Chapter 4

"J o?" Gopher tilted his head, watching me as I paced like a caged wild animal. "What- What butt's snack?"

"A buttsnack? It's a silly, nonsensical insult from an Earth tv show about trolls and troll hunters. I liken it to calling someone a dweeb or a butthead," I mumbled absently, right before getting back to the bull droppings at hand. I can't believe this. That… that bastard! He's such a- I can't even- GRRRR!" Grinding my teeth, holding in the urge to scream, I glanced up as Gopher stood and made his way to the chest in the corner of his room with a fat stump of a candle set atop it on a clay plate, situated next to his bed.

Rummaging around inside the chest, waving the candle holder at me until I dutifully stood, walked over, and held it for him, he pulled out a small, dark purple jar. Holding it up with something akin to an ah-hah sound, he held it out to me.

"Is that-" I started to ask, to the grin in answer he offered me.

"Ugh, Go', my man, I could kiss you," I gushed, taking the jar to kiss it instead of his triumphant mug. Smiling happily, I leaned against him, my head bumping his arm, my weight settling against him.

"Gofur takes kisses," he joked with a quirk of those thin caterpillars he calls eyebrows arching, nudging me to the side gently to shove the items he'd pulled from his trunk, strewn all over his bed, back into the deep, dark recesses of what I took perverse delight in referring to as his junk trunk . The male had a little bit of everything in that damn thing. He wasn't quite a hoarder but bordered on doomsday prepper.

"Save those kisses for someone special, Gogo boots," I cooed in a sickeningly sweet voice, despite the quiet thrill his words gave me, then bopped him on the nose on my way over to his stove to help myself to some of the water already boiling.

Along with that quiet thrill, was a heaping helping of dread. Play it cool, girl! that tiny voice in my head shouted at me.

Humming as I went, as if nothing was amiss, I already knew where he kept everything for a good cup of the hot stuff and got right to it. Feeling along on the top shelf too tall for me to see up to, my fingers grasped the edge of cold, hard metal and I inched it towards me. Unearthing his stash of sweet biscuits, I pulled out enough for both of us.

Putting the tin away, setting the cookies on a shared plate, I walked my goodies back to the table, Gopher already seated and waiting.

We had a routine on nights like this. I rather enjoyed these simple, quiet moments, just the two of us.

Gopher was uncomplicated. Simple. Sweet. I loved that about him.

Well… mostly uncomplicated.

Helping himself to a biscuit, I thought nothing of it as his fingers slid over my wrist, gently tugging up my coat sleeve. Smiling softly to himself as I threatened to eat all those yummy biscuits for myself if he didn't start seriously chowing down, he fiddled with the shiny, dangling stones on the bracelet he'd given me.

It was the prettiest friendship bracelet I'd ever received.

Woulda been even nicer if it actually meant more, the mouthy bitch in my head running things tutted.

"Him's no good," he murmured quietly, drawing me from my discreet ogle as he used my bracelet like a fidget toy.

"Hm? Who's no good?" I was bluffing, feigning indifference, ignorance, but we both knew.

The look he gave me said as much.

Lips pursing, not wanting to hurt his feelings but needing to get the point across that the mangy cur I call mine was not up for debate, I opened my mouth, trying to think of the right thing to say, when he rumbled out churlishly, "No good for Jo. Gopher know, no haves say…"

Glancing at me to find I was in complete agreement on that last bit there, his fingers, gently brushing the stones on my wrist, stilled. Though he didn't remove his hand from me, those striking beryl blue eyes of his darted away.

The male visibly slumped as he grumbled a few things under his breath I had no clue as to what in his native tongue.

"Right back at cha, baby," I snarked, lifting my hand from his grasp to pick up a cookie and tap the end of his adorable little stub of a nose with it.

With a grunt, he batted my hand away, then snatched the cookie I'd been teasing him out of his sudden ‘tude with, to gobble it up in two short bites.

Feeling a change of conversation was needed, I busied myself wiping crumbled cookie bits from my lips and polishing off my tea. "We'll be late if we don't finish up here and-"

"Why Jo wants him?" he all but huffed as his chest started to puff up. Those pretty blue peepers looked anywhere but at me.

Why did I want Rek?

I loved him.

It was as simple as that.

