21. Sutton

21

SUTTON

The moment I saw him around the side of the church, bent over and gasping for breath, my heart stopped. Everything in that moment was so opposite of the strong, vital man I knew. Everything about it was wrong .

I’d moved on instinct, trying to shoulder some of the weight Cope had been carrying alone for too long, attempting to give him back a little of what he’d given me. I pressed my hand harder against his chest. “Breathe with me.”

I recognized the signs of a panic attack from the handful I had after my assault. The only thing that helped me was stuff that brought me back to the present, items that jolted me into the here and now. I just hoped the feel of my hand over his heart could be that for him.

“Warrior?” he croaked.

It was more sound than a word, a garbled collection of syllables that cracked my damn heart. “I’m right here. Look at me.”

I watched as those dark-blue orbs seemed to try their damnedest to focus. His breaths sounded like wheezing, pained inhales. I pressed my hand harder against his chest. “I’m here. I’m with you. ”

Some of the glassiness cleared from Cope’s eyes, and his breathing slowed a fraction.

“That’s it. Nice and easy. With me.” Everything hurt, not because of anything I was going through but because I could feel Cope’s pain. It bled into the air around us, seeping into my pores and taking root.

“My warrior,” he rasped, his forehead dropping to mine, his breaths easing even more.

We stayed like that for…I didn’t know how long, just breathing together. Because sometimes that was all you could do. No words could soothe the ravaged wounds of grief. All you could do was be present in the pain with the person experiencing it. That was a precious gift because people often couldn’t withstand the discomfort of someone else’s sorrow.

But I could shoulder it for Cope. Because he deserved all that and more.

“You came,” he whispered.

“Sorry it took me a minute to find my way.”

Cope pulled back a fraction, his eyes searching mine. Then he closed the distance again, pressing his lips to my forehead and branding me forevermore. “It doesn’t matter. You’re here now.”

My heart jerked in my chest, rioting at the danger this man was to me in so many ways. But I’d been living in the dark for far too long. And Arden was right; it was time to step into the light.

When Cope pulled back, I lifted my hands to his face, letting the scruff there prickle my palms. “Tell me what you need.”

Cope’s throat worked as he swallowed. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

“The eulogy?”

He nodded roughly. “Hell, I don’t know if I can even go back inside the damn church.” He paused for a moment, his gaze moving to the trees beyond the side alley. “I haven’t been in a sanctuary since my dad and brother’s funeral.”

My fingers tightened on his face. “Not even for a wedding?”

Cope shook his head. “Always made excuses for why I couldn’t make the ceremonies. It just—it’s like I’m back there. ”

An ache took root in my bones as if my body was pulling his pain into me. “What would Teddy say?”

Cope’s mouth twisted. “He wouldn’t give a damn about any of this.”

“What about you? Do you give a damn about it?” Because Cope was the one who had to live with his choices today.

He let out a shuddering breath. “I want to honor him. I want to tell his parents what a privilege it was to be his friend.”

My hands dropped from Cope’s face, and I threaded my fingers through his. “Then let’s do that. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Cope squeezed my hand in a death grip. “Promise?”

“I’m with you.”

He swallowed again, then nodded his head slowly.

“Let’s do this.” I led him toward the side entrance, and Cope opened the door.

At least a dozen eyes shot to us the moment we stepped inside. Sweat beaded and ran down my spine, but I didn’t run. I kept hold of Cope’s hand and didn’t let go, just like I promised. A redhead in a sleek black dress stared at us in shock, her mouth falling open as her gaze dropped to our joined hands. Apparently, this sort of thing wasn’t the norm for Cope.

Another man in an expertly tailored suit strode forward. I knew the suit had to be custom-made because he was so tall I had to crane my head back to meet his hazel eyes. He looked at me with perplexed curiosity before turning to Cope. “Got it together?”

Cope nodded. “Sorry, Linc.”

“Don’t apologize. Just tell me if you need an X-ray and promise there won’t be a brawl in the chapel.”

