Chapter 3

W hen we'd finally exhausted ourselves, Rek's arms and legs trembling like he might collapse where he clung to the side of the hot water pool we were lazily floating around in, still intimately joined, he'd just shake his head and repeat his whole Mine spiel whenever I voiced any concern.

"Yes, I'm yours," I agreed, "but you're plumb pooped out of this party, pookie," I pointed out, smiling despite my exhaustion, "and what if-"

"We stay," he grunted out with finality.

Finality I flipped my middle finger at.

"Yeah, no. That's not gonna work for the Joanster, fart sniffer. See, I wrinkle like a prune if I sit in water too long." Lifting my hand, I wriggled pruny fingers at him. "See? Dried out pale plums, like dead, wrinkled skin. Sexy, yes?"

Rek scowled but took in the sight of my waterlogged digits.

"Fewd more minutes," he insisted, though he was waning.

"Any particular reason you're being weirder than normal, sugar lips?" I inquired sweetly, frowning to lift up and peer over the edge of the lip of our hot water hidey hole. Was this spot special to him somehow? Was he- No, he wasn't- No way.

The idea of Rek stalling as he plucked up the courage to ask me all nice and proper to be his had me hugging him a little tighter.

"Just tell me," I entreated as I nuzzled the side of his head, just the way he liked it.

"No," Rek insisted, but something in his tone gave me pause.

That wasn't a nervous no, that was a stubborn, gotta do this, yadda-yadda that no.

Gripping his chin hairs, giving them a none too gentle yank, I hissed out quietly, "What on this unearthly planet have you cooked up now?"

With several pained grunts, he slowly muttered with a very guilty look on his face, "No thing…"

"My god, Rek, what- I don't- How bad is- is whatever you did? Are you buttering me up? I mean-" I'd started to say, to freeze, eyes widening, as I heard the first Yetified call out.

"Jojoanie?! Jojoanie outs heres?!"

"Jobansly?"

And on and on, one after the other, I heard what sounded like a Joanie hunting party.

HOW?! I- My god, more importantly— most importantly, I should say— WHY?!! What the hell was he thinking?!

"Do you know what they might do to you if they find out you've been fooling around with me while refusing to put a Yetified ring on my lil ol' finger?" I softly snarled at him, yanking at his furry beard until a small clump came away with my clenched hand.

Eh. What was one more hunk of hair lost amongst a field of tiny bald patches?

Of course he knew what would happen to him! Who didn't that's been hanging around here for more than two seconds?! Lo denaii only choose one. Meaning, they only had one mate and stuck with them, til' death did they part. The end. No refunds. No returns. That was it. There were no considerations like, what if it just didn't work out? Or what if they ended up hating each other's guts? Like that's never happened?!

Alright, so it hasn't, yet , according to Boogster and Gophy pants, but still! What if I was the asshole that broke the mold on that bitch? Huh?!

And Rektal just thought he'd "fix" our dysfunctionally functional impasse by getting us caught, forcing me to decide whether to out him as a chronic fadoodle n run, or play it off like we'd just suddenly decided we totally liked each other and wanted to make it official? He was putting this ALL on me?! That manipulative bag of hair!!

"Who say Rek say hims reedfuse puts rings on Jojoanie's fingers?" he belligerently argued, to my gaping, shocked chagrin.

"You lying, rotten-" I started to snarl out at him, careful even then of how loud I was talking.

"Jojo-knee say," he'd started to grumble, then thought better of it and shut the frick up at the death in my eyes.

Not THIS tired old song and dance again!

My eyes narrowed as I studied that horribly guilty look on his face.

"You know I won't out you…" I said slowly, "because I care and bad things might happen to you if they knew you were playing fast and loose with me, despite my willingness in this bish…" This was his way of forcing his hand without either of us having to concede. This was, to his way of thinking, his genius plan to "win" and get his damned way.

"You wanted us to get caught. You planned this… This whole god damn thing! You fucking asshole," I burst out as moisture filled my eyes. How dare he!

