Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

Isla

M y lips curved as Butcher kissed along my neck. It was early, but today was the day we were leaving. It was finally here. "Morning."

He grunted and kept moving his mouth over my skin.

A delightful shiver zipped down my spine when he hit a particularly sensitive spot. He must have noticed because he quickly backtracked and spent some time there. It was enough to curl a girl's toes. He was enough to make a girl lose her heart. "We should get up," I warned, though I moved my head further to the side so he'd have full access.

"In a minute," he said, his voice all deep and raspy.

I sighed with contentment when his hand cupped my breast as he continued to nip and lick at my neck. I could get used to being woken up this way.

A pounding on the front door made Butcher curse and me jump. I looked at him and laughed as he scowled toward the open bedroom door. He didn't seem to like having such a big apartment, but Murder was really happy with all the space. The women were going to take care of her for me while I was gone and I was grateful to not have to worry about whether her food had run out or if she was bored. I knew between the women and the kids, she'd have plenty of food and companionship over the next couple of days. Probably too much companionship.

"Whoever did that is getting an ass beating," he muttered. His eyes moved to me and a sexy smile spread over his face. "We have a few minutes."

I opened my mouth to say something but someone opened the front door and shouted for us to get our asses moving.

Butcher frowned. "Not sure if that was Idaho or Lockout."

"Does it matter?" I asked, excitement beginning to build for the trip today.

He nodded. "If it's Lock, we're getting our asses moving. If it's Idaho, I'm going to tell him to fuck off." He got off the bed, striding toward the bedroom door.

"Uh, Butcher?"

He paused and looked at me over his shoulder. I pointed and he looked down and swore. He was completely naked. He stalked back toward the bed and grabbed the sweats he'd removed last night before turning me into a pile of melted goo.

Happy melted goo. Satisfied... I shook my head and forced myself to get out of bed, otherwise it was going to be entirely too easy to let him talk me into another round of what happened last night. It wouldn't be so bad except I didn't want to be late. We had a schedule to keep today and I didn't want to put us behind. Stepping into the shower, I ignored the curses Butcher was muttering as he realized sex was off the table.

He stepped into the bathroom and wiped the condensation off the mirror then started brushing his teeth. I liked the fact that this shower had see-through glass paneling. I watched him move through his morning routine. He always brushed his teeth before getting in the shower. I was the opposite, showering then brushing. It was one of the few ways I'd found that we were different. "Butcher?"

"Yeah?"

"What's your family like?" Before he could tell me we were with his family, because that was what he'd done before, I clarified, "I mean like...your parents? Do you have any siblings?"

He set his toothbrush down in the holder and turned toward me, leaning a hip on the counter as he crossed his arms over his chest. "It was just me and my mom," he said. It was easy to see he didn't like talking about this, but he was doing it. For me.

My heart jumped a little at that realization. "Where is she now?"

"Alabama. She has a new family."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Married a guy not long after I enlisted and they have a couple of kids together. So I guess I have a couple half-sisters, but I've never met them."

"You two didn't get along?" I asked.

He sighed. "She tried. She's not a bad lady. Wasn't a bad mom, but she was busy working to make sure there was food on the table and I... Well, I wasn't exactly the easiest kid to deal with. You know? She never really stood a chance. Even if my dad had stayed I doubt they could have handled me. I don't hold it against her."

I nodded because yes, I knew.

"What about you?" he asked, looking curious. We hadn't talked a lot about our pasts. It was mostly the present we discussed. He asked a lot about Ms. Mittens and it was adorable. I was pretty sure my cat wasn't the only one with a crush. She curled up against him most nights now.

"My mom wasn't... I don't know if she was a good person or not," I admitted. "She wasn't great to me. Wasn't bad either," I rushed to tell him because his eyes narrowed. "But my grandma... She was bad."

"Were you around her much?"

"All the time growing up until Mom decided she was done trying to raise a kid and dropped me off at Grandma's permanently."

He swore under his breath. "And you were stuck with her? "

"Actually she died," I told him. He gave me a quizzical look. "I didn't kill her. At least not intentionally. I ended up in the foster system. I think it was better that way." I finished in the shower and smiled at him as he held a towel open for me. "You know, I didn't expect you to be sweet, but you keep surprising me." I didn't know how to deal with someone trying to take care of me, so I just stepped into the towel, pulled it from his hands and dried myself as he got into the still running shower.

I'd started the talk about our past, but I didn't really want to continue, so I stepped out into the bedroom and got dressed. When I went back into the bathroom to finish getting ready, I quickly went through my routine. He seemed to understand that I didn't want to talk anymore and just watched me as I moved around the space. I left the room as he stepped out of the shower. All my things for the trip were packed and waiting by the bed.

