16. Charlie

16

Charlie

I’ve always been a morning person. There is something beautiful about a new day—new challenges, new opportunities. Now, with Jackson, I feel that joy once more. My smile is big as I wiggle further back against him.

‘Little Mate,’ his wolf growls through our mind link. I smother a giggle because Jackson is not a morning person. Even in the short time I’ve known him, it’s obvious he’s a bit of a grumpy gus this early.

‘Morning run?’ I ask.

Jackson stirs at my question, “Not today, Charlie. I need to deal with everything—Hunter, his mate, their situation. Then, figure out a game plan for what is happening with my Pack. My unit is coming into town today.”

I rotate in his arms, “Does this have to do with Kyler last night?”

He gives a short nod.

“Is he okay?” My concern is evident—I love that little guy—I try to look into Jackson’s eyes. I decided last night was not the best time to ask, but now I want to run over to the west wing and wrap my little friend up in my arms. The anger simmering in Jackson’s eyes makes me wonder if I should stay with him today. Maybe I can be helpful to all the problems he’s facing.

‘Maybe, step more into a role as Luna and support my mate,’ my wolf adds.

Feeling bolder than I have before, I ask, “Do you need me today?”There is a spark of hope in my voice that our relationship has budded enough that he’ll say yes.

His anger seems to melt as he kisses my forehead. “No, I want you to go to the bakery. Lola needs you. She told me it has been busy, and Mrs. Anders has been in twice asking for your bread.” His face is light, and his smile soft as he tips my chin up to take my lips.

I hum my approval, trying to bury my disappointment. I want him to need me, too. “Will you run with me tonight?” I ask, “My wolf needs to run.”

“Little Mate, it’s dangerous,” his eyes swallow me in their deep blue depths.

“I’ll have you, and we can bring Killian. Not running last night was hard. Not being near you was harder. I need a little run,” I bring my best puppy dog eyes to the end of my words, and a smile fills his face.

His wolf growls, ‘You’re trouble, little Mate.’

“Fine.” He relents. “I’ll have Killian stay here while we are out. Do you want to go to the falls again?”

For some reason, all I can think about is him taking me into that big wading pool and fucking me senseless while the waterfalls sound around us. Almost on instinct, I suck my bottom lip into my mouth and think about wrapping my legs around his waist while he takes me.

“Charlie?” He growls.

A shiver races to my core, and I’m already soaked. What is this man doing to me?

“Little mate, we have things to do today. I will chase you through the woods tonight and make you mine—again.”

My eyes close, and my lips roll into my mouth. This man and his words, “Promise?” I whisper.

His hand slides around my neck, taking control of my head and tilting my mouth up so he hovers just over it. “I promise. Now, Charlie, get ready. Killian will be here,” his eyes flashing to a clock on the other side of the room that I ordered. “Just a few minutes to take you to work.”

Then he kisses me with all the heat and passion of an alpha wolf about to take down his prey. My wolf purrs her approval. Jackson smiles against my mouth.

‘Tonight,’ he growls through our link.

“Lola!” I squeal as I push into the Bakery doors. It’s only been two or three days since I last worked—I’ve lost track—but it’s a different kind of coming home.

“Oh, beautiful,” Lola says in her thick Russian accent. “Tell me, are you and our handsome Alpha a thing? He has kept you busy the last few days and moved you in there?” Her curiosity is evident, and I try to hide my noticeable blush at her words.

“Lola, come in the back and flip the sign.”

I look to Killian, who has decided to sit on the bakery’s patio. At the same time, I push into the swinging doors that lead to the kitchen. Lola is hot on my heels as I place my palms on the cool metal table, taking a deep breath.

“He’s my mate,” I whisper.

“O ‘moy,” she says behind her hands.

I nod. “It’s been unreal to find him, and the entire thing has been…” My words fall off as I try to think of how to describe our whirlwind mating. I feel him hold all my broken, jagged edges. “I feel his strength fill me. For the first time, I don’t feel weak and lost; he makes me feel at home.”

Lola lovingly takes my hands in hers. “Charlie, you deserve all the love, my dear. You let him be your home.” Her eyes go misty as she looks past my shoulder. She shakes her head, and the emotion sparkling between us pulls tears to my eyes.

“I miss my other half,” her accent grows thicker. In Russia, referring to your mate as the other half was common. “Every day, he would bring me back flowers, or we would run together. Those years were the best. I felt free and safe—loved.” Her small hands squeeze mine again. “You deserve that after all the pain you’ve had.”

