12. Colton

12

COLTON

M y heart races as I stare at her profile, waiting for her answer.

When I walked away from her, it was with the hope that she’d be happy. That she’d embark on a life, find a man that she deserves.

But looking into her eyes tonight, I realize that it might have all been wishful thinking. And it makes me wonder if I made a massive mistake.

No , a little voice pipes up. You did the right thing. You’ll only poison her in your own fucked-up way. You’re nowhere near what she deserves either.

“No,” she finally whispers. “Nothing is like I thought it would be.”

“Ella,” I breathe, shifting a little closer, the need to feel the heat of her skin burning into mine too strong to ignore.

She shakes her head and wraps her arms around her ribs as if they’ll help keep her together. And when she speaks again, her voice is cracked with emotion.

“Everything was fucked before I even left Maddison County after graduation.”

Guilt rushes through me.

“I thought I was doing the right thing,” I whisper, hating that I could be even a small part of the reason for her sadness.

“It wasn’t you. I was fully on the same page when we ended things.”

“I know, but…was it really what you wanted?” I ask bravely.

She blows out a long, slow breath before finally turning her head toward me.

“I don’t think I knew what I wanted back then,” she confesses, searching my eyes like she used to, trying to dig up all my darkest secrets.

“And what about now?” I find myself asking.

“Now?” She laughs sadly. “Now it’s even worse than ever. I’m a mess. My life is a mess. Everything is just so fucked?—”

“You’re perfect,” I blurt, unable to listen to her talk about herself like that.

Her eyelids lower, cutting her off from me.

Unable to resist the urge to touch her any longer, I reach out and grab her hip, pulling her onto her side. There are only a couple of inches between us, and my body temperature picks up as I remember vividly how electric we used to be together.

More than a few years might have passed, but something tells me that nothing will have changed. I can already feel it crackling between us.

“Ella,” I breathe, my hand sliding to the dip of her waist, my grip on her tightening as my need only grows.

I haven’t felt this connection, this powerful desire for someone is in so fucking long. I’d started to think I was broken. That I’d maxed out on my sex quota during the past few years or something. Turns out that I might just have been bored with all the jersey chasers.

Could I be subconsciously searching for something more than a quick and dirty hookup?

No, that can’t be it.

I don’t want serious.

I don’t do serious.

I can’t do serious.

Her eyes flutter open, revealing her mesmerizing honey orbs that are hiding beneath, and my breath catches.

The dark shadows that I don’t ever remember seeing before are still there, but there’s something else as well.

Desire?

Fuck, I hope so, because I need her more than I need to breathe right now.

I lean forward, ready to throw caution to the wind and jump straight down memory lane, but my actions are halted when she speaks.

“My dad died.”

“Shit, El. I’m sorry.”

I shift closer, bringing my body just within touching distance to hers.

“It was…it was really hard. I was in a really bad place, and when I bumped into Chad again…” She shakes her head while red-hot fury lashes at my insides at just the mention of his name. And yeah, okay, there could be a little jealousy in there too.

That motherfucker has had her for years. Asked her to marry him, and then what? Fucked it up?

What a fucking idiot.

Just like you, a little voice says. You had her and let her go too.

“He gave me everything I thought I needed. I mean, he did at the beginning, but—” She slams her lips closed, cutting her words off.

“But?”

She shrugs. “Things changed. He isn’t the man I thought he was.”

I wait patiently for her to say more despite the inferno that’s raging inside me to get on a fucking plane and go and find this motherfucker.

“I’m sorry,” I finally force out when it becomes clear that she’s not willing to explain anything else.

“I’m not,” she states fiercely, giving me just a glimpse of the Ella I used to know and…really, really like.

“You deserve more than some asshole who doesn’t treat you right,” I say firmly. “You deserve one who can give you the world.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she agrees before making the move I’ve been too pussy to do so far.

Her lips brush mine in the sweetest, most hesitant kiss. It’s as if she’s second-guessing herself the moment we collide, and I hate it.

Ella was always so sure of herself. She knew exactly what she wanted, and she went after it no matter what.

What has that stupid motherfucker done to my wild, confident bombshell?

She begins to pull back, making me realize that I didn’t jump at the opportunity to return her kiss, and I panic.

“No,” I warn, tightening my grip on her waist and tugging her right into my body.

A gasp passes her lips, and I make the most of the opportunity.

A deep growl rumbles in my throat as I slide my tongue against hers and her taste explodes in my mouth.

Just as sweet as I remember.

No. Better.

Her returning kiss is hesitant to begin with. I love it as much as I hate it.

The fact she’s giving me this right now when her world is imploding means everything, but also, I want my fiery bombshell to take what she needs like she used to.

As I slide my hand up her body, she tenses in a way she never used to at my touch.

She pulls back just enough to break our kiss as I cup the back of her head.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it. You’re beautiful and incredible. Everything you used to be and more.”

I dive for her lips again before she has a chance to argue with me. My fingers twist in her soft blonde hair, and I angle her so that I can deepen the kiss even more, quickly losing myself in her.

