Chapter 18

There were a million and one things barreling through my head, and for once, I didn’t think running would be enough. Since everything had come out with Izzy and Tucker, things had been more than stressful. Mom had gone off the deep end, fighting with Izzy every second they were both at home, still furious at her and trying to convince her to go for adoption.

Izzy was steadfastly holding her ground and kept hiding out in her studio, doing thirty-minute dance sprints just to keep her sanity. It was worrying the hell out of me after learning how her dedication to dance had been affecting her lately, but she at least swore she was taking it easier now, just doing it to take out her frustration.

Poor Archer didn’t know what way was up, and I’d spent the last few evenings trying to reassure him of everything that was going on. Even having to give him a basics version of the sex talk when he’d just had too many questions. Kid didn’t know when to quit.

Then there was me, once again trying to keep the house afloat while everything was going into chaos. Part of me didn’t mind because someone had to do it, while the other part of me was a hair’s breadth away from screaming because I was not equipped for any of this shit either.

I mean, my freaking sister was pregnant! And she wanted to keep it. If I didn’t know Izzy, I’d swear she lost her mind. She had everything going for her. An amazing audition and talent oozing out of every pore of her body. And here she was, ready to throw it all away because our freaking idiot best friend forgot to wrap his fucking dick one time.

Not that I had proof that that’s when it happened, but follow the logic…

And freaking Tucker! He had just as much if not more to lose. The one thing I’d give him was that he wasn’t running away. He was owning this fuckup. Sticking by Izzy’s side. And when he wasn’t, he was engrossed in basketball, staying late at practice or honing drills in his driveway. Other than that, I didn’t know where his head was. He wasn’t talking. But as long as he had my sister’s back, I could deal.

Then there was Jet. And as hard as he tried not to show it, I knew he was devastated over football. Not only was he missing out on the playoffs for his last season, but his chances of a scholarship were so small now… I was digging deep every day to maintain my hope that one would still come through. That his arm would heal in time and our team would get close enough to the championships for him to still play.

I was basically pushing for a miracle.

One that Jet had to believe I believed in for him not to give up.

He was out there on that field every day for practice, working with the coaches and going over plays and drills with his teammates, doing everything he could to still contribute to his team. His heart and soul were in it, but underneath it all, when we were alone and he didn’t have to put up the front, I saw the discouragement and all of his doubts. He’d duck inside his family’s garage every evening to work on his Mustang, tuning it and doing whatever else he could on his car with his broken arm. And I sat in his garage with him for hours, set up with my books on a stool at the tool counter as I studied. My standing as the top of our class didn’t just come from nowhere, but it wasn’t how I usually functioned. I was dealing, though, providing Jet with my company while Izzy buried herself away with her own stress and demons.

We all had our outlets. It was just mine that was getting pushed to the ground and forgotten. There wasn’t enough of me or my time to go around.

So, with a stress-induced panic attack just waiting to pounce from the load on the back of my shoulders, I got permission from Jet’s coach that afternoon to run the outer lane at the track during football practice.

It was utter freedom.

Tension melting from my muscles like butter.

But with letting so much get pent up in the first place, it was hard to drown out the heavy weight of everything that was waiting for me.

It was just enough, though, to help me sustain. To be what each of my friends and my family needed. I could do this.

My body and my sanity just needed to run.

If only running away from it all was really an option.

The thought was wistful, but at the same time, I knew I didn’t really want to. The only thing that would really fix everything was turning back time. Like a factory reset to before things started going wrong.

But that was impossible.

The song changed on my headphones, Absolutely by Nine Days filling my ears, and my muscles itched to take off with the faster tempo. I pushed myself into a full out sprint, everything drowning away, the stress, the worries, thoughts, and obligations. It all fell into oblivion the last several laps of my workout, my body finally reaching that state of numb, adrenaline-fueled euphoria I craved.

I didn’t stop even when I saw the football players breaking from practice, not ready to give it up yet. It wasn’t until the sky turned dark, and I could barely see the path in front of me, that I pushed the last of the stretch and collapsed on the astroturf at the edge of the track. I laid out, spreadeagled, and closed my eyes. Just taking in me. The beat of my heart, my breaths, the rise and fall of my lungs, the blades of fake grass tickling under my legs. The cool breeze brushing over my flushed and sweaty skin. I laid there until my breathing returned to normal and my thoughts eased back in.

But they were doable now. Less chaotic.

“I love watching you fly.”

