Chapter 6

M y mood had yet to improve as the week wore on.

Rek and Gopher were in timeouts, I surmised. I'd yet to come face to face with either one after their blow up.

The more time that passed since the incident without any contact from either party, the more I worried. The more worried I grew, the guiltier I felt.

Dread filled me as I girded my loins and set off for the glorified Yeti hall monitor's hut on the outskirts of the village.

Berkr was not the most friendly fella, but I needed to know.

He knew he had company before I'd even lifted my hand to knock.

"What want?" Berkr grumbled in his broody, straightlaced, uptight, butthole pinched inward, super fun way as his front door shot open.

No use beating around the bush, right? "What did you do with Rek and Gopher?"

Berkr's soft grey and black mixed eyebrows shot up. He had striped patches all over him that made me think he looked more like a skunk. I'd taken to calling him Le Peugh/PU in my head. His attitude stunk. The moniker fit.

"Who say Berkr do any things?" he countered with an arch look. The male was a right pain in my ass. King nag over here. We'd had more than a few dust ups since I'd come waltzing into town.

"Listen, Pepé, I don't wanna go rounds with you but I will if I have to. I just want to know that Rektal and my best buddy are okay, that you didn't get sick of their shit and chop them up into teeny tiny little pieces and feed them to the carnivorous plants you're so fond of." There. Was that leveling with him enough?

The super-sized, fun police killer scowled down at me. "Berkr," he grunted out, jabbing himself in the chest with the thick knife in his hand he looked to have been sharpening.

"Me Joanie, you Tarzan. Yup. Got it. My friends, Burkednerd?"

Lifting the knife, he scratched at his temple. "Bad Jo know how say Berkr name," he grumbled out in only the stiff, curt, disinterested way his annoying ass could.

"Whatever rustles your salad, Yeti-Rambo," I quipped, glancing around curiously for any clues as to my beasties whereabouts.

Studying me, his gaze following mine as I had myself a little look-see from his front step, he stilled, stiffening, like he was waiting for something.

"You don't know anything," I bluffed, shrugging my shoulders and spinning around to trot off elsewhere for info. "I'll just go ask Veck. He knows everything."

A small smile he couldn't see with my back to him tipped my lips as he let out a disgruntled noise.

"Berkr know! Berkr have say!" he barked after me.

"Of course you do, you large and in charge, oversized barge!" I tossed out over my shoulder with an overly friendly wave.

"Veck no know! Rek with Kirch on hunt! Gopher go hims familedlees."

Pausing, I slowly turned on my heel. All smiles, I clapped my hands. "Thanks, Pepé! You're the beast's knees!"

Realizing he'd just been played, Berkr opened his mouth to make some witty comeback but it looked like someone was struggling not to swallow their tongue. "All beast haves knees!" he finally shouted after me.

"Ain't that the truth!" I laughingly called back, hoping I sounded as obtuse as he did.

"Berkr not Pee-pee!" His voice was garbled in a growl. I'd gotten under someone's skin.

"Peh-pay, Pee-pee!" I just had to keep going. I was crazy like that.

"You- Bad Jo no say them things!" he blustered, flustered, after me.

"You should have a talk with them! Lay down that law!" Laughter rang clear in my voice.

"NOTS FUNNIES!" he bellowed after me.

My cackling was answer enough.

Man, this was the good stuff.

I was going to have to avoid him like the plague for a while, at least until he cooled his hot headed ass off, but, eh, totally worth it.

Rek and Gopher were okay. I could breathe a little easier.

I pushed buttons and shit to see how far a being would allow things to go with me, test their resolve to have me around, but I lived with a very real fear of someone I cared about pulling a massive Joanie and taking things too far and finding their furry rumps exiled.

I had no clue if that was even a thing around here and I knew better than to ask. Show a weakness, it'll be used against you. The brat pack, Veck, Berkr, and to an extent Bum-bum, I'm sure they'd just love to let that fear hang over my head if it meant keeping me in line. This line of thinking brought up memories of my childhood, which gave me that queasy feeling in my stomach.

Nope. Not going that route again.

As far as everyone knew I was Joanie, Glamazon, Queen of Fabulousness. I didn't waste my nonsense on what ifs and worries. I was infallible. I gave zero shits. Hear me roar.

As if fears and worries were on the list today, I'd swear I caught a peek of something in the woods on my peripherals, there and then not. My hackles rose as the feeling of being watched, the paranoia of what if, pervaded.

