22. Ella

22

ELLA

T he warmth of Colt’s giant hand slides up my body as his lips descend on my neck, kissing and nipping at my skin in a way that drives me crazy.

My body burns up as my need for more surges through me.

“Colt,” I moan when he palms my breast and squeezes with just the right pressure.

A soft giggle hits my ears and I frown.

That wasn’t Colt. That was?—

My eyes fly open, and I find Letty sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling at me.

“Having a nice dream?” she asks with a smirk.

Ripping my eyes from her, I look down at Kyan in her arms munching on a carrot stick, but still, it’s not enough to stem the wave of embarrassment that rushes through me.

“Oh my god,” I mutter, hiding my red-hot face with my hands.

“El.” She giggles again, wrapping her fingers around my wrist and trying to pull them away. “You’ve nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ve seen you do way worse than have a sex dream,” she points out, reminding me of some of our wilder days at MKU.

“I know but we’re supposed to be like adults and shit now. Sensible.”

“Fuck that. Sensible is boring. Now, get your horny little ass up. We’ve got plans that will hopefully result in you seeing some more action.”

“What have you done?” I ask, pushing myself up so I’m resting against the headboard.

“Me?” she asks innocently as Kyan starts babbling adorably in her arms. “I haven’t done anything. But we are picking Peyton up in an hour, so unless you want to go wearing Colt’s jersey and nothing else, I suggest you get dressed.”

With a wink, she gets up and walks to the door.

“Did you speak to everyone you needed to?”

“My mom, yeah,” I confess. And my head is still spinning from that conversation. My stomach knots, knowing that I still need to call my boss back.

Assuming she is still my boss and she hasn’t fired my ass. It wouldn’t be a bad thing. I pretty much despise my job. Even more so since turning up here and getting a glimpse of the old me who never would have allowed anyone to convince her to take a job that involved hiding in the house and hardly ever talking to anyone.

It’s just another reminder of what a weak, pathetic woman Chad turned me into.

Letty gives me a sympathetic look before she closes the door.

With a sigh, I grab my cell. There are another two missed calls from my boss. I guess I’d better get this over with.

Hitting the screen to redial, I lift my cell to my ear and take a deep breath.

What’s the worst that could happen?

“ D o you still have a job?” Letty asks the second I emerge.

“Uh...”

I narrow my eyes at her in accusation. She just shrugs and gathers everything she needs into her arms.

“Grab Ky for me,” she demands as if she didn’t just silently confess to listening to my conversation earlier.

“Just about,” I mutter, tucking my hands under his little arms and swinging him from the floor. My body aches as I do so, taunting me with the events from the night before.

Do I hope that Letty was right earlier about me getting more action? Hell yes. Do I think my body can cope? No, probably not.

“Do you really care? You hate your job.”

“I need the money.”

“El,” she sighs.

“Don’t,” I snap. “Just…don’t. I’m not some charity case who needs support just because my fiancé was a douchecanoe of epic proportions. I’ll figure this out. Somehow,” I add, the confidence in my voice waning.

She takes off, leaving me little choice but to follow her out to the car.

“One, you’re not a charity case. You’re my best friend, El. Nothing I ever do for you is charity. It’s because I love you and want the best for you. Two, yes, he was, and you’re better off without him. And three, yes, you will figure it out. But you don’t have to do it alone. We’re here for you. All of us. Whatever you need.”

Tears burn my eyes as she takes Kyan from my arms and begins strapping him into his car seat.

I take off, needing to hide my reaction from her. But I don’t make a second step before Letty’s hand wraps around my upper arm, twisting me back to face her.

“We’ve got you, Ella,” she repeats, her eyes glistening just like mine. “Family, remember?”

I nod, desperately trying to keep my sob in.

“Family,” I choke out, wrapping my arms around her when she pulls me in for a hug.

“Come on, before Peyton thinks we’ve gone without her.”

“Gone where exactly?”

She laughs. “Just sit back, relax, and let us take care of everything.”

I do as she says and rest my head back, watching as Seattle rolls past outside the window and Kyan babbles away in the back seat.

A smile tugs at my lips. For the first time in a very long time, I actually am relaxed. I’m not worried about what’ll happen or what demands Chad will make when he gets home. I’m not concerned about money—although I probably should be—and I’m not scared about my friends’ opinions about my fucked-up life because, as I should have known, they’re fucking awesome.

Stupid anxiety. I should have trusted our friendship, our connection. Because they’re not just friends. Letty is right. They’re my family. And they’re everything I need right now.

“About freaking time,” Peyton says, climbing into the back. “Hey, little man. You’re looking handsome today.”

“Just like his daddy,” Letty adds.

“Nah, they’re at the gym. They’re all sweaty and gross,” Peyton teases.

“Gross, yes. So gross,” Letty agrees.

“I know, right? Yuck.”

I glance at both of them, knowing exactly what I’ll find. Faraway looks as they think about their men.

“You two are a nightmare,” I tease.

“Oh, because you aren’t thinking about Colt’s body right now.” Letty laughs.

“All those muscles covered in a glittering sheen of sweat,” Peyton adds, her voice all dream-like.

All the air rushes out of my lungs as I picture it.

