8. Ryan

What the hell had I done? I stared down at the enormous glittering gem on my fourth finger, twisting it around and around. I imagined if I were ever going to get married, it would be to a man that understood a ring like this would never be something I could wear. I hoped he would know me better than that.

But this monstrosity was yet another reminder that I was in an impossible situation, and I had no choice but to keep moving forward. Once I signed my name on that dotted line, I saved the ranch. It’d lifted a weight off of my shoulders and replaced it with a boulder in my stomach.

I always imagined my wedding as a small affair with the man I loved. I didn’t care if it was fancy or at the courthouse. The most important thing in my mind had always been the groom, the man I was giving my heart to for life.

But here I was engaged to Yates, a man I didn’t even know. I didn’t even know simple things about him like his favorite food or what kind of music he liked. My sweaty palms were making it so easy to twist this ring around that I was worried it would fly off my finger. I planned on giving it back to Yates after our year was up. After I got a divorce.

Shivering, I looked down at my phone, which beeped for the thousandth time tonight. Quinn had been texting me relentlessly worried about how my date went, but I hadn’t messaged him back yet. I had no idea what to say. How did I even begin to explain what I agreed to do?

Looking around the small hotel room, it felt so impersonal. I missed home. Suddenly, the walls felt like they were closing in. The air was hot and stuffy despite the air conditioner blowing a constant stream of chilly air into the room. I jumped off the bed and started collecting my stuff, shoving it into the tote bag I brought along with me this morning when I made the drive to the bank.

Had that just been this morning? It felt like a lifetime ago. So much happened today. I was having a hard time processing it. I needed my best friend and home.

Pulling my phone out of my back pocket, I checked the time. Eleven. I didn’t feel tired. In fact, I was wired, jittery, and wide awake. I doubted I’d be getting any sleep at all tonight, long drive or not. Besides, home wasn’t that far, only maybe an hour’s drive. It would be worth making the drive to sleep in my own bed.

Ignoring all the texts from Quinn threatening to drive here tonight and hunt down Yates if I didn’t respond, I shot him a quick message letting him know I was on my way home. I would explain everything when I got there. I doubted that would make him feel much better, but at least he’d know I was alive.

Taking one last look around to make sure I hadn’t left anything behind, I left the room, pulling the door shut behind me with a satisfying click. I knew I was making the right choice to get the hell out of here and go home. Besides, maybe I’d run into a certain hot as sin rock star staying next door. My lips tilted up at that thought, as unlikely as it was, and I made my way out to my car suddenly in more of a hurry to get home than I’d been a few minutes ago.

Pulling down the long driveway that led to our one-story ranch house, I slowed and rolled down my window, sticking my head out and turning off my headlights. While I didn’t plan on living on the ranch much longer, I could appreciate how incredible the night sky was out here. I always took it for granted until I went away to college in southern California. The stars were almost impossible to see through the city lights out there. But here, there wasn’t a street lamp for miles. There was nothing to impede on the inky sky full of sparkling stars and faint galaxies. Anytime I found myself outside at night, I couldn’t help but tilt my head up to the sky and remind myself of how small my problems really were.

It was a reminder I sorely needed tonight. My phone buzzed in the cupholder and pulled me out of my fantasy. Instead of flying up to a faraway planet and leaving all my problems behind, I squinted my eyes at the bright screen. It hurt my eyes in the dark, and I stared at it, rolling my eyes at Quinn’s text threatening to come out here and drag me inside if I didn’t walk in the door in the next two minutes. He’d obviously been watching out the window for me to get home.

Flipping my headlights back on, I finished the drive. Finally, I stopped, stepped out of the car, and stretched my arms overhead. I glanced at the house next door, and all the lights were on. I wondered what Maddox might be up to tonight, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. Instead, I grabbed my bag out of the backseat and walked inside before Quinn made good on his threat.

Closing the screen door softly behind me, I turned, and Quinn stood against the wall in the hallway with his arms folded across his chest and a scowl on his face. He motioned to follow him into the quiet house back to his room, and I did, dropping my bag inside the door before closing it behind me.