When before I'd have trailed along the river's edge all the way back to my place, I chose to detour and weave through huts. It took twice as long and I risked getting stopped and dragged into some such silliness or another I didn't wanna be a part of, but I didn't feel like there was a creeper in the wings, watching, waiting, going the long way.

???

A s if fate was set to have a laugh at me, true to my concerns with taking the longer way, I bumped into none other than Cottontail herself.

"Oh, hey!" the resident chipper chirper called out.

Lifting my hand in a wave, I'd have kept going if her little munchkins hadn't caught sight of me and started calling out for me to come play with them.

"MOJO!" her gang of crotch goblins squeaked out to me.

Grinning, I had to mentally shrug as I made my way over. "Oh my gosh! I haven't seen you in forever! It's like you've all grown an inch each!" I insisted as I was smothered with furry Lo denaii baby hybrid hugs.

"You sawed us de udder day!" Homer chortlingly argued.

"I did?" I gasped out, playing dumb, pretending I had to think about it. The kiddos laughed at my overdone silliness, tugging me towards their hut to come see this thing or that.

Daisy clapped her hands as she trailed after us, babbling about how I had perfect timing and I should just stay for lunch.

"I could eat lunch," I agreed with a shrug, then winced as a screech of "YAY!"s threatened to make my ears bleed.

Now, what I could not agree with, I amended as I scooted my chair a little farther away from the Lo denaii scooting his chair a little closer to me, so close now our butts were practically touching, was THIS. Whatever the hell this shit was supposed to be.

"You did this on purpose," I baldly accused, glaring daggers at our flustered hostess.

Traitor, I mouthed at Righty. Righty made himself busy cutting up one of his little one's meat. Traitor McTraitor Pants!

"Eat," Odix urged me, nudging my plate. Someone was looking pleased as punch to be having lunch butt cheek to butt cheek pressed up against Poop girl. Kill me now.

"Mind your business," I told the overbearing lug thinking he had some kind of authority over me.

Odix gave me what I assumed he must think was a thunderous look. Lifting the knife I was using to cut up the meat on my plate, my grip on this wonderfully multi use tool tightened.

"I made cake!" Daisy chirped, gaze darting between us worriedly. "Who doesn't love cake?"

"We like cake," Odix was quick to chime in.

For the love of all that is- "He, himself, and his delusions love it, apparently," I chirped in an overdone imitation of our hostess.

"No want cake? Who no' wants cakes?" The biggun of a male looked appalled at the thought that I might not.

"Feel free to eat mine, Oti. Have at it." Going to stand, I gave his shoulder a there-there pat and would have pushed my chair out but it appeared to be stuck. Lovely. Just… lovely.

Cake was served while I tried to figure out what the hell was clamping my chair in place. A soft round of poorly muffled giggles from Daisy's kiddies' table had me look up sharply to find where Odix had been swapping his foot hooking on my chair for his hand.

Pretending I hadn't yet noticed, I seethed on the inside. It occurred to me belatedly, how hypocritical it was of me to be pissed in situations like this and yet when it's a literal, Grr-me-male-you-mine, in a literal sense, like with Mr Mystery Yeti —but most definitely not like scary demon that needs a cheeseburger who may or may not wanna kill me, because NO— I found myself taken in.

Rek… was the exception to any and all rules. I wanted to be one hundred percent equals, soul mates kinda shit. I also wanted to strangle him, give him the kiss of life to bring him back, smooch him to death, then strangle him to death to bring him back and do it all over again.

Was I subconsciously looking for the next best thing?

Not this thing, I thought to myself as Odix grabbed up a piece of cake that was basically half of it, with his bare hands while Daisy eeped and gaped, to tear it in half and slap one chunk into my hand.

What… the fuck? My hand lifted and I gently placed my cake chunk on top of his head, making sure to gently mush it in. "Whoopsie," I whispered, cringing internally as Daisy's brood began to softly hoot and giggle hysterically. Damage control was in my future. Serious damage control. Though, to be fair to me, Lil Miss Sunshine knew better than to ambush me like this.

Bad Jo, indeed.

Eyeing him as he blinked, staring at me like he was wondering if this was some form of deranged I love you in crazy girl speak, his gaze never left mine as he slowly lifted the hunk of cake in his hands and took a huge bite. Like he wasn't wearing a cake chunk hat, the oversized ball of fluff then held that glob in his hand out to me.