The depth of his betrayal hit me.

What did he think, I'd just accept all this and, what, suddenly agree to be his "good female" for the sake of it all?

"Jojoanie mine," he mumblingly responded, going from pleased but nervous, eager sounding even, to anxious and worried in a hot second.

Oh, he better be worried.

"I can't fucking believe you," I burst out as quietly as possible as I scrambled to heft my generous buns from the water and flop out onto the ice pricked ground.

It had started snowing at some point and the temperature had dropped considerably. My clothes were like ice, hard in places, snow coated and covered in little freaking ice crystals and everything. How the hell was I supposed to put this shit back on?!

With a muffled noise of frustration, I gathered up my petrified clothes. With one last angry look at Rek, who was shaking his head at me and clawing his way up and out of the muddy side of his hidden little hot water hideaway spot to rush after me, snarling at me that it was not safe to take off without him, I took off, taking full advantage of my head start.

"Screw you, you prick!" I mouthed as voices drew closer. Scooping up a handful of icy mud, I chucked it at him. A small measure of satisfaction filled me as it smacked him right between the eyes, temporarily blinding him. Furry fingers slapped at his face, muffled snarls garbling out of him.

"Serves you right, you self-serving douche!" I hissed at him.

With that, I turned and took off at a run, as fast as my birthday suited butt could take me.

"My Jojoanie! No go! No know ways! Jojo-mines waits!" Rek called after me, like his ass wasn't freaking giving us away. "Rek's eyes! Muddy yuckies… Jojo-knee!!"

ARGH! That dirty, rotten-

I was so distracted, simultaneously cursing him out, trying not to stab my feet on anything, trip and fall and frickin' die, imitating a newborn baby giraffe flailing about like a ninny as I ran headlong towards home base, I didn't see the big ball of fur bounding towards me until it was too late.

My ducked head as I ran like my butt was on fire whilst watching where I placed my frozen feet made contact first, smacking an immovable hunk of fur that sent me bouncing off of it. A sharp, shocked noise left me as I tumbled to my butt and skid backwards.

My gaze hit weird looking hooved feet first, a jolt of alarm hitting me. As my gaze dragged upward, fear held me immobile.

What the hell was…. THAT!

Spindly legs, sinewy, too skinny, broadened to doubly thick thighs, all muscle, zero fat. A thin, emaciated waist led to a broad chest, ribs practically protruding, it looked so deathly thin. Wide shoulders barely covered with skin and bone, a long, thin face with a wild set of thorny looking pointy horns atop his head, like demon elk antlers, head dipped and aimed my way as those glowing red eyes fell on me and stayed.

My god, this dude made Lo denaii look like kittens.

"What the hell," I blurted, gaping in stunned horror as it let out some sort of odd, howling shriek. Hell was exactly right. This thing was downright demonic looking.

Scooting backwards across the icy ground, ignoring the pain in my bare feet, bottom, and hands, my bundle of clothes on my stomach the only thing hiding my nudity from him, I opened my mouth to make a sound, a call out for help, something, when he dropped down, lunging as if to launch himself at me, with a sound akin to a war cry.

My scream startled him enough he jerked back at the last second. The action gave me just enough time to lift my leg, haul off and kick him square in the face, then throw my clothes at him and shoot up to take off.

My sweater and thinner winter jacket, warmed by my body heat, tangled in his horns, temporarily blinding the being.

My screams continued as I took off blindly at a dead run.

Of course, I was so busy stealing quick glances over my shoulder I ran into yet another fuzzy furred beast.

My reaction was instantaneous this time. A blood curdling scream left me and I started swinging. My fists pounded thick, unyielding flesh. It didn't register this wasn't another one of those demon things until his words finally penetrated my panic filled brain.

"Jo! Juhjo! Wakeds! ‘Kayed! Jo!"

Peering up at the male through tear blurred eyes, I cried in relief to spy a familiar face. "Hector!" I cried out, despite Bum-bum's dislike of his new name.