I mean, he was a pain in my ass and he drove me up a wall but he-

"Jo?" Sitting up from his uncomfortable slump, Goph leaned in, startling me out of the spiral my thoughts had quickly tumbled down. He had that look in his eyes. That look that gave me a funny feeling low in my belly.

"Goph," I blurted, swallowing thickly as his gaze darted from my lips and his head dipped.

Good god, was he freakishly tall. I had to crane my neck to watch him.

Reaching out to clasp my hand in his once more, his thumb began to stroke my wrist.

He was so close now I could smell that damned cookie on his breath.

"Jo," he rumbled out softly.

A shiver found its way up my spine.

My god, that should not sound that damned sexy rumbling out of him. Where was my head right now?!

It got fudged by a pushy sasshole and broke. That's where the hello it is!

"Jo…"

"I, uh, heh-heh-" I was starting to shake, I was trembling so hard. I didn't shake! I made other creatures shake! I- Good god, I can't think when he's doing that!

Was my skin super sensitive or something? A simple touch like that should not make me feel like this! Like- Like I was about to shoot off like a damned fire cracker.

"I think we've established that's my name, Gogo. You wear it out, you-" I blurted out. "I- Oh- You-"

Lifting my hand, he rubbed the side of his face along the inside of my wrist. "Jo," he all but purred, the rumbling in his chest sending goosebumps erupting all over me as impossibly soft facial hair tickled my skin, leaving it tingling, alive.

I tried to speak but found my throat dry. So dry it was like shit was sticking together in there as I worked to swallow.

"Go' takes kisses." His voice had gotten lower, deeper, a soft, sultry purr.

Holy fuck.

My throat worked double time but my tongue was tied.

I loved him. I knew I did. Deep down in the recesses of my tiny little pea brain, locked in a box and safely hidden away… I keep telling myself it's nothing more than that special platonic love between super close besties, and that's exactly what he's been to me— nothing but the best—but...

But- No. No-no-no. No buts. It would never work. I'd break his heart and this thing we have going on, it would crash and burn. I couldn't bear to lose that.

If that wasn't enough to quell the urge to allow those feelings to swell, to be known, it always came down to one gigantic pain in my generous derriere in the end: Rek.

I couldn't- wouldn't do that to him. I'd die if the fuzz bucket did something like that to me. I felt like I might die, even contemplating the idea of walking out on him.

I fancied myself in love with my walking, loudmouthed, talking headache, the forever and ever crap I never thought I was going to get for myself… though I was beginning to question that love the more and more he pushed my damn buttons and attempted to force his ways on me.

That wasn't love, was it?

"Where you go, Jo?" Pale fingers gripped my chin, urging me back to here and now.

He was much closer now, so much closer, warm breath coasting over my lips.

"I'm- I'm-" I mutteringly sputtered, yet made no move to lean away from him as he slowly, as if cautiously waiting to be shot down, testing my reaction, leaned in. I'm sure it didn't help that my heart was pounding so fast I felt faint.

"We… We- Uh- We…" I softly sputtered between gulps.

"Hey-o, Jojoknee?! Go'?!" Booger called out so loudly we both jumped and broke apart.

Gopher's front door opened and Boog poked his head in not a minute later. Catching the looks on our faces, my cheeks heating tellingly as I tried to play it off, he eyed us for a long moment, far too long, cocking his head. One sniff, testing the air, and he gave a soft grunt.

Clapping my hands loudly, I shot up and darted towards Booger buns. "Would you look at the time?! Wow! Let's get this show on the road! Huh? You're snack bitch tonight, boogiewoogaloo. Hope you brought something tasty!"

Grunting noises issued from behind me as Gopher stood and followed me over to Boog. If I had to guess, I'd say someone was feeling a bit thwarted. Booger had the best damn timing.

Booger said something to Gopher in beast speak that had Gopher grumbling back curtly and baring his teeth at the best baker in beastdom ever in answer.

"Girls. Girls. Don't make me separate you two," I singsonged as I pushed my way past Boog and right out the door.

More grumbled beast speak was spoken, but I preferred to live in the delusion that they were absolutely not talking about me, nope, not even a little bit, and that I most certainly had not been, kinda, maybe, possibly, impulsively about to let the sweetest male in beastdom land one on these ruby painted lips and just muck all o' this up. Nuh-huh. No way. No how.

