11. Ryan

The next morning, I woke up to cold sheets in the bed next to me. I had to wonder if I imagined the whole Maddox-drunkenly-crawling through-my-window-at-one a.m. situation. Was I so desperate for him to reciprocate my feelings that I made the whole thing up? I stood from my bed, stretching my arms overhead as I considered everything that happened last night.

Glancing back, I noticed a small scrap of paper on the side of the bed he slept on. All it said was one word: Thanks. -M . I blew out a breath as my heart rate picked up, and a slow smile spread across my face. It had been real.

Maddox did care about me, enough that he put us both through hell to try and make sure I lived a happy life. But what had he done to himself in the process? My smile quickly evaporated as I thought about his stint a few years ago in rehab I saw in the headlines, the constant string of girls hanging off of him in the news. He seemed so broken last night, and my heart ached for him, for what could have been.

But what should I do with his late-night confession? The information burned a hole in my brain, begging me to do something with it, but I had no idea what. I always hoped the day would come where Maddox would come back to me and tell me he wanted me like I wanted him. That he’d been waiting just as long and he made a terrible mistake when he left.

My stomach sank when I remembered why I fell asleep with hot tears streaming down my cheeks last night. Yates. I agreed to marry him, signed a contract, and now the ranch would be safe. No one would ever be able to take it away again, and I couldn’t walk away from that no matter what.

My good mood instantly evaporated. I had a strong feeling that Maddox wouldn’t wait around a whole year while I was married to another man I didn’t even know and could never love. My heart had always belonged to someone else.

Why couldn’t Maddox have come to me two days earlier? The ranch may still have been in danger of foreclosure, but I wouldn’t be engaged to Yates with a wedding on the horizon. The soft click of my bedroom door opening startled me out of my thoughts, and Quinn poked his head into my room.

He smiled at me, but it quickly fell off of his face as he took in my expression. Stepping into my room, he closed the door softly behind him, and then as he stepped closer to me, he faltered, stopping and sniffing the air. Confusion swam in his eyes as he looked me up and down. “Why do I smell cologne in here?”

I winced a little before patting the mattress next to me. “Come sit.”

Quinn sank down next to me but leaned back so he could watch my face. “Spill,” he demanded.

“Promise not to freak out?” I asked.

“More than when you came home and told me you were engaged to some rando you’d just met?” he countered, his eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, more than that.” I was twisting my fingers together, and Quinn reached out and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together.

“I probably shouldn’t, but I promise. I reserve the right to punch someone if I need to, though.” Quinn scooted back on the bed until he leaned against my headboard, dragging me back with him where I sat across from him cross-legged.

“Last night, Maddox came by,” I began.

Quinn inhaled sharply. “What could that asshole possibly have to say to you?”

“He was drunk, and he wanted to apologize.” I gnawed on my lower lip because I knew Quinn wouldn’t react well to the next part.

“For which part? The part where he broke your heart at fourteen? Or the part where he acted like you never existed for the past twelve years? Or maybe the part where he was a complete tool to you the other day?” he seethed.

I shrugged. “For all of it.”

That seemed to shut Quinn up, and I watched as he visibly deflated. “Did he at least give you an explanation?”

I nodded. “He said he did it to protect me, but that he shouldn’t have. He was afraid he’d turn out like his dad, and he didn’t want that for me. He said I was too good for him, that he didn’t deserve me.”

“He’s right about that. He doesn’t deserve you.” Quinn’s hazel eyes locked with mine, filled with a mixture of anger and concern. “Are you okay?”

Blowing out a breath, I bit my lip again while I considered his question. “At first, I was so angry about everything. But then, after he explained, he broke down on the floor and my heart hurt for him. His whole life has been tragic, and I doubt he’s ever felt really, truly loved in his entire life.” My eyes burned as tears threatened to spill down my cheeks. “When he confessed and apologized, and then I looked into his eyes, I could see every broken and damaged part of his soul. It calls to me. It always has.”