My arms wrapped around him and I hugged my numb body to his warmth, shaking like a leaf, nudity momentarily forgotten.

"Big beast, tall horns. demon eyes," I burst out, flicking my hand wildly over my shoulder. "Scary as shit!"

Making comforting noises, his hand fell to my back, where he began rubbing warmth back into my chilled bones. He was like a walking furnace, warming me up despite the crazy cold.

Nudity completely forgotten, I clung to him, burying my face in the fur of his thick abdomen. Snow Patrol was built, a big old biggun of a Lo denaii.

"Don't let it get me!" I mumbled against his thick fur.

"No get Juhjo," he assured me.

"Jojoanie!" Rek called out, stumbling up to us, winded, breathless.

Rek caught one look at Snow Patrol comforting me while I snuggled up to him, froze, then snarled. "Mine," he growled and snapped at the other male.

"No," Bum-bum said simply, his voice a deep, commanding rumble, like that was that.

One glance down at me, taking in my naked state, seemed to give the supersized Lo denaii pause. That all-knowing gaze lifted from my mud smeared, leaves crumbled in, naked arse to take in Rek and his moist looking fur. Snapping something at Rek in beast speak that Rek snarled at but then moved closer, Bum-bum rumbled louder, a growling snarl in his voice that Rek didn't seem to like, yet dipped his head in a nod at Bum-bum finally and slowly took several steps back away from us.

Pulling me off of him with some effort, Bum-bum cupped my chin, his eyes dark and unreadable, flashing with something I wasn't entirely sure of. "Safe," was all he offered, bussing his forehead with mine briefly before letting me go and all but shoving me at Rek, to take off towards the sound of all of those voices.

"What's he doing? What's he saying?" I barked at Rek, who scooped me up without a word and took off with me at a run.

Taking the back way into Yetidom, Rek had me back at my place, warming in my own little hut, cursing him out and scrambling for clothes, before anyone else was the wiser.

Wanting to hash this out but needing a moment, I demanded he fuck off and had myself a quick wash up with the small basin of water I kept handy. Redressed, I grabbed my purse, and was down in our little slice of cavedom where I knew I'd find him waiting, sulking, before he could blink.

"What the hell?! What the feckin' hell was that?!" I demanded to know. "And what was that shit with Hector, hmm?"

"Who Hegged-ore?" Rek grumbled with a scowl.

"Don't you play dumb with me, mister!" I bellowed at him, safe to shout it out in our den of debauchery.

Thinking it over as he glared at me and repeated himself, I guessed he probably didn't know I called Bum-bum Hector. I'd compartmentalized my life so carefully, I highly doubted all the beings in my life knew much of anything about each other unless it was out there and obvious, like hang outs in public.

"Bum-bum," I said in way of explanation.

His grunt of an "oh" had me scowling but it was more ‘well, explain yourself' and less death in my eyes.

We both stood there, twin scowls, stubborn as shite. We appeared to be at an impasse.

The silence that lingered between us was full of what the fuck?!

"How could you?" I said finally.

"How Jojo not want Rek claims her? After all the times?!" Throwing his hands up, Rek went for broke, just let all that bottled up bullshit we tiptoed around out. "No want Rek, but Rek wants Jojoanie. Jojoanie wants all how Jojoanie wants, not how Rek wants! Rek wants! Rek WANTS!"

"Well, ya know what?! Jojoanie wants too!" I shouted right back. Reaching into my handbag, grabbing up the little white box inside, fingers clenching around it, I pulled it out and threw it at his fat, furry, stubborn arsed head. "Joanie wants too, you pig headed, self-absorbed, dirt crusted wad of dingleberries!!"

Rek snarled as the ring box pinged off his forehead, sending him clutching his tank of a noggin.

Rushing after the ring box, I dove as it landed in our love nest, eager to retrieve the item after I'd impulsively chucked it at him, but Rek appeared to have a similar plan.

"Give… It… Back… You… Can't… Have… It… Now…"

"Rek… Haves… It…" he snarled and snapped right back as we wrestled over the tiny white box. "Frows at… Rek's head…. means for Rek!"