That was my alternate universe and I was sticking to it.

I'd also not be fidgeting like a madwoman if Go' took a seat next to me tonight, because, you know, no particular reason for that whatsoever! Nope!

???

M ovie night was, in a word, distracting.

When everything had been nice and comfy once upon a time, right now? This day and night, my ass was squirmin', seated between Boog and Gopher.

Either oblivious to the offness to this whole sitch or too distracted by the aliens decimating humans on that space rig on the screen to notice as Sigourney and that kitty cat did their thing, the Boogster stuffed another fistful of popped corn into his loudly chomping maw, nodding along and mumblingly commenting to the movie like one does when they've seen it dozens of times before.

Was it just me? Was I the only one so affected? It was like I was painfully aware of everything now. The way Goph smelled, just how freaking warm he was mashed up into my side. Yowza. The guy gave off body heat like nobody's business for a skinny twerp of a Lo denaii— you know, in comparison to the behemoths we were surrounded by on the daily.

Wriggling a little closer to Boog in an attempt to save my sanity and the growing feelings starting to force feed warmth into my cold, dead lump of coal of a heart, Boog grunted at my nearness, lifting an arm to peer down at me.

"It's chilly," I mumblingly replied at his questioning glance, but he'd already slid over to offer me more room.

Goph, reaching over to grab a handful of popcorn from the bowl Boog was hogging, scooted in closer.

"If you slid in anymore you'll be on my lap," I pretended to huff and puff.

"Chilly," was all the squish-it-in male said, curving an arm around what passed for the Lo denaii version of a sofa in our happy little hideaway, until there wasn't an inch of him that wasn't mashed up into me.

My palms felt sweaty. In fact, I'd bet all of me was covered in a fine sheen of sweat. Why was I so damn nervous?!

I was letting him get under my skin! This simply would not do.

Debating on whether to squish myself right back in against him or say something I might regret to drive him away and risk hurting his feelings, I was saved by the end credits starting to roll.

"All done," Boog announced, reaching for one last handful of his beloved popcorn to frown as his claws scraped the bottom of the bowl.

"On all fronts, it would appear," I quipped on a laugh.

Boog shrugged his large shoulders, standing and plucking up my tablet from the shelf he'd made to set it on to turn our movie off.

Long, pale fingers brushed my cheek, causing me to jerk, then let out an ungodly squeak.

"Jo pink," Gopher said with concern.

"Whadda ya know, I'm not cold anymore!" I chirped, ignoring how high and tight my voice sounded.

Booger glanced over his shoulder. One look at my face and he grunted, a huh sort of sound, then turned to eye me. Those all-knowing peepers darted from Gopher, who sat frowning at me from his spot on the couch, looking like he wanted to jump up after me as I hopped up like I'd just been goosed, but he held himself back.

"Jojoknee ‘kayed?" Booger asked, his gaze once more darting from Gopher on the sofa to me.

"Totally," I fibbed through my pretty little teeth.

"No look fine…" the Boogster rumbled out softly, cocking his head as he eyed me.

"Are my cheeks really that pink?" I muttered, reaching up to feel my face. I didn't need to check. I could already feel the flames without needing to clap my hands to the furnace my cheeks had become. Sometimes I was unnaturally shy, especially when the situation was pinched and made me feel… awkward, put in between. "Gosh, I should probably go lie down." Grabbing up the book Gopher had borrowed and left in here the time before last, and my purse, I waved them off as I practically ran from the bunker turned movie night escape hidey-hole for only the coolest beings in Yetidom.

I was halfway home, castigating myself for being such an uncomfortable dingus, when I realized I'd forgotten my tablet.

Turning around with an inward sigh, though a part of me was quietly pleased I had one more excuse to prolong the inevitable blow up between me and my Rekless boy toy, I headed back towards the bunker, mentally rolling my eyes at myself.

It wasn't nearly as fun walking here all by my lonesome, especially not after that creepy demon beastie I'd run into. They didn't, like, hang around these parts, did they?

I'd been so discombobulated this was the first time I'd had a minute to even think about the demon beast. Bum-bum had seen it, hadn't he? I should go and ask him about it.

