Chapter 9

A round late-late afternoon, nearly time for dinner as something delicious smelling bubbled away on the stove and the aroma of freshly baked rolls permeated the room, Dorothy and I sat at her table brainstorming plausible ideas as to where to temporarily relocate me without drawing any undue attention or too many questions. The sharp, insistent knock that came rat-a-tatting at her door had me craning my neck to see, praying whoever it was they weren't there for me, eager to give me the third degree, and or about to make an ass of themselves over it.

"Rothy?" Gopher called out.

Dorothy glanced to me curiously when I stiffened in my seat but feigned interest in my tea. The puzzled look on her face turned into a frown at my reaction.

"Is that- Isn't that Gofur? Sounds like him. You're good friends, aren't you? Two peas in a pod, to hear Dougie tell it," she murmured absently as she stood and went to the door.

She barely had it open and Goph began talking a mile a minute. It took him two minutes of rambling to recall he was speaking in his native tongue, then he slipped into what sounded like French, I'd swear. Another moment and he shook his head and stopped himself, then finally switched to English. "Jo," was the only word that didn't mesh into all the others in his long, never ending, no periods in sight, stream of mashed together, one big long word mushed up sounding gibberish.

Dorothy, standing there, lips parted, mouth slightly agape at his speed talking, glanced from his anxious form and that never ending prattling, to me.

"Let him in, please?" I croaked out softly. Nerves hit me, worried about how this might all go down. I had that feeling of being on unsteady ground. I hated feeling that way with him. He'd been my security blanket for so long I was barely functioning without that hand up he'd eagerly offered me for so long. It was akin to getting my damn arm chopped off, it felt like.

Gopher shot in the second she had the door open all the way.

"Bia and Noyel haven't stopped by today if you're looking for them," she started to say, referring to his two best chums outside of me and Booger, but it wasn't necessary.

The second Gopher popped in, inhaling deeply as he went, his eyes had just started to close but then shot open at the breathless noise I made.

A weird sound I'd never heard him make before left him as his eyes shot open, blue gone until chips of glass as black as night fixed on me.

He was across the room before I could blink, jerking my chair out to scoop me up, take the seat for himself with me in his arms, to curl me close. Hugging me to him while his hands checked me over everywhere, like he just had to be sure, his throat worked and mumbled grumblings in a language I didn't understand left him. I could make out, okay, and safe, amongst his garblings, but that was about it.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"No find. Smell. Bum-bum mark Jo hut. No Jo. No Bum. Go. Look. Find. Ask for Jo. No find. Berkr say Jo sick, fall, at Rothy's." His voice kept cutting off and he was rocking a little.

Slipping my arms around his waist, resting my head on his wide shoulder, I hugged him back as he busied himself snuffling my hair. "I'm fine. It's okay."

A pained noise left him.

Glancing up, meeting Dorothy's stunned gaze as she eyeballed us curiously, I swallowed thickly and quietly asked for tea.

The second she left the room, I sat up, gripped that self-guilt-trippin' male by the short hairs on his chin, and jerked him down to me. "You didn't hurt me," I whispered, "okay?"

I waited until he nodded to correct myself. "Not physically." Biting at the inside of my cheek, gaze darting away, I quietly admitted, "You leaving me like that and disappearing, acting like it was all wrong, that's what hurt me."

Letting go of his chin scruff, I buried myself back against him. "Don't do it again."

Giving him a squeeze, I smiled as I nuzzled a pec and a soft rumble left him. I was just fucking happy to have him here and not acting a fool. "I mean it. Don't do it again," I muttered darkly, then smoothed my hand down his lower back, lower then, and pinched one of those little, furry, round sourdough rolls he calls a butt cheek.

Gopher yelped but then purred, the sound stuttering in his chest.

Dorothy came in, because perfect timing, lady, making more noise than usual. Her gaze caught and held on the bracelet on my wrist as I lifted my hands higher, settling them on his upper back.