Slapping my hand down into his, making sure to grind the cake in there real good, I leaned in to whisper, "What do you say you and I get outta here, find some fun of our own?"

The thickly built Lo denaii gulped, the sound loud as others strained to overhear us.

"Poop- Uh… J-Jo- Want- Want leave with Odix?" he garbled out.

Smiling sweetly, too sweetly, I nodded. "Mm-hm. Whaddaya say?"

Odi-Os was determined, if starting to look a lil nervous. He wanted him some of this, did he not?

Rummaging through my bag for a wet wipe or something, I paused on a notable, small Tupperware container. I'd say that might be kinda mean but… He wasn't about to let this, his idea of us being an us, go, despite the reservations I'd guess he was having about us from the hesitant look on his face.

It was oddly sweet, in a misguided, I don't fucking think so, hon , sort of way.

His kinda kooky called for some crazy only the village Poop girl could dish out. "Wanna get outta here and have some fun… Odix?" Making the words purr, I cackled inwardly, noting the sheen of sweat starting to form on his pronounced brow.

"Want- Want go- Want go with Od-d-d-dix?" he stumblingly repeated.

"Yep." Using this as an opportunity to stand, I forced my chair back and jerked him where my hand still held his.

He reminded me of a little kid who'd had too much fun at a birthday party and wasn't sure if he wanted to leave just yet.

With a put on pout, I stressed, "You do want to come play with me, don't you?"

"Odix- Ah- Odix- Uhm- Odix-"

"Oh, goody!" I cooed, jerking him along as I called out good-byes to everyone.

Allowing me to lead him along, though he looked like he wanted to balk and run for the hills, this was my chance. We looked ridiculous, my tiny ass in comparison to his bulldozer build. It was like an ant leading a mountain. Yet he allowed me to tote him along, all the same. We weren't even going to get into the cake hat and coated fingers, though that gave me yet another idea.

As we hit the meadow and I kept going, headed for a thicket that I'd heard a Lo denaii or two enjoyed whisking their mate off to for some water fun, I was also painfully aware of just what lay beyond that.

"Here we are!" I announced as we stood between pools of bubbling water and a large field full of patties— and not the kind you plop onto a hamburger bun and chow down with a side of fries.

Odix's questioning gaze slid from trepidation, like he was worried I might try and ravage him or something, maybe murder him out in the woods, I had no idea, and the animals lazily grazing around their "deposits", to utter confusion.

"Well, what are you waiting for? You said you don't mind being with Poop girl! Let's go! This is prime pickings!" I had to look away as I waded through, well, big old flops of dung, rummaging in my purse with my clean hand for that small container to pop the lid off.

His face. I'd be dying laughing about it later. I couldn't have shocked the male any more than he was if I'd tried.

Or perhaps, I wondered, eyeing the water shortly, I could?

Bending as if to pick up a morsel of a big old steamy butt nugget, my swap in my hand, I lifted up the swapped out fake poop, waving it about, then popped it into my mouth to make yummy-nummy noises as I chewed.

"Come on, you've gotta try it!" I called out as he tried to find the words but they came out shocked splutters.

Doing this a few more times, I found a dry dung chip and picked it up. Squealing inwardly, I kept telling myself this had to be done.

"Here!" I told him as I passed him, headed for a bubbly pool. "Found a juicy one just for you!"

Odi-Os was looking a little green around the gills as I dumped my things and kicked out of my shoes. My coat, hoodie, and sweatshirt were quickly dispensed of.

I stand corrected, I thought, as Odix hastily dropped the chip I'd eagerly slapped into his hand as I passed him to gape anew at the crazy lady disrobing in front of him.

"C'mon, cake baby, don't you wanna wash up with me?!" Down to my underthings, freezing my tits off, I smiled invitingly, praying this didn't backfire on me gloriously whilst trying to ignore the idea of just how pissed Rek was going to be if he ever found out about this.

Going at him at a run, I was expecting him to panic and run away, not jump like he'd been goosed, holler like a lumberjack, stumble backwards, before finally doing a backwards cannonball into the water.

Not sure if he knew how to swim, I quickly jumped in after him, grabbing him to me tight to jerk him back to the surface with me. "It's okay! It's okay!" I kept saying, dragging him to the edge.

"No ‘kay!" he garbled out, digging his claws into the side of the edge of the natural bubbly pool spring thing as I kicked my legs to stay afloat next to him.

