Eight

EIGHT

Mia

It was becoming easier to breathe.

Things had finally settled, and it all happened in ways I hadn't anticipated.

I felt like I could relax just a bit. There was even a bright light in my life again.

It was the middle of March, I'd reached my sixteenth week of pregnancy, and the nausea that had hit me around week eight seemed to have subsided. That alone had been a huge relief.

Four weeks ago, I'd done something else that had resulted in me feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Since I'd check the weather and there was no chance of snow, I woke up early that Saturday morning, hopping in my car after dealing with a bout of nausea and getting myself some breakfast, and drove the two hours back to my hometown to see my parents. It had been time to tell them the truth, especially after what happened the weekend prior with both Susie and Todd. I realized it was even more important to tell the people who cared the most about me what was happening in my life. They deserved that much.

When I called to let them know I wanted to come back to Mount Laurel for a visit, they didn't hesitate to encourage me to make the trip. They were aware that Todd and I still weren't back together, and I was convinced they believed I was going to show up on their doorstep in tears over it.

Much to their surprise, that wasn't the case.

And not long after I arrived, my brother dropped in to visit with me, too.

Once I had them all there, I revealed the news of my pregnancy. I had intended to wait and tell them when we all went out for dinner, but it had become unavoidable unless I intended to outright lie to them.

"Are you sure you're okay, Mia? You look a little green around the gills," my mom declared.

I sighed, realizing I still wasn't feeling the best and understanding it wasn't worth making myself crazy to hide the news for several more hours. "No, I'm not," I finally confessed.

"What's wrong?" she pressed.

My eyes moved through the three people I loved most in the world, and I felt a wave of nerves wash over me, which did little to help with the nausea I'd already been feeling.

Deciding it was best to just get it over with, I shared, "I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant," I repeated.

It was clear to see my mom had at least a dozen questions running through her mind, whereas my dad and my brother were contemplative. Because I didn't share anything additional, my mom came out with some of the questions at the forefront of her mind. "What do you mean? How far along? Is it… is it Todd's?"

I nodded hesitantly. It was killing me not to know how they felt. Sure, I was a grown adult, but I desperately wanted to have their support, even if they were disappointed with me.

"Yes, it is," I confirmed.

"So… so, you two are back together? Why didn't he come here with you to share the news?"

And this was the part that was going to break her heart and infuriate my dad and Albert.

"We aren't back together," I revealed. "I'm twelve weeks along now."

That did it.

That was all I needed to say to get a reaction from one of the other two people in the room with my mom and me.

"Does he know?" my dad asked.

"Yes."

Albert was clearly thinking right along the same lines as my dad about the timeline, because he asked, "Did you happen to tell him before Christmas? Say, Christmas Eve?"

I pressed my lips together and winced, recalling just how awful it had been. Not only that, but I had to admit the truth to my family. "He wants nothing to do with me or the baby."

My mom had been sitting beside my dad on the opposite couch, but the moment she heard the shakiness in my tone, she got up and crossed the room to sit down beside me. She wrapped me in her arms, and the moment I felt her loving embrace, I burst into tears.

I tried to tell myself I was so emotional from the pregnancy hormones—I was certain they were playing a role in all of this—but the truth was that they were the first people I'd told, and I hadn't been prepared for the way it would make me feel to admit I'd gotten pregnant by a man who could so easily walk away from me and the child we'd made together.

"What a coward," Dad clipped when I'd calmed down. "Has he attempted to contact you?"

Shaking my head, I answered, "No. Well, kind of. I got in touch with him after I scheduled my first appointment. I thought he should know and have the opportunity to come. He didn't. And I made one final attempt after that appointment to share more about the pregnancy with him, but that's when he made our separation permanent."

"He just ended things with you like that? Didn't he say anything about the baby?" Albert asked before I could finish telling them the story.

"He did. He just wanted me to get rid of it," I explained. "I'll admit I was terrified about the thought of having to do this on my own, but what Todd wanted me to do wasn't an option for me. I hadn't heard anything from Todd until last weekend. I got together with Susie, not realizing that Todd hadn't told anyone in his family about the pregnancy. Needless to say, she's horrified by his actions, and she insisted the rest of the family would want to be involved in the baby's life. Todd wound up at my place that night, angry that I'd shared the news with them. It didn't end well, and I suspect we both realize it's never going to be good between us again. I'm not sad about him for me, but I'm sad about it for the baby."

My mom's arms tightened around me, her hand squeezing my opposite shoulder. "You have us, Mia. I know we're a couple of hours away, but we'd never let you go through this alone."

That was the reaction I'd ultimately expected I'd get from my family. So, I gave her a nod and confirmed, "I know. And I'm sorry it took me this long to share it with all of you. I just… I don't know. I guess I needed time to come to grips with my new reality."

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired, sick."

My dad grew concerned. "Is the baby alright?"