Her smile grew to a thousand watts as she eyed us. "My, what a pretty trinket. Where did you get it?"

"Thanks. Gopher gave it to me," I said simply, turning and lifting it up for her to see. "It's a best friends bracelet."

A sputtering noise left the woman. My face flushed red at that but I held her stare evenly, not once breaking as she eyed me and the male practically wrapped around me.

Clearing her throat several times, tamping down the twitch of her lips, she said, "A best friends bracelet, you say?" The look she was giving me said she didn't believe that for a minute but she was happy to leave me to my delusions.

Gopher let out a rumbling noise that startled the matriarch, but she laughed. "I knew you back when your parents were weekly visitors for trading, back when you were in diapers. Don't you go muffle-growling at me, boy!" she warned him.

Gopher mumbled an apology but it was half assed at best.

When I glanced between them curiously, Dorothy grinned. It was a proud look. "His mother and her mates live a fair distance from us, but they used to come to market to trade often enough the boys all got to play. It was nice. Very nice family."

Gopher squirmed in his seat. I'd glance up at him to see what all that was about but his arms tightened around me.

"Krampusnauchtt," he cut in on the embarrassing to him reminiscing.

"Berkr told you, I take it?" she asked, cutting the crap, all traces of humor leaving her.

What happened to keeping that shit on the down-low?

Gopher shook his head. "Bum-bum," he said simply.

"Joanie said he was out scouting for them," she filled him in, gesturing at me vaguely. "The Watchers believe they have her marked for the hunt." There was something in her eyes when Gopher growled and latched onto me harder. "She needs a place to stay in the meantime…" She tossed it out there so casually.

"I was thinking of asking Booger to bunk with him for a bit or-" I'd started to say, to be cut off shortly.

"Mine," Gopher grunted out, before his love-me-and-run-off-leaving-me-like-he'd-broken-me-ass could possibly think better of it.

"Or not," I muttered with a shrug, trying to see Dorothy's amused face around Gopher's furry arm wrapped around me.

"It wouldn't be wise to take her back to her hut." Dorothy gave Gopher a long look. "Or the other unmated's huts. They're too close to hers. It's not safe."

"Jo stay Gofur," Gopher grunted out.

A spark of hope lit within me, but too many life lessons learned had me tamping that shit down, hard, real quick. "You're okay with that?" I asked, wriggling to glance up at him, gently pinned down as I was.

I could struggle or demand he let me up. I was pretty sure he'd let me go but I didn't honestly want to find out. The fool did realize he was all but claiming me in front of Dorothy, which might as well be in front of everyone?

"Jo stay Gofur," he repeated, just as firmly as before.

Pursing my lips to pinch in the smile threatening to burst free, I shrugged nonchalantly and tossed out casually as I fingered the gems dangling from my wrist, "I mean… if you really want me to… You know, if you insist or whatever."

"Go' sist," he rumbled out grumpily.

My smile broke loose then, hurting my face as it did so.

Not even the cat that got the canary look on Dorothy's face could dampen my happiness. She could take credit for putting this all together all she liked. What was it to me? I got my Gopher and that was all that mattered.

He insisted. He wanted me with him. He wanted to help keep me safe.

Was it silly to let such a tiny thing give me a buttload of hope? Maybe. I couldn't help it, though.

He'd come for me, had openly declared I was his, and was as we speak demanding I go stay in his hut with him.

Thinking of the mark on my neck, all I needed was a mating pelt and I was as good as claimed by his ass. I practically had a real, gen-u-ine mate!

"I dunno," I mumbled, like I needed to think about it. "Will there be cookies?" I asked in feigned indifference.

"Yes," he grumbled out, the displeased noise rumbling from him, vibrating my back, had me grinning like a loon, glad he couldn't see it.

Dorothy, watching the byplay, quickly hopped up and turned away, busying herself as if something behind her suddenly needed a heaping of dusting.

