Chapter 5

Chapter

Five

February 15th

11:43 A.M.

Giggling.

The sound drew Panther's attention away from his laptop.

Usually, when he worked from home, which wasn't all that often, the house was quiet. If it was a school day then Mrs. Pfeffer would be in the playroom with Andy running through his classes for the day. There might be a bit of sound as Andy asked questions or Mrs. Pfeffer talked, but all in all, things were quiet and there definitely wasn't the kind of giggles he could now hear coming from his living room.

Working in the cabin wasn't what he normally did. The large compound he and his team had purchased when their Delta Force careers had gone up in smoke was seventy acres. Each of them had an acre of their own with their cabins, and the remaining ten acres was a communal area with a large building and a training range they used to run scenarios. In the building they had several conference rooms for planning ops, a hang out space, and Panther had a huge office filled with all the equipment and electronics his heart could desire.

But today, he hadn"t wanted to go and work there. Today, he'd needed to stay home, close to his son. There was no way he could work this case and search for Elle's kidnapped daughter and not feel a burning need to keep his own child close.

So he'd called Mrs. Pfeffer and told her she didn"t need to come in today. Even though it was the weekend when he'd gotten a call from Sparrow asking him to look at Ruthie Cavey's case, he'd asked the nanny if she was available if he needed her. Of course, Mrs. Pfeffer was, he'd lucked out finding her to help with Andy, but he also knew she could easily find something else to do, the woman was the epitome of the social butterfly.

Since Elle had woken him before three, they'd had time to go through her daughter's case in great detail before Andy got up. His son had been delighted to see that Elle was still there, and even though the woman had offered to leave after breakfast, Andy had begged her to stay. Panther could have put his foot down, told his son to let Elle leave, but he'd sensed she didn"t really want to go home alone to her empty house where all she would do was worry about her daughter, so he'd told her it was fine if she wanted to stay. This way at least he could help her by giving her something else to do to split her attention between her fears for her daughter and playing with his son.

It had been almost four hours since he left Andy and Elle in the kitchen cleaning up after breakfast. Once he got his head buried in his computer, he could go for hours without coming up for air. If he didn"t have a child who needed feeding, bathing, and attention, he would likely forget to eat. In fact, when he was digging for some obscure piece of information he and his team needed, he had been known to forget to eat and sleep, and forget about taking a shower, that was at the bottom of his list.

Now, though, the sounds of carefree giggles couldn't be ignored.

The kitchen was empty, everything packed away. How many times had Mrs. Pfeffer scolded him and Andy for leaving the kitchen in a mess for her to clean up? Hundreds over the years she'd been taking care of his son. It wasn't that he tried to be lazy or thought cleaning up was a woman's job, it was just that time with his son was precious, and he didn"t get as much of it as he would like. So, when he did get that one-on-one time with Andy, he didn"t want to waste it cleaning up the kitchen.

His son was his whole world, and Panther vowed he was going to start making more time for the two of them to hang out together. Already Andy was growing so quickly, it wouldn't be long until he was a teenager and didn"t want to spend time with his dad.

These years were so precious, and he had let more time than he should slip through his fingers already.

No more.

Andy was and should be his priority. As important as his work was, his child was still number one. Now closely followed by a little girl with long brown locks and big gray blue eyes. A child who had haunted his dreams even before her mother's screams woke him up.

I"m going to find you, princess, you just hold on for me.

That promise was renewed as he stepped through the kitchen door and found his son and Elle engaged in what looked like a pretty epic Nerf gun battle. They'd pulled all the cushions off the couch, and looked like they'd collected the pillows from the beds, too. Furniture had been moved, the pillows and some blankets added to make forts, and they were firing away at each other, lost in their game.

"Hey, Andy, intruder!" Elle suddenly called out, and as though the two had practiced it, they both turned and fired, raining down a bevy of foam bullets on him.

Their squeals of delight warmed his heart, and he was glad he'd fibbed and asked Elle if she could watch Andy so he could work since his nanny was sick and couldn't come in. Seeing his son having so much fun with Elle gave him this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. Panther couldn't deny he was attracted to Elle. What wasn't there to like? With her long brown locks, soft curves, and big brown eyes, she was beautiful. Add in the fact she was strong and brave, fighting for her daughter with everything she had, and any man would be lucky to have her.

Most importantly to him, though, was that Elle was a good mother.

Was he really standing here watching her play with his son and making a pro list in his head of asking her out?

The thought shocked him, leaving him completely immobile.

"Daddy, you"re dead," Andy called out, firing another few bullets at him. "See? Dead."

Elle had grown quiet, her easy smile falling from her lips, replaced by anxiety he itched to soothe away with soft kisses. "I'm sorry. I should have asked before we made all this mess. I'll clean it all up before I go."

"You can"t go now, Elle," Andy protested. "We were going to make lunch, and then we were going to play Mario Kart. My dad is going to build me a go-kart in the spring."

