Chapter 20

Eden

I sit at my home office desk and run through the checklist for this week's events. It's been a long and busy season so I'm looking forward to a little break and with only a few winter events lined up so far, it looks like I'm going to get that break.

The fact I have a separate office on the side of my cottage is a Godsend. It means I can separate my work life from my home life, but still have a good balance and be right next door to my house. It can be challenging at times working for myself, but the rewards are well worth it. I can more or less pick my own hours, and choose the clients I want to work with as well.

It made sense turning the space at my home into an office rather than renting a place in town. This way I don't have any costly overheads and I can come and go as I please.

My assistant, Jodie is amazing and is always there on the day of the event, and the days leading up to it. She's my right hand girl and double checks everything. She was over here late last night as we were prepping for Saturday and getting the last finishing touches arranged for the community hall. The ceremony will be held at the old homestead on the edge of town, then the reception will follow at the hall. It's less than sixty guests which I think is an ideal number to have.

I'm also looking forward to getting together with Gayle and Georgia soon to discuss more of next year's plans for the barn venue. I already have some brides looking for a location to get married, so it's exciting I will be able to offer their beautiful barn. I also have existing weddings booked in which I will go ahead as planned. We have to discuss if we will block out the dates on the Bassett's website, so we're not double booked, or let Jodie take the lead if we get another inquiry for the same dates. Meaning, we'd cater for two events at the same time.

It's a big step, but I'm sure I can work out the dynamics of how things will work as we get up and rolling.

Winter is coming at a good time for me to iron all these things out.

Granted, not everyone who books through Bloom will want the ‘The Stoney Creek Barn' as their venue, but I think it's certainly something unique for the area.

I'm excited to see it all finished. Autumn is on board for the photo shoot, and I can't wait to see how it all comes up on the website.

She called me last night to check in after we texted back and forth all week since the incident on Saturday night. All jokes aside with my tipsy escapade, she is worried about me after the Kirk situation. I know Carrie is too. In fact, all the girls there on Saturday night were lovely and sweet. Each and every one of them has my back. Georgia-Blue has been really lovely checking in on me every day. We've always had a good relationship, and I love her to bits.

I've assured everyone I'm fine, but I do feel an ache of disappointment inside me from how everything turned out with Kirk. It was all shaping up so nicely to the point we were about to get more intimate and take a vacation together. He'd met my daughter!

How could I have not seen it?

I just don't understand why he would do something like that, but maybe that's the kind of guy he always was. He was just good at covering it up.

He knew I wasn't the type of person to jump in with both feet, and I had reservations about jumping into bed with him. He had constantly assured me it was fine since we'd only known each other a few months. I guess he really couldn't wait a little longer.

Jerk.

It has made me question myself deep down, but why should I have to change my beliefs? I want so much more than just a good time. I want a connection with a man before all else.

The fact he lied so blatantly has taken a hit to my confidence, even if I'm acting on the outside like everything is fine.

It hurts. A lot.

Then there's Brooklyn. And I have to say he's been more than attentive.

I'm not forgetting that kiss either. I wanted it, that's for sure. But it was a crazy and impulsive thing, spur of the moment. It has only happened once before when we tried to reconcile years and years ago, nothing since.

So I can only put it down to the fact that it was familiar territory for me — somewhere I feel safe because I know Brook would never hurt me the way Kirk has. But Brook and I tried before, and I shut off from those feelings long ago because we both needed to grow in life and expand our careers as well as raise our daughter.

There have been times I've wondered why we let it go, and if we could've tried harder. But I always come back to that simple thing; we were so young. He was my first and only boyfriend through school and into my twenties.

Brook was my everything, so a big part of me still feels like a failure that we couldn't make it work. It stirs up old things, thinking about it all even if we have always been on good terms.

There's always been that what if that hangs in the air. It's been there for years but I've always pushed it aside. I know Brook kissed me back but is he really ready to go there again?

I thought we'd both moved on. Okay, neither of us have ever been close to remarrying, but Brook is a man about town. He may only sleep with one woman at a time, but from what I know he's been fairly active over the years.