"Tea?" I pressed.

"Yes," he growled out a little louder, longer.

"Snuggles?" I lowered my voice to whisper very softly the second Dorothy left the room with suspiciously shaking shoulders and funny noises leaving her.

"Yesss," he'd started to say, a choked noise replacing what would have been his empathic reply. "Jo," he garbled out, sounding uneasy.

Was it because I'd asked for cuddles? Because I'd said it at his childhood friends' house, or…?

My hopes started to feel dashed, that weird, sinking feeling of despair rushing in on me, when Gopher paused in his start-stop garbled faltering and leaned in. One deep sniff of the top of my head and he groaned, sounding like I'd just hurt him.

"My Jo," he murmured softly.

Forcing me to face him, adjusting me in his lap despite my protests to accomplish the feat, the male had my chin cupped in his surprisingly strong hands, forcing me to meet that pretty, beryl blue gaze. That blue to black thing, it was like the switch flipped on as easily as it switched off.

Hard as I tried, I was too emotional, in pain, and fucking tired, emotionally and physically, to put up a believable front. "A girl needs her snuggles," I croaked out, hating the way my voice broke on the words. I'm a strong, independent woman that doesn't need a man. But… I wanted this beastly guy something awful.

"Jo." My name left his lips on a soft exhalation.

The ball was in Gopher's court, his lips so close he only needed to close the short distance between us to get this shit rolling.

My heart lurched when his breath coasted over my face, my eyes started to slip closed, there was a tentative brush of his lips, barely touching mine but sending my nerves into a riot as if he'd landed a whopper on me, for the hot and cold beast to stall out on making something good out of this thing. My hooded gaze fell, slipping into wide-eyed worry. That anticipation slipped into anxiety, threatening to kill the moment entirely.

The longer we sat there in this strange stalemate of sorts, his telling pauses cracking that shriveled lump in my chest, the taller those walls I'd been trying my damnedest not to put back up between us, give his furry arse a chance, grew. I knew it wasn't me, much as I felt like it was in the heat of the moment, before I'd had time to process what all was going on.

He was scared, worried he might hurt me. That much was obvious, whatever the cause. But I trusted Gopher. Trusted him with this stupid lump in my chest beating wildly for him he was sending fissures splintering through.

"You bail on kissing me, Gogo boots, I'm going to kick your ass-" I muttered.

Goph chose that moment to push back the apprehension swimming in those big old chunks of icy white-blue gazing down at me like I'd hung the damn moon and just went for it. I'd barely finished speaking and his lips descended. The soft, chuffing huff that puffed out over my face as our kiss ended had my lips curving softly.

A purr of a rumble erupted from my standoffish lover, mate, whatever sort of label one could put on it. Was I his mate, truly? I'd yet to receive a pelt from him and I knew for a fact that was a big part of this whole wed to the big fuzzies mating sitch. Did some skip the mate-pelt-ing process? Could I just go ahead and say we were mates? Was that allowed?

My hand lifted, cupping his furry cheek. I smoothed my fingers up higher, burying in soft tufts of head fur, gently urging him back down to me when he yet again hesitated to initiate a kiss. " Lots of snuggles," I murmured against his lips.

The rumble he let loose at that as he captured my lips once more, to immediately deepen our liplock, had goose flesh breaking out all over.

Fuck. We were really gonna do this. He was really kissing me, going for it, out in the open.

Lost to the moment, to him, my right hand slid up his chest, loosely wrapping around his neck but not tight enough he couldn't break away. The last thing I wanted was him feeling like he couldn't pull away, and possibly injuring me or himself in the process.

My tongue darted out, cautiously seeking entry.

Gopher's grip tightened on me, until he was nearly crushing me to him. A deep, needy noise left him as he tried to suck my tongue deeper into his mouth.

"Wait," I blurted as I broke our kiss, wriggling in his lap to put a wee bit of space between us. "This isn't the place to-"

The growl Gopher let loose, burying a hand in my hair to jerk me back to him, stole my breath and the rest of that damn sentence right from me.

