Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

Butcher

I grinned over at Isla as the women hugged her. Seek had her in a death grip at the moment and Isla had her arms stuck straight out like she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do in this situation. Catching her eyes, I motioned for her to wrap her arms around the other woman.

She glared at me, but did as I asked and I saw the exact moment when she relaxed into the hug. She was closed off and guarded and now I realized it was because the two women in her life who were supposed to love and protect her failed at their job. She'd never had anyone show her affection.

Even I'd had that. My mom wasn't perfect, but she'd tried. So had I. It just wasn't easy for either of us to show each other we cared, but we still tried. I'd had birthday cakes and presents as a kid. Christmas trees and Easter egg hunts. It was why I'd taken Toxic up on his suggestion of sending her money each month. It was my way of paying her back for giving me a decent childhood. She could have easily been like Isla's mother, or worse, her grandmother.

I didn't have the full story yet, but I knew that tone. Had seen others go through their lives with no one plenty of times before. Shit, I'd been there for a while before Lockout came and dragged me into this family.

"Please be careful."

Looking down, I smiled at the hellions. It was Taylor who'd spoken, but they all were on the verge of tears. They were damn perceptive, because no one had told any of the kids what was going down. Why the fuck would we put that kind of burden on children? But they knew. They felt the vibe around the clubhouse over the last few days.

I went down onto one knee so I was closer to eye level with them. "We're just going for a little trip."

Three of the girls gave me looks that said they didn't believe me, but it was Caitlyn who called me out. "We know it's more than that," she said, voice soft and tears in her eyes. She tossed herself into my arms before I had a chance to say anything else.

"We'll all be careful," I promised them as they all hugged me. My thoughts drifted back to the conversation I had with Daryl. I'd doubted I had the capacity for love, but even if he hadn't made me realize it, this moment would have.

Sniffling caught my attention and I looked up. Gwen gave me a watery smile. "Sorry," she said, then cleared her throat. Grace and Sean were waiting patiently for their turn to say goodbye. I hugged both kids, then stood and pulled Gwen in for a hug as well. There was a time when this entire scene would've made me as uncomfortable as Isla was. It just made me realize how far I'd come from day one of showing up at this compound.

Once the women, and kids, had the chance to hug everyone goodbye they went inside the clubhouse, leaving the rest of us outside to get ready to go.

"Don't worry," Cynic said, crossing his arms over his chest, "we'll take care of them. "

"Yeah," Warrant said with a wide smile. "We'll take real good care of them."

Hush turned and glared at him. "The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

There'd been a tone in Warrant's words that had every man on full alert. I wasn't surprised because the fucker had been doing the same thing with Isla since he'd gotten here. I was beginning to wonder if it was just how he was and he didn't even realize he was being a dickhead. The shocked look on his face was currently supporting my theory. He was a good-looking motherfucker and I was betting he'd been perfecting that teasing tone he always used on women since the days his balls dropped. It just seemed etched into his DNA at this point.

"I-" Warrant started to explain.

"That's it, I'm staying," Priest muttered, scowling first at Warrant, then at Lock.

"We need you there, Priest," Lock tells him with a sigh. "You're my best fucking sharpshooter. Plus, I'm counting on you to keep the Saint's Outlaws organized and take out some of these fuckers before they even get to us."

"Someone needs to stay," Smoke said in agreement, shaking his head as he looked over at Warrant.

"He's kidding," Toxic told the group, but he also cast his friend an irritated look.

"I didn't mean it like that guys," Warrant called out, sounding offended. Everyone ignored him.

"Not worth the risk," Ricochet muttered.

"You don't actually think your women would go for that guy, do you?" Hell asked. "I know Kit would kick his ass if he tried anything."

"I don't steal other men's women," Warrant sputtered. "Especially not men I consider my brothers." He shook his head, a mix of disbelief and humor on his face because everyone was still ignoring him.

Rip shrugged when Lock looked his way. "Never hurts to have more security on our families."

"Static. Idaho. Stay here and keep everyone in line. "

"Hey!" Idaho snapped.

