Chapter 14 - Lorelei

“And you’re going to need this, and this, and—oh! Can’t forget about these.” Andi placed item after item in my hands, everything from new mom books to baby clothes, as she dragged me deeper into the store. “And if you want to start looking for strollers now, this one right here is a great buy!”

“Cool it, Andi,” Holly said, giggling slightly as she plucked most of the pile out of my hands and placed them into a cart. “Lorelei just found out she was pregnant in the first place. She deserves a bit of time to adjust before she goes shopping.”

Andi gave a disappointed tch sound before sighing. “You’re probably right,” she conceded, glancing at the stroller. “Besides, I think I have a bunch of this stuff at home already. If I don’t, then Jenn or Iris probably has some of them. Assuming you’re okay with hand-me-downs.”

I looked at the price tag on the stroller she had pointed out and grimaced. “Yeah, anything I don’t have to pay full price for, I’m definitely interested in,” I said.

“Great!” Andi exclaimed. “I’ll have Luke bring it by your place soon.”

My place . The idea still felt foreign, almost uncomfortable, like clothes that didn’t fit quite right or shoes that needed breaking in. It wasn’t unpleasant, exactly, but the words still made something stir in me, only I couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. I’d spent my entire life in my cottage, most of it on my own. That was my place. Not Mark’s house. But even as I thought that, some kernel disagreed. It wondered if maybe it was time to change all that, wondered if Brixton would be that terrible.

“Now, if you really want to shop for her right this minute, I can think of far more useful things that she’ll need soon,” Georgia said, dragging me out of my thoughts. “Maternity clothes.”

Andi squealed. Before any of us could say anything else, Andi and Jenn grabbed my arms and pulled me toward the maternity clothes section of the vast store. I wasn’t even showing yet, but the girls were so excited that I couldn’t say no.

After all of ten minutes, Georgia, Andi, and Jenn had all pulled out a mountain of clothes for me to try on, though they all refused to let me help when I offered to carry some of the clothes to the changing room. And so it went over and over again. There seemed to be an endless supply of clothes for me to try, and they kept finding more.

After an hour, at which point I told them I needed a breather, Holly came over to me. “Hanging in there?” she asked. “The girls mean well, but they can definitely be a lot if they ambush you like this.”

“It’s my fault for dropping the ‘p-word,’” I joked. “How did you get involved with this crew, anyway?”

Holly smirked. “I was friends with Andi when we were kids. We reconnected a couple of years ago. At some point, she decided to absorb me into the group. They’re hard to say no to.”

“Yeah, but it’s part of their charm,” I said, making Holly laugh as she nodded in agreement.

Again, that bizarre feeling of belonging washed over me. I never would have believed a year ago, or even two months ago when the shifters rescued me from Inara’s den, that I would ever feel that way about anywhere. Up until now, the only place I’d felt like this was at my cottage, alone.

And it wasn’t just the girls. It was Mark as well. His reaction to the pregnancy had taken me by surprise. I had expected the worst but gotten the best. It had been the first time that I believed he might have changed, that maybe he wasn’t as bad as I had thought. And now that I was having his baby, I had fantasized more than once about what it would be like to stay in Brixton with him, what that might look like. That confusion, coupled with the erratic emotions of pregnancy, had made things a lot more complicated than I would have anticipated.

After the girls bought me several bags’ worth of clothing, going deaf when I offered to pay, it was time for me to head back to Mark’s place. I waved goodbye to them and headed through the town square.

“Lorelei.”

I turned to see a gruff figure strutting toward me. Declan looked slightly more kempt than when he’d rescued me, though he still had that rugged appearance.

“Hi,” I said.

“Heard you were out and about,” he said. His nostrils flared, and he glanced down at my stomach. “Also heard the good news. I suppose congratulations are in order.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, still eyeing him. “Though I’m guessing you didn’t come just to say that. What’s up?”

Declan chuckled, eyes crinkling at the sides. “Perceptive,” he remarked. He jerked his head to the side, out of the flow of pedestrians and, more importantly, out of earshot. “Though I suppose it’s also fairly obvious. I’m guessing you already know what I want to talk about.”

I nodded, keeping my face blank. “I have my suspicions. But I want to hear you say it.”

He nodded. “Fair enough. I want you to work with me on figuring out how to open the way to The Trove.”

It was exactly what I had expected to hear, and exactly what I had feared. The request put me between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, if I agreed, I’d be helping the cause but would most likely upset Mark. On the other hand, if I said no, which was what Mark would want, I could be condemning everything Declan and the others had been working on.

In the end, though, it was a no-brainer. The idea of going against Mark’s wishes made my insides squirm with guilt—or maybe that was the pregnancy—but I couldn’t sit by and do nothing. Not when I knew I could help.

Still, it was strange. A couple of weeks ago, I would have helped Declan and the others out of obligation, because it was the right thing to do. It wasn’t because I thought of any of them were my friends or because of any attachment to the community. When Declan had first asked me to help after getting me out of Inara’s den, I had agreed with the expectation that I would leave and go back to my cottage as quickly as possible. Helping had been the quickest solution to getting out of my situation.

Now, however, when I thought about helping, it had more to do with wanting to protect the people I’d met here. Georgia and Holly and Astrid and the rest. I wanted to make sure they were safe. Getting home quicker was such a distant motivation, it seemed strange it had ever been part of the equation.

That still left the problem of Mark. I knew if I asked him, he would say no. There was every chance he would try to lock me up again, and I didn’t think I could handle that. But the idea of keeping it secret didn’t seem fair to him.

The only way I could help would be to keep it from him. Which meant I had to be secretive, even if I didn’t want to.

The only reassurance I could give myself was that even if Mark was the father of my baby, that didn’t give him ownership over me, no matter what he said. We weren’t a couple. I didn’t have to listen to his wishes. I was my own person. Still, the idea of keeping such a monumental secret from him, one he would most likely find out about, didn’t feel right, either. Especially if it put me and the baby in danger.

Declan must have read my mind because he said, “I’m not asking you to do anything dangerous. I just want your help in figuring out how to access The Trove. I found a witch nearby who agreed to lend us some spell books. They might help you figure out what spell is hiding the entrance or jog your memory so that you remember how to do it. After that, there’s a chance you can take a step back. It could be that we get another witch to take over from there.”

He didn’t sound particularly convinced about that last part, and I didn’t blame him. I didn’t know many witches who would willingly go up against Inara. In fact, I didn’t know of any. Which meant…

“I’ll help,” I finally agreed, nodding as I took a deep breath. “But not a word to Mark.”

“Seems like we’re on the same page there,” Declan agreed. “He’s a good guy, but I don’t think he would be particularly happy about this, even if it is just books.”

Again, that nugget of guilt wriggled its way deep inside me, an unpleasant reminder of how Mark would feel. I kept telling myself that it shouldn’t matter. Not only were we not a couple, but there was every chance I would be gone after all this was over, anyway. The baby complicated matters, of course, but I could still go back to my normal, isolated life when all this was over. There was a chance Mark wouldn’t be in my life in a few months, unless we split custody of our child.

So why did I feel so guilty about it?

I pushed all my hesitation aside. In the end, it didn’t matter. Declan was right. We needed to do this whether Mark wanted it or not. It was the only way to stop a dangerous witch from gaining power.

If I was the person who could tip the scales in our favor, I couldn’t say no.