I'd started to protest, to push a little, I'll swear to this, but quickly gave in. The sounds he was making… holy smokes.

This was absolutely not the place for this, though!

The hand at my back, wrapped around me tight, slid lower. A yelp escaped me as he gripped my hip and my injuries protested. A sharp gasp and a wince followed as he surged forward, misreading my involuntary jerk away from him, and his fangs nipped my lip.

The second I tasted blood on my mouth, Gopher jerked back.

Sporting that pupils-blown-out, glazed over, lust hazed look, he shook his head and licked his lips. At that first taste of blood, he snapped out of it, eyes slipping from black to blue in a snap.

Dabbing at my lip, my fingers coming away red, I rushed to reassure him, "Just a little nick, bub, but let's try and leave my lip on my face, huh?"

Meaning it as a joke, I smiled, trying to show him I was perfectly fine, if a little disappointed we had to end things so abruptly. Admittedly, I kinda liked the rough and tumble side of him. Maybe not lip nicks or whatever, but we could work on that.

I'm all yours, buddy, I wanted to tell him. I got the impression, as his face started to pale, gaze fixed on my lip, and his eyes slipped to an even paler shade of that wild blue, my shy lover was having an internal freak out.

"It's okay," I murmured softly, going so far as to reach out to pet him comfortingly.

My hand jerked back when he flinched, noting too late my hand was headed towards his face. Hand frozen in midair, I gaped at him. Did he think I was going to legit hit him?

"Go'… go," he blurted, skin flushing a funny color at the gaping shock on my face, nabbing me up and standing to practically throw me into my seat.

"Wait. What?!" I barked, stumbling where I stood. All set to rush after him, I got two steps before my hip started screaming and my leg buckled. My side slammed into the table, my right knee the chair.

Dorothy's mates had the worst timing ever, throwing the door open to come rushing in, all taking at once to each other, sending Gopher bouncing off of the walls of thick beast man chest as he desperately scrambled to get away from me.

"Ey!" a male I believed was called Heckes called after Gopher. He got a good look at me struggling to right myself on the floor and Gopher scrambling to escape, and grabbed my male by his scruff.

Griever was quick on his feet, dodging Gopher's swinging legs and arms as he snarled and went wild, Heckes growling right back at him all the while, coming to my aid.

Lukar and a mess of other males— her sons and possibly brothers and cousins-in-law, I assumed, I had no clue, there were too many of them to keep track of Dorothy's insanely large family— attempted to file in behind the initial group.

"Now, what in the world is going on out here?" Dorothy called out. "Leave ‘em be for a whole minute, try and let ‘em work it out for themselves, all hell breaks loose!"

"Let him go," I said quietly, jerking my chin at Gopher as I met Heckes' disapproving gaze.

Heckes made a noise that sounded like he wanted to argue but Griever and Lukar all growled something at their brother that had him letting go of his hold on Gopher.

My gaze never left Gopher's retreating form as several of the males stuck outside and still waiting to be let in called out to him, presumably asking him in their language where he was off to in an all fired hurry.

Away from me, because apparently I suck as a girlfriend.

Soon I was surrounded by a sea of towering fuzzballs, each with varying expressions on their faces, mostly curious, frowny disapproval possibly aimed at me, maybe at Gopher, I didn't know or care at the moment, more than a few baffled, and one or two that were a bit too perfectly neutral.

"Thanks," I murmured quietly as I was assisted back into my seat. With a smirk and put on, everything is fine so fuck off face, I joked, "I totally meant to do that."

"What do?" a male that was definitely not one of Dorothy's mates inquired, coming up on me to take the seat closest to me.

He had pretty blue-grey eyes like one of Dorothy's males, a little bit of a hooked nose, a short but wild mane of fur atop his head, and looked oddly familiar. Huh. But didn't they all look oddly familiar? The familial resemblance from beast to beast was really throwing me off.