Quinn’s brows furrowed. “If you’re so connected to Maddox, what the fuck are you doing marrying this Yates douche?”

“Quinn!” I scolded, smacking him on the arm. “You don’t even know Yates. He seems like a good guy.”

He rolled his eyes. “What kind of a good guy has to trap some desperate woman into marrying him to access his money? This whole thing is not right, Ry.”

I let go of his hand, sliding back a few inches from him to put distance between us. He didn’t understand what an impossible situation I felt like I was in. “I don’t know what to tell you, Quinn. He seemed to genuinely need help and wanted to help me in return.”

He moved closer to me and pulled my hand into his again. “You know I’ve always got your back. I’ll always support you in whatever you do, and you’ll never get rid of me. But I think you’re making a colossal mistake marrying this guy. You don’t even want to live on the ranch. Why are you trying so hard to save it?”

Squeezing my eyes closed, I rolled my head on my neck a few times, trying to stretch out the tense muscles in my upper back. How could I make Quinn understand why I needed to do this? “This is my family home. This is where I grew up, where my sisters grew up, where my parents met and got married. Maybe this place isn’t my future, but to me, the past is just as important. My roots are here. My dad has never known another home, and I refuse to let him lose this one when there’s something I can do to fix it.”

Quinn’s eyes softened, and he rubbed his thumb soothingly on the back of my hand. “That’s a high price to pay to fix something that isn’t even your problem.”

“I know, okay? But it wasn’t my dad’s fault that the horse threw him off. He didn’t ask to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. I have to do this for them. My parents have given me so much, it’s my turn to give back to them.”

“And giving up on your goals to move home four years ago and take on running this place wasn’t enough giving back?” he countered.

Sighing, I laid flat on my back, staring up at the ceiling. “They gave me life, Quinn. Is there such a thing as enough when it comes to giving back to my parents?”

“Your sisters seem to think so. Your dad didn’t have to let shit get this bad, you know. He could’ve asked for help sooner. Hell, he could have listened to the ideas you’ve been trying to talk to him about for years , Ryan. Marrying someone isn’t just no big deal. It’s a goddamn life-altering choice you’re making. You don’t have to be a martyr or play hero here, sweetheart. This isn’t your mess to clean up.”

I knew Quinn would always support me no matter what I chose. Still, I doubted he’d ever understand why I felt like I needed to do this no matter how many times I tried to explain it to him. “Agree to disagree, Quinny.”

The rest of the week passed slowly. Whenever I was outside the house, I found my gaze drawn to the little house over the hill. I was distracted in my work, watching the guys next door come and go. I only knew Maddox and could always pick him out when he was outside, which wasn’t much, but I assumed the others were his friends or maybe the guys in the band. I wasn’t a part of his life anymore, so I wasn’t that familiar with anyone he spent time with.

But I hadn’t seen him up close again since the night he came to my room. I didn’t know if I’d get the chance to talk to him again or if he’d leave without saying a word to me like he had last time. Maybe he regretted our conversation. The more time that passed without talking to him again, the more I convinced myself it’d all been one big mistake.

I reached up and wiped a drop of sweat from my forehead before it could roll down my face. It was Saturday morning, and Quinn and I were out finishing up our morning chores before I had to go inside and get showered and dressed. I was a ball of nerves. My stomach churned, and my heart beat faster than normal all morning. I barely slept last night either, despite Quinn climbing into my bed and trying to comfort me.

Today was the day Yates would meet my family. Today was also the day I would go to Dallas with him, meet up with my sisters, and start the wedding planning.

Today was the day shit got real with this wedding.

I wanted to throw up. Yates was supposed to be here after breakfast, but there wasn’t a chance in hell I’d be able to eat anything with my stomach in knots like it was.

Quinn rode up on Daisy, pulling her reins to stop next to me. He flashed me a crooked grin. “You ready to do this, bridezilla?”

I shot him a withering glare. “Bridezilla? Really?”

He shrugged and laughed. “If the name fits.”