I sent a small smile his way. "The baby is perfect. I've had two more appointments since that first one, and they've both gone very well."

"When am I going to be an uncle?" Albert wondered.

My smile grew, my heart swelling with so much love for my family. "August 28 th ."

"You don't know if it's a boy or girl yet, do you?"

"No, Alby. It's too early yet, but I'm not even sure if I want to find out. I keep flipping back and forth between wanting to know and wanting to be surprised."

A comfortable silence fell over the room for a few moments. I wasn't quite sure what else to say, but my dad eventually took the opportunity to share his thoughts. "Whatever you decide to do, kiddo, we're going to be behind you the whole way. I'm sorry you've been going through it on your own for the last several weeks."

"Thanks, Dad."

He stood from the couch, walked toward me, and held his arms out to me. And the moment I was being held in his embrace, I started crying all over again.

From that point forward, things turned around. The rest of my weekend with my family was wonderful. I'd felt better immediately. The nausea remained for a bit, but knowing that I had some support, that I had people who loved me that I could talk to about it, made a world of difference.

Two weeks after that visit with my family, I shared the news with my coworkers. While they were ecstatic, it was no surprise they had some questions that led to me admitting the truth about my breakup.

Though it had been hard to get through that conversation once more, it wasn't as difficult as it had been the first time I shared it. And if I was honest, I felt proud of myself for sticking to my guns.

The weeks had been passing me by, and although I had the occasional feeling of despair about Todd's lack of interest or involvement in the pregnancy, I stuck to the decision I'd made and didn't call him. If I wasn't important enough to him, if this baby wasn't important enough to him, he didn't deserve the satisfaction of knowing he ran through my mind on occasion.

And now, on a Saturday in the middle of March when I was sixteen weeks pregnant and the weather was unseasonably warm—thankfully, we'd only had that one major storm back in January followed by dustings or an inch or two of snow—I decided to get myself out of the house and go for a walk in my neighborhood. The first trimester had taken a lot out of me, forcing me to spend every free moment I had sleeping, but now that I was a few weeks into the second trimester, I was thrilled to have some energy back.

On my walk, I thought about how far I'd come in the last couple of months and where my life was leading me. With each step I took, I felt more and more relaxed about the future. It wouldn't be perfect, of course, and it certainly wasn't how I had envisioned things going in my life, but I started to settle into the idea of being a single mom without feeling the overwhelming sense of fear and gloominess I had months ago.

There was still a slight chill in the air, but the sun was shining and warm on my face. It felt great to be outside, to be moving again.

I hadn't been expecting anything out of the ordinary to happen along my walk, and for the most part, it had been uneventful. It wasn't until I was nearly back to my house when my eyes were pulled to the side at the sound of a loud shriek and a movement.

What I saw had me stopping in my tracks.

Brock was running through his front yard, and he was chasing after a little girl who couldn't have been more than four or five years old.

Did he have a daughter?

Had I been so caught up in all that had been happening in my life over the last several months that I hadn't realized my neighbor had a child? How had I never seen her before? Worse, why hadn't he said anything?

Something twisted in my belly. Brock spoke to me regularly for months now. I thought we'd been having candid conversations, but maybe I was wrong. Then again, I hadn't exactly shared all that was happening in my life with him, so it wasn't as though I had room to feel any sort of way about him keeping his child from me.

Brock hadn't mentioned being married, and I certainly never saw a woman at his house. But had I been paying enough attention?

Was he, like I was soon to be, a single parent?

I'd come to a stop right at the edge of Brock's property, so it was no surprise the little girl looked up, saw me, and halted her run. She smiled brightly at me, waved, and said, "Hi."

Brock stopped running and froze just behind the girl, and my eyes drifted to his before returning to her. "Hello," I returned.

The next thing I saw melted my heart. Brock took the little girl by the hand and said, "Come on, Izzy. Let's go introduce you."

Izzy happily fell into step with Brock as they made their way in my direction. The closer they got, the easier it was to see the similarities between them. Though she had bright blonde hair that was a stark contrast to his, Izzy had the same eyes and mouth as Brock. The resemblance was uncanny.

When they came to a stop in front of me, Brock looked down at the little girl and said, "Izzy, this is my neighbor, Mia."

"Hi, Mia."

"Hello, Izzy. It's nice to meet you," I returned. "You look like you were having fun with your daddy while running around outside in this warmer weather."

Izzy started giggling. "Uncle Brock is my uncle, not my dad."

I lifted my gaze to Brock's and felt the flush creep over my skin.

His lips twitched. "Izzy is my niece, my brother's daughter."

Nodding my understanding, I said, "I can see the resemblance."

"Yeah, she's got the Benson family genes, that's for sure," he said. "She's a super fast runner, too, which is why I was struggling to catch up with her until she stopped at the sight of you."