The bunker was just up ahead when I heard it, something like leaves crunching, twigs breaking underfoot.

Gaze darting around, I was all set to scream and run like an idiot at the first sight of anything, edging my way towards a prickly bush, when the bunker door swung open, a Lo denaii popped his fuzzy head out to glance around, then dipped back in. Huh. It was so loud in there it sounded like someone was Yeti to party. Boog and Gopher's voices could be made out amongst them. They were so loud, calling out to be heard above the din, just shy of shouting. Huh.

Walking around to the door, I hefted it up, then turned to clasp the ladder and work my way down inside.

The crazy inside went from over the top and boisterous, to dead silent as I hopped down off the last rung. "Forgot my tablet," I started to say as I spun around, to blink, then blink-blink some more at the sheer number of white fluff monsters stuffed inside this underground box. "That's a lotta furry sausage jammed into one casing," I joked as I worked my way over to the shelf my tablet was still sitting on. Wide bodies parted like the red sea, making room for lil ol' crazy me.

Booger and Gopher, who seemed to be the life of this party, or the head of it or whatever, motioned for the few that didn't get the memo to step aside so I could squeeze by.

"What's all this? A Furred dudes womenz hatin' club?" My gaze darted around as Boog and Gopher's faces flushed with embarrassment simultaneously. "Shit, was I close?" I blurted with a frown, eyeballing each male gathered around questioningly.

So many familiar faces mixed in with a sea of unknowns.

When no one said anything, I'd admit a pinch of hurt. "Right. Fine then. Have fun… with whatever you're doing that I've obviously just accidentally walked my happy ass in on. Human hatin' council may proceed!"

"Why Bok female no like Bok?" a rather tall Lo denaii with bulging biceps and what could pass for a Yeti goatee rumbled out from the back. His small, beady black eyes reminded me of a rat for some reason I couldn't really put my finger on. It was his nose too, I supposed, the way it had that mousey, rodent twitch to it.

Turning fully, because I'm a nosy bitch like that, expecting to find him addressing Boog or Gopher, I blinked to find him staring straight at me. "Your female doesn't like you, you say?" I asked lightly.

He gave a grunt and a nod.

"For starters, maybe call her something besides your female." My eyebrows arched when he frowned. "You do know your female's name, don't you… bawk, was it?"

"Bok," the male grumbled. "No' bawk, like hoodman's chickens."

"Right. Right." My hand lifted in a wave and I flicked my claws at him. "Bok choy boy. Got it."

"Not-" Bok started to say, to shake his head when a lo denaii called something out that had the group gathered snickering and chuckling equally. The noise he made said he'd been advised to give it a rest and just let me do my thing.

Booger let out a choking sound, Gopher grinning as I made a show of glancing their way and tossing the pair an overdone wink.

"No like Bok female's name," Bok finally answered, though I had an inkling he'd love to chat somewhere about the super fun nickname I'd christened him with. His need of aid had won out.

"You don't like her name or she doesn't?" I questioned.

"No like Bok say female's name." Bok seemed to wilt a bit at his admission, the doubly wide shoulders attached to his thick arms drooping as he sighed and ducked his head.

"What's your female's name?" I was curious to know.

"Ass," he said simply, scowling as he quietly repeated her name to himself, like he just didn't get why that made his lady upset.

"Ass?" I mumbled faintly. Surely he was saying it wrong.

With a grunt, he lifted his chin proudly and nodded. "My Ass."

Wondering how to handle this, I tapped a claw tip to my chin. "What's your mate look like?" I ventured. Surely if I could place her, I could figure out who Bok's Ass was. Bah dum tss.

Staring at me as if I'd just asked him to describe his own asshole in great detail, he blurted finally, "Bok's Ass perfect."

If that wasn't the sweetest, yet totally off point thing on the planet. Ugh. My aching, cracked lil heart.

"I'm afraid I've yet to meet your perfect Ass," I told him with a shrug, to choked laughter from Boog and an unhappy rumble from Gopher that honest to god surprised me.

"I'm just having a bit of fun, Gogo boots. Where did your sense of silliness rush off to?" I muttered to him through the side of my mouth.

Ass… A female with a name that sounded like Ass…

Nope. I got nothin'.