I went downstairs and saw that there was only one man down there. Toxic had introduced me to him a couple days ago. "Hi Daryl."

He turned and smiled at me. "Hey there, Darlin'."

He seemed to call all the women that, but it still made me smile. It made every woman smile. He seemed like a very nice man. He patted the chair next to him. "Come have a seat. Wanted to talk to you about something."

Nerves fluttered in my stomach, though I wasn't sure why. He was just one of those kinds of men who was a paternal figure even though I hardly knew him. He had the ‘dad' vibe. "Am I in trouble?" I joked as I sat down. I didn't know how to have a father/daughter talk.

"No, of course not." He grinned at me. "Why does everyone except Boone think they're in trouble when I want to talk to them?" I shrugged. "And Boone is usually the only one in trouble."

That had us both laughing, then his face turned serious so the smile slid off my lips. "What would you like to talk about?"

"You seem like a good girl."

Uh. I wasn't sure that was accurate.

He must have read the look on my face because he laughed and patted my hand. "Boone told me all about you and your...job. "

"Oh. Well, ummm..."

"Don't worry, this isn't about that." He studied me. "This is about Dean."

I wasn't surprised that Daryl knew Butcher's name. After watching them together for the last couple days, it was easy to see that they were close. Or as close as Butcher allowed anyone. He had a wall up that was damn near impossible to scale. I knew because I had the same damn wall. It came from a lifetime of being a loner. Though, Butcher seemed to have found himself a group of people who loved him.

A pang of jealousy hit my heart, then guilt flooded in because I shouldn't be jealous of another's fortune. He needed these people. He was appreciative that they accepted him and for that I knew he'd protect them with his last breath. It was just...I wanted that, too. All of it. The people. The love. Him. I never knew this existed, or that I could want it. Now I wasn't sure how I'd get by without it once I was forced to leave.

Shifting in my chair, it struck me that it was true. I wanted to stay. I wanted a family, like the one Butcher had found. No. This family. That was what I wanted. And I wanted it with him. Ugh. I was in so much trouble.

"Just had an epiphany didn't you?"

I jerked my eyes up and stared at Daryl in shock. "What? No."

He chuckled. "Don't lie to me, Girl. I recognize the look. It's sort of a flash of panic followed by resignation. Trust me, saw it on my own damn face in the mirror when I first realized I loved my Ellie."

My heart melted. "Is that your wife?"

He nodded. "Was."

"What happened?" I asked softly.

"Drunk driver." He shook his head, sadness in his eyes. "Bastard walked away from the wreck without a scratch. I never spoke to her again."

I swallowed hard because tears were clogging my throat. I didn't cry, but how could you not when the pain and despair were so thick in his voice. "Is he in prison? "

"Did his time," he replied. "Wasn't enough if you ask me. He got to keep breathing, to keep living, even though he took a bright light from this world."

I searched his face as he stared down at the table, glaring daggers through it. "Would you like him not to be?"

His eyes met mine. "Huh?"

"Living?" I asked. I was dead serious and the look that crossed his face said he knew it. "I could make that stop for him."

He looked surprised then a grin spread over his face. "You know, that's the first thing that Dean said, more or less, the first time I told him the story." He chuckled and shook his head. "You two are a lot alike."

"We are," I admitted.

"But no, thank you. As hard as it's been I've made my peace with the man who killed my wife." He saw my look of doubt and smiled. "Mostly. If he hadn't cleaned up his act, I wouldn't have stopped Boone from killing the guy the first time. Hell, would've done it myself. But he did his time in prison and still to this day doesn't drink. I make sure of it." He patted my hand again. "Thank you for your offer. You're a sweet girl."

I was neither sweet nor a girl, but the man was in his seventies so I'd let him call me whatever he wanted. Didn't matter that he didn't look his age, or that the single women swooned at his feet. He had no effect, other than a fatherly one, on me. Most men didn't though. I used to be able to say no man did. Couldn't say that anymore.

"Do me a favor?"

I focused back on him and nodded.

"Take care of my boys?" His smile turned wry. "They aren't telling me exactly what's happening but I've seen all the shit they've stowed away in those vehicles over the last few days. And I know my boys. They aren't telling me so I won't worry, but I can read it all over their faces. Something big is coming."

My nod was the only answer I gave to that last loaded statement. If Toxic and Butcher weren't telling Daryl what was about to happen, I wasn't going to either. The fact that Daryl called Butcher his son made my heart melt all over again though. "I will," I said, acknowledging his request.

"I know I don't know you well just yet, but that makes me feel better."

Laughing, I shook my head. "Thank you, but your...boys...are more than capable of taking care of themselves. And each other."

"They are," he replied with a nod, "but it never hurts to have help."

