Nine

Judson

When River steps out of the hospital a little after five, I'm not surprised at the anxiety on his face in the few seconds before he spots my Jeep in the parking lot. I've been waiting over twenty minutes because there was no way in hell I was going to be late. It probably seems like a really small thing to most people, but after I left him for six years, he has no reason to trust me.

"Hey." River gives me a bright smile when he climbs into the passenger side of my Jeep. "Thanks for picking me up."

"Of course." I put the car in reverse and start backing out of the parking space. "How was work?"

"Busy," he replies. "Summer has a lot of injuries, but it's better than flu season."

"I can't believe you chose to work in a field where you're surrounded by sick people. Remember how you didn't want to go to school in December in grade school because you didn't want to catch that bug that was going around?"

His cheeks redden. "For the record, my neighbor said Santa wouldn't visit my house if I was sick."

I press my lips into a thin line so I don't laugh. "That's one of the most precious things I've ever heard."

"Oh, fuck off."

We ride in comfortable silence to his apartment complex that lasts through the elevator ride. It's taking a lot of my willpower not to pin him against the wall and kiss the fuck out of him right now. But I'd promised to give him more information about the day we escaped Ian's house. I have to talk about that first. He's waited long enough.

I'm not nearly as nervous to talk about this part of it as I was when I told him about meeting Ian at the party. With that, I felt like he had every right to hate me, but this is just stating facts.

When we enter River's apartment, he locks the door behind us as kicks his shoes off before reaching for his cell phone. "I'm ordering some food in. I don't feel like cooking. You want Chinese?"

I nod. I'd honestly accept anything from him. I don't care about what food we eat—I just want to spend time with him.

River finishes ordering the food, then moves to sit on the edge of his sectional sofa. "Can you tell me about how we got out now? Because once the food comes, I kind of just want to put it out of my mind if possible."

"Of course." I sit beside him, angling a little so I can see him. "You know, we don't have to talk about it at all."

"I want to know. I want to put that part of this all behind me too." He pauses before adding, "If you're okay with it. I don't want to make you talk about something when you don't want to."

"No, I want to just get it out."

To my surprise, River reaches over and takes my hand that's resting on my knee. "Then say it. And we can put it behind us and start again."

His calmness soothes me, making it easier to start talking.

"Remember I'd figured out how to open the window in the basement? We'd talked about it the night before—how we would run when he left for the store?"

He frowns. "Vaguely. It's all kind of a blurry mess."

"Well, we'd agreed to try. But when I tried to wake you after he left, you weren't moving. Your breath was so shallow." I close my eyes, trying to block out the panic clawing at my chest. Trying to remind myself that River's alive and he's safe and whole.

River squeezes my hand but doesn't say anything.

I take a breath and open my eyes before pushing on. "I got the window open, and I pulled you out of it. Your arm got cut on one of the nails in the window frame, and there was a lot of blood." I swallow before adding, "It wasn't like you had much to spare after…well, after Ian was done with us."

His fingers tighten around mine, and I stare down at our joined hands. How many times did I hold his hand in that basement? How many times was I the one to comfort him?

"Ian came back early; I guess he forgot something. I never found out. But he saw us." Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can still see that murderous look on Ian's face when he realized we'd gotten out of the house. "I had to let go of you."

I pause again. How is this just as hard as telling him about the party? While I don't feel any guilt this time, the memories are just as painful as if it was happening again right now. I remember laying River down in the tall grass, watching the green turn to red from the blood on him. Knowing that if I failed in fighting Ian off, River was going to die. I'd been so scared. So certain I would fuck up and we would never make it home.

"It's okay," River says softly, pulling me back to the present. "You don't have to say anymore."

I shake my head. River deserves to hear this. "Ian took a swing at me, and I shoved him. I didn't know there was an empty well behind him. If he hadn't shown up and blocked my path, we probably would've fallen into it. I was too busy watching you that I wasn't looking where we were going. Ian fell right down into the well. The cops said a broken neck killed him. That he didn't suffer down there."

That had bothered me. River and I had just survived the worst week of our lives, and Ian got off scot-free.

"That's everything," I say. "I got you in his truck, and I drove us to the hospital."

River reaches out and touches my chin, turning my face so our gazes meet. "Thank you for saving me."

"You wouldn't have been in there in the first place if it hadn't been for me."

"Thank you for saving me," he repeats firmly. "You could've left without me, and you didn't."

"I would never leave without you. Even if it hadn't been my fault that we were there."

"It wasn't your fault."

He sounds so certain, just like he did when I told him the whole story a week ago in his kitchen. But I don't know how I'm supposed to see it the same way he does.

"Judson…" Whatever he was going to say dies as I lean close and press my lips to his. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Shouldn't be seeking warmth from River. But when his mouth opens, and his tongue slides against mine, I let all other thoughts fly out of my head.

