able to do that whenever I wanted unlikely to wear off anytime soon. Or possibly ever. While I had a grip on him, I pulled him onto my lap. At least there, he couldn’t keep messing with the plates. Darien sighed. “Seriously, though… Hayden will be a dick because… Well, because it’s Hayden and he usually makes a terrible first impression. You have to get to know him to see the softer side of him. He has one, honest. Ask Levi.”

“Well, I presumed he wouldn’t be marrying him if Hayden was permanently a dick. I’ll look forward to getting to know your brother better and seeing him let his guard down.” We both knew there was a possibility of my background rendering that impossible, but it didn’t need saying .

Darien trailed his fingers over my cheek with a softness in his eyes that was addictive. “I thought you were scary when I first met you.”

I turned my head into his palm, dropping a kiss on the soft skin I found there. “No, you didn’t. You thought I was hot.”

Darien’s lips twitched. “I thought you were hot. Then when you flipped out, I thought you were scary and hot.”

“You pressed the wrong button.”

Darien’s hand slid between my legs, his palm curling around my cock. “What about this button?”

I closed my thighs, trapping his hand so he couldn’t remove it even if he wanted to. “That’s definitely the right button. You have to rub it, though, rather than press it.”

“Yeah? And what happens if I do?” Darien’s lips were close enough to mine that we shared the same air.

“Things get messy.”

“Sounds…” He never got to finish his statement, a knock on the door making Darien jump to his feet. “Fuck!” He readjusted himself in his jeans, his cheeks flushed.

“Later,” I promised.

“Later,” he agreed as he went to answer the door.

I stood, not wanting to look like I was taking Darien’s brother’s arrival too casually. Despite what I’d said to Darien, I knew the way I approached this meeting would be crucial for the future. If I lost my temper… If I handled things the wrong way, it would make things far more difficult for Darien and I didn’t want him to have to take sides.

It was probably too much to hope I could be friends with Hayden, but I’d settle for civility. I had to meet him halfway to achieve that, though, which meant not letting myself get triggered. Even if he called me a murdering bastard, I needed to remember Darien and smile for his sake. I hoped Hayden would feel the same to a degree .

Quiet conversation preceded the kitchen door opening and the three men stepping inside. Darien had already warned me his brother looked nothing like him, explaining that Hayden had been adopted, so it didn’t come as a surprise that he had dark hair and gray eyes, where Darien was fair with blue eyes.

Darien cleared his throat, his body language awkward. “Felix, this is Hayden and Levi.” He waved a hand my way. “This is Felix.”

Levi immediately stepped forward and held out his hand. I accepted it gladly, and we shook. “Nice to meet you,” I said.

Hayden didn’t offer his hand. I guess you couldn’t expect miracles. Being a dick and shaking hands didn’t go together. I offered him a nod, and he returned it reluctantly, the movement barely one at all.

“I’ll… er… put the kettle on,” Darien said. He jerked his head toward the table. “Have a seat.”

While I retook the seat I’d recently vacated, Hayden, either by accident or on purpose, and I suspected the latter, took the one as far from me as he could manage. Levi seated himself between us, presumably in case he needed to referee.

Silence descended. Aware of Hayden’s eyes on me, I watched Darien make the tea, his movements characteristic of someone doing their best to look relaxed while being anything but. I was jealous he had something to do and gave serious contemplation to getting up and offering to hold the teaspoon, or watch the kettle for him.

“So…” Hayden said after less than a minute, his tone no-nonsense. “You’re innocent, are you?”

Darien spun round to glare at his brother. “For fuck’s sake! Can’t you wait five minutes? The kettle hasn’t even boiled.”

“It’s fine,” I assured him. “Hayden’s just being direct. I can respect that.” I didn’t like it and was already having second thoughts about whether the silence had been that bad, but I could respect it .

“Why don’t you tell us what happened?” Levi suggested. “It might help us have a clearer picture.”

Darien rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to do that. They’re not judge and jury. I know you’re telling the truth and that’s all that matters.”

