Chapter 20

“You’re in a really good mood this morning,” Jet commented while we drove to school the next week. I flashed him a brilliant smile and continued singing to one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs on the radio.

Jet smiled back and started tapping his hand on the steering wheel along with the beat. It was one of our things, jamming out in the car on the way to school. Jet grabbed a water bottle from the console and tilted his head back, using it as a microphone as he belted every Taylor Swift word by heart.

I just grinned, laughing.

“Don’t tell anyone that I can do that.” He ran a hand back through his curls when the song was over. “I have a little dignity left I need to keep intact.”

I rolled my eyes, still grinning. “I’ll be sure to keep it under wraps.”

“Any more news or anything? How’s the baby?” Jet glanced down at my middle as we stopped at a light.

“She’s fine. I finally started showing last weekend. Did I tell you?”

“No. That’s awesome.” He glanced down at my middle again, searching, and I held up my top for him to see.

“It’s not much yet, so it’s still easy to hide.”

“Is that what has you in such a good mood today?”

“Partly? I guess. But honestly, I just woke up feeling like today’s going to be a really good day. Like something really good or exciting is going to happen.”

“I hope so. Mondays usually suck.”

I shrugged with an agreeing grin and looked out the window, my fingers tapping a beat against my thigh to the song Leo and I had been practicing for the audition. My smile slid wider at the thought. I still couldn’t believe how understanding he’d been.

“So, Tucker seems like an okay guy,” Leo said as we found a place to park and eat. I was already halfway through my chicken wrap he’d brought me, having dug in as soon as we’d gotten in the car.

Swallowing, I nodded. “He’s really great. I promise. You just keep catching him after drama.”

“I wasn’t being sarcastic.” He popped a shoulder, grabbing his toasted club to join me. “It’s obvious he cares about you a lot. He’s pretty damn big, though. Do I need to worry about him being jealous like the last guy?”

“Not unless you decide to have a thing for me,” I teased.

Leo shook his head. “It’s nothing like that with us, and you know it.”

“Then, you have nothing to worry about.” I grinned. “Hey, I’ve been wanting to check; how’s your solo piece for your audition coming?”

“Good, but I’d love your feedback on it. You think you’ll be back at the studio soon? You look like you’re feeling better.”

“Honestly…probably not as much as I want to be.”

“What? Why?” He sat straight.

I grimaced. “You want to finish your sandwich first?”

“That bad, huh?”

“It’s not great.”

Leo took two large bites, polishing off the first half of his food, and put the rest back in his bag. “Spill.”

I sighed, so not looking forward to this, but he needed to know. I tugged at my hair, pulling it over one shoulder and twisting it into a long column as I found the words to explain. “So, those dizzy spells and everything I’ve been having?” He nodded. “Well, it turns out that I’m actually pregnant.”

Leo’s eyes bulged as he gaped, and his gaze flicked down to my stomach and back again. “You’re…no, Izzy…” He groaned, dropping his head back against his seat in frustration as I ducked my head over my lap. “This can’t be happening. You’re too good!”

I shrugged, my gaze focused on my knees, embarrassed and unwilling to see my friend’s disappointment. “I’m sorry. I only found out about a week or so ago. If it helps, my doctor has cleared me to still dance for now. I just have to be careful and take more breaks. That is, if you still want to be my partner. You’ll have to find someone new in the spring, though. I’m due in April.”

It was deathly quiet for a minute, and I thought I was going to go crazy waiting for him to say something. This was almost as bad as when I’d had to wait on that stupid stick.

“Izzy,” Leo said, finally snapping to his senses, his tone demanding my attention. When I braved to look, he continued. “If you think I’m crazy enough to think I can find another dance partner as good as you, you’re crazy. We click. I mean we can go places kind of click. I don’t care if I have to do solo routines for the spring season, that’s fine, but you’re not quitting, and you’re not giving up that audition.”

“But it’s not like I can still go if I get in.”