I laughed and returned my attention to Izzy. It was obvious Brock would have had no problem catching his niece if he really wanted to, but I loved that he built her up the way he did. She was standing just a bit taller with a proud look on her face. "Well, I guess what I'm curious about is why would you be trying to get away from your uncle? Were you playing tag?"

She shook her head. "No. Uncle Brock was going to tickle me until I told him I liked his plan instead of mine."

Interested in what she had to say, I crouched down and asked, "What was his plan?"

Izzy let out an audible and adorably frustrated sigh. "He told me I have to wait until I'm twenty-five before I can have a boyfriend."

I pressed my lips together to stifle my laughter and glanced up at Brock. He shot me a look of helplessness. "My five-year-old niece thought I would be overjoyed to hear about her boyfriend."

"You have a boyfriend already?" I asked Izzy.

"His name is Billy, and he goes to school with me, and we color together all the time," she shared, the exuberance spilling out of her with every word she spoke. "And we sit together during snack time, too."

It wasn't going to be me who broke this little girl's heart. At the heart of the matter, it was all just innocent. Of course, I thought it was reasonable to advise her on her uncle's position in a kid-friendly way. "Well, I don't see anything wrong with having someone you enjoy coloring with. It sounds like a lot of fun. And it's definitely not enjoyable to eat alone, so I think it's great you've got a nice friend named Billy to do that with. But it might be smart to also listen to what your uncle is saying, too. I'm sure he just wants the very best for you, Izzy, and waiting until you're older to start going on dates with a boyfriend is a good idea."

Izzy took in my words, considered them, and gave me a nod. "Okay. I'll do that."

I smiled at her and stood up.

"Thanks," Brock mumbled quietly.

"What about you?" Izzy asked.

When I glanced down at her again, I could see her looking at me, so I asked, "What about me?"

"How old are you?"

"Izzy, we don't?—"

I reached out and touched his arm. "It's okay, Brock. She's just curious." I could have sworn I felt his body tense at my touch, but I couldn't focus on it too much, because I looked back at Izzy and shared, "I'm twenty-nine."

Her eyes widened, and she marveled at me in silence for all of a few seconds. Then she said, "You're way older than me. You're old enough to have a boyfriend."

Quickly, I pulled my hand away from Brock's arm, sent a fleeting look his way, and confirmed, "I guess I am."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Izzy's question was met with a heavy silence. I pressed my lips together again, but this time, it had nothing to do with not wanting to laugh or smile. It was a nervous reaction.

Following several beats of awkward silence, I said, "I do not."

Something changed in the air. I couldn't explain it, didn't know what it was, but I knew it was coming from Brock. I didn't dare look at him and was grateful when Izzy continued to ask questions.

"But you're old enough. Did you used to have a boyfriend?"

Nodding, I answered honestly. "I did."

"What happened to him?"

I exhaled deeply. "Sometimes, it doesn't work out, and unfortunately, we broke up right before Christmas."

"Did you cry? Were you sad?"

Gosh, was I really having this conversation with a five-year-old?

Crouching down once again, I said, "I did cry. And I was sad for a while, because breakups are sad. But I'm happier now. In fact, I was really happy when I saw you running around with your uncle. I'm very happy to have met you today. And I'm really happy for the sunshine and warm weather that's been here the last few days. So, there's always going to be sad things that happen, but there're always happy things, too."

"I'm happy when I get to spend time with Uncle Brock."

Relief swept through me. Maybe I'd be able to make it out of this unscathed. I reached out and gave Izzy's tiny hand a gentle squeeze and said, "I think you're a very lucky girl to get to spend some time with your uncle. He seems like a lot of fun."

"He's the most fun," she announced proudly.

I couldn't help but laugh at the enthusiasm and playful spirit Izzy had. If I'd been feeling any lingering sadness over my current situation, she certainly would have turned things around for me. "I'm glad to hear that."

When I stood up once again, my eyes met Brock's. He was staring at me with such concern in his expression. And there was something else there, too. Questions, maybe?

Whatever they were, he didn't ask them, and I didn't offer any encouragement for him to do so.

"Well, I should let the two of you get back to your day," I said softly. "I've got to get inside and make lunch."

"You should have lunch with us," Izzy declared.

"Oh, sweetheart, that's very kind of you, but I'm not going to intrude on your time together," I explained.

For the first time since I'd touched his arm and cut him off earlier, Brock spoke. "We'd love to have you join us. Izzy and I make excellent peanut butter sandwiches, and you'd be missing out if you didn't experience one."

My nose stung as my eyes filled with unshed tears. I didn't have the slightest clue why I was getting emotional. It had to be the hormones.

Whether it was the fact I was hungry or hormonal at what I did next, I didn't know. But I surprised myself when I blinked back the tears and said, "Peanut butter sandwiches sound fantastic."

The next thing I knew, I was walking beside Brock while he held Izzy's hand and led all of us into his house for lunch.