My eyes naturally widen as I wonder what she knows. “I?—”

She cuts me off with a shake of her head, “I don’t know your story, Charlie, but heartbreak calls to heartbreak, and my darling, we bake to take away the pain.” Lola gently kisses my hand, “Shall we bake something wonderful today?”

I nod, the movement shaking a lone tear down my cheek. I quickly swipe it away. Ryan would’ve loved Lola. Our mother was distant and broken—she was forced to be. She always tried to appease my father so she could stay with us. I remember how he would yell at her. He threatened to list her for Auction with the rest of the women in the Pack if she didn’t behave.

“Good, let’s go. Mrs. Anders is coming in for more Sourdough, too. I had a bowl started in the fridge. If you want to flour it, throw it in the oven,” Lola says as she heads out to the front.

Her head pops back in the doors, “Who is this striking young man sitting on my patio?” Her brows waggle, and I laugh.

“That is Killian. He’s my—bodyguard; he’ll probably be here for the foreseeable future. Jackson was dealing with the Pack stuff and didn’t want me unaccompanied.”

Her brows raise at each word, and I try to hide my smile. “He’s protective of you; that’s a good mate,” she says.

“Lola!” I turn around, grab my purple apron, throw the strap over my head, and get started on the bread. The blush and warmth fill me because—he is a good mate.

It’s early afternoon, and Lola and I have been swamped all day. I’m so tired but excited to be headed home. I checked my phone and saw a text from Jackson. Little butterflies fill my stomach at his compassion.

Little Mate, I have to stay with Hunter and continue to work on what happened last night. Stick with Killian, and I’ll see you late today.

I push out of the bakery, pulling my bag on my shoulder. Killian’s eyes snap to me. He’s gorgeous in the burly male kind of way. His dirty brown hair is longer on top and shaved down the sides. He has a few days of scruff that makes his jaw sharper. He has a smirk on his face as I take in his features. “See something you like?” His flirting has my wolf growling in displeasure. He laughs as he says, “She has a bite, I see.”

‘I’ll show him a bite,’ my wolf shifts our eyes, and we take him in.

“You ready?” I ask, my voice laced with a growl of annoyance as I push my wolf back.

“Yeah, but we have some time to kill. Do you want to learn something? Maybe how to harness that—“ he looks for the word, then says, “Pain?”

“Excuse me? What does that mean?” My wolf perks back up again. ‘Maybe we’ll bite him after all,’ she offers.

“Well, you’re going to be the Luna. The least you could do is learn to defend yourself. Let’s use some of that emotion, and I’ll teach you to harness it for your protection and to strengthen the Pack,” he winks.

I shake my head, but the idea of harnessing my emotions and reclaiming the part of myself that’s been lost sounds—nice. My anger flares inside of me like a dying star. Memories racing through my head of a childhood raised in an abusive home, threatened, and hurt. If I’d been stronger, I might’ve had a mother who could spend time with me and love me how I deserved. I could’ve told Ax to get his hands off of me when he would touch me inappropriately.

Finally, I meet Killian’s eyes as he opens my truck door. “Alright, let’s do it,” I say while scaling the side of his massive truck, “Do all alphas have to drive big trucks?”

Killian steps back to take in his truck, “We’re probably all compensating for something. What do you drive?”

The question is innocent enough, but I haven’t driven a car in four years, and I pinch my lips, “I ride a yellow beach cruiser.”

Killian laughs, shuts my door, and jogs around the front of the car. I can see the smile he is trying to hide, which annoys me even more. He gets in the truck, saying, “You’re a wolf that rides a bike?” He’s not even trying to hide the humor in his voice. I know why, too, because I could shift and run a hell of a lot faster than I could ride my bike.

I don’t care, though.

My yellow bike is my freedom. It’s in my control, and I can’t say that about my wolf or my life.

I glance out the passenger window and shrug. I don’t need to tell him any of that. The drive to the Lodge is quick. The village is on one main street, and most of the Pack live off Main Street. Just as we pull into the back parking lot, I perk up when I see Jackson’s truck is here. I want to tuck myself into his big chest.

Killian interrupts my thoughts, “Run upstairs and change into some workout clothes, we’ll practice in the basement gym. I’ll see you in a few.”