Brushing the long, furry mop he called hair out of his face, picking out cake bits as I went, I smiled reassuringly when he spluttered and gasped unintelligibly.

"Look, cake boy, it's you and me," my eyebrows waggled as I moved in closer, urging him towards the shallow end, "and we're all wet."

"Odix- Odix- Jo- Jo-"

"Yes, cake boy?" I whispered, wondering what it was going to take to get him to eff off on this get the Poop girl front all together.

Forgive me, Rek! My hand dipped and I cracked it across a prime hunk of cake, as hard as I could under the water. "Kiss me, lover!" I cried out, puckering up and throwing myself at him.

"Ack!" Odix jerked back, slamming into the rim of the pool behind him, putting him at ease of escape territory, should he wish to. Please wish to, damn it. I wasn't exactly comfortable with taking things any farther than this.

Flopping forward, I slipped beneath the water. I would have shot back up but a furry lug with huge mitts scrambled for my hair, fisted it in his ham-hands, and jerked me back up so fast and hard I cried out.

"Oh, yeah, cake baby. Harder!" I moaned, thrusting my chest out.

Odix dropped me like a hot potato, yelping as he watched me drop like a rock. He was halfway out of the water when my head broke the surface once more.

"Don't be like that, my lil devil's food! Come give mama some sugar!"

"Odix- Odix has to- Odix go!"

"But who's going to wash my back?!" I called out after him. "Cake baby? Odi-poo? My sugar lump love muffin?!" When I was sure I'd well and truly freaked him out, I called out louder, "No kiss?! Hey! Where you going?! Tease! Call me!"

Once I was sure he was halfway to the other side of the village by now, I hopped out of the water, snorting to myself as I went, and quickly threw my clothes back on.

Walking through the meadow, humming as I went, I caught sight of a Lo denaii peeping Tom pretending he wasn't trying to be nosy. "Let that be a lesson to ya. All of you." Hooking my thumb over my shoulder, aimed back towards the heated bubbling pools, I flicked my hair over my shoulder, grinning as it slapped to my back wetly. "Give me lip and I'll feed you shit and drown ya. Just like the rest of ‘em."

Peeping Tom had absolutely nothing to say to that but for a short wheeze of a sound. Huh.

Meh- as long as he kept his trap shut, who cared? Not me.

Rest in peace, Odd-Poop, my loving moniker for Odix and his Poop girl, what would never, ever be. Ever.

You win some, you lose some. My ass totally rocked that one!

Headed back for Daisy's, ready to help clean up, beg a sliver of cake if there was any left, and try and convince the little ones Odix and I were just putting on a silly play for them that you should never, ever try to copy, I had a horrible feeling I might be the loser in that fight.

???

I was walking back to my hut, minding my own business, when I was ambushed. A scream left me as strong arms wrapped around me and I found a hand clapping to my mouth. Before Yetidom, the chances of that happening to me were much, much slimmer. Now? It was a regular event, it felt like.

"Whab da fug!" I shouted into the hand smothering my face.

"Shh! Jojomine beeds quiets! Wants others hear?!" my wooly bully headache hissed in my ear.

The second he released me, I spun on him and started whacking his dummy ass with my purse.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Ever heard of, I dunno, anything but acting like you're going to get the jump on me and make off with me?!" I growled out angrily.

Truth be told, I'd been having far too many sexy dreams of that exact scenario. I'd been thoroughly headfudged after that whole thing with my fuck and run lover that lived under a tree. I was still smarting from it, I'd admit, and sometimes made unkind comparisons between him and the fool in front of me.

Rek wouldn't leave me. I could put money down on that.

He was too stupid to leave me, that lunk head.

"Stops hitting Rek with Jojo's purse- Why Jo wet?" he grumbled, frowning at my slightly damp clothes.

"I thought you were whisked away by daddy Kirch on some hunting trip?" I said instead.

"Rek go…" he muttered evasively.

"Where's my damn ring?" I demanded to know as he grabbed my arm and tried to hustle me along.

With a disgustingly perfect imitation of innocence I wasn't buying for a minute, he asked lightly, "What ring my Jojo wants?"

"And my tea," I added dryly, my displeasure evident.

"Tea?" The overdone widening of his eyeballs is what ruined it for him.

"Cut the shit, you walking, talking Wampa. Where's my stuff you stole?" Holding out my hand, I tapped my palm, my foot getting all tap happy along with while I impatiently waited for him to comply.