Our gazes met and held for so long it probably looked weird. I felt, I don't know, like I really knew him from somewhere… It was like a niggling in the back of my mind but I couldn't place him. I could know him from anywhere, to be honest. The handful of hunters Boog's introduced me to, the masonry type guys Gopher chats with a lot on market days. Maybe it was simply his resemblance to one of Dorothy's mates throwing me for a loop.

"Hurt?" he asked, blue-grey gaze darkening along with the scowl slowly overtaking his features, eyeing me from head to toe for injury.

Was I in the presence of another overprotective teddy bear of a male, like Dorothy's mates, or was he showing peeks of interest?

My eyes widened for all of two seconds, the urge to lean away from him as he settled his thick forearms onto even thicker thighs and slid forward riding me hard. But Joanie did not show weakness to strangers, not if I could avoid it.

"Back up, wouldja, Bobo? You're invading my personal space, fuzzykins." I wasn't trying to be the rude guest, I appreciated everything Dorothy and her mates were doing for me, but having another curious fuzzball quick-attached to me was not on the top of my to-do list. I had enough problems. Surely she understood this by now, having lived with these furry Neanderthals for forever and a day. Give them an inch and they'll drag you kicking and screaming to the altar. Or was she one of those crazies that liked that kinda kinky shit?

Sliding my gaze her way, I had to suck my lips into my mouth, fighting not to laugh as I spied one of her males leaning in as if to press a kiss to her cheek, to grab her up and pretend to bite at her throat until she was laughing, red faced, her slaps at him useless as she giggled her ass off and insisted he quit. Oh, she was so a drag her off kinda slag. Doro, you dirty bitch.

I liked her even more for it.

"Jes, boobo! Hears the female! Backs up!" Bread whizzed by, smacking the nosy newt square in the face.

A snarl left "Bobo" that had my hair standing on end. Food fights were so not his deal.

Before I realized what I was doing, I'd leaned away from him without thought. Food fights weren't my deal either, and neither was that snarling in my face business. "Down, Cujo," I muttered under my breath without thought, so low I hoped my slip went unheard.

"What cooed-jo?" another male that was not a mate of Dorothy's, that I was aware of, crowding in on my right, loudly demanded to know.

Her enormous dining room table had gone from empty to extended, all Knights of the Realm present stuffed to the gills.

"Eh, Kooky?" a third instigator teased.

Kooky, aka Bobo Newt the nosy, grunted and turned his body instead of facing me dead on, giving the thick maned male teasing him a long, measuring look. Grumbling something at him in Lo denaii, the male taunting him made a meek noise at whatever Kooky had just quietly rumbled at him and quickly dropped his gaze.

Taking a piece of bread as it was offered, a large basket of it, rolls as fat as my head being passed around, I tore off a piece from the smaller loaf I'd nabbed, telling Kooky quietly, "Now that, that's something I've gotta learn. A few short words and you've got ‘em by the short hairs. It's a talent."

My words were meant to compliment, but in a jokey, friendly way, not an I wanna add you to my mountain of bologna come-on.

"Kooky mean," the male to my right spoke up, baring his teeth at Kooky. "Bad male. No want."

"Bah!" the male beside Mr. Butt-Right-In chided Butt-In. "No know bad male. Joo bad male. Pfft. Wide mouth."

When Kooky bared his teeth back at Butt-In, Butt-In not knowing which way to snarl as it came at him from both sides, I was chomping at the bit to ask if Kooky was Mr. Grumpypants' actual name or some sort of kooky insult. I'd be Kooky-ing everyone on my shit list ‘til the cows came home if it was some sort of Lo denaii insult— their word for jackass, dick, or asshole, maybe?

"No beed jelly, Oogi," a male down towards the end of the table near Dorothy and her mates called out.

"Not Oogi," the suddenly grumpy Oogi gritted out. "Doh-ghee."

