20. Cope

20

COPE

This suit was going to strangle me. No matter how many times I adjusted the damn tie, I still felt like I couldn’t breathe. And it didn’t matter how expensive the material was; it felt like itchy burlap.

“Cope.” The voice was soft and full of empathy. And, God, it made me a bastard, but it wasn’t the one I wanted to hear right now.

I turned to face the owner. “Hey, Ang.”

She instantly moved into my space, wrapping her arms around my waist and pressing her face to my chest. It was a move she’d made countless times, but it felt empty now. I didn’t feel the comfort I did with Sutton’s mere presence. I didn’t feel the understanding I got without Sutton saying a word. I felt…nothing.

Still, I returned the hug and patted her back gently. She held on for a beat too long before finally releasing me. When she tipped her head back, red hair cascading down her back, her green eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “Are you okay?”

That was the last fucking question I wanted to answer, but I did my best to force a smile I knew likely looked more like a grimace. “Hanging in there. You?”

Her arms fell from mine, and she took my hands in hers. “I just can’t believe this is happening.”

I was a prick. A callous asshole because Angie needed comfort, and all I could think about was how to get her to let go of my goddamned hands.

“Angie.” Linc’s voice cut through the air like a knife. There was power behind it, something likely trained from birth. That’s what happened when you were raised in one of the wealthiest families in the world. I just happened to know that he hated his family with the passion of a thousand blazing suns—his dad, at least.

Angie released my hands and took a huge step back. “Lincoln.”

He gave her a brusque nod. “Would you mind checking in with security? I want to make sure no media makes it into the church.”

Angie’s lips pursed in a move I knew meant she was annoyed, but she didn’t voice it. “Of course.”

My gaze moved to the owner of the Sparks as Angie walked away. “We both know you have this place locked down tight.” Linc wasn’t the kind of guy who left things to chance. He was aware of all possibilities and had multiple contingency plans for each of them.

He lifted a single brow. “You didn’t need rescuing?”

“I’m not a fucking damsel in distress.”

Linc let out a low chuckle. “Tell that to the look on your face. It was sort of a cross between panic and nausea.”

I scrubbed a hand over my stubbled cheek. “I never should’ve gotten involved with someone associated with the team.”

“Not to say I told you so, but…”

“Fuck off,” I muttered.

“You ready?” he asked, all traces of humor gone from his voice.

No. The last thing I wanted to do was get up in front of a crowd and tell them why I never deserved a friend as good as Teddy. Just picturing the pews jammed full of people had my chest tightening.

“Ready,” I forced out.

“You’re a shit liar,” Linc muttered .

“I’ll do what I need to do,” I clipped.

Linc searched my face. “I can tell the Jacksons you aren’t up to?—”

“No. I’ve got this.”

Linc didn’t look convinced, but he nodded. “All right. I’m going to make the rounds. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do.” My palms were already sweaty, my breathing shallow. Fuck. I needed air.

I moved through the crowd of players, taking up all the space in a small side room at the back of the church, and forced myself to nod and give chin lifts to teammates as I passed. My lungs tightened with each passing second. I quickly slipped into the hallway and nearly collided with someone.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

The other figure simply grunted as he glared at me. “Surprised you even bothered showing up. But I guess you have to play the role of golden boy,” Marcus snapped.

“Not today, all right? Pick any other day to be an ass of epic proportions. I’ll even give you a free shot to make up for me embarrassing you in front of our entire team. Just not today.”

The fist came out of nowhere. One second, I was standing there. The next, Marcus’s knuckles were connecting with my jaw. My head snapped back with a vicious crack.

But fuck, that bite of pain and the flare of anger that followed were a hell of a lot better than the grief, guilt, and panic I’d been feeling seconds ago. The moment my head righted itself, I threw a hook shot to Marcus’s ribs, and he grunted in pain.

It wasn’t long before he retaliated, attempting to tackle me to the ground. We hit a wall instead, sending a framed photo crashing to the floor. The sound must’ve alerted people to the altercation because my teammates spilled into the hall a few moments later.

Two guys grabbed me—one on each arm—and yanked me back as another two caught Marcus. He spat a slew of curses in their direction and tried to break free, but the two enforcers didn’t show any signs of letting go .

Linc stalked in, moving between us, fury washing over his face. “What the fuck is wrong with you two? This is a goddamned funeral. A church.”

“Might not want to say ‘goddamned’ in a church, boss,” Frankie muttered, not letting go of my arm. Linc sent him a withering stare. “Got it. Shutting up, boss.”

Linc looked between Marcus and me. “I don’t know what the hell is going on between the two of you, but you need to fix it. We’re a team. And Teddy would be ashamed of both of you right now.”

The words were worse than any blow Marcus could’ve leveled. Because they were the cold, hard truth. Teddy would’ve kicked my ass for pulling this shit, even if Marcus had been the one to start it.

The pain was back, fiery agony searing through muscle and sinew. “Need a minute,” I croaked. The desperation in my words had Frankie and my other teammate releasing me.

I didn’t wait for another condemnation from Linc, just spun on my heel and stalked down the hall. Angie stood there, a look of shock on her face. “Cope?—”

She reached out, but I dodged her grasp. “Don’t,” I clipped. “Just don’t.”

I stalked down the hall, hitting the door with Exit emblazoned on it, the force enough to rattle my bones. The moment I stepped outside, I sucked in air. It wasn’t the kind of fresh I could find in Sparrow Falls, but it was better than the thick, too-hot air of the church.

Clouds had gathered, threatening rain the way they often did in Seattle. But it fit today. Part of me hoped the sky would open, and a lightning bolt would take me out. It would be so much easier.

My breaths came faster and faster, each one shallower than the one before. The burn lit in my chest, and each breath felt like inhaling acid. It was too much. Images of Teddy blurred with ones of my brother and dad. Pictures of twisted metal and the sounds of pain.

Black spots danced in front of my vision as my world tunneled. And then someone was there. A tiny body propped me up as a hand pressed against my chest. And then I heard her voice.

“Breathe, Cope. Breathe with me.”