Chapter 13 - Mark

I walked toward the house, cradling the large bag of groceries in one hand as I let my mind wander. Things seemed to be looking up. No word of Inara over the last few days, but the Council had people keeping an ear to the ground, and everyone seemed confident that we would hear of her long before she started stirring up trouble. On top of that, Lorelei and I seemed to have come to a better understanding over the last couple of weeks. It had been a slow, gradual shift, but she was opening up to me more. She smiled at me more often, too. At the very least, I was no longer perpetually on the receiving end of one of her scowls. I could see a path forward.

But when I took the final steps to the house and saw the door, I paused, then stiffened as I registered one crucial thing about the front door.

It was unlocked.

My mind spun as I panicked, my mind going in a dozen different directions. Lorelei had run away. She had been kidnapped. Someone had forced their way in and killed her. A bear or some other big animal from the woods had come in, unlocked the door, and killed her.

I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. There was a chance I was overreacting. I probably was, for all I knew. Perhaps Declan had decided to ignore me and come to see her. Until I knew more about the situation, I couldn’t jump to conclusions.

My wolf snarled, flexing his claws as his worry and frustration churned inside me, mixing with my own emotions even as I tried to keep them separate.

Forcing myself to get a grip and stay calm, I pushed open the door. “Lorelei?” I called.

No answer. Her scent, still lingering, smelled stale, and when I pricked my ears, I couldn’t hear any shuffling or breathing, nothing that would indicate she was still here.

“Lorelei?” I yelled again.

I scanned the area. It didn’t look like there had been a struggle. Inara could have whisked her away without a sign, but I couldn’t smell anyone else. Which could only mean she had run off on her own.

My wolf snarled in frustration, his emotions melding with my own. How could she be so selfish? So careless? She was putting herself in danger.

I pushed my frustration out of the way. I wanted to chew her out, but the most important thing to do was find her and make sure she was safe. I couldn’t afford to be angry.

I tore outside, shifting as I did. My wolf shook his head, claws digging into the soft earth as he relished being in control. But this wasn’t just a fun jaunt through the forest. All I could focus on was finding Lorelei and making sure she was safe.

I pounded through the woods, following the faint traces of her scent, anger and panic fighting for dominance as I continued to track her. Why the hell would she do something so reckless? It didn’t matter, though. I had to get to her before someone else found her. Assuming that hadn’t already happened.

Her scent grew stronger. As it did, some of my panic eased as I realized no other scents had melded with hers. At this point, at least, she had been alone. I still couldn’t fathom why she had run off, but I could leave that be for the time being until I knew she was safe.

Even as that protectiveness overrode all other emotions, I couldn’t help but feel twinges of frustration and betrayal. She had promised she wouldn’t run. She had lied to me. I didn’t know why. Part of me didn’t want to find out; that part cared more about getting her back to safety.

Act now. Questions later.

I could smell I was getting close, and my pace increased until I could tell I was almost at her. I broke through the brush to find Lorelei sitting on a rock, staring into a creek, her knees drawn into her chest. She screamed, jumping to her feet as she spun around. But then her eyes flashed with recognition. The panic in her face dimmed but didn’t vanish. Instead, it mixed with wariness, and she took a step back.

“Hi, Mark,” she muttered.

I shifted. From where I stood, I scanned her carefully, checking for injuries, not relaxing until I assured myself she wasn’t hurt and there was no one else around. Now that I knew she was all right and was positive she had left on her own accord, ignoring my wishes, my frustration got the better of me.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I growled, stalking toward her. She shuffled backward. “Why would you just up and leave like that? Do you know how worried I was about you? I—”

A strange scent wafted toward me, one that was mixed with Lorelei’s. I paused, cutting myself off as I tried to identify the scent. It wasn’t a different scent; it was more like her scent had changed. Come to think of it, in retrospect, hadn’t her scent been different the last few days? It had just been so subtle that I hadn’t noticed.

There were only a handful of reasons why her scent might have changed. Out of those, only one of them might have caused her to run away.

My mouth opened as I stared at Lorelei, the implication slamming into me. My eyes darted to her stomach, as if expecting to see a noticeable bump that hadn’t been there this morning.

She saw my expression and gave a bitter, rueful smile. “I was kind of hoping I was wrong the whole time and it was all in my head. But that look from you basically just confirmed it,” she said, wrapping her arms around her stomach. “Surprise,” she said ironically.

“Are you really…” My mouth had gone dry. “You’re really…” I couldn’t get out the word. It felt too bizarre and foreign.

“Pregnant?” she supplied. She took a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair, looking at anywhere but me. “I haven’t had a test yet, but like I said, your reaction makes it seem pretty likely. So, yeah.”

“Oh.” It was the only thing I could think to say.

She finally looked at my face, her brow furrowed as though she was scrutinizing me, trying to get a read on my reaction. I wished I could have given her something, except I had no idea how I felt about any of it.

I had never considered being a father. Not that I had thought it was out of the question or anything; it was just something that I’d never thought about one way or the other. But now it was staring me right in the face, forcing me to decide how I felt about it right at that moment.

I stared at Lorelei. Her hands had wrapped around her stomach. She looked so small and frightened.

I closed my eyes. Whatever I felt didn’t matter. She needed me.

“Come here.” I gently took her by the wrist and pulled her into a hug, holding her against me, my hand on the back of her head. “Don’t worry. It’s going to be all right.”

We stayed like that for who knew how long, the silence surrounding us. After a long moment, Lorelei stepped back, her face still full of worry.

“Are you mad?” she finally asked.

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to figure out how to form my thoughts into words. “I’m not mad. Not at all. I just don’t know how to feel. It’s kind of a lot, especially when I wasn’t expecting it.” I looked at her. “How do you feel?”

