23. Ryan

My body shook so hard my teeth clacked together. Maddox tightened his grip on me, his eyes filled with concern. I sniffled because my nose was starting to run, but I couldn’t really find it in me to care. The guilt I felt for going this far with the agreement I made with Yates was weighing down on me so heavily, if Maddox loosened his grip, I thought I might collapse.

Tears streamed down my face, and I was sure I looked like a complete disaster.

He brushed the stray hair that had fallen across my face away. “What did you need to tell me?” he asked softly. My stomach twisted at the thought of confessing my secret to Maddox. If he left me here by myself right now, I didn’t know if I could handle it.

Now that I was getting ready to spill all the sordid details of my arrangement with Yates, nondisclosure agreement be damned, I was picking a side. I was choosing Maddox. I hoped once he heard what I did, he’d still want me.

“Before I tell you, please believe me when I say I thought I was out of options. I thought it didn’t matter. It was before you came back, and I finally started to give up on my last bits of hope that you’d ever return home.”

He flinched lightly but quickly recovered, his thumb brushing back and forth across my upper back in a comforting motion. He still had his arms wrapped around me, holding me up. “It’s okay, Freckles. Just tell me.”

The nerves made his voice tremble. He was on edge, waiting for me to explain, and I couldn’t blame him. Taking one last deep breath, I began. “A little over a month ago, I intercepted a notice from the bank that our ranch was being foreclosed. It had progressed far enough that they set a date for the auction. My parents never told me.”

He sucked in a sharp breath, his grip around me tightening a little, but he didn’t say anything. So I kept going. “Quinn and I talked it over, and I decided I needed to do something. The hopelessness and resignation in my dad’s eyes killed me.”

Maddox nodded. “That land is his entire life. I know.” I loved that I didn’t have to explain it to him. He just knew how important this was to my parents.

Instead of keeping the distance between us so that I could look into his eyes, I rested my cheek against his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat instead, letting it calm me. “The next day, I went to the bank and applied for a loan. That was where I met Yates. He was the one I talked to about everything, and he denied my application. But then he asked me to dinner.”

Maddox’s muscles tensed, and his heartbeat quickened, but he stayed silent. “That was the day you were a jerk and refused the cookies I’d baked you. Do you remember?”

He sagged a little against me. “I remember,” he muttered.

“Well, when he asked, I was so mad and so hurt about everything I agreed to go. You have to understand I never dated. Ever. You’ve really been it for me since I was ten years old, even before I really knew what a crush was. No one else ever caught my attention.” I gripped the handful of his jacket I was clutching in my fist a little tighter, wanting him even closer for this next part even if it was impossible. In this position, I was pretty sure we were already as close as we could get.

“I thought maybe he was interested in dating me, and he seemed like a nice guy and was decently good looking, so I took a chance. Except at that dinner, he made me a proposal I wasn’t expecting. Marry him so he could get access to his trust fund, and he’d buy the ranch and sign the deed over to me so we’d never owe anyone for it again. He made me decide that night, so I didn’t really have a chance to think it over, but I made him put into the contract that it’d only be for a year.” The air wooshed out of me now that I got the worst parts out. The weight still hadn’t lifted off me yet because I didn’t know how Maddox was going to react.

He stepped back, loosening his hold on me and leaving me feeling cold and terrified he was going to walk away again. Maybe all of this was too much for him. But his words surprised me. “I could’ve helped you,” he whispered, his eyes so full of compassion and love, tears started to stream down my face again at the massive relief washing over me.

Shaking my head, I pulled him closer again. “No. I couldn’t ask that of you. And even if I could have, you weren’t exactly happy to see me. How would that have gone over? ‘Hey, Maddox. Haven’t seen you in twelve years but do you mind lending me hundreds of thousands of dollars?’”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I see your point. But why didn’t you tell me these past few weeks what the deal was? Or even last night?”

Hanging my head, I stared at the lacy fabric pooling around my bare feet. “Yates made me sign a nondisclosure agreement. If I told anyone, not only would he not save the ranch, but he could sue me for more than a million dollars. I was too afraid he’d somehow find out.”

Lifting my eyes, I watched as Maddox’s jaw clenched, and his eyes blazed with barely-contained fury. I hoped it wasn’t because of me. He blinked and looked down at me, the rage still in his eyes, but now it swirled with something else I couldn’t quite place. “Why did you finally decide to tell me now?”

Shrugging, I bit my lip before answering. “I guess now I trust you. I trust that you’re not going to leave again, that you mean it when you say you’re here for me.”