Running my hand through my hair nervously, a few strands got caught in the ring I almost forgot I was wearing, and I yanked, crying out from the pain. Quinn’s eyes narrowed in on the ring. “What the fuck is that?” he growled. “And do I need to kill someone? I’ve been going out of my goddamn mind, Ryan, worrying about what was happening to you tonight because you couldn’t be bothered to send a simple fucking text.”

Quinn started pacing the room and sort of reminded me of a bull before a rodeo. I could practically see the smoke pouring out of his ears as I fell back onto his bed and relaxed into the familiar comfort of his mattress. I was surrounded by comfy blankets and the sandalwood and soap Quinn smell that always comforted me. I’d spent more nights than I could count sleeping in here.

“First of all, you don’t need to kill anyone. I don’t think,” I started.

Quinn bunched his fists. “You don’t think?”

“No, I know. You don’t have to kill anyone. But can you please come lay down with me? I need my calm and comforting best friend right now if I’m going to tell you everything, not this angry version of him,” I requested, patting the mattress next to me.

He sighed and deflated a little before sinking into the bed next to me and grabbing my hand, lacing our fingers together. “Sorry, Ry. But I was a fucking wreck all night worried about you when you didn’t text back. You never date, so I was shocked you even wanted to, especially when the rock star showed back up,” he gritted out, and I could see he was trying to rein in his temper.

Squeezing his hand, I rolled onto my side so I was facing him and looking into his dark hazel eyes. “I’m sorry, too, Quinny. I didn’t mean to worry you, and when you hear what happened to me tonight, hopefully you’ll understand why I didn’t want to tell you in text and why I wanted to drive home so we could talk face to face.”

His eyes softened, and he reached out and brushed the hair out of my face, waiting for me to talk. “You know this morning how I went to the bank, and Yates denied my request for a loan?”

Quinn raised an eyebrow. “Wait, his name is Yates ?”

Giggling, I nodded my head. “I know. How very Ivy League of his parents, right? But it really fits him. You’ll see.”

“What do you mean, I’ll see? Why would I ever meet this douche?”

“I’m getting to that part.”

Quinn motioned for me to continue. “So, he picked me up for dinner, and the ride to the restaurant was so awkward. Have I ever even been on a date before?” I wondered aloud.

“Uh, not that I remember. But I wasn’t with you in college,” Quinn answered, furrowing his eyebrows until a little crease appeared between them.

“Yeah, well, now I know why. We don’t know anything about each other, and I had no idea what to talk about, and it seemed like he didn’t mind the silence. We got to the restaurant, and it was fine, the place was the nicest restaurant I’d ever been to. I even had wine.”

Laughing, Quinn poked me in the stomach. “Look who went to the big city and got all fancy,” he drawled with an exaggerated version of his slight twang.

Smacking his chest, I glared at him. “I’ve always been fancy. Anyway, the food was surprisingly good considering I didn’t know what it was, but that wasn’t the interesting part. That came after we were done eating.”

“I have a feeling I’m not going to like this part,” Quinn sounded wary.

“Yeah, I don’t like this part, so I don’t think you will either. But try to hold off on all your questions until the end, okay?”

He nodded once, and I continued. “It turns out that Yates had quite the proposal for me. He knew all about our problems with the ranch, and he came to dinner prepared. His family owns the bank, and he’s in line to take over the family business. But he wants to make his own way, so he needs access to his trust fund.”

“I don’t like where you’re going with this,” Quinn said, his voice low.

I kept going as if he hadn’t spoken because if I thought about it too much, I’d chicken out. “He made me an offer. He said if I did something for him, he’d buy the ranch and then sign the deed over to me. So, there would be no more mortgage, and we’d own the ranch outright. Then we could hire help, and we could be free Quinny.”

He pressed his lips into a tight, flat line but didn’t say anything for a long time. Finally, he spoke up. “Based on this,” he pulled my hand into his and jiggled the diamond on my finger. “I’m going to assume that it wasn’t something easy like being his fake date or something.”

“No, it wasn’t that simple,” I confirmed. “He said we had to get married, and he wanted to do things backward. He said he likes me and wants to get married first and then sort of date and see if we want to stay married. He came to the date with a contract ready and everything. I even had to sign an NDA, but I told him to exclude you because I refused to do it if I couldn’t tell you.”