I threw him a smile. Julian might have caused him to waver in his steadfastness the other day, but since it had all come to a head, he’d been nothing but supportive. Was still being supportive. “It’s a fair question to ask,” I stated. “Your brother just wants to know I won’t murder you in your bed.”

“His brother,” Hayden stated with steel in his voice, “would murder you himself if that were ever to happen. Consider that your official warning.”

Levi sighed. “Just a suggestion, but perhaps we could have this conversation without making threats.” He reached over and squeezed Hayden’s arm to soften his words. “You know, dial the testosterone back a bit.”

Hayden leaned back in his chair, his gaze never leaving mine. “Well? It’s not a secret, is it?”

I met his stare. Not in a combative way, but hopefully in a way that showed him I was being sincere. “I have nothing to say that didn’t come out in court. The issue is them believing I was spinning them a yarn, that things couldn’t have happened the way I said.”

Hayden shrugged. “I wasn’t in court and I’d like to hear it.”

Darien delivered two mugs of tea to the table, the one placed in front of his brother deposited with far more force than Levi’s, some of the tea ending up on the table. Hayden didn’t notice, his expectant gaze still on me. I took a deep breath and reminded myself not to get angry, that it was perfectly normal for a brother to express concern, especially when circumstances were the way they were. “My ex-boyfriend was abusive. ”

“In what way?” Hayden asked as Darien placed a mug in front of me before sitting down with his own.

“Every way,” Darien said.

Hayden lifted his finger to point at me. “I want him to tell the story.”

I bet he did. While he studied me for any sign that I was lying. That couldn’t have been any clearer if he’d pulled a spotlight out of his back pocket and shone it on me. No doubt, if Darien wasn’t here, he wouldn’t hesitate to use Chinese water torture. Lucky for me then that I was telling the truth. “Physically and emotionally.”

Hayden cocked his head to one side. “And you just let him?”

There it was. That same question again. The one that followed me around wherever I went. “Physically, yes, because I wasn’t up for getting into a brawl with the man I thought I loved. And as for emotionally… I didn’t even recognize he was emotionally abusive until it was already too late. A perfect example of not being able to see the forest for the trees.” I turned my mug, so the handle was in a different place without taking a drink. “He was cheating on me with Lily Reynolds. She wasn’t the first. First girl, maybe, but there were other men, no matter how much he denied it. He murdered her. He got rid of her body using my car. I knew nothing about it. He lied and tried to put it all on me. He wasn’t completely successful, but it was enough to put me behind bars for seven years. End of story.”

“He’s telling the truth,” Darien stated, demonstrating his support once more.

Hayden was still staring at me. “Let’s say I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt and trust Darien’s judgment in this. And it’s a big if. I’d want to know what your intentions are toward my brother? ”

Darien snorted. “Oh, for God’s sake! This isn’t Victorian times and I’m not a damsel whose reputation is going to be left in ruins by the disreputable rake.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Not your personal reputation, maybe, but your professional one is at risk.”

I winced at Levi getting straight to the crux of the matter. Darien only sat up straighter, though, his gaze mutinous and his jaw set. “I’ve been thinking about that and I’ve already booked a meeting with my supervisor for early next week. I’m going to come clean about what’s been going on.”

“You’re going to do what?” The words burst out of me before I could think to censor myself. “Are you crazy?”

“Much as it pains me to agree with him…” Hayden waved a hand my way. “What he said.”

“I’ve thought it through,” Darien said, his voice never wavering. “And it’s the right thing to do. Things will be far worse for me if it comes out, anyway. Which, I don’t see how it can’t. It’s just a matter of time.”

Hayden ran a hand through his hair, leaving bits of it sticking up in tufts. “They’ll suspend you.”

Darien nodded. “Yep.”

“What about your clients?” Levi asked.

Darien sighed. “It’s not ideal, but”—his gaze swept my way with a softness in his eyes—“much as it pains me to say it, there are more important things in life.”

Hayden’s snort was loud, Darien narrowing his eyes at him. “Don’t go all judgmental on me when Levi’s sat right there. You should know more than anyone that sometimes we do what’s necessary when love’s involved. ”

“And is it?” Hayden asked, his tone sharp. “Have you really fallen that deep down the rabbit hole?”