"Jojomine no needs thems. Come. We go," he urged, his gaze darting around wildly.

"Why, because you snuck off into the night while he was asleep to come back to me?" I laughed at the idea but my companion didn't.

When he hushed me and ducked to lead me along the river's edge, my eyes widened. "You dumb mother fluffer… you didn't?! Are you insane? Daddy Kirch is going to mangle your hide!"

"Kirch not Rek daddy," Rek grumbled, giving me a dirty look. "Rek no haves daddy."

Rolling my eyes, I muttered under my breath, "Not the point, doofus, but fine, your… adopta bro dude fur bud that dads you."

"You dude-fuss. Rek not dude-fuss. Rek no… those things you say. Kirch neithers."

"I'm a doofus? Well… I hang out with you, don't I? Birds of a feather and all that," I mumbled softly. "Point taken."

"Joanie mouthy. Rek Kirch daddy," he went on, huffing and puffing like I wasn't whisper-muttering. "Kirch dude-fuss. Kirch wish him's Rek daddy. Rek no need daddy."

"I'm still mad at you," I reminded him, cutting in on his blustering fussing.

When he said nothing, I eyed him. His gaze kept darting around like he was expecting some specter to pop out and spook us. What was the deal with-

"Why did you escape camping with Kirch?" I wondered out loud.

Rek's snort was short but loud. "Be with Rek Jojo. Why else Rek leaves, make Kirch the angries him no find Rek?"

Frowning, I gave in when he wrapped an arm around my waist and took my hand in his, guiding me along as quickly as he could get my ass to hustle. My stomach twisted, realizing just how easily I rolled along with whatever bullshit he dished out, time and again. Doormat much? Fuck, I was. I totally was.

"Is this another trick?" I questioned, clucking my tongue at him, not sure if I should believe him. This was the absolute worst time for him to come at me with some pure bull shit.

"What trick?" he muttered, gaze darting about double time. "No sees Berkie, yes?"

"No… but what does Captain No Fun have to do with anything?" I muttered as he hurried me inside my place to hurriedly lock the door behind us.

"Hims watchings. Waits. Says Kirch no make Rek beed good," he grumbled softly in a mock- snotty tone. Yeah, that sounded about right.

I had to frown at that. "Are you saying Berkr expects Kirch to make you a good lil boy? Does Berkr say you're bad?"

His hand lifted in a halfhearted wave as he peeked out of my curtain. "Berkies says all bad. Jojomine too. Him's stupid." A grunt. "And ugly. Berkies beed lonely for the forever."

Berkr was a total ass, I completely agreed, but it got me stuck on something— something that's really been bothering me.

"Do you really think I'm a bad female?" My scowl doubled, realizing I'd voiced this out loud. He was so hung up on that. Why was it so damned important to him that I was good in his eyes?

Rek's scowl matched mine as his gaze whipped in my direction. "Who say my Jojomine's bad?" he half muttered, threading our fingers to urge me down into our tunnelway to love town.

I dug my boots in once more when he would have dragged me down there, said all the right things, and got exactly what he wanted to pull his shit on me all over again.

"Say you want me, just as I am. Say it and mean it, or go on into the tunnel by yourself." My voice quavered but I held firm.

Rek made a muffled noise, a smothered snarl, looking at me askance. "What you say? My Jojo no know what she say. Come. We go. Come with Rek. Come, my Jojo."

"Not until you say you want me, that you take me just the way I am. You have to mean it. I'm serious, Rek." I held firm, feeling like I was holding my breath, chest tight to the point it was constricting, and waited.

"Jojomine has the sillies. No knows what you say. Come. Be Rek's good female. Listens to my Jo's Rek. Come." Once more, he gave my hand a tug.

All those things I'd been advising those Lo denaii about came rushing back. "There's nothing silly about this. I mean it, Rek. I want to hear you say it and mean it. If you can't, don't, or won't, I won't be coming with you."

Rek's nostrils flared, eyes narrowing as he rounded on me. "Joanie say she no come, Rek not do Joanie wants."

"You're making it sound like I'm manipulating the situation, and I'm not. I'm saying, you're trying to force all these things from me to get your way, and you can't even say, Joanie, I love you just the way you are." Slipping my fingers in his, I pleaded, "Can't you understand what I'm saying? Am I asking you to have a brain transplant?"