Quinn sighed. “What the hell were you thinking, Ryan?”

I pulled my hand out of his and sat up. “What other choice did I have, Quinny? Please, if you have any other ideas, I’m all ears. His bank was my last hope.”

Raking his hand through his hair, he closed his eyes. “He took advantage of you. You know that, right? He saw you were desperate and knew he could get you to do whatever he wanted.”

My shoulders sagged, and suddenly I felt every minute of this day weighing down on me. I wanted to sink into the mattress and pass out. “I know. But I still didn’t feel like I had another option.”

“So, you’re going to marry a stranger and stay married to him forever?”

Shaking my head, I tucked my legs under my body. “I made him change the contract and write in that either one of us can get out of it after one year. He said that was the minimum, and I agreed. I don’t feel any kind of spark with Yates. I don’t see any world where we stay married after a year.”

“What about Maddox? He just came back. What if he wants to start coming around more?” Quinn asked, almost sounding a little sad.

I scoffed. “Remember how he treated me yesterday? Fat chance he wants anything to do with me. Even if he did, I can’t tell him that my engagement with Yates isn’t real, and neither can you. We could lose everything, and then all of this would have been for nothing.”

Quinn opened his eyes and looked at me before shaking his head. “You know I’ll always support you, Ry. And Yates better make a room up in what I’m assuming is his big-ass house because the second you leave this ranch, I’ll be right on your heels. You’re never getting rid of me, fake husband or not. He’ll just have to deal with it.”

I laid back down, burrowing into Quinn’s chest as he wrapped his arm around me. “I wouldn’t want it any other way, Quinny. Love you.”

“Love you, too, Lancelot.” I smiled at the familiar nickname. Quinn hadn’t called me Lancelot in years. He once told me that Lancelot was the bravest and strongest knight he could think of, so the name just fit me. After I’d gotten in a fight with a guy at a bar harassing Quinn for being gay, he’d given me the nickname, but he hadn’t used it in months.

I closed my eyes and slowly started to fall into sleep when Quinn’s quiet voice jolted me awake. “What are you going to tell your parents?”

Closing my eyes again, I tried to ignore the sudden racing of my heart. “That I’m getting married.”

“Shit, they’re going to freak out. Want to tell them over breakfast? I’ll bake,” he offered.

“You’re the best. Will you hold my hand, too?”

He chuckled. “Whatever you need.”

With his promise, I floated off into a dreamless sleep, dreading the morning and the half-truths I’d be forced to tell in the name of saving the ranch.

The smell of cinnamon sugar and butter danced through the air, and I smiled before I inhaled deeply and filled my lungs with the delicious aroma. Quinn must have been up for quite a while working on breakfast already, and I was glad he’d let me sleep in.

My body still felt heavy and tired from everything that happened yesterday, but I needed to drag myself out of bed and face my parents. The sooner I told them what was going on, the better. I hadn’t told Quinn last night that Yates wanted to get married in just a month. Quinn probably would’ve freaked out, and I couldn’t have handled that. He’d get that fun surprise this morning with my parents.

Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes and swung my legs over the edge of the bed before crossing the room to my bag and walking across the hall to my room. I quickly got dressed, brushed my teeth, and washed yesterday’s makeup off. No longer looking like a raccoon was an excellent first step on facing the day. Tossing on a sundress, I padded out to the kitchen.

“Breakfast smells amazing, Quinny,” I said, walking around to where he stood with an apron wrapped around his body. He held out a coffee cup filled with the perfect coffee-to-cream ratio, and I gratefully took it.

He grinned. “I wish I had more time to cook. Unfortunately, ranch work doesn’t leave a lot of kitchen time.”

“Maybe when all this is over, you’ll have a chance to go work in a restaurant,” I suggested. I wanted nothing more than for Quinn to chase his dreams as much as I wanted to go after mine.

“Maybe,” he mused before looking over my shoulder at my parents, who were shuffling into the room. They’d given up keeping rancher hours a couple of years ago, so Quinn and I were almost always up before them.

