Chapter Sixteen

Darien

The weekend came and went without me mentioning Felix finding somewhere else to stay. And before I knew it, he’d been here a week. And then ten days. The truth was—as hard as it was to admit to myself—I liked him being here. I got to come home from work to someone rather than an empty house; he cooked dinner—the culinary delights of that first night, apparently not a fluke—and I got to share my love of bizarre documentaries with someone, even if Felix teased me mercilessly for it. And last but not least, were the nights.

Keeping our sexual escapades in the spare room had lasted all of two nights, my willpower as weak as my flesh. Ever since then Felix had slept in my bed, his things gradually finding their way in there as well until there were zero reasons he even needed to return to the spare room. Now, we fucked and then curled up together, my fall from grace a spectacular one .

There were several cliches I could use about mine and Felix’s relationship, but the one that kept coming to mind was, that if this was wrong, I never wanted to be right. Because, when it came down to it, I was happy. Especially when, with every passing day, Felix softened. The snarling dog he’d once described as being part of his personality was either sleeping, or it had run off one day when he’d stepped outside the door.

The sofa gave as Felix plonked himself next to me. Clad only in black shorts which showed off his muscular thighs, and a sleeveless white T-shirt, he was the epitome of male beauty, my heart rate picking up and my cock stirring. He scooted along the sofa until our shoulders touched. “So… what are we watching tonight? My decade living as a horse? My torrid weekend with Bigfoot? The man with a penis as long as a snake?”

I treated him to my best glare. “None of those are real.”

“If they were, you’d watch them.”

I couldn’t maintain my serious expression any longer, a laugh bubbling up. “I would. Especially the last one. Although, I imagine it would be an angsty one. A tale of people looking but not touching, and sex being extremely difficult if not impossible.”

Felix smirked. “You’re not up for taking a penis as long as a snake? Where’s your sense of adventure? Where’s your willingness to sacrifice yourself for the greater good?” He let out a dramatic sigh. “I guess you’ll have to make do with mine, then. You take that one beautifully with zero complaints, and with a lot of moaning.”

Oh hell! Now I was as hard as a rock, Felix’s smile turning smug. He did an impression of a moan that I assumed was meant to be me, but that only inflamed me more because all my brain computed was that he was moaning, and I wanted to hear it again. I leaned forward to kiss him, his mouth opening under mine, the two of us proving once again how sexually compatible we were.

When my phone rang, I moaned for a different reason as I tore my mouth from Felix’s. “Ignore it,” he said, his voice having taken on that timbre that made me go weak at the knees.

I struggled upright, the two of us in our passion having sunk sideways on the sofa. “It might be important.”

“You’re off the clock.”

“It might be a client who needs me.”

Felix reached for me. “I’m a client who needs you.”

“Very funny.”

“Who’s joking?”

I rescued my phone, real life coming crashing back at the sight of the name on the screen. “It’s Katherine. You can’t say anything.”

Felix’s expression turned earnest. “I won’t.”

“Promise.”

“I promise. I would never do anything to jeopardize your job.” He frowned, presumably thinking the same thing that I was, that by being here, he was doing just that.

Maybe it was stupid, but I put the phone on speaker, wanting Felix to know I trusted him to keep his word. “Hey, Katherine. How’s Oliver?”

She blew out a breath. “Running me absolutely ragged. And I’ve never been happier.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. Is he in bed?”

“Yeah, he is. Sleeping like a…” She laughed. “Well, a baby, funnily enough. Greg’s away at a work conference, so I wanted some adult conversation.”

“But you rang me instead.”

“I rang you instead.”

Felix sat cross-legged on the sofa so he could face me, the position providing an interesting view up his shorts to reveal he’d gone commando. His chin rested on his hands and he seemed to find something about the conversation fascinating. Lord only knew why.

“I tried Emily first,” Katherine continued, “but she didn’t pick up. She’s still hoping for a second date, by the way, while we’re on the subject. She said you were sweet and handsome and charming, and she liked the fact that you were a complete gentleman at the end of the night and didn’t try anything. Actually, she said that, but I think she was secretly disappointed.”

I snuck a glance at Felix to find his eyebrow raised. He mouthed “Emily?” at me and I shook my head.

“So what do you say?” Katherine asked.

“To what?”

“To a second date with Emily?”

I chose my words carefully so as not to offend. “I don’t think we’re a good match.”

“No? Shame! I had this fantasy about the four of us… Shit! Five now… I keep forgetting… going on holiday together. Who else can I set you up with?”

“No one. I’m fine on my own.” I didn’t look at Felix this time, not wanting to see what expression I might find.

“Fine. Grow old with only cats for company. See if I care.”

I laughed. “I don’t have any cats.”

“You’d better hurry up and get some, then. Or you won’t even have cats for company.”

“You give such good advice.”

“I know. I should start charging. Speaking of advice, how’s your problem client? I saw the papers got wind of him being out of prison. That was always going to happen eventually, given the notoriety of the case.”

It was a toss-up which of us had grown more still, me or Felix. I guess I hadn’t considered him becoming a topic of discussion when I’d put the phone on speaker, and now I was stuck with that decision. “He’s okay. He’s not a problem.”

“No?”

“No… Listen, I’m going to have to go. Someone’s at the door.” I didn’t enjoy lying to a friend, but I enjoyed discussing Felix while he was sitting next to me, even less. Either way, I’d have to lie because I could hardly tell Katherine that I’d moved him in and the two of us were at it like rabbits.

“Oh… okay. Just remember that advice I gave you.”

