Epilogue

Judson

Ten Months Later

I hear the bathroom door open down the hall as I'm plating the eggs and bacon. I love the sound of it. I love living with River and knowing he's right down the hall. I love cooking for him and being here when he gets home from work. I've known for a long time that I wanted to be with River; I just didn't realize how much I would enjoy being his .

We both fought hard for this, to be here together. I was in therapy for three months before we even broached the subject of dating again. I'll never stop being thankful that he still wanted me.

Even with all of that, it hadn't been easy. I'd been scared of messing things up, and he'd been worried about doing anything that would reverse the progress I'd made in counseling. As if that were possible. River's only ever made me a better man.

He appears in the kitchen now, running a hand through his damp hair. It's his day off, so he's in jeans and a light blue T-shirt instead of his usual scrubs. "It smells good in here."

I slide my hand around his hip and pull him close so I can kiss him before he gets too far away. "McKenzie came around and picked Bryce up while you were in the shower."

He lifts an eyebrow. "And you're so obviously excited about your nephew leaving because why?"

I slide my hand down to cup his firm ass. "Don't play innocent."

Bryce stayed with us all weekend, and River refused to do anything with him in the apartment, even after Bryce was tucked safely in to sleep for the night.

"He could've heard us," River says now, a little furrow between his brows. "Do you really want his first memory to be of his uncle having sex?"

"Babe, he's ten months old and was in a totally different room with two doors between us. He wouldn't have heard us."

He crosses his arms stubbornly, and I relent. Who's right doesn't matter. All I want right now is to have the thing we've been denying ourselves for the last three days.

I grip his ass and lean down to press my lips to his.

He moans but pulls back a little. "The food will get cold."

"Who cares?" I turn him so his back is pressed against the counter, then my mouth is back on his. His breath comes in these quick little gasps that drive me wild, and I don't think he has any idea how fucking sexy he is.

I grip his hips and lift him up on the counter, then slide my body between his legs. Even though it's only been a few days, it feels like I haven't touched him in a month. My body is starved for him.

I slide my hands from his hips to his thighs, then pull the zipper of his jeans down.

He moans into my mouth as his cock springs free, and I waste no time in wrapping my hand around it. He's rock-hard, his cock already leaking at the tip.

"That feels good," he murmurs.

The need in his voice has me tightening my grip and pulling away so I can watch his eyes flutter closed. "I want to take you right here," I whisper, skimming my nose along his jaw. "I want to lay you out on this counter and fuck your ass. I want you to come so hard that you remember it every time you step foot in the kitchen."

His eyes open and he pulls away from me just enough to meet my gaze. "Then do it."

It's all the invitation I need.

I release his cock so I can pull at his jeans. He lifts his hips so I can tug them down his legs, then he relaxes back on the counter. His skin is flushed with pink, and desire shines from his dark green eyes. He looks so fucking happy and content.

I reach up into the cabinet above his head and pull down some coconut oil because I don't want to break the moment and track down lube from our bedroom. Plus, using it always reminds me of the first night we spent together when I came back to Portland. When he gave me a second chance even though I had no right to ask for one.

River takes the bottle from me and pours some on his fingers while I push down my sweats to allow my cock to spring free. It's hard and aching and desperately wants to be inside River.

He gives me a little smirk as if he knows what I'm thinking, then grips my dick and starts rubbing the oil onto me. My hips jerk without my meaning to, and River glances up at me. "Hold still."

"I'm trying. You have no idea how hard it is to let you touch me when all I want is to be pounding your tight little ass already."

The tips of his ears turn pink, but he doesn't speed up the motion of his hand around my cock. If anything, he goes slower. "Do you really think it's easy for me? You think I don't imagine your huge dick in me all the time? Because I do. When you're not in me, I feel so fucking empty."

He pumps me harder with the last two words, and I reach out to grab the edge of the counter on either side of his thighs. "Fuck, River."

"You make me so hard for you." He leans forward and bites my earlobe, leaving a stinging mark. "All this delicious food you made, and all I want in my mouth is your dick. How is that fair?"

I reach down and grab his wrist before he makes me come without me ever being inside him. "Enough," I growl. "You want my cock in you? You're gonna take it all."

I don't give him a chance to speak. I grip his legs and jerk him to the edge of the counter. He lets out a little squeak as I bring his legs up on my shoulders, baring his ass to me. Then I ram my cock deep into that sweet hole.

"Ah!" His legs shake around me, and his hands scrabble for the edge of the counter so he has something to grip.

"This what you're so desperate for?" I ask, pulling out so I can shove back in again. "Is this what you need?"

"I— Oh, fuck, yes. Fuck, I need more, Judson." He lifts his hips to meet my thrusts, and I respond in kind. I keep my hands on his hips to help him balance and plow into his ass over and over, snapping my hips as hard as I can, chasing the high only River can give me. The angle lets me go in impossibly deep, hitting River's prostate every time.

He abandons his grip on the counter so he can grab my shoulder with one hand, and he wraps the other around his cock between us.

"That's right," I murmur, looking down so I can watch as the tip of his cock slides in and out of his grip. "You said I make you hard, so let me see it. Let me see everything you've been saving up all weekend."

His body jerks, and he comes with a scream. His walls squeeze my dick so tight that my vision nearly whites out from the pleasure. My orgasm slams into me without warning, and I ride it out with him, losing myself in the feel and scent of him.

Only when we're both completely empty do I ease out of him. I kiss his forehead then clean him up like I always do. I've found that he loves the simple gesture, and I like doing something that means so much to him.

After I'm done, he catches my wrist and pulls me close again. "I love you," he whispers, pressing a kiss to my palm.

"I love you more."

He gives me a little smile and shakes his head. "It's not fucking possible."

I relent because I know I'm right. I love him more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone else. We've both healed a lot on our own; now it's time for us to start healing together.