“Yeah, see? You’re not better than us, Miss Myers, so please stop trying to take the high road.”

“Do you know how many times they did it last night?” Letty announces happily.

“Let, your child is right here,” I point out.

“He’s one. Pretty sure he has no clue what we’re talking about right now.”

“Fine. In that case, it wasn’t just last night,” I inform Peyton.

“Oh my god,” she squeals like an excited little kid. “Was it everything you remembered?”

“And some. I didn’t think it was possible. But he was better.”

“It’s probably all the practice he’s had.”

“Pey, the fuck?” Letty barks.

“She’s not wrong.” I laugh, trying to force down any jealousy that wants to bubble up.

“As long as he locks it down and only focuses on El now, then we’re all good, right?”

“Right,” Letty agrees.

“You make it sound like we’re a done deal. We hooked up once after years of not seeing each other,” I say, desperately trying to remain cool-headed about this.

He said so many things both last night and this morning that could lead me to believe he’s changed, that his intentions are different from all the times before. But I can’t allow myself to be blinded by that. It was post-sex talk. His thoughts had been zapped by oxytocin. There was no way he was fully aware of what he was saying.

“You’ve always been it for him, El,” Peyton says, making my heart beat a little faster. “He’s just always been too big a pussy to see it.”

Silence falls around the car, and I take a moment to just think.

“My life just imploded,” I say absently. “I don’t have any intention of walking away from that disaster and straight into something potentially serious with Colt. It’s not happening.”

They don’t answer for a few seconds, but eventually, Letty caves.

“But it’s Colt. You’ve wanted this forever.”

Yeah, I have. But just like most dreams, they’re unreachable, unrealistic, and better left to your imagination.

“ N o, absolutely not. There is no way that I’m?—”

“Trying it on,” Peyton finishes for me, grabbing my size from the rack and throwing it over my arm with the other dresses they’ve both picked for me.

Anything I’ve suggested has been ignored. All the nice, pretty, safe dresses for the curvier me in favor of the sexier, smaller, more risqué options I’d have chosen back in college. But no amount of argument is changing their minds.

“In you go,” Letty says, pressing her hand between my shoulder blades and pushing me into the dressing room.

Peyton hangs all the dresses up on the hook and warns, “We want to see every single one on you,” before pulling the curtain closed.

“The black one we just picked up. One hundred percent,” Letty says.

“Yeah, or the blue one. That one’s killer, and bonus, one of the Saint’s colors. Colt would get a kick out of that.”

“True. I guess we’re about to find out.” Letty muses.

“El, you naked yet?” Peyton calls, making me sigh.

I stare at the dresses, my stomach churning at the thought of trying to peel them up my body.

The progress on my body confidence that Colton’s scorching touch and burning stare helped make last night has been waning with every step I’ve taken in the mall.

Being with my girls is great in so many ways, but I look at them probably still wearing the same size as we did back in college and I can’t help feeling down on myself.

These dresses…they’re stunning. But they’re “old me” dresses.

Colton will love them , a little voice pipes up in the depths of my brain.

Try them on for him, if not for you.

Squaring my shoulders, I shed my maxi skirt and loose tank top and stand there in just my underwear.

It isn’t sexy by any stretch of the word. Nothing I wear these days is. What’s the point when no matter how hard you try, you’re told you’re not good enough? Not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not sexy enough?

Ugh.

Pulling the least terrifying dress from the hanger, I tug it up my body, and without looking in the mirror, I fling the curtain back.

My heart is in my throat as they both study me.

“Nope. Not the one. Get back in there,” Peyton demands.

Doing as I’m told, I strip it off without even looking and grab the next.

The following three all get the same response. But with each one I try on, I get braver and spend a little longer looking in the mirror.

By the time I slide on the black one that Peyton loves, I’m feeling a little better.

These dresses all might be a fraction of the size of the clothes I wear now, but Peyton and Letty know what they’re doing. They all fit perfectly and suck me in in all the right places.

“Yes, girl. Now that is what I’m talking about,” Peyton announces so loudly the shop assistant comes running in like someone lit her ass on fire.

“I still think the blue,” Letty muses. “This one is hot, though. It’ll definitely get Colt’s dick hard.”

“Well, duh. Ella is wearing it. If we sent a photo right now, I guarantee he’d be hard just looking at it.”

“Really?” I mutter.

“Really. Now, blue one, please,” Letty demands.

Ducking back into the room, I do as I’m told. But this time when it’s on, I stop and look at myself.

I don’t realize I react until Letty calls, “Was that a good or a bad gasp?”

A smile curls at my lips as I shake my head.

Reaching out, I pull the curtain back and step forward.

“Ella,” they both breathe simultaneously. “That is worth every single cent of Colt’s money. You are going to knock him flat on his ass.”

“Wait, what? Colt’s money?”

Wicked smirks spread across their faces.

“Girl, I don’t know what you did to that man last night, but all I’m saying is, enjoy the benefits,” Peyton says.

“No. I can’t. I’m not?—”

“Do as you’re told, El, or we’ll tell Colton. You wouldn’t want him to punish you for misbehaving, would you?” Letty asks darkly.

I suck in a breath, biting down on my lip.

Would I?