“Bye Katherine. Speak soon.” I hung up before she could really set the cat among the pigeons and tell me again not to fall for Felix.

I’d barely ended the call when the man himself was pressing me back against the sofa cushions. “If I’m a problem client, I better start living up to it.”

I let my thighs fall open, Felix settling between them. “You know what she meant.”

“The snarling dog,” he said.

“The snarling dog,” I agreed. “What happened to him?” It was a brave question to ask, one that risked that same snarling dog coming out as a defense mechanism.

“Someone threw him a bone, and he’s busy gnawing on it.”

As analogies went, it was a strange one, but I took the meaning from it as him not needing the dog, that he felt secure enough to keep it at bay.

Felix’s fingers found their way between my legs to curl around my cock, the organ having wilted during my conversation with Katherine—which I’m sure she’d be glad to know—and now making a revival with Felix’s touch. “Who’s Emily?”

“What?” I couldn’t think with him massaging me.

“Emily? The women you apparently went on a date with. Should I be jealous?”

“Would you be?” Felix might live here, but we didn’t really talk. We hadn’t labeled what was going on between us, or discussed the future. We existed in a one-day-at-a-time bubble.

“Yes.”

His answer sent an electric thrill coursing through me. Jealousy was an admission of feelings that went beyond sex. Did I want that? It seemed I did if it made me happy. “There’s no need to be. It was one date. She talked about her ex-husband all night while I strategized how I could end it without coming across as rude and upsetting Katherine or Emily.”

Felix shifted his position to kneel between my thighs, his fingers on the waistband of my sweatpants. “Lift up.” I did, Felix peeling the fabric over my thighs and taking my underwear with it to leave my cock bare to his gaze. He leaned forward, hot breath playing over the tip. “Strange, that it didn’t go better. You know, given you prefer women.”

I laughed. How could I not, lying there with my cock hard against my belly, desperate for Felix to blow me?

He peered up at me, his eyes more smoky than stormy. “Is she pretty?”

“Not as pretty as you.”

His lips quirked. “I bet she’s not as good at giving blow jobs either.”

I wrapped my hand around the back of Felix’s skull and attempted to drag him closer. Although his hair had grown some since leaving prison, there still wasn’t enough to grab hold of. “I doubt anyone is as good as you.”

Felix looked momentarily surprised. “You sweet talker, you.”

“Just saying whatever will get your lips around my cock.” It was a lie, and we both knew it, but it had the desired effect, Felix bending forward and swallowing me down. There was a smile on my face as I closed my eyes and gave myself up to the pleasure.

We carried on in that same cloud of denial and unwillingness to face up to things until day eighteen. Day eighteen was a Saturday, Felix and I whiling it away in bed. Who needed to spend time in the outside world when you could fuck instead?

We were in a post-coital doze, mustering up energy for another round, when my bedroom door opened, the familiar figure of my brother filling it. He had a key to my place and I his. It had seemed sensible in case something happened. Now, with him standing there looking at me like I was an alien, it seemed the stupidest thing in the world.

The sheet slipped down to my waist as I jerked upright, Felix stirring next to me. “Hayden! Jesus! You scared me. What the hell are you doing here? And what’s with you just letting yourself in?”

“I was worried.” Hayden’s words were clipped. “I rang you three times yesterday, and you didn’t pick up. Or ring me back. I even got Levi to ring you in case I’d done something that had pissed you off I wasn’t even aware of, and you didn’t answer his call either. I thought you were ill or lying dead in a ditch or something.”

“Not many ditches around here.” The quip was a cover for the guilt seeping in. I’d meant to ring Hayden back, but what with work, and Felix—mainly Felix, if I was honest—I’d just forgotten. I’d become that guy. The guy who gets so wrapped up in someone, he ignores his family and friends. Now, I was reaping the consequences of that. It didn’t have to be a big deal, though. There were worse crimes than being caught in bed on a Saturday afternoon. I expected Hayden had done it himself a time or ten with Levi. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve been… busy.”

“I can see that.”

There was amusement in Hayden’s voice. We’d laugh about this later and probably establish a few ground rules about possession of the keys to our respective homes, because I no more wanted to walk in on him and Levi than he probably had me. I waved a hand in Felix’s direction, Felix having sat up, but stayed silent throughout our exchange. “This is…”

Hayden’s focus switched from me to Felix, his expression changing from amusement to something darker in the space of a few seconds. It couldn’t be that shocking that I was in bed with a man, could it? I might have dated more women than men in my time, but I’d made no secret of my bisexuality.

“I can see who it is.”

Alarm bells rang immediately, even as I argued Hayden couldn’t possibly mean what I thought. How could he? It had been years ago, and he’d never been into watching the news or reading newspapers.

“I need to talk to you,” Hayden said, his voice tight. “Alone. I’ll meet you downstairs.” He withdrew from the doorway as quickly as he’d appeared, the summons hanging in the air.

I struggled out from the tangled sheets and grabbed a robe, aware of Felix’s eyes on me, but unsure of what I was supposed to say. My heart was beating too fast, and I concentrated on calming myself while I knotted the belt of my robe.

“Do you want me to come with you? ”

I risked a glance at Felix, his brow lined with concern.

“No. Thank you, but no. It’ll be fine.” I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince. Me, Felix, or both of us. “It’s just Hayden.” Hayden, who could be more volatile than most. Hayden, who had a reputation for not keeping his thoughts to himself. Hayden, who was the one person—excluding my parents—whose opinion I cared about.

I couldn’t help feeling as I took the short trip down the stairs to answer Hayden’s summons that this must be what going to your execution felt like.