Chapter 15

15

NIKOLAI

I run my fingers through my hair, frustrated. How do I always screw things up with Riley? I'm terrible at this shit. I remove the dish from the oven and place some of the lasagna in a bowl. I take a bite. It's fucking delicious. Of course it is. Everything Riley does is perfect. That's the crux of my problem: She's too good for me.

It takes me a few minutes to find the serving tray. I grab a couple of drinks before I head for Riley's bedroom. When I enter, I don't see her. Before I can call out to her, she comes strolling out of the bathroom, her red hair piled on top of her head, and her cheeks rosy from the shower she just took.

"Hey."

"And that's what I'm talking about." I nod at her, setting the tray down.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" She strolls right past me, climbing onto her bed.

"I shouldn't be here."

"The door is right there." She points at it.

"Not going anywhere." I sit down on the bed next to her. My hand goes to her bare thigh, wanting to touch her. I expect her to push me away, but she doesn't. I can see some of her anger toward me starting to dissipate.

"What did you mean when you said that's what you were talking about?"

"Your shirt." Riley only has an oversized shirt on.

"What about it?"

"Like your gym clothes." Her eyes narrow on me again.

"I'm sorry I don't prance around gym class in only a sports bra and booty shorts."

"Yeah, that would never fucking happen."

"See! You're so confusing!" She throws her hands up.

"What's confusing? Your damn gym shirt hangs all the way past your shorts, making it look like you're not wearing anything but the shirt. That if I slip my hand up your thigh—" I do exactly that. I trail my fingers up her soft inner thigh. No matter how many times I tell myself I'm gonna be good and leave her be, I can't resist her. Whenever I'm near her, I want to touch her. "That I'd find your panties." Riley lets out a small gasp when I use my knuckle to stroke her clit through her panties.

"Nikolai," she breathes out.

"You got the white panties on." I lick my lips, thinking about tasting her again. "Fucking love those." I keep dragging my knuckle back and forth slowly, not giving her enough pressure to get off but enough to tease. I want her to be needy for it. Needy for me. God knows I am for her.

"You really like my plain panties?" Like is an understatement.

"There is nothing plain when it comes to you, Riley." Fuck, she's so damn pretty. Her features remind me of a porcelain doll. Delicate and small. Her cheeks are full, and she has a small button nose. "What else confuses you, Riley? Because I want to be really fucking clear. This shit is new to me. I'm trying to figure it out the best I can as I go."

"What's new to you?" Riley's teeth sink into her bottom lip.

"Whatever this is."

"Ah." She scoffs. "And that's what I mean."

"You're mine. That's it. Call it whatever. Sal doesn't get you, that shithead Brent doesn't get you." I cup her pussy in my hand. "No one but me gets you." Her mouth opens and then closes. Fuck, I want to kiss her so badly that it hurts, but I also want to address whatever it is that's causing her to pull away from me. "Anything else you're confused about?"

"I don't like Sal that way." She has already told me that.

"Apparently I have jealousy issues when it comes to you. You'll have to learn to deal with it." I shrug. I don't see that shit changing. I could lie and say I'll try, but I know that is a battle that I'll fail. Only a dumbass enters a battle they know they're going to lose.

"To deal with it?" Her nose scrunches. "That's rich coming from you." Riley folds her arms over her chest. She does that when she's about to shut me out. That's not happening tonight.

"Riley." I try to soften my tone, but I'm on edge at this point. It's not helping that I still have my hand over her pussy. I want to slide her panties to the side and thrust a finger into her cunt. Find out how tight she is. "I told you. This is new to me. I've never been in a relationship."

"I haven't either," she huffs. Yeah, her father and brother kept her locked away from other men. I want to both thank them and kill them. Thankfully, they're six feet under. "But is this a relationship?" She motions with her hand between us.

"You can call it whatever the hell you want." I don't give a shit. I already made it clear to her that she's mine.

"What about you? You're always going out late. Hanging out at the clubs. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I'm working." It's more than that. "I try to keep busy, Riley. You're too damn tempting."

"I'm tempting?" She ducks her head shyly. Riley really has no clue how alluring she is. Hell, that's only a part of what attracts me to her. She doesn't have to try. It's simply her. "I see the girls at the club, Nikolai."

"Hey." I take her chin in my hand to make her meet my eyes. "You think I've been out with other women?" Why the fuck hasn't that dawned on me? I don't need her to answer. I can see it in her eyes. "I promise you, Riley, I haven't. That's not the type of man I am."

"Really?" There is no one but her. With how I grew up with my mother, sex was always something I despised. I detested her dragging me to work with her, and I harbored a deep-seated animosity toward the men who frequented the whorehouses. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never turn into one of them.

"I won't lie to you. That's why sometimes I dodge your questions. I didn't want you to know I work late so that I'm not sneaking into your room at night. Doing things I shouldn't be." I don't add in the part where I think she's too good for me. That I tried for the longest time not to soil her with my bullshit but I lost that battle.

"Nikolai!" She gasps, but a smile lights up her face. "I like waking up with you. I just didn't like that you kind of humped me and then took off."

"It was leave or fuck you." Her eyes widen. I wince. I shouldn't be so crude.

"Oh," Riley says, licking her lips. "So it's not just like, ah." She stumbles over her words. "Sex?" I pull my hand out from between her thighs.

"Come here." I hate that I made her feel like that. It's the exact opposite of what I wanted. I don't wait for her to move. I grab her, pulling her into my lap. Her shirt rides up her thighs. Yep, there are those fucking white panties. Riley places her hands on my shoulders. "My mother was a sex worker. I hated it. All of it. The men, the strange places, and the sounds. All of it disgusted me. Even now, when I've had to do a pickup or meet at a strip club, it takes me back to being a little boy. I fight not to be physically ill."

"Oh, Nikolai." Riley puts her soft hand on my cheek. "We don't have to?—"

"It's different with you." Riley melts more into me. "You're different. Now a floodgate of need has opened, and it makes me want to do dirty things to you. Keep you all to myself." I never thought any of this was in the cards for me until I laid eyes on Riley.

"Okay."

"Okay?" I can feel my brows lift. She nods, smiling.

"That's all I needed." Riley leans in and presses her mouth against mine in a kiss. I wrap my arms around her, holding her close. The feeling I have at this moment is indescribable. It's a bit overwhelming, but I welcome every damn second of it.

"So you're mine."

"Yeah, I'm yours," she agrees.

"Then you'll eat."

Riley snorts a laugh. "Fine, but you're lucky that I sort of think it's hot when you're bossy."

She's not wrong. I am fucking lucky. I haven't done anything in this life to deserve her, but I'll die before I ever give her back.