“Bullshit. You can do whatever you set your mind to. There are babysitters, you know. I’ll watch the baby myself sometimes if I have to. No, wait, my sister runs a daycare. I’ll talk to her. I know she’ll give you a good rate. I’m not letting you give up on your dream.”

“Holy crap.” I cried as I laughed, wiping tears from my cheeks. “You can’t be serious. You can’t be this awesome.”

“Damn straight, I’m this awesome. Now, where’s that hulk of a boyfriend of yours so I can kick his ass?”

I laughed at the memory and fell into sync to sing with Jet as the next song came on the radio. “So, are you planning anything special for Annie’s birthday?” I asked when the song ended. We were just turning into the parking lot, and Jet left the car on for the heat. It was the first day back after Thanksgiving break, and it was cold.

“It’s like a month away.”

“Like you haven’t been thinking about it for months.” I raised an eyebrow, and Jet grinned.

“Fine, yeah. Tucker and I have both been brainstorming since we’re all coupled up this year, so I really can’t tell you.”

“It’s a surprise?” My face lit up.

“Yep. And y’all will like it. Now, stop bugging me about it,” he scolded, pointing a playful finger at me.

“If it wasn’t for both of us, I’d guess it was dancing. We haven’t been to Breaker Hall in a while.” I sighed wistfully, and he winked at me before reaching into the backseat for our backpacks.

Jet hopped out while I was still slipping back into my jacket, and I opened my door, bracing myself for the cold. I’d just set one foot outside the car and stood when I gasped and froze, my hand flying to my stomach.

Was that?

“Izzy? What? What’s wrong?” Jet’s panicked voice filtered in as he rushed around to my side. He stepped up behind me and spread his arms, hooking his elbows on the door and the top of his car. I still couldn’t move. Shocked. Waiting to see if it would happen again or if I was just crazy.

“Izzy, what is it?” Jet pressed when I didn’t answer. “Izzy, seriously. Are you okay?” he hissed urgently by my ear. “Do I need to take you to the hospital?”

“No.” His question jerked me back, my voice an astonished whisper. I slowly turned to look at him, my eyes wide as I felt it again. The little nudge in my middle. “She moved.”

“What?” he asked, utter confusion in his features.

“The baby,” I whispered. “I just felt her move.”

“Really?” Jet’s jaw dropped. “You felt her?”

I nodded. What a strange yet utterly amazing feeling. It felt like little bubbles or popcorn from the inside. I smiled, enamored as I felt it again. I knew today was going to be a good day.

We stood there for a minute, me marveling while Jet still tried to block us from view, until I finally realized how awkward we must look. In a tremendous effort to remain inconspicuous, I forced myself to move my hand and grabbed my things from the car.

“We should probably head to class. We don’t wanna be late,” I said to get us moving.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jet lowered his arms, still looking half in shock, and shut the door.

We waved goodbye when we reached a split in the hall, and I was practically buzzing with happiness on my way to class. Those little arms and legs I’d seen in pictures were stronger now, and the whole thing felt so much more real. Tangible. And for the moment, I was just excited.

Annie went on alert the second I entered homeroom, leaning over in her seat as I took mine. “What happened?”

I shook my head. “I’ll tell you later.” I looked around, indicating there were too many ears. “But it’s good. I promise.” I couldn’t stop smiling. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the day without telling Annie.

Or Tucker! He’d be so excited to find out! And he’d definitely know something was up as soon as he saw me.

Maybe we can go sit in his truck at lunch or something. Even celebrate a bit…

Oh! Or the stands. We can all go up to the stands again!

I pulled out my phone to text under the table, and their thumbs ups came through.

It was later that morning when my plans were ruined. I headed to my third period class, eager to see Tucker, but he wasn’t in his seat. Glancing up at the clock, I saw he still had another minute, but it was weird. He was usually here before me.

“Izzy?”

I looked up at the teacher’s voice.

“I just got a call from the office. Ms. Lane would like to see you.”

Like a punch to the gut, the color drained from my face. Because I knew there were very few reasons for me to get called to that office.