He ran his palm along the side of my neck and gripped me with his fingers, this thumb rubbing soothingly along my jaw. “Good,” he whispered just before he lowered his head and covered my lips with his.

A noise outside broke the spell, and I startled away from him, but he pushed me behind his body protectively as the door swung open, and Quinn rushed in, followed by an irritated-looking Connor. Quinn took in Maddox standing in front of me as I peeked around his broad shoulders, finally looking over my hot mess of a face. “You told him,” he stated.

“You knew?” Maddox asked Quinn accusingly. “And you didn’t bother telling me?”

Quinn crossed his arms defiantly. “Dude, I like you, but my loyalty will always be to Ryan first. I did everything I could to encourage you without actually breaking her trust.”

“Thanks, Quinny,” I murmured from where I still stood behind Maddox.

“Hate to break whatever this is up, but we need to get the fuck out of here. Now,” Connor insisted from where he stood looking out of the window towards the ceremony.

“I’ve got your bag and your phone,” Quinn announced, slinging the duffle bag I’d grabbed from my sister’s this morning over his shoulder.

Looking down at my bare feet, I spun around frantically searching for the wedges I planned to wear today. “Where are my shoes?”

“No time to find them. Go! Now!” Connor boomed, and we all reacted instantly, Maddox grabbing my hand and pulling me with him. My bare feet slapped against the polished marble floor as we followed Connor toward the front of the estate. He flung the door open, and we all piled out onto the front steps. There was a valet attendant, but we didn’t have time to wait for them to find the car.

Connor strode confidently but quickly up to him, demanded the keys, and asked him to point us in the direction where Maddox’s truck was parked.

Connor and Quinn took off, but I wasn’t wearing shoes, and the idea of running through whatever kind of terrain was on the ground out here barefoot sucked. Maddox felt my hesitation and didn’t miss a beat, bending down and lifting me bridal-style into his arms, the irony of which wasn’t lost on me as the small train of my lacy, white wedding dress trailed behind us.

“Hold on, Freckles. We’re getting the hell out of here and never coming back,” he promised, tightening his grip on me as he hurried to catch up to Quinn and Connor. By the time we got to them, they’d found the truck and unlocked it. Maddox slid me into the backseat and climbed up after to me. Quinn hopped in the passenger side, and Connor started the engine, backing out of the spot before he’d even buckled up.

As he turned toward the heavy iron gates that stood open at the front of the grounds, I looked back through the small rear window just as Yates and his cronies spilled out the front door, his glare visible even from this far away. Maddox reached up and turned my face with gentle fingers until our eyes locked. “No looking back. Now that I know the truth, everything’s going to change. I won’t let him do shit to you,” he vowed. “He’ll have to go through me first, and I promise you he doesn’t stand a chance in hell.”

Connor chuckled darkly from the front seat but didn’t say anything as we cruised down the two-lane highway. We moved in the opposite direction of home, though. “Where are we going?” I asked, watching another field fly by.

“Private airstrip,” Connor grunted. I was starting to figure out he didn’t talk much, but that was fine with me.

Maddox gripped my hand in his. “I’m not taking you back to either of our places right now. Yates is going to be on the warpath after you just embarrassed him. We need to get out of town for a couple of days, but I’ll bring you back once things settle down, okay?”

Letting out a shuddering breath, I nodded once. I was glad he was thinking more clearly than me. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Where are we going? And don’t we have to buy tickets or something? What if there aren’t four seats together?” I started to ramble, the emotions of everything that happened today too much for me to process.

Maddox laughed softly before pressing a warm kiss to the inside of my wrist. “I thought we’d go to LA if that’s okay with you. And don’t worry about the seats or the tickets. I’ve got it covered.” The smug smirk on his face like he knew something I didn’t made me want to smack him, but I didn’t have the energy, so I let it go. I’d wait and see where we ended up. I trusted he knew what he was doing, and honestly, it was such a relief to let someone else handle things for a little while.

I rested my head against Maddox’s strong shoulder and closed my eyes, relishing the feel of his sturdy body underneath my head. I must’ve dozed off because I startled awake when the truck suddenly came to a stop. Blinking, I winced as I sat up and rotated my neck, the stiff muscles aching. Maddox smiled softly down at me and gripped the back of my neck in his large palm, squeezing gently, the rough calluses on his fingertips somehow soothing against my skin.

“I’ll give you a massage when we’re in the air,” he promised before letting me go and opening the door. He climbed out, and I squealed when he grabbed my ankle and pulled, yanking me toward him with a mischievous grin.

“You’re barefoot, remember?” he justified, lifting me into his arms like I weighed nothing and stalking toward a big building with huge doors that were wide open. I raised my hand to shield my eyes from the sun and squinted, trying to see where we were going.

