14. Ryan

I watched as Yates's taillights disappeared in a cloud of dust as he drove down my driveway back toward the road. "The asshole couldn't even be bothered to come in and say hi?" Quinn questioned from where he must've walked up behind me. I spun around and flung myself into my best friend's arms, relishing the comfort he always provided me.

His chuckle rumbled in his chest under my cheek, and I smiled my first real smile all day. For the past four years, Quinn had been my home, my person. I was so thankful for his friendship. "I know what you need, Lancelot. Go get changed. We're going out," he stated, leaving no room for argument.

I let him go, stepping back and smiling mischievously. "What, you mean we don't have to go hand-feed five hundred plus cattle?"

Quinn's laughter had me laughing, too. "Hey, it worked, didn't it?"

"It did," I agreed. "Thank god. It was absolutely miserable."

"None of that. We're forgetting about the future in-laws and drinking and dancing the night away. So get your cute butt in something hot, and let's hit the bar before it gets crowded."

Twirling on my heel, I went inside the house to change into my slinkiest dress, already feeling the day fall off of my shoulders. I was determined to have a good time tonight with Quinn.

An hour later, freshly showered, hair perfectly wavy, I pulled on a skin-tight black dress that highlighted what curves I did have. Swiping smokey eye makeup across my lids, I took one last look in the mirror before I stepped out of my room and knocked on Quinn's door. He swung the door open and looked me over. "Good thing you've got me to run interference between you and every guy who's going to hit on you tonight," he commented with a crooked grin.

I rolled my eyes. "And I'll be there to fend off all the ladies that will inevitably be trying to get in your pants tonight, too, like always," I promised.

"Glad we understand each other," he laughed before closing his door. I followed him out to his truck and climbed inside. His truck was ridiculously tall. I wasn't short, but I almost needed a ladder to climb into the damn thing.

The drive to the bar was short, but Quinn and I managed to sing along to almost a full song on the radio before we pulled up into the gravel parking lot. Fancy, this place was not. But it was the only place in town with a dance floor, loud music, and alcohol where we could all go to let loose. Since it was Sunday night, I hoped it wouldn't be too busy, but there didn't ever seem to be an off night at On Tap.

Quinn held open the door for me, and I stepped inside, noticing the faint smell of old cigarettes from back when smoking inside was allowed. Glancing around, I noticed there were already several booths filled with people. The faded black and white tile dance floor was empty, but it was still early. Quinn set his hand on my back and guided us forward to the dark wood-paneled bar, and we both hopped up onto the high back tufted green vinyl barstools. This place was quirky and dark and everything you'd want out of a dive bar, and I loved it.

They served cheap liquor and only local Texas beers on tap. "Hey, you two," Garett, the bartender, greeted us. As long as I'd been of legal drinking age, Garett had been serving beers up at On Tap. "Your usual?"

Quinn glanced over at me, and I knew that look, and I nodded once. He grinned and turned back to Garett. "Me and my girl here are going to try something new. How about two Electric Jellyfish?"

Garett reached to the cooler behind him and pulled out two beers, popping off the tops and sliding them across the bar toward Quinn and I. "Thanks, G," Quinn said.

I raised my eyebrow at my best friend. "Electric Jellyfish?"

He shrugged with a laugh. "I heard they were delicious, and I've wanted to try for a while. Last time I was here, I asked Garett if he could get them." Quinn had always been into trying every local craft beer he could get his hands on, no matter how weird. I drew the line at anything sour. Beer should not be sour.

I held out the neck of my amber bottle toward Quinn, and he clinked his against it. We both sipped, and I rolled the bitter liquid around on my tongue before swallowing. "Citrusy," I observed.

Quinn took another small sip, considering. "And I think mango?"

I shrugged and laughed, taking a huge sip and not bothering to really taste it. At least it was refreshing. "So, how was your night, Quinny? Do anything fun?"

"If by fun, you mean binge Netflix and chill with myself, then yep." He lifted his beer to his mouth and gulped it down.