Convincing myself it would be fine, I gathered my things and headed back out into the hall. It was mostly deserted now. Other than someone darting into a nearby classroom and some freshman kid fighting with his locker, it was bare, until I saw Tucker rush around the corner.

“Coach caught me for some stuff,” he explained, running a hand back through his blonde strands as he caught up to me, but then he gave me a puzzled look. “Where’re you going? Aren’t you coming to class?”

“No. Ms. Lane wants to see me.”

Alarm touched Tucker’s expression, but I shook my head. “I’m thinking Mom probably called the school this morning or something. I asked her to wait until after Thanksgiving. Remember?”

He nodded, looking like he could breathe again.

“Okay, yeah. Well, fill me in at lunch?”

I squeezed his hand. “Of course.”

I found Ms. Lane waiting for me when I reached the office, a serious expression on her face.

“Come in.” She waved me over and headed into her office, leaving me to follow. I settled into the padded chair I’d gotten so used to last year as she took a seat at her desk, but the vibe in the room was totally different. Serious. I knew she knew.

Ms. Lane steepled her fingers under her chin, resting her elbows at her desk. As if she was trying to decide the best way to start. Eventually, she sighed.

“The nurse got a call from your mom today, and she asked that I see you. I must say, this was not a situation I ever thought I’d have to pull you in here for.”

I ducked my head, my eyes tearing. It somehow felt like I’d let her down.

I’d let myself down, too.

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, I’m glad you understand this is serious. The nurse told me how far along you are, and I was surprised. You’re not even showing.”

“I just started. My clothes still hide it well.”

“But they won’t forever. Do you want to tell me how you’re feeling? Or maybe what some of your plans are?”

My guard instantly went up. If she was pulling me in because Mom had asked her to…

Ms. Lane sighed. “I was hoping this might go easier since we have some history together. I’m honestly just an extra ear if you need to talk. You know how this goes. It stays between us. I won’t tell your mom unless I need to. This is a safe space. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone outside of the situation.”

My shoulders dropped at that. Because I so needed it. Someone I could talk to that wasn’t going to scream at me if I didn’t want to choose adoption. “I’m feeling…” I took a deep breath and ran my fingers back through my hair, pulling it away from my eyes. “Stressed. Pressured. Mom has very strong opinions about what I should do, and so do Tucker’s parents.”

“Tucker’s?” Ms. Lane perked up, but I heard the alarm. “Pierce?”

“Yes.” I sighed. “We’ve been dating since the end of summer. The baby’s his.”

She sucked in a breath, and a stab of hurt hit my gut. Because of course everyone at school was going to hate hearing that the star basketball player with tons of scholarship offers was being dragged down by a baby. By me.

I suddenly felt sick.

“If you don’t mind, Ms. Lane, I think I’d like to go.”

She gave me a sympathetic smile, but sympathy wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t know what I wanted.

“Sure. We can keep this first visit brief.”

“First visit?” I paused before getting up.

“Yes. This will be a lot, no matter what you decide to do, and I’d hate to see you start to struggle again after all the progress you made last year.”

I nodded, the motion robotic. “Can I go now?”

“Yes. But may I at least ask what you plan to do? Your mom mentioned–”

“Adoption.” I cut her off with her hopeful tone. “Right. Of course she did. But no. Tucker and I are keeping it. Sorry to disappoint you, too.”

I rushed out before she could say anything else, my stomach turning. I knew Ms. Lane hadn’t meant to, but I felt her judgment and how she’d already sided with Mom. That safe space felt gone. Not to mention that now that the school knew, I’d have to start sitting out of dance. The rumors would start soon, looks of pity and judging glares I wasn’t ready for…

I’d known it was coming, but it felt so real now. Right around the corner.

Choking back a sob, I hurried out into the empty hall. The lockers blurred as my tears began to spill, my heeled boots making loud clacking sounds on the tiled floors as I ran. Desperate to get out of sight before the halls flooded with the bell, I burst through the door to one of the girls’ restrooms and collapsed into a tight ball in the back corner, my bag and purse flung against an adjacent wall.

My tears flowed then, hot and fierce down my cheeks, my world crumbling around me.