Shaking my hand off, he snorted. "Want Rek change but no want change for Rek."

"How is asking you to drop your demands bullshit the same as asking you to accept me as I am?!" I was done being quiet, prepared to shout the roof down around us if that's what it came to. "You want me to change, and I won't. That's what this whole thing boils down to, and I-"

"No. Jojo wants Rek say yes, all the times say yes, and Jojo do what Jojo want, no care what Rek want!" He kept his voice low but he might as well be shouting at me.

He didn't get it. The fool just didn't get any of it at all.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I took several steps back. "I think you should go." My throat worked as my eyes threatened to water. I was always angry at first, but that anger with him inevitably bled into other emotions.

Rek hesitated, something shifting in his eyes as he stared at me, watched me fighting off tears, angry as he was. His anger, apparently, won out as he snarled softly, "Wet eyes no make Rek say what Jojo-knee want."

Unable to look at him without breaking, my voice hardened as I muttered, "I think you should leave."

He snarled but moved in closer. His touch was gentle, despite the snarl in his voice, as he brushed the back of his hand along mine. "No say that- Those things to Rek. Come. We go."

"No," I said simply. "I can't- I don't trust you anymore, and… and I think we're in two completely different places. We need to face it. This'll never work." There. I'd said it. One less elephant in the room.

"Rek and Jojo-knee work!" The roar he let loose made me jump. It was so long and loud it rattled my whole hut. My head shot up in shock to watch him disappear beneath my bed.

Swiping at my eyes, pretending I had the sniffles and nothing more, I grabbed one of my now empty suitcases and shoved it under the bed, effectively blocking the hole under there.

A loud knock on my door moments later had me jumping with a yelp.

"Jo?" a familiar, wholly unwelcomed voice called out as the knocking paused, then resumed.

Tossing a few thickly scented dung chips on the fire and spritzing my hair with enough hairspray to stink up the place, not thinking for one moment Berkr would buy that I was using the dust of shame to deodorize my hut, I flung the door open with a huff. "It's kinda late to be making house calls, don't you think, Pepé?" I was all huff and a ton of puff.

Berkr grunted, sharp gaze darting about. "Bad Jo know Berkr name."

"As do you mine, Pee-pee. As do you mine," I replied sweetly.

Leaning in, his nose wrinkled after the first sniff and his eyes immediately began to water.

"Did my hair, how you like?" I purred, smiling inwardly in self-satisfaction when he pulled back and went so far as to lean away. Hah!

"Smelly," he admitted.

"Aw, Pee-pee, you flatter me," I cooed, fluttering my plain ol' boring lashes at him.

"Berkr heared noises. Loud," he muttered.

Gesturing vaguely towards my nightstand and the fat stack of books on it, I shrugged. "Monster Romance. I love to read out loud, play all the parts, you know?"

The village enforcer's gaze darted from the reading material mentioned to me. "What kinds monsters?" he grunted out questioningly.

"All the furry ones." My eyebrows wiggled and I grinned.

Berkr swallowed thickly and took a healthy step back from me. My god, this was so much freaking fun.

Because I'm as crazy as they say, I took a step closer, then another. "Might be fun to read together. What do you say, Pepé, wanna give it a go?"

A muffled growl pricked my ears. In an attempt to cover it up, I made a clawing gesture at Berkr and growled out loud.

If the Lo denaii's eyes could bug out of his head, they would've. "NO!" he thundered at me, shuffling back so fast he flopped to his fluffy bubbled butt.

And another one bites the dust. Heh. "No? Huh. Okay. Well, smell ya later, Pepé!"

"Pee-pee- Grr. No. Berknerd- Gar- Pepé- Berkr knoweds him's name!" he snapped.

"Of course you do, skunk butt. You go on and have a nice night now, sweetie, ‘kay!" I chirped happily. He'd have said more but I was already slamming the door on his mildly confused, annoyed face.

Walking over to my bed, I flopped down atop it. Grabbing up a book, I cracked it open and started to read. It was blessedly silent until the monster under my bed grumbled, "No want Rek. Want talk pretties with Berkr, like Rek no' evens here!"

The wheels on my suitcase spun as he slapped at them angrily, pissed they were blocking him entry. He could do worse to them but the noise would just draw Captain No Fun back over here.

Grabbing up my can of hairspray, I adjusted my finger on the spray nozzle and aimed it under the bed.

Rek's garbled snarls were music to my ears.