"Adds-lynn," a shorter, thicker male with dull, sunflower yellow eyes offered.

"Azlyn," I corrected, brightening. That little light bulb over my head just popped right on. She must have tried to get her Bok to call her Az or something at some point. I could see why she'd decided to quickly drop the nickety name.

"Az-lynn," I said slowly, encouraging Bok to repeat after me until he had something much closer to Azlynn and less like his perfect Ass.

Getting the focus back on Bok's lil problem, I clapped my hands as I dove back in. "So why else do you think your perfect Az doesn't like you?"

As Bok fidgeted in place, looking like he was feeling on the spot and not much of a sharer, I smiled encouragingly as he slowly started to name all the reasons why he thought his bride didn't like him. The list was pretty long and I could see why his perfect Ass had some issues. The way they went about getting the ladies around here was pretty flawed.

"I'm gonna level with ya, Bokky boy, it sounds like you forgot one big ol' glarin' dealio to get you all off to a roaring start." My smile was too wide. If I had horns, they'd be gleaming. I'd been waiting to have my say on this whole bridal kidnapping thing for a good long while now. Things were about to get real.

Bok swallowed thickly but nodded, urging me to let him in the know.

"You kidnapped her, you kumquat headed ninny witty. What on earth did you think was going to happen?! She'd just magically fall in love with you and jump for joy at the chance of being your perfect Ass?" I snapped. My arms lifted, waving around as I had it all out. "These are real people, with lives and shit you're taking them from. Some of them have families, etc, that'll be looking for them, that love them. Y'all ever think about that while you were out there scoping out the ladies, hmm? They're coming to terms with the whole cattywampus time warp of the portals and all that. It's a head fuck, my dudes. If you can't have any patience with them or even try to understand them, you have no business being with them!"

When Bok's shoulders slumped even more and his throat worked, looking like he might actually cry, the crowd starting to grow restless with all them in your face revelations just tossed out there, I changed tactics.

"How long has she been with you?" I called out over the ruckus my diatribe had led to.

I knew very little of Azlynn. She wasn't much of a talker, not with me at any rate, preferring to get her shit done and go home or whatever. She was much chummier with Daisy and Red. I'd sat in on a few convos between them while we all got our shit done but had never felt invited into the chat to actually speak my mind. Shocking, I know. The queen of loudmouthiness? Not butt in? Hah. Eh. I'm not that bad of a busybody. It was one of those outsider looking in, knowing not to butt in, serious life shit.

Holding up his hands, he started to count the days off.

"A good long while now, you'd say, yes?" I prompted, to him flashing fingers to show me she'd been here for going on weeks. "You're the one that took her?"

Bok nodded.

I felt free to continue when the crowd settled down. "Think about what it might be like to be in her shoes. Sound fun?" My finger lifted and I pointed it at him. He flinched but maintained eye contact. "I bet it wasn't all that fun for her, not at first. You could, I dunno… apologize to her? There's a wild thought. Ask her, straight up, does she truly hate you? Maybe that's something to contemplate. You're happy she's here and staying, but is she? It won't just magically happen, my dude."

Bok's head began to flop up and down like an eager bobble head. Fear and hope mixed in those wild, beastie eyes.

"What Bok do then?" he garbled out quickly, tripping over the words.

"If she wants to keep you, you mean?" Making a noise in my throat, I quirked an eyebrow at him. That little growling thing he was doing, supremely displeased with my freely dispensed advice, was not what he'd wanted to hear. Yeah, well, I ain't here to blow smoke up any furry starfishes. He can take it or leave it— his choice.

Waving off his fussing, my hands lifted, askance. "Make her happy? You love her, right? Wanna be with her forever? Make her feel like she owns your ass as much as you claim to wanna keep her perfect one? Eh? That me-mine shit works both ways, bok-bok." Rolling my eyes as he started to frown and looked about to pepper me with a thousand questions, I held a hand up. "Look, she's got a favorite male, I hope? I've heard her prattle off a few fuzzified sounding names a time or two. Go talk to one of them about your intentions, or some other poor, happily besotted male. What did they do? What worked? What didn't? What do you know never to do— and then promise me to never, ever do whatever jacked up dumb assery it is, m'kay? It's not rocket science, fuzzy boy. You want her? She means so much to you? You went through all the trouble to get her here, sound like you wanna keep her forever. Woo her, fuzzy monster."