"That's not-" Static swallowed back the rest of his words when Lock stepped in front of them.

"You two are still fucking prospects," he growled. "Don't forget that. Besides, you're my oldest fucking friend and my damn brother. If I can't trust you two to keep everyone's families safe, who can I trust?"

They sighed but went to stand with Warrant, Cynic, Rotor, and Scythe.

Toxic chuckled, shaking his head as he watched the scene play out.

"What's so funny," I asked.

"Them thinking Warrant would go after their women. I know he looks like an asshole, but he's actually a pretty good guy."

I look over at the man. He had brown hair, blue eyes, and tattoos covering almost every exposed inch of skin. Not to mention the cocky grin. Women loved that sort of shit, but I knew Toxic was right. So was Hellfire. Warrant wouldn't go after our women, and the old ladies wouldn't give him the time of day despite his good looks and charming—so I'd been told—personality. These women were homicidally loyal.

"Are they serious?" Warrant asked Idaho.

"Yeah."

"Well shit," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was just fucking around with you. Your old ladies and kids are safe here with us. I'd kill anyone who thought about touching them."

That seemed to appease the men. I understood where they were coming from. I'd be right there with them if Isla was staying here while I went off to fight. They were tense, wound up, and if you added that to men who were already possessive as hell, it tended to come out as overprotective caveman behavior, or so I'd heard Kit say more than once.

"Thanks," Lock said as the men went over to shake Warrant's hand, showing that there were no hard feelings. He gave the men an appreciative look. "We couldn't do this without all of you staying here to help our families out while we're gone." There were now nine men staying here with the women and children, and I still wondered if it was enough. Mel, Bear, Dash, Idaho, and Static had everything in the world to fight for, but I knew without a doubt our friends wouldn't let us down either. It was why my brothers were comfortable enough to get inside the different vehicles parked in the club's lot and drive away as soon as Lockout pulled out onto the road.

Glancing over, I studied Isla's face. She looked tense.

"Everything good?"

Her sigh was heavy and I could see the worry on her face. "These guys have wives and kids."

"Yeah." I wasn't really sure what she was getting at, but I knew if I gave it a minute, she'd explain. Slowly we were starting to get to know one another. And my first impression of her had been right. We had a lot in common.

"I feel so damn guilty taking them away from their families. And not only that but putting them in harm's way."

"We chose to do this Terror."

"Yeah, but a big part of why you're doing it is for me," she replied. "And I'm not sure I'm worth it."

Now I knew how my brothers felt all these years because she was exactly where I'd been for so long. Feeling as though I didn't belong. Not understanding why they did the shit for me that they did. It was a weird place for me to be. Somewhere in the middle of accepting that they just fucking loved me for reasons I didn't understand, and that reminder of what I am and why it was difficult for others to feel things for me. "I'll never understand my brothers' capacity for emotion," I told her. "But I've come to realize that once they accept you into their lives, they'll burn down the rest of the world to keep you there."

"Only I'm not one of theirs."

Clenching my jaw, I just barely managed to keep from growling out that she was because she belonged to me. But did she? This threat was about to be exterminated. And then, once we had a location for Randal, this was going to be over. I couldn't keep Isla here against her will for much longer. Which meant I had to decide what to do before that time came. I wasn't exactly the type to take an old lady and have a whole bushel of fat babies. That was for men like Hush, Hell, and Static. Shit, all of my brothers were proving to be that type.

It'd just dawned on me that I was even capable of caring for others. What was I supposed to say to a woman who stuck there in the middle with me? I didn't know if I could provide a long-term stable relationship—stable wasn't really my thing after all—but I didn't want to let her go. I raked a hand through my hair, trying to figure out how to comfort her.

She sighed again. "All I can say is...thank you." She looked over at me, so I met her gaze. "Thank you. Thank you to them. I can't explain how much I appreciate the help. How much I appreciate being a part of-" She shook her head and fell silent.

I spent the next two hours struggling to find words that would make her less upset. As we pulled into a parking lot on the outskirts of Phoenix, I realized I'd failed at comforting her. It was just another reminder of why claiming her as my old lady probably wasn't fair to Isla.