I smiled at the voice and turned my head before opening my eyes. Jet was seated on a bench at the sidelines, just staring. Awe reflected in his eyes under the lights. He stood, walking over to extend a hand. “Do you feel better?”

I nodded, letting him pull me up. “I feel like I can breathe now.”

The corner of his mouth dipped in a frown. “It’s been a lot lately, huh?”

“So much.”

We held hands, heading out of the parking lot together, so much said between us then that didn’t need saying aloud.

We sat in his car when we got home, and I dropped my head to my bag, not ready to get out. He reached over to massage the back of my neck, and I moaned as his magic fingers found the knots of tension in my neck.

“You need a night out,” Jet declared, and I snorted. Cuz that was going to happen. “I’m serious, Annie. Go in. Get showered and changed. I’ll be over to pick you up in thirty minutes.” He got out of the car and came around to open my door. I just stared up at him like he was crazy. “I mean it.” He jerked his head. “Inside. Shower. Now. It’s my turn to take care of you.”

There was gentleness behind his command that was so Jet, that my insides melted just hearing it, and I smiled. “Okay.”

I ran upstairs, and while I was tempted to take the fastest shower of my life, I decided to take a few extra minutes, shaving and using some body scrub I saved for special occasions. Doing a quick blow dry of my hair, I threw it up in a cute messy bun and swiped on a clear coat of lip gloss, my complexion still flushed and vibrant from my run without makeup.

I shimmied into my favorite pair of jeans that made my ass look great and threw on a deep blue sweater that both hugged my curves and would keep me warm. Borrowing a pair of Izzy’s ankle boots to finish the outfit off, I headed downstairs to wait for Jet.

I could hear Izzy still in her studio, and I tapped on the door when I heard a pause in the music. “Hey,” I greeted, finding her taking a water break.

She nodded, her eyes flicking up and down my outfit.

“You’re leaving?”

“Uh…yeah?” I questioned, picking something up in her tone. “Jet’s taking me out. Just thought I’d make sure you were okay before I go and to let you know you’d have to do the supper, homework, and bed thing with Archer tonight.”

“Great.” She set down her water and turned the music back on, turning her back to me.

Uh, excuse me?Had I missed something?

I cut the music, and Izzy whipped around to face me. “Do you mind?”

“Kind of?” I threw my hands on my hips. “You’re kind of being a bitch right now. Did something happen?”

“You mean besides all the drama with Mom again? No. I’m just sick of it and in a bad freaking mood, sis. Plus, I just got into it with Tucker earlier, which has me terrified that he’ll start to pull away and second guess all of this. Like I’m waiting for the freaking shoe to drop. And you’ve been out with Jet so much I’ve barely seen you, so no support there, but no, go ahead and have a nice night out. I don’t care.” She smacked the music back on, and I immediately smacked it off again.

“I’ve been with Jet because you’ve been holed up in here or with Tucker. But don’t act like I’m never around. I’m the one that’s been keeping the house running while you and Mom have been at each other’s throats. I’m not the one who fucked up, Izzy, so don’t turn this all around on me.”

She reeled back as I smacked a hand over my mouth, realizing what I’d said.

“Izzy, I didn–”

“Oh, but you did.” Her eyes went flat with her tone, and instead of flipping the music back on, she checked my shoulder as she pushed past me out the door.

I clenched my eyes shut, cursing myself. Because, fuck, I’d just dug a hole.

“Hey! You ready?!” Jet’s voice suddenly called out from the living room.

“In here!” I yelled, leaning back against the wall.

Jet’s head popped in the doorway, and the wide smile he’d saved just for me dropped. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just a horrible sister. Give me a minute?”

“Sure.”

I ran upstairs, finding Izzy face down on her bed. She groaned and rolled over to her side. “It feels weird to lay on my stomach.”

“Um, okay.” I stumbled for a response, not expecting the turn.

“It’s harder than it used to be.” She pressed a couple of fingers to her middle, demonstrating how it didn’t dip with the pressure. “How did I miss this?”

Relieved she was talking, I took a seat on the edge of my bed, facing her. “Well, other than that, you’re not showing. And you were having light periods, so I don’t blame you for not realizing at first.”

“But you think I’m stupid for letting it happen.” She looked away to stare at the nightstand, and I winced.

“I don’t think you’re stupid, but I do think this was a really crappy thing to happen.”

“Yeah, me, too. I just don’t want you to hate me for it.”

“Never.” I scooted forward to grab her hand.

She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes, so much sadness in her gaze. “Go out with Jet, sis. I’m sorry for being a bitch before. I was just in a bad mood and took it out on you.”