"Sounds like we both deserve a night out, then," I said, jumping off the stool and leaving my empty bottle on the bar. Crossing the bar to the jukebox, I made my pick and then grabbed Quinn and dragged him out onto the floor with me. I wasn't shy, and I didn't care that we were the only ones out here. Usually, it took just one person to get started, and everyone else would pile out onto the floor. I didn't mind being the first person if it meant I got to shake my hips to the beat.

I wanted to start with something more chill, so I picked Paradise by Bazzi to start us off, and Quinn's hands rested on my waist as we swayed together. I closed my eyes and let the music flow through my body, losing myself in the beat. Halfway through the song, the hair on the back of my neck stood up, and a shiver ran down my spine. I only had that reaction to one person in the entire world.

Maddox.

My eyes snapped open and locked with his dark gaze across the bar. His eyes were narrowed on Quinn and me, and he suddenly broke our staredown and strode across the room and stopped at the jukebox. He turned his back to me, and the next song that came on made my heart beat faster. Mine by Bazzi started playing as I danced with Quinn but listened to every lyric.

"I think someone's trying to send both of us a message," Quinn chuckled.

I shook my head. "He doesn't feel like that, Quinny. It's probably because he thought we liked Bazzi."

"Uh, yeah, no. That's not it. Have you seen the way he's looking at you? He looks like he wants to murder me right here with all these witnesses for daring to touch what's his."

I chanced another glance at Maddox, and it was then I noticed he wasn't alone. He'd come in with three other guys, one of which was talking to him, but his eyes were locked on me. I tore my eyes off of him and looked up at Quinn. "Maybe we should go say hi?"

He looked over my head back at the guys before smirking. "Lead the way. I wouldn't mind getting to know the guy with all the tattoos on a more personal level if you know what I mean."

Rolling my eyes, I giggled. "I always know what you mean, Quinny."

We wove through the much more crowded dance floor and stepped up to the bar. I stood so close to Maddox, I could feel the heat of his body even through all of our clothes. He turned to face me, brushing a stray strand of hair out of my face before a cocky grin crossed his face. "Ryan," he said my name in a low growl that I was surprised I could hear over the music. I felt it all the way down to my toes, the way his voice alone could set off every nerve ending in my entire body.

"Maddox," I countered, hoping I didn't sound breathless.

We stared at each other, completely lost to the heat building between us until Quinn cleared his throat behind me and broke the spell. Maddox shot a glare at Quinn before a tall guy with huge muscles and a short, military-style haircut behind Maddox turned around and smiled at me. There was something about his gray eyes that were both sad and captivating, and I wondered how he and Maddox knew each other.

"Mad, aren't you going to introduce us?" the guy asked as the other two guys stepped closer to Quinn and me.

Maddox sighed. "Ryan, this is Connor, Zen, and True. You probably know of Zen and True from the band, and Connor is Zen's bodyguard since he's too much of a pussy to bother with learning how to protect himself."

"Fuck off, dude," Zen said, and I felt Quinn perk up behind me.

"Nice to meet you guys," I said and turned to Quinn behind me. "This is Quinn, my best friend, and partner in crime." I noticed Maddox's eyebrows furrow a little before he erased the expression from his face. He did the same thing when I went to see him at his house, and I wondered how often he actually let people see what he was feeling.

"It's about time we meet the famous Ryan we've heard so much about," True beamed, and I liked him right away. His smile was genuine and kind.

"Oh? Have you heard a lot about me?" I asked True, but my eyes found Maddox's, and he looked away.

"Not really, this fucker doesn't tell us shit," Zen answered for True, and they all laughed as if it were some inside joke.

"Oh, well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to get back on the dance floor," I said, signaling to Garett for another beer. He slid it across the bar, and I sipped the refreshing liquid, letting it slide down my throat and cool me off.

