CHAPTER 56

west

S hirts off. Pants kicked aside. Boxer briefs who the hell knew where. Socks too.

Hands. Tongues. Teeth.

He was anywhere and everywhere—his hands roaming over every inch of my body that he could touch. I wasn’t nearly as bold. My confidence was fading fast as I realized just how inexperienced I was compared to him.

We collapsed into Jackson’s bed. I settled between his hips, my cock rolling against his as I made myself comfortable over him. The sensation made me moan into his mouth, and I repeated the action. His fingers dug into my ass, guiding me to do it a third time. The room swayed as the temperature skyrocketed.

My body was on fucking autopilot as I thrust against his cock. He met each one with equal enthusiasm. Pre-cum painted my stomach and his, mingling with sweat. His breath was my breath and vice versa as we panted, both worked up into a frenzy of need.

“Lights off,” I told him quickly when he reached for the lamp .

“Whatever you want,” he said. I heard the drawer slide open and close quickly, and he dropped something on the bed. Lube. That much I knew we’d need, especially with my piercings.

Fuck, what if I hurt him?

I shoved that thought aside and focused on the man underneath. On Jackson. On making him feel good.

Trailing my tongue along the strong line of his neck, I nipped his earlobe before moving my way down his body. I took my time exploring him all over again with slow kisses and hesitant touches. It gave my body the chance to level out as I made my way to his cock.

I didn’t know a hell of a lot about what the fuck I was doing, but I wasn’t an idiot either. I knew I couldn’t just dive dick first without some prep work—without making sure he was ready.

I grabbed the bottle of lube and covered my fingers, using the excess to swipe over his hole. I swept my tongue over his slit, lapping up the pre-cum gathering there. His legs opened wider as he moaned. I dragged my tongue up the length of his cock a second time. As I did, I slowly pressed one finger inside him. That moan of his grew louder.

I swirled my tongue around the crown of his cock and lowered onto him. I took my time working one finger in and out of his ass with ease while sucking on his dick. Whatever the hell I was doing, I was doing it right. It had him worked up more than ever. His hands fisted in the sheets while his hips rocked up against my mouth.

I added a second finger, stretching him and quickly adding a third. The amount had him writhing underneath me. My head bobbed up and down his pulsing cock in tandem with the pace my fingers set. His breaths came faster, and his hand wrapped around my forearm, gripping impossibly hard.

“You keep doing that and I’m going to come before you ever fuck me, West,” Jackson rasped. I took that as a compliment—at least I could do some part of this right—but still backed off.

My hands trembled slightly as I grabbed the lube bottle a second time. I coated my cock, working myself from root to tip and making sure my piercings were slick. The cool liquid was an uncomfortable shock to my system. I tried to shake off the disorienting feeling while situating myself over him .

Jackson propped himself up on one elbow, and I was all too aware of how he tracked my movements. I lined the crown of my dick with his hole and faltered as it hit me. I was really doing this. My fingers rolled over my piercings as I stroked myself once before slowly thrusting forward just enough to push past that ring of tight muscles.

The onslaught of sensations was instantaneous and overwhelming.

“ Holy fuck …” I gasped. Jackson’s hand ran through my hair as his lips brushed along my neck. A shudder surged through my body, rolling like lightning over my nerves.

“Are you okay?” he said, his forehead touching mine. I nodded slightly, though I didn’t have a fucking clue. “Let me hear you say it, West. I need to hear you say it, baby.”

I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat and did my best to find the words to describe what the hell I was feeling. Fuck, I didn’t know.

“Yeah,” was all I managed to say.

“Okay.” His mouth brushed over my cheek, gentle and reassuring. I eased in and out of him, daring to push a little deeper each time. The pressure was wildly intense as his body adjusted to mine—his muscles wrapped tight around my cock and hugged my piercings.

It was too much.

“That’s it, baby,” Jackson whispered. His mouth found mine, tongue driving through my lips as he kissed me hard. The heat of his body, the quickness of his breath, the roughness on his hands.

I felt every bit of him everywhere all at once. I was damn near shaking head to toe, and I wasn’t sure why. My whole body screamed at me. Good? Bad? I couldn’t fucking tell.

I couldn’t fucking tell up from down as I practically vibrated right out of my own skin.

I tried to focus on him as I picked up a slow pace thrusting in and out of him—on the way his body moved under mine, on the sounds he made, on the way he touched me—but I felt myself slipping. The ledge was right there, dragging me under in a way I couldn’t stop no matter how hard I scrambled away from it.

I slammed my eyes shut and forced myself to keep going. That familiar panic clawed its way through my chest.

I could do this .

I had to do this.

I didn’t want to let Jackson down. Not like this. Not now.

Desperate for a distraction from my own demons, I wrapped my fist around his dick. My hand kept pace with my hips. I honed in on his panting and moaning, using the sounds as an anchor—whatever would keep me from falling apart.

Not here.

Not now.

“That’s it, baby,” Jackson praised, the words barely audible amidst my spiral.

I was only vaguely aware of the way his legs moved higher up my side or how he asked for more. Faster. Harder.

I obliged, doing whatever the hell it took to get him there—to get myself there. That foreign feeling built in my core, painfully hot this time and rubbing against my every raw nerve.

It was too much.

Too much.

But not for Jackson.

His hand covered mine as he took over jerking himself up, his pace faster than what I was doing. In seconds, he came—hot cum spilling between the two of us.

And, as if waiting for permission, my body followed his. My balls seized up, and I lost all fucking sense of self-control. With a deep moan, I buried myself inside him, my cock jerking as I came. His fingers dug into my hips as he held me as close as possible.

I couldn’t pull out fast enough but did my best to be normal about the whole thing. What counted as normal? Was I supposed to stay there? Cuddle?

I didn’t know what the fuck to do.

I settled on a faint kiss before I collapsed on the bed next to him, blinking back hot tears and thankful for the dark. Something painful burned its way through my chest—something I could barely hold back.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

“Are you okay?” Jackson asked softly. His fingers wove through mine and squeezed gently. His touch fucking hurt. It took everything I had to not flinch or pull away. I couldn’t do that to him.

“Yeah,” I lied, breathless and dying a little inside.