"Umm, a go-kart sounds super cool, but maybe we can play Mario Kart some other time," Elle said, clearly uncertain now since he still hadn"t said anything. It wasn't that he didn"t want to, it was that he couldn't. All he could see as he watched her in his living room, playing with his son, was more mornings like this, only with a little pigtailed girl joining in the fun.

It hadn"t even been twenty-four hours since he'd met this woman, how could he already be picturing her as any sort of permanent fixture in his life?

Shaking away his own stupidity, he brushed his feelings off as a mixture of loneliness on his part—he was the only member of his team now without a woman—and his driving need to bring her daughter home to her.

Realizing he still hadn"t said anything, Panther shot out a hand to stop her when Elle tried to sidle by him to get into the kitchen, probably to grab her purse so she could leave. "Stay. Please."

"Yeah, Elle, stay," Andy added, bouncing about like he did when he was excited. And no wonder his son didn"t want Elle to leave. When was the last time somebody had played with him like this? Mrs. Pfeffer was in her seventies. When she played with Andy it tended to be board games, and he was so busy that the time he did get with his kid they usually kicked a ball around, or played video games.

"I don't have to stay," Elle said cautiously, even though it was obvious she wanted to.

"We want you to. Andy wants you to, and so do I," Panther added honestly, surprised that it was actually true.

"Then I'd love to stay for lunch, if you"re sure I"m not in the way and intruding."

The fact that her concern was interrupting his time with his son and not that she wanted him to stay glued to his laptop, searching for her missing daughter, made him like her that much more. Elle was something else, and one way or another, he would bring her daughter home to her, even if that was only the closure of a body to bury.

Although he prayed it didn"t come to that.

"Elle said we could have pizza for lunch," Andy said, shoving past them into the kitchen.

"I did not, you sneaky little munchkin," Elle said with a laugh. "I said you could ask your dad if we could make Ruthie's favorite mini pizzas for lunch." Pain chased away her smile as she realized she'd just mentioned her daughter. How many times a day did the gut-wrenching, soul-destroying pain of remembering her daughter was gone hit her?

Panther didn"t even want to think about it.

"Hey." He caught Elle's hand as she went to walk past him into the kitchen. "I'll find her. I'll bring her home to you."

The smile she gave him was both grateful and reserved. She knew he couldn't make her that promise, but she appreciated that he would give it everything he had. "At first, I wasn't sure why Sparrow sent me to you, especially given Raven's history with Cleo. But now I get it. You"re a great father, and there is no one I would trust more to look for my daughter than you."

When she stood on tiptoes and touched a kiss to his cheek, Panther felt it right down to his heart.

February 15th

12:38 P.M.

Tears stung the backs of Elle's eyes as she cleaned up the kitchen.

It wasn't just the sounds of muted laughs coming from the living room that were so bittersweet it hurt, it was everything. Sparrow making Ruthie's case important enough for Prey to look at even though this wasn't their usual kind of work. Rafe being nice enough not just to try to find Ruthie, but to allow her to spend time with his son while he worked, seeming to sense she needed to be around a child right now even if it hurt. Andy being so sweet and funny, playing with him had reminded her of her daughter, but it had also been about him, making him smile, making sure he was having fun.

Then there was lunch.

Mini pizzas weren"t just Ruthie's favorite, they were a special meal that just the two of them shared. They weren"t really pizzas, but for Elle's birthday the year Ruthie was four, her daughter wanted to make her mommy a special birthday lunch. Being only four, it wasn't like her daughter knew how to cook, but that wasn't the kind of thing that stopped a child like Ruthie.

Nope, her daughter just raided the pantry and came up with her own thing.

Ruthie was a free-spirited little girl. She was smart, polite, funny, sweet, and so friendly she had never met a person who didn"t come to love her within minutes of meeting her. But Ruthie never followed the crowd, she made her own way, and that was evident in the mini pizzas she shared with such pride.

Nothing more than a rice cracker with ketchup and a slice of cheese. They didn"t actually taste all that good, but Ruthie had been so proud of herself and so excited that the meal had quickly become their favorite.

Now she'd shared that special tradition that had been for just the two of them with Rafe and Andy, and she felt … odd. Not unhappy, Andy had been so excited to ask his dad for pizza for lunch, and it had seemed like the most natural thing in the world to tell him about Ruthie's mini pizzas. Andy had been just as proud of himself as Ruthie had been to make them all on his own, and he'd loved them. Rafe had said he liked them, too, but she wasn't sure if that was just him being nice and not wanting to hurt her feelings.

Father and son were busy with Legos in the living room while she cleaned up. They'd wanted to help, but she needed this moment alone before joining the boys to play Mario Kart. Elle knew spending time with Andy might be what she needed to feel closer to her daughter, but she couldn't help but feel like she was setting herself up for heartbreak.