"Want to dance?" The hulking guy who must have been Connor held out his hand, and I grinned, sliding my palm against his much larger one and following him back onto the worn dance floor. A more upbeat song came on, and we moved to the music. After a couple of songs, Connor leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Have you seen Maddox's face? I've never seen him more pissed off." He sounded delighted as he let out a deep chuckle.

"Do you like to piss him off?" I asked, chancing a look at the murderous expression on Maddox's face.

"It's not that hard to do, but this is next-level. I wanted to see how he'd react if I asked you to dance, but don't worry. You're safe with me. I'd never touch someone he was interested in," Connor assured me, and I was more confused than ever. Why did everyone think he was interested in me? I kissed him once when I was a kid and he ran away and never looked back. That wasn't how you acted when you liked someone.

I just nodded because I didn't know what to say to that, and I didn't really like talking to Connor about Maddox even if they were friends. I stepped out of his arms. "I'm going to get some air," I explained before crossing the room and stepping outside. The sun had set, and the stars were out. The air outside was more humid, but somehow it was easier to breathe.

It had been a long day, and after a few beers, my thoughts were swirling. I was confused about Maddox, confused about what to do about Yates, and tired. I walked around the bar's side, away from the people coming and going in the parking lot. I rounded the corner of the building, leaning against the wood paneling that had long since faded in the harsh sun.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, and trying to calm my racing thoughts. I felt him before I even opened my eyes, his hard body pressing up against mine. My eyes snapped open, and Maddox was standing in front of me, his hard chest pressed against mine, his eyes dark and filled with lust. He rested his hand on my waist and pulled me closer into his body. His scent wrapped around me, woodsy and masculine and clean, and I breathed him in.

His face was inches from mine. "Other men don't get to touch you," he growled, and I laughed.

"You don't get to say that. You left, remember?" I countered, pushing against his hard chest to try and put some distance between us, but he didn't budge.

"Biggest mistake of my fucking life. I'd take it back if I could, but I can't. But fuck, Ryan. I can't stand watching anyone else's hands on you. When other men look at you, I want to rip their fucking eyes out of their heads and crush them under my boot. Why didn't you tell me you were getting married?" he asked, hurt and anger swirling in his dark eyes.

I dropped my gaze down to the ground as blood pounded in my ears. Being this close to him made it hard to think clearly. With one of his fingers, he lifted my chin until I was looking into his eyes. "Why, Ryan?"

"Because it wasn't the right time," I answered, not knowing what else to say. I wanted to jump into his arms and confess everything. I wanted to tell him he was the only man I'd ever loved, that I saved myself and waited for him for years. That there would never be anyone else for me but him. But I couldn't. My parents' future depended on it, and I wouldn't let them down, even if it killed me.

"You can't marry someone else, Ryan. You know it's always been you and me," he whispered, his lips almost touching mine. We were so close we were breathing each other in, and I closed my eyes. I lifted up onto my toes at the same time he lowered his head, and then we were kissing with an explosion of years of hurt and want, regret and need. Our mouths moved together in the kind of kiss that's life-changing, world-tilting, and hot as hell. He kissed me like he knew he owned my soul, and like he wanted to know every inch of my body. He pressed me into the rough wall behind us, one hand on my hip and the other tangled in my hair.

This was the kiss I'd waited more than half my life for, and my toes curled as I melted against his muscular body.

Our tongues danced together, his taste familiar and comforting. Having him close snapped into place something I'd been missing since the first time we kissed, and warmth exploded in every corner of my body as I felt complete . My fingers sunk into his hair, and I pulled him even closer. He pressed his hips against my stomach, showing me just how much he wanted me. Moaning, I pushed myself against him, needing more. I'd been waiting my entire life for this kiss, and I never wanted it to end. But instead of getting closer, Maddox growled and tore himself off of me. Both of us were breathing heavily, and his hair was disheveled from my fingers running through it.

He blew out a breath and ran his hand down his face. "I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry," he said, and my heart sank. "You're engaged, and I won't be the other man." He turned, and I watched him walk away even more confused than I was before.