My eyes widened and jerked to Cope. “You were in a fight?”

“It was nothing,” he said quickly.

“Tell that to the smashed photo and Marcus’s bruised ribs,” Linc shot back.

Crud. None of that was good. I squeezed Cope’s hand and met the team owner’s stare dead-on. It took some doing because he had the height and a leanly muscled fighter’s build, but I didn’t cower. “Cope’s got it handled.”

One corner of his mouth quirked up. “Looks like you’re the one to keep him in line.” He extended a hand, a glimpse of ink peeking from his sleeve. “Lincoln Pierce.”

I accepted the shake, trying not to let my hand tremble. “Sutton Holland.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Holland.”

“Sutton, please.”

He nodded. “Call me Linc. All my friends do.” Cope made a noise that almost sounded like a growl, and Lincoln’s face split into an outright grin. “Going to be fun as hell watching this one go down.”

I stared as Linc turned and strode back down the hall. What the hell did that mean?

Teddy’s service was what all memorials should be. A mix of humor and heart, laughter and tears. It only took me a matter of minutes to peg which of Cope’s teammates he’d gotten into a fight with. The blond-haired, green-eyed man glared in our direction for the first fifteen minutes of the service until someone next to him elbowed him hard in the ribs, making him wince and avert his gaze. I knew he had to be Marcus.

Thankfully, the man kept his focus on the front of the church after that. Teammates, friends, and coaches took turns going to the podium and sharing readings or stories. Each one made my heart ache for everything the world had lost with Teddy’s death. He was a bright light snuffed out far too soon.

As the head coach finished his story, he turned in Cope’s direction. “There’s one more person who needs to speak today. Teddy’s partner in crime and punishment, Copeland Colson.”

There was a scattering of light laughter at Coach Fielder’s remarks, but Cope didn’t move right away. I leaned into him, squeezing his hand that I hadn’t let go of. “Just talk to me. Tell me who Teddy is. I’ll be right here.”

Cope still didn’t move for a beat, then two. When he rose, he released my fingers at the last possible moment. He climbed the steps to the podium, pausing to clasp hands with the coach. When he finally reached the lectern, Cope’s eyes instantly found me, and he didn’t look away. He also didn’t speak.

I’m right here. I mouthed the words, hoping he could read my lips.

Cope’s chest rose with an inhale, and his mouth opened. “The first thing Teddy Jackson said to me was that if I was going to be a hotshot hockey player, I needed better style.”

The crowd broke into laughter, and Cope’s mouth curved slightly, but he still didn’t take his eyes off me. “We were sixteen and spending the summer at camp in the Middle-of-Nowhere, Minnesota. It was an hour and a half away from any sort of civilization, but Teddy somehow managed to throw a party in the woods, complete with a DJ and booze. And that was the first time Teddy got me grounded.”

Cope went on to share funny and heartwarming stories, ones that painted a picture of exactly who Teddy was. His fingers tightened on the podium as he finally forced his gaze to Teddy’s parents in the front row. Cope swallowed hard and began speaking one more time.

“You raised an incredible son. One who brought fun and laughter to everyone he was around. But so much more. He was the kind of man who always had his friends’ backs. The kind who always took the time to check on me when he knew I was struggling. The kind who gave so much more than he ever took. And I promise you, I am a better man because I knew your son.”

Teddy’s mom broke then, her tears coming fast and free. Cope strode from the podium straight to her as she stood and hugged the woman hard. He fought his own tears, those dark-blue eyes shining under the church’s lights.

When he released her, the minister asked everyone to stand. I didn’t hear her closing words, only snatches of things that promised Teddy lived on in each of us and the lives he touched. I only had eyes for Cope as he moved toward me.

He slipped into the pew, his arm sliding around me, and his face pressing to my neck as he breathed deeply. “Thank you, Warrior.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

Cope pulled back, his eyes shining. “You lent me your strength.”