It never bothered me before because we were done and I was happy to still have him as a friend, just like we always said. But the thought has been irking me, even more so since our kiss. And I'm getting jealous at the thought of him and someone else now.

He was so sweet to me on Saturday. And the way he was so attentive and didn't make me feel like an idiot the next day, was so him. When we went horseback riding on Sunday, I felt more at home than I've felt anywhere in years. Seeing our daughter ride ahead on Sailor, and us all sitting on the large picnic blanket having our sandwiches and some muffins sharing some family banter, it truly was a beautiful afternoon.

Panic kinda hits me in the chest that I've been a fool all this time.

Is the one great love I knew I had back then still Brook?

He might joke around and be Mr. Happy-go-lucky most of the time, but how does he feel under the surface? Another pang hits me because I don't know what to do if things really do resurface. I'm scared of what happens next. We've protected our friendship well over the years, I would never want to lose that.

I sigh as I shut down my computer for the day. I send a text to Jodie to let her know we're all on track for tomorrow. We'll meet at lunchtime down at the community hall and start organizing the table set up. The flowers are being dropped off early Saturday morning to the venue and the church, so Jodie will be at one location and I'll be at the other. We'll then meet up for the ceremony.

Once everything's done and I'm feeling satisfied that we're on track, I walk back over into the house where Blake is watching TV with Noodle cuddled up next to her.

"Are you hungry, honey? I can make a snack before you go to your grandparents?"

"I'm good, Mom."

"You're all ready for your Nan and Pop to pick you up?"

"Yeah, they're gonna take me to the pizza place on Main Street. Their veggie delight is amazing."

"Oh, you love it there. That will be nice." I smile.

She hesitates for a moment. "Are you and Dad getting back together?"

The words hit me straight away, but it still takes a moment to fully sink in. I feel the instant rise of heat to my cheeks,

"Why would you think that, honey?" I try to keep my voice level, but my heart rate quickly kicks up.

Blake shrugs. "I just wondered since you've been seeing each other more lately than normal. And that thing about you not getting divorced properly."

"Daddy has just been helping me with a few things."

She knows that I broke up with Kirk and we won't be seeing him again, but of course I didn't give her any of the awful details. Just that sometimes people aren't who they say they are. Maybe this is why she's curious about me and her dad.

"Do you still love Dad?" she asks.

The question almost bowls me over. I try not to act like I've just been winded, especially because it tugs at my heart strings and I feel my chest constrict.

"I'll always love your dad, Blakey." I'm doing my best to not get choked up and keep my voice as normal as I possibly can, but tears have already sprung to my eyes. "And you know why?"

She shakes her head.

"Because he gave me you." I walk over and reach my arms out, pulling her into a hug.

Blake smiles up at me. "Thanks Mom, that's really cool. It was nice that you came horse riding with us. I think Dad liked it too."

"Oh, really. Could you tell?"

"Yeah, he never lets anyone ride Misty. She's a bit precious, but she really likes you."

"Well it was fun. And Misty is beautiful. So are all the animals. Do you know how proud I am of you helping your daddy on the farm? And growing your own produce! It's amazing."

"It's so cool, Mom. The best part is going out there with my basket and picking all the stuff we can make to eat."

She brings home plenty of vegetables and herb cuttings all the time. She was proudly showing off her tomatoes over the summer. It's a wonderful thing that Brook has gotten her involved in the growing process. It's something she really seems to love.

"Maybe you could help me in the spring redo the herb garden here and show me how to get started?"

She beams. "I'd love that."

"I'm going to start prepping dinner. Do you think Dad will like a pasta bake and some of your potatoes sautéed in a pan?"

"I think he will love it!"

"Well, it's settled then."

"Save some leftovers for me tomorrow!" Blake hollers as I move into the kitchen to start my prep. It's only five o'clock so I have time to get things ready.

"I will," I call back.

I just hope that Brook is going to like it. There's a lot to get through tonight and the last thing I need is a disaster in the kitchen. He always did like my cooking all those years ago so I don't see how it can go too wrong now.