“Stop being ridiculous,” I snapped. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Further proving my point about the name,” Quinn pointed out.

“I’m going in to shower,” I grumbled. “Are you coming?”

He tilted his hat at me and flashed me his bright grin. “I wouldn’t miss meeting my future sort of brother-in-law for anything. I’ll be in after I take care of Daisy here,” he said, patting his mare on the neck.

Sliding down off of my stallion, I handed him the reins. “Can you take care of Storm, too?”

Rolling his eyes, he kicked his heels into Daisy’s sides. “Fine, but you owe me.”

I turned on my heel, and with one last glance at the quiet house next door, made my way inside. It felt more like I was walking to my doom than to a shower and a meet and greet with my future husband and my parents.

Checking the clock on the stove, I realized I had less time than I thought before Yates was supposed to be here, so I took the fastest shower of all time. I threw on a cute sundress and my cutest cowboy boots, letting my hair hang in damp waves around my freckled face. I opted for light makeup, which was how I usually kept it. A swipe of mascara, a tiny bit of blush, and some lip gloss were my usual staples.

Just as I was taking one last look in the mirror, I heard a car pulling into the gravel driveway. A swarm of butterflies took off in my stomach, and my heart slammed against my chest. This was it. Once my parents met Yates, we’d be officially starting on our path to being married.

I looked down at the ridiculously huge diamond ring sitting on my dresser. I sighed heavily before sliding it onto my finger. There was no way I could do ranch work with this thing on my hand for the next year. Except I wouldn’t have to do ranch work now, would I? I’d be expected to be some fancy banker’s wife which was about the furthest thing from who I really was. What was I thinking jumping into this marriage? Could I hide who I really was for an entire year?

Pushing my unsettling thoughts to the side, I rushed out of my room to greet Yates at the door. He looked just as handsome as the last time I saw him, only this time he was marginally more casual.

He wore tapered khaki pants rolled up at the ankle, a blue plaid button-down with the top button undone, and a blue blazer over the top. His hair was messy in a sexy way, and I had to admit he was pretty hot. Unfortunately for both of us, after Maddox’s late-night apology, I wasn’t so sure my heart was into giving Yates the chance he deserved. I was glad he agreed to the time limit clause in our contract because, at this point, I was totally sure I’d be taking it.

Mostly.

Except the doubts crept in. If Maddox didn’t actually want to be with me, or couldn’t wait for this whole thing to be over, what would I do then? I couldn’t tell him it wasn’t real because I signed the non-disclosure agreement, which meant I had to act like I was in love with Yates when I barely knew him.

“Hey, babe,” he greeted me with a kiss to my cheek, and then he slung his arm around my waist and pulled me against his body. I tried not to stiffen up, but it took everything in me to relax my muscles one by one so that we wouldn’t look awkward.

“Hey yourself,” I smiled up at him and hoped it looked genuine. I was not a good actress.

Pulling the door shut behind him, I grabbed his hand and led him into the living room where my dad was reading the paper in his chair. My mom had gone into the kitchen to grab some lemonade and probably something baked, and just as we walked into the room, she popped in from the other side.

“Mom, Dad,” I began, moving back against Yates, who wrapped his arm back around my waist. “This is Yates, my fiance. Yates, this is my mom, Shannon, and my dad, Alexander.”

Yates moved into the room, greeting my dad with a handshake. “Nice to meet you, sir.” He walked over to my mom and held out his hand for her, but she grinned and wrapped him up in a hug, which he awkwardly returned.

“None of that handshake nonsense,” she said. “And call me Shannon.”

“Hey, now, I appreciate that handshake nonsense, as you like to call it,” my dad teased my mom. “It shows the boy is respectful.” He nodded at Yates and motioned for us to sit down on the couch. Sinking against the soft cushions, I exhaled. At least the first part of this fiasco was done with now, and it had gone better than I expected so far.