“Really? You sure it’s nothing else?”

She nodded. “I’m fine.”

I was proud of myself for keeping a straight face at the end. My emotions were haywire. Mom had surprised me after lunch, picking me up for a last-minute doctor’s appointment she’d managed to snag. And while I’d been thrown between terrified and excited, I was furious that she was springing it on me so that Tucker couldn’t even plan to go.

The one saving grace was that he was now eighteen, and when I texted him, he checked out right after athletics to rush over and join us.

Mom had looked pissed.

I didn’t care.

It was everything after the appointment that went terribly wrong anyway.

“And there’s your baby.” The ultrasound tech turned the screen monitor so that Tucker and I could see.

I gazed in awe and surprise. In my head, I’d pictured a tiny blob that would have to be pointed out like in movies, but what I was seeing right now looked like an actual baby. A clear head and even arms and feet that were waving about.

“How do I not feel that?” I whispered.

“You should soon.” The tech smiled, adjusting the wand on my stomach. She clicked a few more things on her keyboard, making lines on the screen around parts of the baby. My baby. My hand found Tucker’s by my side, and he engulfed it in his, his gaze still on the screen with a focused brow.

“How far along is she?” Mom’s voice was clipped, but some of the edge had left her tone as she stared at the screen from the bench against the wall.

“She’s measuring right around nineteen weeks.” The tech shook her head in wonderment.

My brow furrowed. “That far? Shouldn’t I be showing or something?” Worry laced through my tone, and I looked between Mom and the tech.

Compassion touched Mom’s expression. “Not everyone shows early. Especially if it’s your first pregnancy. But I am surprised at how far along you are. Nineteen weeks would’ve been back in July.” Her tone went firm again, her anger and judgment once again clear. “I swear, Isabel, you should’ve noticed something sooner.”

“I’m sorry.” A tear slipped down. Because she was right.

Tucker squeezed my hand, bringing me back before I could spiral. Everything Mom said lately hit so harsh.

“Oh, look, she gave us a good view.” The ultrasound tech clicked another picture on her screen before pointing. “Looks like you’re having a girl.”

My heart swelled, and I pressed my lips together as I looked at Tucker. He looked gobsmacked.

“Would you like to hear the heartbeat?” The tech looked over at us, her voice upbeat, and my pulse skipped in excitement.

“Please.”

There was a whooshing sound just before a rapid gallop filled the room. Tears pricked my eyes at the odd but clear sound, and I looked up at Tucker, joy filling my heart. He just stared at the screen, watching the baby, but he definitely looked overwhelmed.

“You okay?”

He looked down and gave me a small smile. “Yeah. Just taking it all in.”

I slid off the table when the appointment was over, and we saw Dr. Fallor next for some updates and next steps. By the time we were through, my head was swimming with information.

“Are you coming back to school?” Tucker asked, heading to his truck. He’d been weirdly quiet. Not that I blamed him. It was a lot to take in. Especially after that last part with Dr. Fallor.

“Uh, yeah. I’m riding back with Tucker.” I scooped up my backpack out of Mom’s car before she could argue and bolted over to Tucker’s Chevy. Noticing all too well that he didn’t come around to open my door.

“Home right after school!” Mom hollered behind me.

The silence in the truck was deafening as we drove back, and I knew it was all my fault. “Please talk to me,” I murmured, hating the tension, desperate to make things normal between us again.

I was terrified that would never happen. We’d just confirmed exactly what I’d been worried about.

Tucker shook his head, his hands gripped firmly on the wheel while he kept his gaze focused on the road. Even with no other cars on this stretch of the highway, he wouldn’t look at me.

“Tucker. I’m sorry. If I’d known–”

“I know I forgot the condom, but I wanted to get the plan B, Izzy. You were the one that swore it was fine. You were on the pill.” His voice was rough. Nowhere near yelling but just as punishing. I internally cringed and then swallowed.

“I was on the pill. I just didn’t know switching pills had that window before I’d be fully protected.”

He nodded; his jaw clenched. “Yeah, that window that came back to bite us in the ass.”

“I’m sorry.” I gave a hard swallow, fighting back the urge to cry. Because he was right. And he was pissed. And I was terrified. “I know this is far from ideal, but it was still incredible to see her for the first time.”

He nodded, still not speaking.

He didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day. I’d even tried texting, so he’d see it after basketball practice, but all he sent back was a thumbs up.

Which I felt through the phone was anything but fine.