Thankfully, she follows my order and meets me move for move.

My temperature soars as our kiss morphs from hesitant lovers reconnecting to the horny kids we used to be.

Our finesse seems to fly out the window as it turns wet and filthy, and it’s only made worse when I hook her thigh around my waist, allowing me to grind into her.

“Colton,” she gasps, breaking our kiss as I hit her just right.

“Fuck, I missed you, Bombshell,” I growl, diving for the soft, addicting skin beneath her ear.

“Oh god,” she gasps as I suck hard while rolling her onto her back.

Instantly, she wraps her legs around my waist, keeping my body locked against hers.

I pepper kisses down her neck until my lips hit the fabric of her jersey.

No, not her jersey.

My fucking jersey.

Sitting up, I trace my finger across my number printed across her front.

“You bring this with you, Bombshell?” I ask through my heaving breaths.

She stares up at me with her huge, desire-filled eyes, her chest rising and falling erratically with her own increased heart rate.

But much to my disappointment, she shakes her head.

“Letty got it for me.”

“Damn, you know how to hit where it hurts,” I tease. “Seeing you there wearing this...fuck. Hands down the best thing that’s happened to me in a while.”

I don’t give her a chance to respond. Instead, I drop back down and steal her lips once more.

The need to drag her pants off and take this further burns through me, but while the starlit sky might be all romantic and shit, what I said earlier was true. She deserves more. More than a moment of passion where random strangers could stumble past and watch.

Gritting my teeth, I will my body to calm down, to take it slow, to prove to her that I’m not just the playboy she used to know me as.

I can be a gentleman too, these days. Or at least I can try for Ella. Only for Ella.

“Colton,” she gasps, breaking our kiss. “We need—shit,” she curses when I roll my hips against her again.

“When was the last time you got off, Bombshell?” I ask, my voice rough with barely restrained desire.

If it’s possible, her cheeks glow brighter at my question.

“That long, huh?”

My previous need to go and hurt her douchebag of an ex burns through me once more. How dare he have a woman as incredible as Ella and not give her what she needs? She’s a fucking goddess, and clearly, he’s the stupidest motherfucker in the world.

“How about we end that dry spell right here, right now?”

Her eyes dart to our surroundings.

“Colt, we can’t.”

“Why the fuck not? It wouldn’t have stopped you before. Scared of being caught enjoying yourself?”

She stares at me, her need to argue right on the tip of her tongue, but for some reason, she bites it back.

“You want to be that girl again, don’t you?” I ask, going out on a limb based on what she’s said tonight. “You want to be reckless and take life by the balls.”

She doesn’t say anything; she just stares at me with heated eyes and swollen lips.

“Be wild with me, Bombshell. Pretend we’re carefree college kids with nothing and no one to worry about.” It’s a lie. I always had something to worry about. If it weren’t football and the future, then it was Mom and West. I just refused to let anyone else see what my life was really like. I covered it all up with partying and making it look like I was living my best life. I mean, I was. Everything—almost everything—was fucking great. It just wasn’t the whole picture.

“Oh god,” she moans when I roll my hips, letting her feel exactly what being with her still does to me.

I swear, I can’t remember the last time I was this fucking hard.

Just dry humping her out here, I’m at risk of coming in my pants like a kid. And that is not the kind of story I want in the press.

Saints’ star running back too desperate to get into his old hookup’s pants that he blew his load like an eighth grader.

Not the kind of headline or reputation.

“That’s it, baby,” I encourage through gritted teeth. “You’re always so mesmerizing when you come. I need to see it again.”

With one hand locked on her hip, I slide the other under her shirt and palm her breast.

“Colton,” she cries, her release surging forward.

And the second I tug the cup of her bra down and pinch her nipple, she shatters.

It. Is. Fucking. Beautiful.

I don’t stop teasing her until she’s come back to earth and opened her eyes.

The intensity that crackles between us when our eyes collide is powerful enough to steal my breath.

Releasing her, I climb to my feet before pulling her up with me.

“What are you?—”

“We need to get out of here before I do something I regret,” I confess, bundling up the blanket with little care and making a really shitty job of stuffing it back into the bag.

I don’t think anything of what I just said until I turn around and find tears in her eyes.

“Shit, what’s wrong? What did I do?”

“Nothing. You didn’t—” She shakes her head. “Just take me back. This was a mistake.”

She turns to walk toward the parking lot, and I panic.

“Wait,” I say, reaching for her wrist and tugging her back into my body. I study her, memorizing Ella the woman, noting all the changes in her.

Realization slams into me as I repeat my previous words in my head. Dipping low, I let my lips brush her ear, loving the way she shudders against me.

“What I’d regret would be fucking you out here and not taking my time to make you feel incredible.”

All the air rushes out of her lungs.

“You deserve more than a quick outside fuck in a park, Bombshell. You deserve to be worshipped all fucking night.”

After pressing a kiss to her cheek, I lace our fingers together and direct her back to my truck so I can do exactly what I’ve just promised.