"True."

He tilted his head. "Do me one more favor?"

"What's that?"

"What realization did you just come to?" There was knowledge there in his eyes. "I won't tell a soul," he promised when I hesitated.

"I just realized it was pointless to fight my feelings," I admitted. There was just something about him that made it easy to tell the truth. "And…maybe there is a way out of this life, into a better one. A real one."

He nodded. "It would make me happier than a pig in shit to see my sons find women and settle down. Both of them."

"A pig in shit... That's a very...unique...description."

He laughed. "Come out to the ranch sometime, City Girl. I'll wipe some of the city slicker off you."

"With pig shit?" I teased. "Because I don't know that I would like that."

"What's so funny?" Toxic asked as he and Butcher walked up.

"Nothing, I was just-" I broke off, eyes widening as I watched Lock walk down the stairs. There wasn't time to call out a warning to the man before Murder scooted gracefully past him. She wasn't the problem.

Barking caught the men's attention, and they all turned to look right as Jecht slammed into the back of Lockout's legs as he and Auron barreled past chasing my cat. "Ms. Mittens!" I called out but she disappeared down the back hallway, the dogs right on her heels.

"What the fuck!" Lock snapped, glaring at the animals as he held onto the banister. The railing, and his fast reflexes, were the only things that had kept him from plunging headfirst down the stairs. "I swear to Christ if someone doesn't contain those damn animals-" He broke off, and we all watched as Auron, then Jecht ran back up the stairs past him. Next was Murder, an angry yowl sounding as she went.

"I'd appreciate it if you called my daughters by their names," Priest said from behind him.

"Not them, dickhead. The actual animals," Lock snarled. Priest's teasing grin didn't improve Lockout's mood at all.

"Why-" The question died on my lips as four giggling girls raced out of the back hallway and up the stairs after the animals.

Lockout sighed and came down the stairs, ignoring the crashing sounds that came from upstairs. "Where the fuck did I go wrong?"

It seemed like more of a rhetorical question so not one of us answered it.

He glared at Toxic and Butcher. "I've only ever made two mistakes in my life." The way he was looking at the guys told me that they were the mistakes.

Toxic grinned. "What were those, Prez?" He knew full well what Lock considered his mistakes.

"How is any of that our fault?" Butcher asked. "The dogs are Seek's and the kids are Priest's and Jenny's."

"The cat is hers," Lock replied, pointing at me. "And she's yours. Someone go make sure those kids don't inadvertently hurt those animals. I'd never hear the end of it," he muttered as he walked out the door.

"They wouldn't hurt them. They love those dogs. And that damn cat," Toxic said, but he headed for the stairs anyway.

I looked over at Butcher, who was still frowning at the door that Lock had disappeared through. "What?"

His eyes met mine. "Nothing. Come on, we need to finish packing up one of the trucks."

"You're going to make your lady pack up boxes?" Daryl asked. He shot Butcher a look of disgust .

Butcher just wrapped an arm around my shoulders and walked with me. Once we were outside he gave me a wide grin. "If you're going to shoot the weapons, you're going to help load them."

I laughed. "You think I have a problem with that?"

"Naw, but I'm never going to hear the end of it from Daryl." He walked over and waited until I took one end of the crate he'd bent down to grab.

"What's in here?" I asked as we put it in the back of a pick-up truck.

"Rocket launcher."

I looked over at him in surprise. "Where did you guys get that?"

He shrugged. "Under Gabby's bed, probably."

Looked like they were finally done fighting fair and were going all out for this. Before I'd thought that they were fighting with one hand behind their backs. Now I realized why. They were only willing to put themselves in danger. They'd ask for help if they really needed it, like having the Berserkers watch over their families, and the Saint's Outlaws were going to send a few men with us to fight, but they tried their best to take care of their problems themselves.

Now that I was getting to know them, and their allies, I understood it. Their friends all had their own people depending on them, their own cities, friends, and families. None of these men would be able to live with themselves if they got their allies and friends killed while fighting a battle that wasn't their own to fight.

How could you not respect that? I watched as Butcher, Lock, and a few of the other guys continued loading the vehicles. They'd decided against riding their motorcycles, though I knew that was hard for them, in order to keep a lower profile. These men took on the trash that threatened their city in order to protect the people who lived here and they didn't ask for anything in return. My earlier realization hit me hard again. There was no reason for me to be fighting this. I loved Butcher. I loved his family. My ability to keep those emotions in check was long gone. I just didn't know what to do about it.

I brushed my thoughts away and pitched in to help finish getting ready. There wasn't time to contemplate what would happen once this was all over. All I could do was focus on the here and now. I needed to keep my head in the game so none of us ended up dead at the end of this fight.