I slid my hand under my pillow and pulled out the small stack of pictures the ultrasound tech had printed off. My fingers traced the photos, following the outline of her little nose and lips. Of her legs and arms to the tips of her fingers. Amazed that even right now she had little fingerprints.

She was perfect.

She’d thrown my life for an utter loop. Into a complete mess. But holy crap, had I fallen in love with her today.

My world was now hers.

I just didn’t want to do it without her daddy in it. Because as much as I had fallen in love with her, as much as I knew keeping her was what I wanted to do, I was scared. So much of my life was about to change, and I didn’t know how I was going to manage everything that was coming my way. With or without Tucker.

It was terrifying.

Brushing away a couple of errant tears, I picked up my phone from the nightstand and sent Tucker another text.

Me: I know you’re mad, and I completely understand. But I hope you won’t hold it against me forever. Love you.

I attached a few hearts to the end before hitting send. It was several minutes before he responded.

Tucker: Love you.

My heart skipped with hope.

Jet’s thumb traced along the lines in my palm before trailing over the back of my hand, swirling in calming patterns he’d perfected against me years ago. Even now, my body and mind eased, relaxed by his side.

Finding a spot to park down an isolated back road after a fun dinner and movie date, we were laid out on the hood of his car and staring up at the stars.

It was peaceful. A moment carved out in time for just the two of us.

The rest of the world didn’t matter. Not for a few minutes at least.

I pulled in a deep breath and let it out on a long, slow exhale. “Thank you. For this.”

Jet squeezed my hand. “Glad to help. It did help, right?” He looked at me, and I smiled, rolling my head against the cool metal to look back at him.

“Yeah. It did.”

I got lost in those blue eyes looking back at me. The color was hidden in the dark, but I had them memorized, and I knew every inflection and detail as clearly as if they were highlighted by the sun.

Jet rolled his head away and threw his arm behind his head to rest on his cast. “I love nights like this. All these stars? Makes me remember how small I am in the grand scheme of things.”

I smirked. “This your way of trying to tell me everything happens for a reason?”

“It makes you think, doesn’t it? I know it’s hard to see now, but there’s gotta be a reason all this happened.”

I frowned. “So, you’re a fan of them keeping the baby?”

Jet lifted a single shoulder in a shrug. “It’s not my place to say. I just like to think we’re not down here floundering around for nothing. That there’s a plan. A reason for all of it, even if we can’t see it. Who knows? Maybe Izzy is destined to get in a horrible accident if she goes off to that Academy, and this baby is the universe’s way of making sure it doesn’t happen.”

My brow rose. “Wow…you’re really philosophical tonight.”

“Maybe it’s the same with my arm. Maybe having a college football career just isn’t the right path for me, and fracturing my wrist is steering me back to the right one.”

“Or the right scholarship,” I suggested instead. “What if the right school is coming later, and this is keeping you available until it does?”

Jet beamed, making me smile.

He rolled to his side, his eyes finding mine. “You’re amazing. You know that right?”

My heart smiled, and I reached out to cup his cheek as he leaned over me, capturing me in a kiss. It was sweet, intimate, deep, and it had my insides curling down to my toes. The way I loved this man.

He grabbed my thigh, hooking my leg over the back of his, and I moaned as he rolled me over to my back and ground his hips against my core, the friction hitting the perfect spot in my jeans. My hand slid around to his back, tracing along the broad planes and the muscles before making its way below the waist of his jeans. I cupped his ass, tilting my hips up to meet his as he thrust again.

“Out here?” he breathed, asking what I was okay with, and I shook my head, everything in my body just as frantic for him.

“In the car.”

One last deep kiss and he pushed off me, hopping down from the hood, and I quickly slid off after him. He threw open his door and crawled in, adjusting his seat so there was room for me over his lap, and I pulled the door shut behind us, my hands already grabbing at his clothes so I could touch his skin. Feel his warmth against mine.

Peeling off each other’s shirts, Jet stopped to stare at my chest, his hand slowly tracing and cupping over the lime green satin. He leaned forward, running his tongue over the swell of my breast as he reached behind me to unclasp the hooks. Tossing it away, his lips immediately trailed down to my nipples, and he sucked one into his mouth, flicking his tongue over the sensitive peak as his thumb brushed over the other, leaving neither unattended. I gasped at the sensations, loving the reverence he treated my body with. I leaned back against the wheel as he lavished my breasts with attention, and eventually, his hands trailed down my stomach to unhook the button on my jeans.

Pulling the zipper down, Jet slipped his fingers inside, and I moaned as he slid them through my slick heat.