I gasped when I saw the jet parked inside. “Is that what we’re taking to LA?”

Maddox smirked again. “Told you I had it covered,” he laughed.

“Yes, yes, you did.” I gripped his neck a little tighter as he carried me up the steps and set me down at the top so I could walk through the small open door.

The woman just inside wore a friendly, welcoming smile, and my eyes dropped to the tag pinned to her chest before returning her grin. “Hey, Hilda. I’m Ryan. Nice to meet you,” I greeted, sticking my hand out for her to shake.

She took it, shaking briefly before grabbing my bag from Quinn, who’d followed us up the steps and into the cabin. Quinn whistled. “Damn, buddy. I could get used to this,” he praised before flopping backward across a couple of seats.

Maddox laughed as Connor brushed past us, grabbing a seat across from Quinn. I followed him down the aisle with Maddox behind me, so close I could feel his warmth against my back. Instead of focusing on that, I sank into the soft leather seat and buckled up. Maddox leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’m going to go find out how long until we take off.” He looked up and nodded at someone behind us. “Hilda’s going to get you guys whatever you want to drink. I’ll be right back.”

I watched as he retreated up the aisle toward the cockpit, his muscles bunching and flexing underneath his black suit as he walked. The fact he was in all black just now registered in my brain. My heart hurt for what I put him through, but the fact that he showed up anyway meant everything.

Quinn looked across the table that separated us and raised his eyebrow before lifting the glass Hilda had just placed in his hand in a mock toast. I couldn’t help but laugh. I’d have to face reality at some point, the consequences of what I agreed to a month ago, and, more importantly, what I did today, were hanging out there. But they could wait. Right now, I needed to block it out for a couple of days and just process everything.

My family would understand. Everybody else? I really didn’t give a crap.

“Quinny, can you pass me my phone, please?” I asked, leaning forward to look for my bag.

“No can do, Lancelot. But don’t worry. I texted Justice while we were in the car and let her know the wedding was off, and you wouldn’t be reachable for a couple of days,” he spelled out, sipping his drink.

I leaned back against the seat, reveling in the cool leather on my heated skin. “Thanks. Was she freaking out?”

He shrugged. “No clue. I turned your phone off right after I made sure the message went through. I love you, but I’m not dealing with that drama right now.”

I laughed softly, and before I knew what was happening, it turned into a full belly laugh complete with tears streaming down my face. Quinn joined me, and we were both gasping for air. Connor silently watched with an amused tilt to his lips.

I was still trying to catch my breath when Maddox took the seat next to me, fastening his seat belt. “Less than ten minutes,” he announced to all of us. He reached for my hand, entwining our fingers and kissing the back before settling in.

I’d only flown a couple of times in my life, but I loved it. The feeling of the engines revving up and shooting us into the sky was like nothing else I’d experienced, and I couldn’t wait. My stomach fluttered as I lifted the window covering and stared out at the wing, watching the flaps tilt up and down, no doubt part of the pre-flight check.

Hilda slamming the door closed and locking it brought my attention back to the cabin, and across from me, Connor watched, his eyes filled with amusement. “I take it you’re not a nervous flier,” he remarked, crossing his ankles and settling into his seat. He didn’t look at all impressed by his surroundings, so I guessed this wasn’t his first time flying on this jet.

“Not at all. I haven’t done it much, but I love it. It’s such a rush. Well, taking off and landing. The rest I could take or leave,” I clarified.

Maddox leaned over, his warm breath tickling my ear as he whispered, “I could think of a few ways we could make the time pass faster.”

A shiver ran down my spine at his words. My whole body clenched, the idea of passing the time locked in some tiny bathroom with Maddox not as unappealing as I might’ve thought a couple of days ago. I knew what it felt like having him inside of me, and that was a feeling I wanted to repeat over and over again.

But Quinn’s hard stare was like a bucket of cold water over my heated body, and Maddox must have sensed the shift because he sat back in his seat, shooting Quinn a death glare that made me giggle. As we taxied down the runway, I watched out the window, but none of us really spoke.

Once we were in the air, I wanted to take my mind off the unproductive thoughts threatening to overrun my brain. “Let’s do some shots,” I suggested, unbuckling my seatbelt and sliding past Maddox. He smacked my ass, and I yelped, a devious smile spread across his face. If that was how he wanted to play, I could keep up.