Blake leaves at six with my parents. I wave them off and step back inside to run a bath since I have a little bit of extra time on my hands. I have everything prepped, and will put the pasta bake in the oven half an hour before Brook arrives and make the potatoes while it's cooking.

Noodle passes out in her bed, so I take a bit of time for myself to relax and prepare for seeing him again and going over some of the hard subjects tonight.

I know it has to be done. I also know I need some time after just breaking up with Kirk.

It's only been a little over a week, and now that I'm thinking about it, I need to block the asshole.

When I soak into the suds, I sigh with relief. It's my way of relaxing; being in my beautifully renovated bathroom, with silver penny round tiles and white subways up the wall. The bath is a cast-iron copper tub. It's a beautiful space to relax in, especially when I light some candles.

I close my eyes and enjoy the stillness, thinking about what could transpire tonight with Brook and the main things we need to get to the bottom off. I guess our divorce is on top of the list. What a mess it all is.

I sigh into the dim lit bathroom. His blue eyes flash before me, and that rogue smile that always has the ability to make me smile too.

Brooklyn Bassett is still a stud. There's no denying it. I've always enjoyed his physique, and he's kept it up over the years. He's even more strapping now than he was back then.

I don't even mean to slide my hand down into the water to the apex of my thighs, but I can't help it when I need some friction. Maybe this is what I need to let all the frustration out.

No one even has to know except me, myself and I.

I can play for a little while and then grab my bullet to finish off the job. I mean, I'm not going to picture my husband while I'm doing it.

At least, I'll try not to.

I lean forward and reach over to the bathroom drawer and slide my hand in, feeling around for the little rubber contraption which I hope I charged up.

I lay back down as I work my hand over my sweet spot, my fingers roving deeper to my throbbing entrance. There's a hunger in my body that I want to feed… and I know there's only one thing that can truly do it.

Thinking about Brook like this still gets me wet. I press my mouth together, trying to get him out of my head is impossible. I can't… or maybe I can. I tell myself it's just this once.

A couple of good orgasms should knock this silly notion of me and him right out of the water. I flick the little gadget on and slide it under the bubbles, finding my throbbing bud in seconds. I flinch a little when it touches me because I feel so damned sensitive.

I immediately move my hips against the small rubber end, which looks like nothing, but holds so much promise as it buzzes against me, the water sloshing around to my rhythm.

I watch my breasts jiggle in motion as I move. God, how he loved to play with those. He'd hold them both at once, squeeze them together and suck from nipple to nipple. His tongue and lips working together and then pulling gently with his teeth while he plunged his big cock into me.

I groan as the vibrations become more intense and so do my visualizations.

This thing can get me off within minutes, so I should be seeing the stars soon and then I can lay all this to rest. I press it a little more firmly and hold my free hand up to my breast, tugging on my nipple, imagining it's him. He knew exactly what I liked and how to do it just right. And when his succulent cock was inside me, I couldn't get enough of him, ever.

It's a combination of the hum of the bullet with the vibrations, the water sloshing, my breasts bouncing, as well as my vivid memories of me and Brook. They all ricochet together as I feel my release about to spiral. I hold on as best I can.

A second later I cry out as my orgasm takes over, pulsing out from my core and taking my entire body and every cell fiber with it. It's so intense it's almost too much.

I ride it out, enjoying every sensation as I apply a tiny bit more pressure until I'm riding a second, third and fourth back-to-back. They're always one after the other with this little thing. My eyes fling open when I'm done, just at the same time my cell starts ringing.

"Shit," I mutter, still in a daze. My whole body feels so good and so relaxed, like I could just curl up and go to sleep. I stand and reach over towards the counter, but I can't reach it from the bath, so I hoist myself up and swing my leg over the edge. Only I lose my footing as I'm halfway out and I let out a squeal as I slide and topple out, landing awkwardly on my backside with an umph, hitting the tiles on the left side of my body with a whack. It knocks the air out of me as I lay on the floor in shock. I try to move but a pain shoots up the side of my leg and my hip. I take a few deep breaths and try to think of how I'm going to get out of this if I'm stuck on the floor and can't reach my cell.

Oh no. Oh God no.