Seven

SEVEN

Mia

"I was convinced you were never going to call."

I'd done it. I'd finally reached out to Susie and told her I was ready to get together with her and talk. It was a Saturday afternoon at the beginning of February, I was eleven weeks pregnant, and without a winter storm to contend with, Susie and I had decided to meet up for lunch.

I still wasn't entirely sure how this was going to go down, but the fact that we were here, and she seemed genuinely concerned for me, helped to ease some of the worries I had.

I sent an apologetic look across the table. "I'm sorry, Susie. I never intended to make you feel like I was rejecting you or anything like that, but I was a bit out of sorts when everything first happened, and I needed some time. It hasn't been easy to process it all and wrap my head around this new life I'm facing."

She returned a look that told me she was sympathetic to my situation and mindset. "I don't want you to feel bad, Mia. I totally understand where you're coming from and why you needed time. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I was here and ready to talk whenever you were."

Susie had made that much clear over the last few weeks. There was a small part of me that believed it was strange to be sitting here with Todd's sister, but Susie had always been incredibly sweet to me. We'd gotten along great from the start, and I'd considered her a good friend. I could only hope, regardless of how things went with Todd when it came to his baby, that Susie and the rest of her family would still want to stick around and be in this baby's life.

"I appreciate that more than I can tell you," I promised her. "And I'm glad we can actually be here, talking civilly and enjoying lunch together, despite Todd and I no longer being together."

Disappointment crept into her expression and marred her features. "I still don't understand why Todd is acting the way he is. I told him he's making the biggest mistake of his life by walking away from you. Our parents told him the same thing."

While I'd felt some uncertainty about how this was all going to go between Susie and me today, I hadn't realized just how much tension and stress I'd been feeling until she'd said what she'd just said.

There was something so wonderfully reassuring about knowing that even if Todd wasn't interested in maintaining our relationship—romantic or otherwise—at least his family wasn't going to cut me off.

"Well, I certainly won't say it's been easy," I started. "But as difficult as it's been these last few weeks, I've realized I need to stick to my guns and do what's best for me in this situation. Todd has his mind made up about where he wants his life to go, and as much as it surprised me to learn the way that I did about where he stood, it is what it is. I can't sit and dwell on it. A baby didn't factor into it for Todd, and all I can do now is accept where he stands, move forward, and do what I've got to do to prepare for life as a single mom."

I had hoped Susie would tell me that she understood where I was coming from, that she and the rest of her family would be there to make sure her nephew or niece would know his or her dad's side of the family, regardless of what Todd chose to do.

But Susie didn't tell me that.

In fact, Susie stared at me like she'd just been slapped across the face.

Her reaction was unexpected and alarming enough that I quickly ran through what I'd just said to figure out why she seemed so visibly stunned. Was she upset that I'd decided the best thing for me to do was try to move on and focus on where my life was heading without factoring Todd into the decision? Surely, she had to be able to understand why that was my only option.

Since she seemed unable to respond, I figured it was best to try to clarify my position. "Look, Susie, I realize that the ideal situation in theory would be for Todd and me to be together, preparing for this new stage in our lives as a couple. Unfortunately, that's not an option, because he doesn't want it. And I tried in the beginning. But I can't spend this entire pregnancy fighting with my baby's father just to get him to see that he's making a mistake. At this point, it's not about how I feel. I didn't arrive at this place overnight, but I'm doing my best to focus on what's most important right now, and that's this baby."

"What?"

"The relationship Todd and I had together is over, because that's what he chose. I'm doing the best I can to move past that now, and as much as it hurts to know my baby won't have his father in his life, I'm not sitting around crying over the fact that Todd no longer wants to be in my life," I explained.

Susie shook her head, her lips parted in shock. "You're pregnant?"

I blinked my eyes rapidly, jerking back in my seat.

This whole time I'd been rambling on and on about this baby, and Susie had no idea I was pregnant. Why did she think Todd and I broke up? What had he told his family?

"You didn't know?" I countered, the disbelief evident in my tone.

Susie continued to shake her head. "No. Not at all. That's why you and Todd are no longer together?"

"Yes. I thought he told you on Christmas Eve," I answered. "That's when I told him. We were supposed to be heading to dinner together that night with your family, and I thought I'd surprise him with an early gift by sharing the news with him. I thought he might be excited and want to share it with the family that night. Obviously, I was wrong about how he'd react to the news. I don't understand, though. What did he tell you? Why did you think we broke up?"