“Alright,” I slip from his big truck and hustle inside. I pass through the kitchen and say ‘hi’ to Keelie and Clover. “What’re you two beauties up to?” I move to the fridge and grab a pineapple Fanta, popping the top and savoring the sharp, sweet taste that bursts over my tongue.

Clover excitedly replies, “Keelie is teaching me how to make grilled cheese!” Her voice is pitched, making me smile around my sunshiny soda.

“Charlie, five minutes!” Killian shouts from the dining room.

“He’s bossy,” Clover says, and the comment makes me giggle. The tightness in my chest loosens at the sound, which is why I spend so much time with the pups in the Lodge.

“He is indeed,” I boop Clover’s nose, “How about tomorrow we make some cookies?” My eyes drift up to Keelies, and she smiles softly at me.

“You mean it?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“Can Kyler come too?”

“Of course,” I say. “Okay, I have to hurry; I’ll see you ladies later.”

I take the back stairwell down the hall from Jackson’s office, hurry to our room, and quickly change my clothes. On the way down, I hear shouting from Jackson’s office. My wolf perks up at hearing our mate sound so angry. I don’t mean to listen, but I can’t help it.

“You think I can’t see what a fucking mess this is?” Jackson’s voice is laced with anger. “Charlie being my mate has made everything harder. Her situation is… fuck.”

“Well, you have a few options,” I hear Michael White say.

The sound of shattering glass from behind the closed door echoes through me as my heart breaks. My greatest fear is coming true. He is going to give me back. He’s rejecting us.

The rejection rips through me. My breathing shallows, and the ever-present sadness engulfs me quickly like a rising tide—a tide I’m used to drowning in.

My feet stumble backward, thinking he doesn’t consider me a Pack member. There is no loyalty, no protection. My mate sees me as a problem. I am the problem for this Pack—I always was. What was I thinking that we could be more? Ignorant Charlie, I never had a chance at being anything more than a problem.

The throbbing in my chest has my feet running to the back doors. My vision closes in with small dark dots, blinding me as the rejection of my mate pulses through me.

Whimpering, my wolf says, ‘We always hurt the ones we love.’ Her small admission has tears spilling over my lashes.

I need to leave because I love him too much to stay. I never wanted this. I never wanted to hurt the ones I love, but it seems I can’t escape the ghost of my past.

I don’t hear anything else, and as my ears turn fuzzy, my fear begins to kick in—the need to run floods my limbs.

‘I don’t belong here.’

Mate or not, Jackson talked about me like a problem—something that needed to be taken care of.

Oh God.

My hands tremble as they come up to cover my stomach while I stumble backward. Had they planned on sending me back all along? That would be better for their Pack. That would be why Jackson’s okay with keeping me hidden. Why he won’t claim me as a Pack member, even with Jackson’s mark. Does that offer any weight? I don’t know. He’s only been Alpha for a few days, officially.

Before I know it, I’m falling through the backdoors and gulping in the cool evening air. It stifles the burning that is beating through my body. Heavy hands land on my shoulders and through the white noise filling my ears.

I hear my name, “Charlie?” Killian’s eyes are worried as he takes me in.

The ball lodged in my throat suffocates me as I try to stay standing. My wolf is pacing inside my body, thrumming with anguish. ‘Run,’ she chants, ‘run, run.’

“Charlie?” Killian spins my body around, both his hands on my shoulders now. “Charlie, talk to me. What happened?” He’s so close, too close. My growl is uncontrolled as I try to push his large body away.

My head shakes from side to side.

I can’t.

The emotions of everything are too much. The scream that has been building surfaces. A clap of thunder accompanies my pain, ripping open the sky as a storm assaults the forest. The large crows take flight—I watch them leave, wishing I could burn and fly all at once.

Then, in a flash, I’m ripped from Killian’s hands and pulled behind a large body. The scent of pine envelopes me, and I take it in with big drags as I realize who is guarding me. His voice is laced with fury, his shoulders heaving as I watch him attack his best friend.

“What the fuck, Killian! Touching my fucking mate,” Jackson bellows.

Killian’s hands raise, “Jax, I found her freaking out she’s about to bolt. I didn’t do anything.”

I don’t wait for the two men to fight it out. It doesn’t matter anyway; I don’t want to be anyone’s problem. I slip down the veranda and shift. My wolf knows where we need to go and where to hide and heal.

I’ll have to come up with a plan for my future, but right now, I need to let the pain burn out.