2. Max

Max

2

The sun beats down hard on me and my teammates as coach holds us back to go over the same old bullshit of how we're good, but could be better.

What more does he want from us? From me?

I'm the best in the team, but it's still not good enough.

Everyone always wants more from me.

I've spent years pushing and punishing my body until they got what they wanted.

My hands are covered in the callouses to prove it.

I should be elated that it earnt me my scholarship, but the thought of more of the same routine every day fills me with dread.

Once Violet came into my life, I discovered there was more to life than baseball.

The moments when I don't have to think about what I'm doing wrong or if I'm working hard enough are the highlights of my day.

Each one has Violet front and center.

So it's safe to say that keeping our distance from her has been hell.

I try to focus on what coach says, but at the end of the day it's all pointless since high school is over.

I envy Mad for not having to even try when it comes to his education. He gets to work on what he loves, cars. Whereas I get to work on what everyone loves for me.

Baseball was always just a hobby. Something Mad and I played together when we were younger to pass the time, but now it's my entire being.

Once my dad realized I had a talent for it, that's what my life became. A never ending training schedule.

Somehow, I've become the town's star. A goddamn celebrity, because I know how to swing a bat.

Lately, it seems like every time I pick the bat up I lose another piece of myself and become what everyone else wants me to be.

I'd drop it in a second if I could, but if I do that I'll have nothing.

I hear the rumble of Mad's engine as he pulls up in the parking lot. He waves me over and I shake my head, telling him he'll have to wait.

Music starts blasting and I have to hide my smile as coach glares daggers at Mad's car. When he finally finishes up his speech I grab my bag and jog over to my brother.

"Your chariot, my liege," he gestures, as I hop into the passenger seat.

"What's got you so impatient?"

"Don't play dumb, you know what."

I rest my feet up on the dashboard and Mad smacks them off. "Those better be clean sneakers, I don't want my baby full of dirt and grass again."

"Oh, God forbid I get your rust bucket dirty."

He scowls at me and grabs a cloth from the glove compartment to wipe down where my feet were. "My baby is not a rust bucket, she's just a work in progress. Anyway, I want to get home so I can see Vi, before we have to go back to avoiding her."

Mealtimes have become one of the few times we actually get to spend anytime in her presence. It sucks, but it's the right thing to do.

We've both been pining after Violet since our father and her mom married. It was easy to ignore our feelings at first, we were just horny teenagers back then. I suppose now we're just horny adults. We managed to set all of those feelings aside and treated her as a sister, a friend. But ever since her birthday, things are starting to feel less off limits.

Violet is all I want. Her face is the last thing I see as I fall asleep and her body is the only thing that gets me off anymore.

"She's usually at her writing class now."

"No, I checked in on the way to get you and she was already heading home." He sounds like a stalker, but it doesn't phase me since I'm exactly the same way. Whenever we can, we follow her just to check in and make sure she's safe.

There's an awkward silence as we drive home and I know Mad can sense the thoughts in my mind as he grows more and more agitated. "Just spit it out already," he snaps.

"I think one of us should talk to her." His frown deepens, with each word that leaves my mouth.

"There's not going to be one of us when it comes to Violet, Max. She's both of ours or no ones. You know that."

I run a hand over my jaw as I try to think how to word my thoughts without getting Mad too worked up. "You know how innocent she is. Thanks to us she's barely even spoken to another guy. Do you really think she's going to agree to being both of her stepbrothers girlfriends if we ask? I was thinking you could be the one to take care of her. You can go with her to college, get a job there and make it work."

"No. Don't bother wasting another breath because it will always be a no. I'm not doing that without you. There's still time to make her ours before semester starts for you both. If we stop avoiding her then maybe we can make it work."

"We've gone over this so many times, Mad. You're the only one that has a chance with her, I can't turn down my scholarship. But you…all you have is the garage, you can easily go with her and find another job." I know I've hit a nerve when Mad's jaw tenses and he grinds his teeth rather than saying what's on his mind.

As he pulls onto our street, a beautiful lilting giggle catches our attention.

We'd know that sound anywhere.

My heart lodges itself into my throat as I see Violet up ahead, leaning inside some guys car and laughing.

Mad slams his foot down on the brake and is out of the car, storming over there, before I can get my seatbelt off.

Shit.

I fumble with the belt and quickly swing the door open, but he's grabbing her before I have a chance to get there.

"Get off me, Maddox!" Violet winces as he holds onto her upper arms and drags her towards the front gates of our house.

I should go intervene and make sure he doesn't do something stupid, but I need to know who she was talking to.

I vaguely recognise the two guys in the front seats from school.

"Your brother's a psycho," the brown haired guy in the passenger seat laughs.

"You better remember that whilst you tell me why you were talking to Violet." I stare him down and he swallows nervously, but doesn't back down.

"I was just saying hi," a small girl with pitch black hair leans forward from the back seat and smiles awkwardly.

"You know Violet?" I don't remember ever seeing this girl with her before.