There was an extended silence, and I could see how much Susie was struggling to wrap her head around the news she'd just learned. "He… he just said that the two of you were taking some time apart. That you both needed some time to figure out where you wanted to go, if you both wanted the same things in life. But you're telling me you were pregnant the whole time?"

"Yes. And I thought you all knew. Even if Todd didn't give the details on Christmas Eve, I assumed he would have said something when the split was made official between us just after the new year."

"Why? What happened then?" she questioned me.

I pressed my lips together, unsure how and what to share with her. I didn't necessarily want to keep any of this from Susie or the rest of her family, but Todd should have been the one to tell them the truth. But now that we were here, now that it had been months and he hadn't said anything to them, I couldn't keep this from her.

"I had called Todd to let him know I was going to be heading to my first appointment," I shared. "I let him know the date, time, and location in case he wanted to be there. He never showed up, so I made one last-ditch effort. I went to his place after that appointment and gave him an ultrasound photo. I thought it might make him realize what he was giving up, what he was missing out on."

"And you're telling me it didn't?"

I shook my head. "Susie, I'm sorry, but he told me he wanted me to get an abortion, that he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby."

Tears filled her eyes. "I had no idea. Mia, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. I don't blame you," I assured her.

She wiped at her tears just as our server turned up with our meals. Recognizing Susie was in no position to do it herself, I requested additional napkins and thanked the server. Once he walked off, Susie begged, "Can you start at the beginning and tell me what exactly happened?"

"Of course."

Then I launched in and told her everything. I started at the very beginning, reminding her of how tired I'd been when I first moved into the new house. I went on to explain what prompted me to realize I'd missed my period and how I immediately went to pick up some tests just a few days before Christmas. I shared how I was scared, nervous, and finally excited about the news and couldn't wait to share it with Todd.

Susie continued to listen intently as I revealed how things went down on Christmas Eve, and though it didn't help her emotional state, I thought it was important to tell her the truth about the things Todd had said to me. Of course, I went on to explain how Todd never reached out to me even once since he left my house that day and how it was only when I showed up at his place that he solidified his decision for us to remain separated.

There was a small part of me that felt bad about dumping everything on Susie the way I had, but she wanted the details. She was the kind of woman who, even if devastated by learning what her brother had done and said, would never want me to keep something from her to spare her feelings.

When I finally finished sharing it all, Susie took a few moments to process everything. It was a lot to digest, so I sat patiently and gave her the time she needed.

Eventually, she said, "I don't know what to say, Mia. I've got so many thoughts and feelings running through me right now. I'm shocked and hurt and embarrassed and happy and sad and excited. With some time, I'm sure I'll settle all of that down. Most importantly, I feel compelled to tell you that I intend to be here for you in whatever way I can as you progress through this pregnancy. I cannot even begin to tell you how angry I am with my brother for his response to this news. Even if this wasn't planned, he still has a responsibility. He's my brother, Mia, and I know you love him or loved him, but he seems to excel at proving just how big of an idiot he is. I'm mortified to know how he's treated you. My parents are going to feel the same. And I just hope that you don't punish us for what he's done or chooses to do moving forward. I'm begging you to allow me and the rest of the family to be involved in this baby's life."

When I finally reached out to Susie to schedule this lunch with her, I didn't quite know what to expect. Of course, I'd assumed she already knew about the pregnancy, so I tried to remind myself that she wouldn't have been interested in sitting down together over lunch if she felt negatively toward me about it.

But now that I'd learned she had no clue about the pregnancy, nor the real reason Todd and I split up, and was responding to it the way she just had, it was safe to say I felt like a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

"I would never put my baby in the middle of adult problems," I said, my throat tight. "Coming into this lunch today, I didn't know what would happen, but I can't tell you how happy I am to know that you want to be involved. And I would love, regardless of where Todd winds up in all of this, for my baby to have a relationship with his father's family. You're going to be an aunt, Susie. And your parents are going to be grandparents. I hope they'll be just as excited for it as you imagine they'll be."

Another tear rolled down her cheek, and as she swiped at it with the tips of her fingers, she promised, "They will be. I know they will. I'm just hoping we can get my brother to wake up and realize what he's doing before it's too late."

I shrugged, feeling indifferent. What Todd chose to do from this point forward couldn't remain at the forefront of my mind. "I won't say that I don't hope for the same, but I'll be honest, Susie. I don't expect he's going to change his mind, and I'm living my life according to that notion."

She offered a nod of understanding in response. "I get it, and I don't blame you. So, when exactly do I become an aunt? How far along are you now? And do you know yet if the baby is a boy or a girl?"