“God, you’re wet for me. My good girl.” My hips jerked at the praise, my pussy instantly wetter.

I scrambled from my jeans, too eager to give him full access, and I undid his next, yanking them down his hips to reach inside his boxers as he found my pussy again.

His cock was rock hard, and it sprung free, my hand finding the head to brush along the sensitive skin. Jet’s eyes closed, and he sucked in a breath.

“Fuck, you touch me perfectly. Now, stroke it.”

I eagerly complied, sliding my hand down to the base of his cock and down over his balls to grip, massaging for a few moments before giving them a gentle tug. He hissed, his cock jumping in my hand, and I eased my way back up his length in a slow, tantalizing stroke, running my palm over the head before doing it all over again.

My own breaths were quick, Jet’s fingers never losing their focus between my legs. His thumb brushed my clit, and my pussy clenched as he hooked his fingers at the perfect spot, upping his pace as I ground down greedily on his hand.

“Oh, fuck,” I moaned after a few minutes, knowing I was close, and Jet leaned forward to suck at my neck, finding that spot below my ear to nip in a gentle bite.

I exploded. Stars bursting before my eyes, and I cried out, riding Jet’s fingers until the pleasure was just too much and I had to push him away.

Quickly pulling a condom from his pocket, Jet grabbed my hips to bring me forward, and I guided his cock to my core.

“Oh, fuck,” I murmured again, relishing in the feel of having him inside. I instantly started to move, grinding down on his lap hard and fast. Jet tucked his head in my neck again, sucking with that gentle pressure in that perfect spot while I gripped the seat behind him, using it for a brace, my hips wild and frantic, lost in everything that was between us. It was so much. So intense as I chased my next orgasm. “I just– I can’t–” I panted in frustration, almost there but not quite reaching, and Jet slipped his hand between my thighs to rub quick circles over my clit. “Yes!” I was so close, just seconds away. My pussy screaming for a release that wouldn’t quite come.

Jet bit down on the crook of my neck and shoulder, harder this time, the pressure just bordering pain, and I screamed, my orgasm shooting through me. I spasmed over his lap, and he groaned, holding on as long as he could. I was just coming down when he gripped my thighs, pulling me off his cock as he fell into a release of his own.

It took a moment before I processed what happened, and my brow furrowed as Jet dropped his head to my collar bone.

“Fuck, that was good.”

I nodded. But also, weird.

“Um, so why?” I hedged as Jet reached for a few napkins he kept in his glove box.

“Why?”

“Don’t do that, babe,” I said before crawling off his lap to pull on my clothes. “You know what I mean. You’ve never pulled out.” I felt weird somehow. Empty. Like I’d been robbed of the intimacy of our finish.

I didn’t like it.

Jet didn’t answer right away, a thoughtful look on his face as he cleaned up. “I got paranoid at the end.”

“Paranoid?”

He gave me a look. “If it could happen so easily to Izzy and Tucker…”

Oh…My own brow furrowed. “I don’t think we have the same thing to worry about. The chances are so low, babe. Between a condom and the pill. And theirs probably happened that time Tucker didn’t use one.”

“See. I know that. I do,” Jet stressed as he tucked himself back into his jeans. “But it was like it was a flashing warning in my head at the end. I’m sorry,” he added, reading from my face that it bothered me.

“Don’t be.” I shook my head. “It just surprised me. But honestly, I don’t like it. I missed the connection of you being in me when you finished. Except I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s probably just nothing. I’m sure it’ll pass.” He reached over to squeeze my hand.

We headed back home after that, and after ten minutes of kissing goodbye at the door, Jet finally let me say goodnight and head inside.

The house was quiet and calm, and I was relieved to not hear Izzy holed away in her studio again. I headed upstairs and peeked in Archer’s room, finding him lying on his stomach with his arm hanging off the bed, drool dripping out onto his pillow. I smiled, the sight both cracking me up and tugging at my heart.

I went to check on Izzy next and stopped in my tracks a few feet inside the room when I realized what she had in her hands.

“You had a sonogram?”

She looked up, a gentle smile on her face. “You want to see your niece?”

My niece?It took a moment to process before my eyes lit up. “It’s a girl?”

Izzy beamed, nodding. “Mom managed to get me an appointment today. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. My mood was just…and well, I wanted to feel happy when I got to share it with you.”

Any frustration I may have had dissipated with that, and I rushed over to lay beside her in bed, kicking off my shoes as I went. “Let me see. And I want you to tell me everything.”