Quinn picked that moment to walk into the room, his hair still damp from the shower. He narrowed his eyes at Yates’s arm around me before plopping himself down on my other side. I glanced up at Yates. “This is my best friend, Quinn,” I introduced him. “And Quinn, this is Yates, my fiance.”

I could tell Quinn wanted to say something sarcastic, but I shot him a pleading look, and he clenched his jaw, no doubt trying to keep his snark inside. “Nice to meet you, man.”

Yates pulled me closer against him, and I frowned. What the hell was this? He couldn’t possibly be possessive of me at this point, could he? That would be ridiculous. “Good to meet you, too.” His tone was a little frosty, and it was the first time in my limited exposure to him I saw him be anything but charming and kind.

Quinn stiffened beside me, and I reached between us and grabbed his hand, squeezing it firmly. I needed him to hold in all the shit he wanted to say to Yates because it wouldn’t do me any favors. Quinn was incredibly protective of me, and I could tell by his body language that he already didn’t like Yates. If he opened his mouth, this would become a thousand times more difficult.

“Would you like some lemonade?” my mom offered Yates.

He pulled his eyes away from Quinn, and the frostiness disappeared and was replaced by an overly friendly smile that I was beginning to suspect was completely fake. “I’d love some, thank you, Shannon.”

My dad cleared his throat. “So, Yates. I’ve gotta say I was pretty surprised when my girl here came home last weekend and announced she was getting married. We never heard anything about you. Why the rush to get married?”

Yates pulled his arm from around me and started playing with his expensive watch nervously. “We don’t feel like we’re rushing. We’ve gotten to know each other, and the time feels right. I’m training to take over my family business, and before I do that, we thought it best to get settled in our new life.”

I had to admit, that sounded reasonable even to me, and I knew the truth of our situation. He’d obviously given this a lot of thought. “Yates is right, dad. We’re not rushing anything. We didn’t want to wait any longer. You and mom got married when you’d only known each other for six months. It’s been almost thirty years. It seemed to work out okay for you two.”

My dad sat back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. He was studying me, and I could tell he was considering my words. It wasn’t entirely important to me to get my parents’ blessing on this marriage. It wasn’t going to last, and I was going through with it no matter what they said, but it’d make the whole thing more comfortable if I didn’t have to deal with attitude and anger the whole time.

My mom walked over and sat on the arm of the chair my dad sat in, resting her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t give the kids a hard time, Alex. We have to let them live their lives,” she said softly, and then she smiled at me, and I knew she’d get him on board. My mom had always been loving and supportive, guiding my sisters and me to make our own decisions and helping us through when those decisions went wrong.

My dad grumbled a bit but took a sip of his lemonade and seemed like he let his line of questioning go. After several minutes of awkward silence mixed with small talk and Quinn’s stare burning into the side of my head, I decided I’d had enough.

“We should go,” I said, standing from the couch with Yates and Quinn both taking their places on either side of me. I could feel the tension radiating between the two of them, and I worried about what might happen if we didn’t leave. “I’ll be home tomorrow.”

I looked up at Quinn. He wore a scowl, and I could tell he was biting his cheek. I knew he wanted to come with me more than anything. He was looking at Yates like he wanted to punch him in the face, but he held his tongue, and I’d never been so grateful for anything in my life. He tore his glare off of my fiance and bent down, wrapping me in a tight hug. He whispered in my ear, “If you need anything at all, you call me and I’m there. I mean it, Lancelot. Call. Me.”

I nodded before tearing myself out of his embrace and forcing a smile onto my face. I shook off Quinn’s overprotectiveness and stepped around him toward the door. Yates followed me out, saying goodbye to my parents, and I grabbed my bag off the floor by the front door before walking outside into the Texas heat.

“Well, that wasn’t too bad,” Yates said, flashing me a crooked smile before moving in front of me to open the passenger door of his vintage blue convertible.

I chuckled, rolling my eyes. “Compared to what?”

Darkness crossed his face for a second that had my stomach in knots all over again. “Meeting my parents.” Once I was in the car, he shut the door, and I felt like my fate had been sealed.