“Morning, Ry. Smells incredible, Quinny,” my mom said, grabbing a couple of mugs and pouring herself and my dad some coffee.

“Thanks, Shannon,” Quinn smiled, sliding his hand into an oven mitt before looking down at me. “Hey, Lancelot, think you can carry the bacon and eggs?”

Chuckling, I grabbed the platter on the counter piled high with breakfast meat and scrambled eggs. “Lead the way.”

I followed Quinn to the kitchen table where my parents sat, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous. My hands shook as I leaned over the table and placed the platter down with a thud. Quinn glanced at me out of the corner of his eye but schooled his expression into his typical calm facade. He slid out the chair next to him, and I plopped down into it, balancing right on the edge and keeping my back stiff and straight. I shook my leg with nervous energy.

My mom studied me carefully. “What’s going on with you this morning, sweetheart?”

I exhaled a shaky breath and nervously tucked my hair behind my ear. My mom’s eyes followed the movement, widening almost comically. “What is that?” she squeaked, pointing to my hand. Quinn grabbed it and pulled it under the table, squeezing my fingers.

“I’m engaged-”

My mom’s squeal made me wince. “Oh, my god! I knew it! Alex, didn’t I tell you? I knew they’d figure it out.” She jumped out of her seat and rushed around to me, wrapping her arms around Quinn and me.

“I’m so happy for you two. I knew it was only a matter of time. I’ve been telling your dad for years this would happen.”

I glanced helplessly at Quinn, who looked decidedly uncomfortable. My dad cleared his throat. “Shannon, let the kids breathe for Christ’s sake.”

My mom sniffled and finally loosened the death grip she had on us, and I took a deep breath. I had not seen that reaction coming, and by the look in Quinn’s face, I bet he felt the same way. Being gay wasn’t something you just grew out of, and I thought my parents understood that. There’d been a few times I caught Quinn looking at me with interest, his eyes dark. There were times where he got possessive whenever other guys showed interest when we’d go out together. But he was just a good friend. There’d never been anything there with Quinn, not when I wasn’t exactly his type.

Plus, as long as I’d been interested in boys, only one had ever held my heart.

Maddox.

“You guys, Quinn and I aren’t engaged. Sorry to disappoint,” I started.

“What do you mean? Who else could you possibly be engaged to?” my mom asked incredulously.

“I’m getting to that,” I said, glancing at Quinn to see the muscle in his jaw tense up and I rubbed my thumb across the back of his hand and watched him relax slightly.

“I’ve been seeing someone for a few months. His name is Yates, and we met on a dating app.” I thought I’d go with the most straightforward explanation I’d been able to think up. My parents were hopeless when it came to smartphones and apps.

“Where does he live?” my dad asked.

“He lives in Dallas. Yesterday, we had a date, and he proposed at dinner,” I explained.

“Why have we never met him, Ryan? I’ve got to say I’m shocked by this. I figured any guy you ended up with we’d know well by the time you got married,” my mom said, her eyes a little misty still.

“He works in finance for his family’s business, and he doesn’t get a lot of time off. That’s why we met online, he didn’t have time to date traditionally. He proposed because we’re tired of being apart.” I cringed at that last part. I wasn’t sure if my parents were buying it.

My dad sighed. “I’m not sure how to feel right now, kiddo. But I do know that if you decided he’s the one for you, your mom and I wouldn’t stand in your way.”

“Thanks, dad.” I sniffed as my eyes stung with unshed tears. Now it was Quinn’s turn to comfort me as he squeezed my hand again. I tried to tell them as much of the truth as I possibly could. Still, I hadn’t come up with a good reason to explain Yates buying the ranch without it sounding like a business transaction, so I decided that’d be a problem for a different day.

“So,” my mom said, a small smile on her face. “When’s the big day?”

My stomach dropped as I glanced at Quinn out of the corner of my eye. “Um, in a month,” I mumbled.

“What was that sweetheart?” my mom asked.

“In a month,” I repeated, and Quinn inhaled sharply. I knew we weren’t done talking about this by a long shot, but I’d never felt so shitty about anything in my entire life. I had to keep reminding myself I was doing all this for a good cause. But if that were true, why did it feel so bad?