I decided right then and there I’d spend the entire flight to LA teasing Maddox but not giving in. I wondered how turned on I could get him. Well, I was about to find out. I caught Hilda’s attention and asked for a bottle of whiskey and four glasses, thanking her and moving back to my seat. But instead of sitting in mine, I lowered myself onto Maddox’s lap, shifting around more than necessary before finally settling in.

His hands gripped my hips, fingers digging deliciously into my skin, and I smiled inwardly knowing I was getting to him. I could already feel him thickening underneath me, and my heartbeat quickened at the dangerous game I was playing. Pouring the first shots, I passed them around. “Wait,” I ordered as they all lifted their glasses to their lips.

Holding out my own, I made sure to arch my back just enough to make Maddox groan and shift underneath me. I gnawed on my cheek to keep from laughing. “To broken engagements and new beginnings,” I toasted, and the guys all clinked glasses with me before swallowing their liquor.

I coughed as the whiskey burned down my throat and warmed my stomach from the inside. “Okay,” Connor said, slamming his glass back on the table so hard I was surprised it didn’t shatter under his giant, meaty hand. “What’s your deal?” he asked me, folding his arms over his chest.

“My deal?” I asked, lifting my eyebrow while I refilled his glass.

“Yeah, what the hell was that back there? Not that I’m not all for taking guys like that down a few notches, but Jesus Christ.” I let his words hang in the air for a couple seconds while I decided what to say. I mean, I’d broken the NDA already, right? Might as well go all in.

Sucking in a deep breath, I let the words pour out of me. “Long story short, I was desperate and went to the bank Yates’s family owns for help. He turned me down but asked me to dinner and gave me a proposal, a fake marriage that would benefit both of us. I didn’t have any other options, so I accepted.”

“Which I, for the record, thought was the worst fucking idea I’d ever heard, and I hadn’t even met the fucker yet,” Quinn chimed in.

“You haven’t exactly kept that a secret, Quinny,” I grumbled, leaning back against Maddox’s chest and writhing a little on top of him just to make him squirm. He bent forward and kissed the spot where my shoulder and neck met, and I bit back a moan. He pulled my hips back, so my ass pressed even harder into his erection, but then I sat up and turned my attention back to Connor, ignoring the low growl from behind me.

“Now my turn to ask a question,” I started, downing the refill I’d just poured myself. “How do you and Maddox know each other? I know you’re not in the band.”

Connor chuckled. “No, I couldn’t play an instrument or sing if my life depended on it.”

“Fuck, no. You do not want to hear this guy sing. It’ll make your ears bleed,” Maddox teased.

Ignoring Maddox’s jab, he continued. “Zen hired me as his bodyguard a few years ago. I’d just gotten out of the Marines and was trying to figure out how the fuck I was going to adjust to civilian life. A buddy of mine knew someone who heard Zen was looking after he dealt with a couple of stalker situations. So, I reached out. He hired me, and the rest is history.”

“So, if you’re Zen’s bodyguard, why are you with Maddox so much?” I questioned, leaning back against Maddox’s chest and reaching my hand up to play with his hair, running my fingers through the silky strands.

“Because he likes to stir shit up and cause trouble. Someone’s got to make sure his ass stays out of trouble.” Connor slid his suit jacket off and tossed it over the arm of his chair, unfastening his cufflinks and rolling his sleeves up to his elbows.

“ Liked to stir shit up,” Maddox corrected, wrapping an arm around my waist and stroking my hip with his fingers. My nipples hardened under his touch as we drove each other crazy. I hoped the flight wasn’t much longer. I didn’t know how long I could hold out. There was a tingle that started in my core and spread throughout my body, a neediness that I hadn’t experienced before.

“And I’m going to need details,” Quinn insisted, reclining his seat back and settling in for the story he assumed he’d be getting.

Maddox shot Connor a warning glare that I didn’t see but felt in the way he tensed around me. Rolling my eyes, I reached back and patted his cheek a little bit condescendingly. “Don’t worry, Romeo. I’m well aware of your whorish ways. I’ve got eyes and access to the internet, remember?”

He grabbed my hand and kissed it before putting my fingers back into his hair. “No one wants to hear about my antics. And that’s all in the past now anyway,” Maddox assured me.

“Fuck, of course you decide to reconnect and then get boring. I’m gonna need a wingman when we get to LA since Ryan’s obviously out,” Quinn declared, eyeing Connor, who held out his glass for Quinn to tap with his own.

“I’ve got you, Q. Tonight, we’ll hit my favorite club.” Connor yawned, reclining his seat next to Quinn, and suddenly I felt tired, too.

Closing my eyes as the conversation died down, I let myself be lulled by the rise and fall of Maddox’s chest and the gentle rocking of the airplane. Before I knew it, I was completely out.