"Az mines," he growled out ferociously.

"And if you're smart, you'll understand why it's just as important that she claims you as hers, Bok choy," I quipped. With that, I dismissed him. "Come back at me with more crap like that, buddy boy, you'll earn yourself the dunce cap."

"Dundsz cap?" Bok garbled out.

"Yes," I said simply.

Turning back towards Boog and Gopher, I smirked as I pretended to dust my hands. "That was kinda fun," I admitted, "but I won't butt in on your Lo de-husbands, emotional support rave or whatever this shit is." Lord knows I should be the last one dispensing dating advice!

"Well, it's been fun, fuzzy wuzzies!" Waving at the crowd, I turned to leave, surprised when another male called out and stepped forward, his question aimed at me.

Spinning back around in surprise, I eyed a familiar face. "Righty… tsk-tsk. Now, what have you gone and done that you need advice on fixing things? When Cottontail isn't being a pest she's disgustingly sweet, like honey."

Righty glanced around nervously, like he wasn't sure he wanted to say.

"What happens in the Lo de-husbands club for dinguses, stays in the Lo de-husbands club for dinguses," I promised him and even made a little cross over my heart.

When the others gathered raised their hands and repeated my words like this was legit some sort of secret, get-shit-straight-with-your-lady club, I finally cracked a real, honest to god grin. Oh…ho-hoh-ho! This was gonna be so much fu-un!

???

I was surprised the sun hadn't started to peek as I shuffled my way back to my hut, yawning and rubbing at my eyes all the while.

Acknowledging I was much more half asleep than awake far too late, I grunted as I slammed right into the back of a local.

"Ugh. Sorry. Stumble-walker comin' through," I murmured tiredly. My voice sounded as sleepy as I felt.

A grunt left the male I'd just nearly mowed down. The phrase perfect stranger came to mind as I peeled my face off of all that furry warmth. Perhaps not in the sense one might assume and more so the likeness to a heated body pillow, which sounded so damned good right now.

The idea of bumping into Rek in my current state, or if even at all, I was still so mad at that jackass, had my hackles up and my stomach twisting.

Giving my eyes a good rubbing once more, I blinked as my hands fell away, frowning at my sleep-blurred vision. Damn, could those Yeti hubbies gab.

It was mostly stupid stuff, and I think for some thinking shit through while they got what was weighing on them off of their chests. Boog and Gopher didn't seem to find offense that I'd jumped right in and accidentally overtaken their guys' meeting.

I hoped I'd helped some of them. A lil tough love from Joanie may just do their sorry, fluffy booties some good.

A grunt left me that matched the male I'd smacked into as I gave up any pretense of trying to act like a normal human being and felt around him, until he was clear of my bumbling stumbling and I could shuffle on my way. "Sorry. Tired. Need sleep," I mumbled in way of an apology. Tossing my hand up, I offered Mr. Mystery Yeti a wave over my shoulder.

"Where you go?" he grumbled out curtly. I didn't recognize his voice and it didn't help that he kept clearing it.

"I go home," I said on a laugh, giggling at myself, I was that damned tired.

"Where you… comes from?" he tried again.

"The land down under," I snarked, smart ass that I am, and started to hum that catchy tune. I went so far as to start mumble-singing it under my breath, between weird fits of laughter. Sleep-drunk was a thing. I really needed to prioritize my time with the Sandman. This shit was starting to show.

I was just shy of my hut when I clued in Mr. Mystery Yeti had followed me.

Scowling, reaching for my door, I grunted when it didn't open.

What the hell?

"Hey!" I told the door, trying to open it several more times unsuccessfully.

"What you do?" the male asked.

"What's it look like I'm doing?" I snapped, dropping my hand from the door handle to wave wildly at it, in between eye watering, jaw cracking yawns.

"No lives there," the male offered with a snort, while I, classy lady that I am, shot him a single fingered salute right back at that. Then… I started to laugh my ass off.