"Dough-gee?" I blurted on a sputtering laugh, before I could stop myself. THAT was somehow better than Oogi? My hand clapped to my mouth and I tried with all my strength to muffle the snort that slipped free, unbidden, but it was too late.

"Why Gofur leave Bad Jo?" The look Dough-ghee gave me, a taunting snicker leaving him, made me feel about two inches tall.

Eyes narrowing, glancing around to doublecheck all remaining parties further down, namely hosts and hostess, were otherwise occupied, I leaned close to Dough-ghee and bit out, "I dunno, Oogi. Maybe he saw your fugly face or smelled you and it scared him off."

Dough-ghee's snickering smirk fell, mouth fish-gaping for what felt like a full minute as the males closest to him, overhearing, laughed at his expense.

"You fugged-lee! Jo smells!" Oogi, as I've decided to forever call him, shot up in his seat, to jerk his finger at my person and shout at me.

"Douglas LuGreHckMo!" Dorothy bellowed above the din as chaos, utter chaos, broke out.

LuGreHckMo? It took me a moment to puzzle that one out as she read her manchild of a son the riot act.

English and Lo denaii mixed as Dorothy demanded to know what on Earth was going on on our end of the table and everyone, save me, jumped in to tell their side of it.

Feeling like an asshole for ruining what was looking like a promising family dinner, I mumbled something about excusing myself and made to stand. I got two hobbling steps before several sets of thick mitts shot out, each offering a gal a literal hand up.

"I'm slow but I've got it," I stubbornly insisted, eschewing any and all help.

The room fell silent, giving me that bug under the microscope feeling as they all watched and waited, fidgeting to help but not wanting to butt in when I didn't want it as I waddled across the room. Waving their concern away, I forced a smile that didn't reach my eyes. "Pretend I'm not even here." For the love of god, please do! "Who knew a trip to the ladies' room could be so noteworthy," I snarked. The few pity chuckles I got in response had me snorting softly at that nonsense.

I didn't want or need a savior. Heaven knew if ever that was gonna happen, it would be me saving my own ass.

One near slip as I shuffled my way closer to my destination had a bone chilling growl from somewhere off behind me issuing. It was so loud in the silence choking their dinner meetup I jumped, put too much weight on my foot, and started to go titties up.

Ridiculously warm, furry hands caught me, then scooped me up into thickly muscled arms. They weren't bodybuilder thickly built like some of the other Lo denaii, like Mina's Veck, but more so well-built, solid but not overdone, and too damn fast for their own good.

"I so could have made it all by myself," I harrumphed, scowling at my rescuer to realize Kooky had come to my rescue. Aww. My Kooky rescuer. Har-har.

Kooky grunted in answer, fur lined lips twitching as he toted my ass into the guest bedroom.

"Smirk, I dare ya, and I'll smack you into applesauce, Kookypants," I warned him, getting a snorted laugh in return and even twitchier lips.

My eyes widened and I started to protest when he bent to open the bathroom door, looking like he meant to follow me inside. "My god, I can get it from here, Nurse Ratchet!" I barked at him as I began to squirm in his arms.

He paused, staring down at me for the longest moment. I'd swear he was looking for something, or waiting for me to, I dunno, say or do something.

"If you think this is the part of the story where the heroine falls madly in love with the hero for taking her to go potty in her hour of need, honey, lemme tell ya right now, I ain't the heroine of any piece, not even my own, I'm sorry to inform ya, I have no desire to have a man clinging to me like y'all do, demanding babies and breakfast and clean undies and whatnot, it just ain't gonna happen. And any thing that does occur, should it all go down some fantastical, magical bullshit happily ever after kinda way? Won't be on anyone's schedule but mine, and one pee break hand up is not that moment."

His head cocked to the side as he eyed me. Was I as alien to him as he was to me?