I cup the back of his neck and guide him to lie back on the couch with my body over his. I can feel the heat coming off his skin, and I can't help myself. I pull my hand from his neck and ghost my fingers along his cock through his scrub bottoms.

His teeth sink into his lower lip, and his hips buck upward.

My heartbeat picks up as my nerves settle. This is what I need. Being with River was the only good thing that came out of our time with Ian. And the last time we were together showed me that I still know his body, still know how he likes to be touched. I can give him everything he wants.

"Wait," River mumbles against my lips, and I pull away so I can look down at him. His eyes are blown wide with lust, and his cheeks are splotched with red.

"Don't you need to talk some more?"

The thought of talking anymore about Ian turns my stomach. "No. I just want to be with you."

I'm not sure he quite believes me, but I hook my fingers into the front of his scrubs and pull down enough to expose his cock, and River's eyes flutter closed.

I move a little further down until I'm seated between his legs, my hands on his thighs. "I want to taste you, River."

His eyes fly open, and he meets my gaze. I didn't get the opportunity to do this in Ian's house. River just always wanted me inside him, and I never pushed for more. I wasn't sure if he wanted anything else. But we're free now, and I'm dying to have him inside my mouth.

River licks his lips, and I watch the embarrassment flicker in his eyes for just a moment before he nods quickly.

I slide my hands underneath him so I can grab his ass tightly. Then I lift his hips and lick the tip of his cock.

River groans, and lets his head fall back against the sofa cushion.

His thighs are tense at first, but the more I run my tongue along the side of his cock, the more his body relaxes.

I lick his balls before gently tugging one into my mouth with my teeth.

He hisses, and his hands curl into fists at his sides. "Fuck, Judson. Fuck, that feels good."

"You haven't felt anything yet," I murmur before taking him in my mouth all the way down to the base.

River cries out, and his hips buck up before he quickly lowers them with a mumbled apology.

I release him and glance up. "River, look at me."

His eyes open. "I'm sorry. It felt really good."

"Don't apologize. I want you to do that. I want you to grab my head and fuck my mouth as hard as you want to."

His cheeks redden further, and his mouth opens in a little O. "A-Are you sure?"

My only response is to pull his scrubs further down his thighs and duck my head again. His cock is dripping with precum when I take him back into my mouth.

Tentatively, River's hands slide along my head. His fingers twist into my hair. He stays like that for a minute, and I don't push him. I just keep licking and sucking, bringing him back to that place he was in before I stopped.

The longer I go on, the tighter his hands get on my head. Then his hips lift experimentally, sliding his cock deeper into my mouth.

I hum my approval, and he does it again and again, his moves growing more certain the longer it goes on. His fingers dig into my scalp, and he snaps his hips, seeking more.

I slide a finger into my mouth along with his cock and wet it down before nestling it between his cheeks. When he lowers his ass to the couch again, I press my finger into his entrance.

"Ah!" River's hips snap faster, and I keep my finger in him, crooking it every time he slams back down. I relax my throat, letting him in as deep as he can go, and I feel it the moment he lets himself go.

Warm liquid pours down the back of my throat, and I swallow everything he has to offer. His thrusts are erratic as he grunts, chasing his orgasm. I keep my finger in him, my dick hardening at the way his walls clench over and over around the digit. His thighs shake on either side of my head, but I don't let go of him until his cock is fully soft in my mouth. When I finally release him, River stares up at the ceiling panting.

I put his clothes back in place, and he reaches out quickly, grabbing my wrist.

"Wait. I-I need to…" He trails off but glances down where my cock is pressing painfully hard against the zipper of my jeans.

"It's fine," I say truthfully. "I'll take care of it."

"Are you kidding me? No way." River pushes me a little until my back's against the couch and he's straddling my thighs.

"River, this isn't an exchange thing. I can do something for you and not expect anything in return—" I have more to say, but my voice stops working when River pulls the zipper of my jeans down and wraps his long fingers around my cock.

"I'm not going to last long," I warn. "Because sucking your dick was one of the hottest things I've ever gotten to do."

"Well, the food's almost here," River teases. "So I'm gonna need you to come as quickly as possible."

I let my head fall back against the couch, getting lost in the feel of River's hand working my dick. His thumb swipes the precum on the tip, and he pumps my cock with practiced strokes.

The orgasm slams into me before I'm ready, my whole body arching up. The only thing that keeps me on the couch is River on my thighs.

I come all over his hand and lap, my pulse thundering in my ears.

River looks down at his hand covered in my spend and slowly lifts his index finger to his mouth. I watch as his tongue darts out to taste it.

My cock twitches just at the sight of it. "Fuck, River, you cannot do that or you'll have to start jerking me off again."

River lowers his hand and leans forward to kiss me. "I could spend all night touching you," he murmurs.

I grip his hips and kiss him back hungrily. Maybe I don't deserve this second chance with him, but my body's full of greed, and I take everything he's willing to give me.