"Shit, that's a lot of bikers in trucks and SUVs," Kilo said as he walked up, a huge grin on his face. "Fucking blasphemy."

Most of us chuckled as we got out of our rides, because we thought the same. Every one of us would have rather made this trip on our bikes.

"Hard to transport rifles and rocket launchers on a motorcycle," Lock replied with a chuckle as he walked up to shake Kilo's hand.

I looked around at their clubhouse and was impressed. It was a nice set up. They had acreage, like us, but the building itself was a lot smaller.

"Nice place," Toxic told him.

"Thanks, nowhere near as big as yours," Kilo replied, echoing my thoughts. "But it works for us. We all have homes around here that we live in. And our chapter has grown a lot recently."

"I'll be putting in a bigger building soon," Ruck, the Saint's Outlaws Phoenix Chapter president, said as he walked up. "I like the set up you guys have. Until recently, we just fucking camped outside if we were too drunk to drive home, but having rooms inside the clubhouse would be better."

"Too damn hot to sleep out here," Smoke said. "It's even hotter than Tucson." He used the hem of his t-shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow.

Phoenix was always hotter. It was a much bigger city than Tucson and all that asphalt attracted the heat.

"Come on inside," Ruck offered. "Meet the others."

"You sure you're good with letting us borrow a few of your crew?" Rip asked as we all started to go inside.

I put my arm around Isla's shoulders and she didn't say a word or try to move away. She hadn't grown up in the club culture, the way Kit had, but she had good instincts. She seemed to understand this was my way of making sure none of the bikers fucked with her. As far as they understood it she was claimed, just by being in contact with me. It would keep me from having to bash in the skulls of any men who touched. Lock wouldn't appreciate me alienating our new friends that way.

"Oh yeah, it's not a problem," Ruck said with a grim smile.

"Prez put it up to a vote," Kilo added. "Most of our guys are dying for a little action. It's been too damn quiet around here."

We stepped into the clubhouse and I sucked in cold air with a grateful breath. The AC was working hard to keep the place cool, but it was doing its job well.

"Boys!" Ruck called out and everyone quieted down. "These are the friends from Tucson we've been telling you about. I'm not going around the fucking room like this is some kind of convention and introducing you all, so go do your thing and get to know one another." Ruck grinned over at Lock. "Come on, let's get a beer."

For the next half hour I dragged Isla along with me as Toxic introduced all of us to people. He was the social one so it was always easier to let him lead. I couldn't help but grin at the road names as we met each man present. It just brought me back to my military days .

"We'd all go with you if we could," a man named Relay told us with a wistful look on his face.

"Yeah," another said. "It's been too damn long since I've seen any action. Starting to get itchy, you know?"

I knew exactly what he meant. Toxic shot me a grin and I knew exactly what he was thinking. These were our kind of men. The kind who craved violence and destruction.

"Pretty sure if you're getting itchy, Code, that means you've caught something," One of the others, named Bolo, joked. "Always wrap your dick up."

We all laughed at that. Even Isla seemed to be relaxing and enjoying herself.

"Who's your old lady?" Bolo asked, nodding at Isla.

"This is Terror," I told them. None of the guys approached her, they just gave her friendly nods. "It's her place we'll be heading to."

"Who's going with us?" Toxic asked.

"Me, Bolo, Drifter, and Overdrive," Kilo answered. "Ruck's been in a foul fucking mood all week knowing he can't come along."

"Why not?" Isla asked, looking around at them.

Overdrive grinned at her. "Too many responsibilities here to take care of to take him away for a couple days."

"Besides, if something happens to one of us, no big fucking deal," Relay added. "Something happens to our prez? All hell will break loose."

She nodded, looking curious and I knew she was going to spend the rest of our drive picking my brain about club life. I was fine with that. Talking about my club, the rules, our brotherhood, that was easy. Trying to figure out how to navigate the way I was feeling and try to communicate that to this woman? That was infinitely more complicated.