She blinked, as if she hadn’t expected me to ask, or she hadn’t even considered for herself. Her brow furrowed. “I don’t know. Scared? Confused?” She glanced up at me again, and her cheeks reddened. “Maybe a little happy? I’ve always wanted a baby. I never thought it would happen, considering I was effectively a hermit.”

I snorted. “Yeah, that’s all perfectly understandable. I think I just need time to get adjusted and figure out what’s going on in my head.”

She nodded, staring at her feet. “I get that you won’t want me around anymore.”

I stared at her in disbelief. “Are you kidding?” I took several steps toward her, reaching out and pulling her toward me again. “If anything, I want to keep you closer to me.”

“You do?” she asked, sounding surprised.

“Of course,” I said. “You’re carrying my baby. No matter what ends up happening, I’m here for you. We’re going to make this work. I promise.”

Tears flooded into her eyes, though they didn’t spill over. “You really mean it,” she acknowledged, choking out a disbelieving laugh. “I thought… I thought...” She trailed off.

Realization struck me. “Is that why you ran?” I asked. “Because you thought I wouldn’t want you around anymore?”

She hesitated, chewing her lip as her hand wrapped almost unconsciously around her stomach. “Partly?” she said. “I don’t know. It’s just… I remember what you were like and how much you hated me when we were kids. Things have actually been decent between us lately. I’ve actually started…” She coughed, trailing off as pink tinged her cheeks. “Anyway, I know you’ve gone to great lengths to show me you aren’t the same person anymore, but I was still worried that something like this, with me of all people, might change things between us.”

I pulled her into a half-hug, wrapping one arm protectively around her shoulder. She stiffened for a moment, then relaxed into the hold.

“It does change things,” I admitted. “But not in the way you think.”

I’d felt protective of her before, but now that I knew she was carrying my cub, that emotion had amplified tenfold. There was no way in hell I was going to let anything happen to her. I’d tear anyone who tried to hurt her into shreds before they could even put a finger on her.

“We’ll figure this out,” I said, stroking her soft, slightly tousled hair. “No matter what happens in the next couple of months, with Inara or between us, I promise you we’ll figure it out.”

She looked up at me, surprise flickering across her face again. “You really have changed,” she marveled.

I shrugged. “Hey, I’m allowed to not be the same idiot kid I was all those years ago,” I said. When she snorted, I jerked my head in the direction of the house. “Come on, let’s go back home.”

Something flickered across her expression. Of course, she didn’t think of my place as her home. Something about that disappointed me more than I would have expected. Still, she gave a half-smile and nodded, allowing me to steer her around and lead her through the woods, my arm still around her.

She slowed as we neared the house, her body tensing. I paused to look at her.

“Is something wrong?” I asked. “Was that too much walking?”

“No, it’s not that.” She kept her eyes on the door. She hesitated, finally turning to look at me, her eyes filled with caution. “You’re not going to lock me in the house again, are you? I don’t think I can take it much longer.”

I frowned and turned to face her. “You just ran away, and you want me to trust you enough not to do it again?”

“Yes.” The word was so blunt it would have taken me aback had I not had way too many other surprises by this point.

I growled, scowling. “You’ll put yourself in danger.”

“You can’t know that. More importantly, you can’t keep me locked up in your house forever,” she argued.

“Watch me,” I snarled.

She rolled her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. “God, you are so controlling.” She looked up at me again. “I’m not going anywhere. Not after this. At least not until we figure out the next steps. And if I’m sticking around, I’m not going to be stuck in your house. I want to get out and explore the town.”

“You’re planning on staying?” I asked cautiously. It was the first time she had ever mentioned even considering it.

She shrugged. “For now? Yes. At least until the baby is born and we know more about what we want. After that, we’ll see.”

I knew what I wanted. I wanted her. That didn’t mean I liked the idea of her wandering around without protection. Still, I thought back to her expression when I’d mentioned home. She didn’t see this place as her home. She saw it as another prison. If I kept locking her in here, that would only enhance the feeling. And if she really wanted to stay for a while, the last thing I wanted was for her to see this place in that light.

I hesitated as all these thoughts rolled around in my mind. When she glanced at me, she rolled her eyes again and folded her arms.

“It’s not like I’ll be waltzing around alone at midnight,” she pointed out. “Even if Inara is coming after me, she isn’t going to scoop me up from the middle of town around a bunch of people.”

“She might,” I countered, even though I knew she had a point.

Her hand reached out, hesitating for a moment before taking mine. “You can’t control me forever,” she said, looking me in the eyes.

I exhaled and closed my eyes. The problem was, I knew that. I had been overprotective and controlling up to this point. If Lorelei was sticking around, if she was having my baby, I couldn’t keep doing that. But that need to keep her safe was even worse now that a cub had been thrown into the mix. How the hell was I supposed to be less protective when there was a baby on the way? I wanted to guard both of them. Why couldn’t she just see that?

But when I looked at her face, those wide, green eyes staring back at me, a mix of anxiety and stubbornness etched across her features, my stomach lurched. I wanted her safe, but I also knew that if I kept going about it the way I was, I’d drive her away forever. We had just gotten on speaking terms. I couldn’t lose her again.

“Yeah, all right,” I said.

She blinked, arms falling to her side as if she hadn’t really thought I would concede. “Really?” she asked, her voice filled with trepidation as she regarded me wearily.

I nodded. “Really.”

Without warning, she wrapped her arms around me, resting her head on my chest as she hugged me. “Thanks,” she said.

Without thinking, I bent down and kissed her on the forehead. She started, blinking up at me in surprise, but didn’t let go.

“Let’s get you inside,” I said.