"Too much slang?" I guessed with a shrug as he started to slowly set me on my feet. When he straightened and would have turned to leave without another word, the guilt started to pour in. I was being a dick, a total douche in my canoe, and he's been nothing but nice to me.

"Look, it's not you, it's me. Okay? I've got issues and there are not enough tissues. I mean, did you see the way Gogo boots skedaddled away from me, hmm? Like the mudder fricker's ass was on fire. That's all me, bub. You don't wanna saddle yourself up with some o' this."

Pausing at the door, gripping the jamb, he cocked his head in a weird, hawk-like manner.

"None of you are going to, like, string him up by his toes, Lo denaii wedgie him, or give him a hard time or anything like that, right?" I asked, fidgeting where I stood, holding onto the wall for balance. Scowling at the back of his head when he let out a non-committal grunt, I let out a Lo denaii sounding grumble. "Anybody messes with him, they're messing with me. It's not his fault. And he's mine."

This had the male turning to face me, an unreadable look on his harsh features. There was something inherently wild looking to him, like he bathed in the river, slept under the stars, and hand fished in the stream. Wait!! Damn, that's where I knew him from! Hand fishing in the stream guy! THE Nosy Newt. I knew he looked familiar!

When he just stared down at me, examining my face in a weirdly detached way that was just shy of giving me the creeps, I felt the need to defend my timid lover. "He gets all…" My hand lifted to wave around my face, even as I questioned, why him, why this male? Why did Kookypants make me want to blurt my guts out to him, spill all my stupid secrets? "You know, like, uh, lost in the moment." Yeah, because that didn't sound like a fucking stupid, shite excuse. They're beast men, dummy. "His eyes get all blacked out and stuff and he like, you know, his merawr gets all RAWR. I mean, I'm cool with it, don't yuck my yum, but I think it freaks him out." My god, why am I divulging all of this to him? What if instead of understanding Gopher, he ridicules him or labels him bad or some shit?

Being called bad does a number on Rek. Lord only knows why the asshole thinks it's okay to pass that shit onto me.

Thick, fluffy caterpillars for eyebrows shot up, then came jerking back down, to kiss into a megabrow of a frown. "Lhorstavorskrhut," he rumbled out thoughtfully, his voice soft and low.

He sounded so much like Mystery Mate then, though maybe not as purr-rumbly-sexy and deeply growled out yet soft, I stared up at him for a long moment unblinkingly.

Could it be?

Pfft. No. No way. Why not just announce himself? I mean, I've already got his bite and insanely fluffy mating pelt. Why go to all the subterfuge? If I'm yours, make me fucking yours! What part of that do these fuzz faces not understand?!

"Whats lorry-starves-savors-yogurt or whatever?" My hand lifted in a halfhearted wave. "Is that like a place or a thing?" I wondered aloud.

"Pee," he grunted out.

"It's pee?" Well, now didn't I feel stupid.

"Pee," he repeated, grunting and pointing.

"Toddlers do that too, ya know," I pointed out, to a hand gently pressing to my face to urge me all the way into the bathroom.

When he'd cleared me for the door, he began to scoot back. That blue-grey gaze never left mind as I glared at him through the peeks in his fingers.

When his hand finally lifted, I just stood there and stared, ready to let loose on him and his manhandling shenanigans, I'll pee when I damn well please, thank you very much. I took one step towards him, mouth opening, ready to let loose on him, but he reached in, ignoring my screech as he moved fast, nudging me hard enough to make me plop down onto that clay red looking throne, clothes and all, to shut the bathroom door behind him.

"Bossy... pushy ass! I'm not afraid of you, mister!" I shouted after him as I struggled to dethrone. Smooth, Joans. Super smooth. Good god, I'm lame sometimes. In my defense, my brain was pudding. The sharp bark of laughter that proceeded my stupidity from the other side of the door was like the icing on the embarrass the fuck out of me cake.

Getting situated on the commode for real this time, I muttered as I cupped my chin in my hands, "Fuck my life."