Recognizing that this could have gone so much differently, feeling relieved it hadn't, I allowed myself to relish that and grinned at my friend. Then I shared all the good things I could about the pregnancy that had us both laughing, smiling, and feeling good.

By the time I left, my only regret was that I hadn't reached out to Susie sooner.

The high of my afternoon lunch with Susie wore off approximately an hour after I had dinner.

An incessant knock at my front door had me running in that direction, and when I opened the door up, I was nearly pushed back onto my ass as Todd barged in.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" I asked him.

Todd didn't respond and continued to move deeper into the house. I closed the door, followed behind him, and found him pacing in the living room. The last time he was here, he'd done the same exact thing. But where there'd been frustration before, it was now nothing but white-hot rage.

He came to a stop, allowed his eyes to roam over me from top to toe and back again with nothing but disgust in his expression. "You had no right."

My brows shot up, questioning him. "Pardon?"

Todd shook his head. "You had absolutely no right to share this news about the pregnancy with my family."

Evidently, Susie hadn't been joking when she said she hoped to talk some sense into her brother before it was too late. "Um, I'm not sure what you think happened, but?—"

"It wasn't your place to tell them!" he shouted.

"Okay, first of all, you aren't going to yell at me," I ordered. "If you care to discuss this, I'm happy to do so, but you will not be disrespectful to me in the process."

Todd narrowed his eyes in response, his chest heaving with the fury he very clearly felt. He hadn't ever been physically violent with me, but I was beginning to wonder if I had a reason to be fearful now. The worst thing I could do was let him believe I was afraid.

I took a moment, a deep breath, and one last long look in silence at Todd before I shared, "I had no intention of telling your family the news about the pregnancy, Todd. It's been weeks, and I assumed you had already done it. I mean, they had been expecting me to show up with you on Christmas Eve, and when I didn't, I imagined they didn't just ignore that. Maybe I didn't suspect you shared the news that day, but it's been weeks since then."

"You should have asked me about it before you went blabbing the news to my sister," he clipped.

"And I told you I would not be reaching out again after you all but threw those ultrasound photos back in my face," I reminded him. "I'm sorry you thought I was lying."

"You said that you wouldn't be reaching out to me about being involved in the baby's life or your life. You didn't say anything about you talking to my family," he countered.

I was dumbfounded. Was this guy serious? "Please tell me you're joking," I begged. "Do you honestly believe I would have called you for anything after the way you've handled this? Not only that, but I'll repeat, I assumed your family already knew the truth. It's not my fault that you chose to keep it from them. Plus, you know that Susie and I are friendly with each other. Did you think we'd never discuss it?"

He shook his head, the disgust he felt plain as day. "I can't believe you would do that. It was my news to tell."

I rolled my eyes. "And yet, you didn't share it. I'm sorry, Todd. Whether you choose to believe me is up to you, but I didn't go out of my way to deny you the chance to share the news on your own. It happened. There's nothing I can do to change it."

"Well, now that you've done that, I've got them up my ass, telling me how I need to rethink this whole thing. Is this how you thought you'd be able to win me back? I'm not coming back to you, Mia. I thought I already made that clear."

Wow.

Wow, he was a jerk.

"Can you blame me? I mean, how could I not want you back with how charming, affectionate, and compassionate you've been?" I scoffed. "Get over yourself. I know you think it's impossible that I could ever find a way to move on from you, but I have. I'm focusing on this baby. Not you and most certainly not the possibility of us ever getting back together. What I said before still stands. I won't stand in the way of a relationship between you and your child, but you've shown me everything I need to see to know I'm much better off without you."

"It's always been about you, Mia. Always. And here you go again, having to be Miss Independent, needing to prove to the world that you can do it all on your own," Todd declared, the bitterness dripping from every word he spoke.

What did I ever see in him?

"I guess it's a good thing I felt that way when it came to you, because I would have been severely disappointed if I ever thought I could depend on you," I seethed. "Now, get out of my house."

Todd held my stare for several beats. Whether he was attempting to intimidate me, I didn't know.

What I did know was that I was done with him now. If there had been any hope lingering about us working things out in the future, he'd just destroyed it. He made it clear how he felt about me, how he'd always feel about me, and I knew I deserved better, even if that meant being alone.

Finally, without another word, Todd turned, made his way to the front door, and left.

And I knew I hadn't been kidding myself about being done with him when I wasn't even remotely sad to see him go.