It wasn't like the boy could be in her life forever.

If—when—Rafe brought her daughter home, she and Ruthie would return to their lives as Elle focused on doing whatever her child needed to heal. And if the worst happened and Rafe couldn't help her, then she could hardly move into his house and play with his son every day for the rest of their lives.

The little boy reminded her so much of Ruthie. Andy was a free spirit, too, only in a different, more serious way. There was no doubt he had inherited the protective gene from his father and she was positive he was going to excel at whatever he wound up doing in life.

Ruthie would love him, too. Her daughter had been desperate for a sibling for as long as Elle could remember. It didn't matter how many times she explained that you needed a mommy and a daddy to make a baby, Ruthie kept insisting that she didn"t care that there was no daddy, she still wanted a baby brother or sister.

"Hey."

The hand touching her shoulder made her shriek as she spun around, her hand flying to her chest where her heart hammered like it was attempting to singlehandedly build an entire village.

"You scared me," she told Rafe, a teeny hint of accusation in her tone.

"I called your name, you didn"t hear me. Are you okay?"

There was genuine concern in his voice and it chipped away at her resolve. She didn"t want to cry anymore and certainly didn"t want this man to think she wasn't so very grateful for everything he was doing for her, but she couldn't seem to stop.

Too many emotions, too much pain, too much grief, no one to share the burden, not even a little bit.

Only when a strong set of arms closed around her, and she was urged to lean against a chest that was so sturdy it may as well be an oak tree, Elle realized that wasn't quite true.

Rafe was here.

Holding her, soothing her. He'd been there last night, too, when she woke from a nightmare.

In less than twenty-four hours, he'd been more supportive than all the people who were supposed to love and care about Ruthie put together. Her parents had literally told her that if she followed the path they set for her, dedicating her life to medical research instead of wasting it as a romance author, then she wouldn't be in this predicament. Even though he'd signed away his parental rights, Elle had called her ex to tell him about Ruthie, he was, after all, her father, and he had to love her in his own way. His response was ‘call me if you find her'. Like their daughter was a missing sock or Tupperware lid.

But Rafe had shown true empathy and concern, not just for Ruthie but for her as well.

"I'm sorry," she cried into his shirt, fisting her hands in the soft material that smelled just like Rafe.

"For what?"

"For intruding on your time with Andy. For falling asleep here last night instead of going home. For taking your bed. For waking you in the middle of the night. For making such a mess when I was playing with Andy."

Large hands covered her shoulders and she was eased back. "I don't care that you and Andy made a mess. Kids are messy, we both know that. I … liked seeing you playing with my son."

His admission started a fresh wave of tears. "I can't seem to stop crying. No matter how many times I think I must have used up all my tears for a lifetime more still manage to come."

"Course they do, Elle. Your baby was taken from you."

"I would go to him if I knew who he was or where he was," she whispered brokenly. It wasn't wanting to protect her own safety that stopped her from going to the kidnapper, it was that she had no idea who he was, and therefore, no idea where he was. Whatever relationship he believed the two of them—three of them if you included Ruthie—had wasn't reality. He might know her, but it didn"t go both ways. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for her child, including sacrificing her own life.

"They're everything, aren"t they?" Rafe said.

"My parents … they weren"t the most loving … and my ex was selfish … until Ruthie, I didn"t even know you could love someone the way I love her." During her pregnancy, Elle had been afraid that she wasn't capable of loving her child the way they deserved. Turned out she shouldn't have worried. From the moment that red, squawking little infant had been placed in her arms, Elle had loved her with a ferocity she didn"t know existed.

"Raising them alone is the hardest job in the world."

"The hardest," she agreed. Not how she had planned it. She and her ex had been married for two years and discussed having kids. The pregnancy was planned. There was no way she could have guessed her husband would bail while she was sleep-deprived and trying to build a career and take care of a newborn at the same time.

"I wouldn't change it for the world."

A soft laugh came out through her tears. "Me either."

"Elle?" Those hands on her shoulders tightened to a point just shy of pain. "Even if I knew where he was, I wouldn't let you trade yourself for Ruthie. I'll get your daughter home where she belongs, but I won"t allow you to die in the process."

It wasn't his choice.

Her daughter, her life, her choice.

Yet from his expression, she could see Rafe wasn't trying to be controlling, or demanding, or anything.

He was worried.

About her.

There was something between them, she couldn't deny it. Attraction at the very least. Elle wasn't opposed to dating again, she wasn't single because she'd sworn off men or relationships, she was just too busy.

But this thing brewing between her and Rafe was more than attraction. They got what it was like to be a single parent, they would both always put their kids first. They'd both had partners walk out of them so they would never do that to another person.

If there was one person in the world she believed could bring her baby home to her, it was this man staring at her so silently, with such a confused expression, like he didn"t know what to make of her, but that some part of him had already claimed her.