Realizing my door was not this driftwood looking, washed out shade of blue, I blinked, stared, frowned, and finally shook my head as I stumbled away. "Shit. That's not my place." I got a few steps away from the wrong hut and Mr. Know It All, pfft, before I came to several realizations quite quickly. Chief amongst them, besides castigating myself for letting myself get caught up in shit and ignoring what my body needed versus what I wanted, I was too out of it, butt assed tired, to find my way home at this point.

"Do you know- You wouldn't happen to know where I live, would you?" I blurted blearily.

"You drunk," he grumbled, sounding annoyed and inconvenienced by the very idea.

"I'm not drunk. I'm Joanie, you dick," I hissed, bending to grab a fat gob of the white stuff sprinkling down all around us, to chuck it at him.

From the shocked noise he'd left out, I was hopeful I'd met my mark, until he started to chuckle.

"Damn. Another fuckwad." Scrubbing at my face, I pressed my snow ball tossing cold hands to my cheeks, hoping that would help wake me the feck up. I jerked as the chill hit my face but it wasn't enough to rouse me.

Ugh. I shoulda taken Gopher up on his offer to walk me home. I'd been so eager to get away from him and have a minute alone to myself I'd said fuck all else and slipped out the moment he was caught up in a convo with a few advice seeking stragglers. How did they function staying up like that? Hibernate during the day?!

Debating on whether I should just drop down and shove snow into my face until I felt more awake, I gave in and slithered towards the ground, about to do just that, when Mr. Mystery Know It All came grumbling up behind me.

Assuming the worst, I turned and whacked him with my purse, screaming triumphantly on the inside as I snarled outwardly in victory. "Touch me and they'll never find every piece of you!" I warned. After trying and failing to stand to run away, I gave up and just crawled as fast as my thick legs could carry me through the growing snow storm piling it all up around us.

A thick wall of heat and fur landed atop me, a calloused palm clapping over my mouth before I could even think to scream for help. Snarling along with him as he went to scoop me up, my teeth sank in as I flailed, the urge to fight warring with my sleep deprived ass' disturbing wanton thoughts.

My body lit up like a Christmas tree as he pressed his lips to my ear, teeth pulling back, chest idling away in a bone jarring deep rumble, to hiss in my ear.

Fuck yeah, mama liked. A shiver racked me from head to toe as he did it not just once, or twice, but after one big ol' whiff of me, again and again.

The arm banding around my belly, I could feel that shite clean through all these damn layers.

Fear was never a factor as I trembled from head to toe, shaking in my damn boots.

Adrenaline was just the rush I'd needed, offering a shot of the good stuff to get my brain back online, clearing the fog as he started to tote me off.

Something like relief slithered in as I noted he was taking me to the unmated huts. Disappointment quickly followed on its heels for reasons I'd decided to deem out of the realm of needing a damned explanation. I've already established I'm a freak— no further anything needed —simple as that.

My god, I didn't even know this guy. He was a perfect stranger to me!

Was I that jacked up I was desperate for forced affection from this guy?

Apparently so, I lamented as he leaned in, sniffed once more, then let out a decidedly less snarling sound than previously, though still not exactly friendly sounding.

"Shut up," I grumbled right back through his bitten and bleeding palm. My fingers dug in where they were clutching his thick, furry forearms for dear life.

That strange snarl-purr of his grew louder. It was like a giant back massager at my beck and call. Slowly, unbidden, I found myself relaxing against him. Minute by minute, I melted into him, losing the fight with my gritty eyeballs.

One moment the tang of iron was filling my nose, warmth all around me, the next, I blinked, shooting up groggily, to find myself in one of the unoccupied huts near mine I recognized, a fire roaring, some pelt I didn't recognize tucked in around me, completely alone.

"Holy fuck," I muttered, licking my lips, wondering if I'd dreamt that all up and had some sort of weird sleep walking episode— like I was that far gone. That crisp, rich tang of iron crusting my lips jolted me back to reality. "Oh my god," I muttered, jerking the pelt covering me up over my head as if to hide my beet red face from the empty room. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my GAWD."

Snuffing out the fire, grabbing up that pelt, pulling the dust of shame from the furry hip pouch Gopher had made me, I doused that room in the aptly nicknamed ground plant dust until it stunk like it'd been skunked with it.

Rushing out, I squinted into the sunlight beating down on me. I couldn't get to my hut fast enough to wash up and hide in the comfort of my own place.