“Not a rabbit hole,” Darien said, impatience creeping into his tone for the first time. “And yes, I love Felix. And if I lose my job because of it, so be it.”

“And you?” Hayden’s eyes were assessing as his focus switched back to me. “Do you love my brother?”

I considered the question. When Darien had told me he loved me, I’d been pole-axed by it. Enough that I hadn’t said it back and still hadn’t a few days later. Did I really want other people present the first time I said it?

To not say it when it was true would be unfair, though. Instead of looking at Hayden, I snagged Darien’s gaze, making it clear my words were for him and him alone. “Yes, I love him.”

Darien’s smile was immediate, the warmth in his eyes enough to sustain a man on a freezing cold day. Why had I held back? Because of Julian? Probably. He was, after all, the only man I’d ever said those words to before, and look how that had turned out. Darien was not Julian, though, and I trusted him implicitly.

Hayden let out a breath. “I guess I’m stuck with you, then.” His gaze dropped to the array of plates on the table no one had touched. “I have no idea why you thought buying this stuff would soften me up. Where did you get it from, anyway?” He picked up one of the vol au vents and studied it like someone else might examine an archeological relic they were struggling to identify. He’d chosen the one with smoked trout, horseradish, and asparagus.

“I didn’t buy them,” Darien said. “Felix made them.”

Hayden blinked. “Huh!” he brought the vol au vent closer to his nose and gave it a cautious sniff .

“They don’t have arsenic in,” I said. “I couldn’t get hold of any.” Given my history and the fact that Hayden was still on the fence about my proposed innocence, it probably wasn’t the wisest quip to make, but I’d been well-behaved so far. Surely, I deserved at least one dig.

Hayden bit off half of it and chewed while Levi reached for one of the wild mushroom and parmesan ones. Levi’s face lit up within a few moments of chewing. “Wow! These are good. Not that I have the most sophisticated palate.”

Hayden shot him a fond look, and I saw a hint of the softness toward his fiancé that Darien had told me about. “Sweetheart, you don’t even have a palate.”

Levi didn’t argue, simply smiling like it wasn’t the first, third, or even the fifth time his fiancé had informed him of that fact.

The minutes that followed were excruciating as Hayden insisted on taking a bite out of everything, all without making a single comment. Finally, he sat back in his chair. “You clearly have some talent for cooking.” He said it the way another man might have complimented me on having a big cock.

I shrugged. “I enjoy making things. I used to potter about in the kitchen a lot before I went to prison.”

Hayden cocked his head to one side and studied me. Darien was trying not to smirk. I suspected Levi was too, but I didn’t know him well enough to know for sure. I was obviously missing something. “Hmm…” Hayden finally said. “Maybe if you stay with my brother for longer than two minutes and make him happy, we could discuss a job at the restaurant if that’s something you’d be interested in? Something extremely junior. But there’s always scope to work your way up.”

“Something extremely junior where he’d shout at you a lot,” Levi added .

“Yeah, I mean… I’d definitely be interested.” However I’d seen this meeting going, it certainly hadn’t been with it ending in an offer of a job. Reality quickly sank its claws into me, though. “I have a recognizable face. I’m not sure you’d want that in your restaurant.”

Hayden shrugged. “You’d be in the kitchen, not out front. And if any of my staff have an issue with whom I choose to hire, they know where the door is. Quinn’s Brasserie isn’t a democracy.”

Levi lifted his mug in a mock toast. “Welcome to Hayden’s work policies. I can’t complain, seeing as I benefitted from them when I got out of prison.”

The rest of the afternoon went relatively smoothly, with Hayden being a lot less antagonistic. Even so, I breathed a sigh of relief when they finally left and the door closed in their wake to leave me alone with Darien.

“Did you mean it?” he asked straightaway. “Or did you say it to get him off your back? Because I completely understand if that was the reason, but I’d like to know. Just for my peace of mind.”

It took a moment to work out what he was referring to, my vow of love obviously having been on his mind. Luckily, it was a simple question to answer with no obfuscation needed. “I meant it. I love you.”

Darien’s smile was everything.