"Yeah. I'm Chloe, we had a few classes together. That's Owen, my boyfriend," she motions to the drivers seat and he gives me a small nod, but doesn't say anything. "And James. We were just in—"

"You should really go check on your sister. Your brother looks like he's going to beat her ass," Owen snickers as he watches Mad get up in Violet's face as he pins her to the wall.

Oh, crap.

"Your brother needs a leash!" James calls out, but I ignore him and leave the three of them to it. Violet was probably talking to Chloe, rather than flirting with the guys and I need to tell Mad that before he actually loses his shit with her.

"I don't need to explain myself to you!" Violet snaps as I rush up behind Mad.

"If you don't want to do this nicely, I'm sure I can think of a few ways to make you talk."

I can see him battling with himself not to touch her more than he already is. He's standing with his hips to the side, most likely so she can't feel how hard he is, but it's clear as day if you look down. To be honest, I'm surprised he's showing any restraint.

I can't help feeling jealous that he gets to be that close to the body that fills my dreams and makes my cock achingly hard.

"No, you don't get to start demanding things when the pair of you dropped me like I meant nothing to you."

Realizing I'm behind him, Mad lets go of Violet's arms and steps back.

"Violet, we didn't just drop you. You see us everyday." As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know they're a lie.

"Family dinners and brief hellos in passing don't count. You know what I'm talking about! We used to spend every night together and now I barely see you."

"You want to sleep with us?" Mad taunts her and I shoot him a look, telling him to shut up.

Violet's cheeks flame bright red and she swallows quickly. "Don't make it sound dirty."

"You think that sounds dirty? Baby, spend a real night with me and I'll show you what dirty means."

Her lips slowly part and with a shaky breath she says, "You're disgusting."

And there it is.

The reason we can never let her know what we want. She thinks it's disgusting.

I grab Mad by the shoulder and yank him away. "Enough. Violet, ignore him."

"Let me back in. Both of you come to my room tonight, it can be like it used to be. We can hang out, watch a movie. I miss you."

"We'll be—" Mad starts, but I quickly cut him off before he accepts her invitation.

"No, you don't know what you're asking."

"Then explain it to me! Because this is getting infuriating."

How can I explain it without freaking her out or making her hate us?

We all stand in silence and I can see Violet's heart slowly breaking in front of my eyes.

She shakes her head and wipes her eyes as they start to fill with tears, then she pushes open the gate and rushes up to the house.

"We've fucked this up for good haven't we?" Mad asks as we both watch her until she's inside.

It's beyond fucked.

Everything we had with Violet has fallen apart because we love her too damn much.

I'm losing my mind staring at my ceiling. Yet I can't bring myself to move.

My shirt smells like her. Like Violet.

Right now, it's all I have of her and I don't want to lose that connection.

She should be in here with me. Curled up in bed with Mad and I, as we watch some crappy movie that we let her pick.

If we just took her offer, that's exactly where she'd be. Not locked away in her own room, doing God knows what.

She could be texting some guy, for all we know. She has every right to do that. Violet's her own person, as much as we'd like her to be ours we can't force her.

All she wants is to be friends,siblings.If she knew even a fraction of what we want from her, she'd hate us.

We nearly screwed things up on her birthday.

After that, Mad and I decided we couldn't be alone with her anymore, we can barely trust ourselves when we're both with her. If one of us had her alone in her bedroom, who knows what we'd do.

The urge to possess her, to make her ours, is becoming overpowering.

We'd never hurt her.

Never make her do anything she didn't want to do.

So why the fuck Mad thought it was a good idea to walk around half naked and use her damn shower, I have no idea.

Fuck. The way she looked so devastated when we told her we wouldn't spend her actual birthday with her broke my heart.

I'm starting to think her hate would be better than her absence.

Having enough of the empty spaces in my bed, I sit up and head to my closet. I've still not packed for college and moving day is looming over my head.

Up until now, it felt like if I left everything exactly where it's supposed to be then things wouldn't have to change. That I wouldn't be about to take the biggest step in my life by myself.

I've never spent a day away from Mad, so how I'm supposed to live in a completely different city for months without him, I haven't got a clue.

I grab the empty luggage that's been left untouched next to the closet door for weeks and toss it onto my bed. Without even looking at what I'm picking up, I grab some clean clothes from my dresser and pile them in, not caring for any order.

I used to like order, I craved it.

My hand grazes something soft on the top shelf in my closet and I pull out the small bear that I've not seen for what must be two years now.

My heart swells at its stupidly cute yellow face and from the memory it brings back. Violet sat in the bleachers, pressed up close to Mad, their hair shining in the sunlight like a beacon for me to find them.

When she spotted me, she sprung up, waving at me. No one had ever done that before. The game hadn't even started yet, there was no reason to cheer. I hadn't succeeded in anything other than showing up.

She was smiling and cheering for me.

Not the bat. Not the game.

Me.

Afterwards, she ran up to me, wrapping her arms tight around my waist and I had to stop myself from kissing her in front of the whole team.

She gave me the bear as a gift and I would have cherished it, if Mad hadn't gotten jealous and hid it.

I place it in my luggage, hiding it under a few shirts so he doesn't see it and get any other ideas.

Even though I can't have Violet, at least I can take the happy memories of her with me forever.