"It just means… I wanted to… bean your dumb ass!" I shot back as my fingers curled around my prize and I made to roll away from him.

Several hundred pounds of Yeti landed atop me, my snarl of frustration ignored in favor of prying that box from my claw tipped fingers.

Forcing me to let go, if I actually wanted to make it out of this with all of my fingers intact, Rek growled triumphantly as he retrieved that little white box and rolled away.

"You can't have it! It's mine!" I insisted as I threw myself at him in an attempt to throw him off and recollect my precious.

Rek easily fought me off, cracking open the lid to peer inside with open curiosity.

My hands clapped over his eyes as I wrapped my legs around his middle, straddling his back. Cursing and snarling at him, it took me a full minute to realize he'd frozen in place, his arm held out, the bit of gold nestled inside gleaming like a beacon from the little jewelry pillows holding it in place.

"My Jojo," he breathed, tipping me to easily send me flying off of him to plop backwards onto our bed.

Scooting away from me, he glanced from me, where I was glaring at him at the head of the bed, to where he sat at the end of the bed, admiring the gift I hadn't really meant to give him yet. If ever at this point.

"It's not for you," I lied as he lifted the ring on the thin chain and pulled it free.

"Has Rek name," he pointed out, turning the ring this way and that to notice our names engraved on the inside.

"Pff. No, it doesn't," I bluffed, huffing and puffing. "You can't even read! How would you know?"

"Say Joanie heart Rek," he mutteringly mumbled.

Moving fast, I snatched it from him, leaving him with the empty box as I tossed the trinket inside my purse and zipped it up.

"You tried to force a mating on me," I accused him. "You meant to have us caught and make me claim you'd just claimed me. You planned that whole thing out, didn't you? You dirty, rotten bast- scoundrel!"

"That Rek's," he snarlingly argued, clutching the ring box in one hand while he demanded I hand over the gift I'd yet to actually gift to him, holding out the other.

"No, it's mine until I say otherwise," I bit out, "and not a moment sooner."

"Why throw at Rek's head if Jojo no' want Rek have it?" he argued, going from upset to an odd, chilly sort of calm that set my ass off.

How dare he act so cool headed after all the shit he'd just tried to pull on me! Be mad! Be super mad, you dick! I wanna fight, damn it!

"If you deserved it, I'd have given it to you already," I grumbled petulantly. Lifting my hand, I wiggled that naked third finger at him. "Do you see me bitching about a lack of ring on this finger? Well? Hm? Do ya? Suck it up, buttercup, because mama ain't budging."

Rek snarled and made as if to come after me. "What the hell you think you're gonna do, blondzilla? Huh?!" I snapped. Bring it, sass-squatch.

He was right on me when we both heard it.

"Jo? Jo home?" Another knock sounded, following the first. "Jo? Jo no gone? Jo home? Jo safe? No byed byes? Like Rek say?"

"We'll take this up later," I swore, glaring at him all the while.

"We picks it up now," Rek argued, slamming a hand down, blocking my exit. He leaned in, baring his teeth at me. "Jojoanie gives Rek backs him's pretties first."

"How about Rek takes his demands, folds ‘em up real small, and shoves them up his-"

"MINE," Rek garbled out, leaning in and boldly brushing his nose along mine, shutting me up right quick with the action, to take my stunned lips in a brain melting kiss.

"You're still not getting that damn ring," I muttered when he finally let me up for air. Argh! He was such a beast!

"Mine," he said simply, before attempting to dive back in.

A part of me hated myself for just how much a fool I was for the big idiot, even as I eagerly fell under his spell. My hands wove into his hair, tugging just enough, just the way he liked it, as he curled me close. We had that fire, the lingering sizzle slow burn bubbling just below the surface, ready to explode. And when it finally did? A soft sigh left me. I was hooked.

"Jo?" Gopher continued to call out.

With a snarl muffled against my lips at the continued interruption, Rek pulled back to glare at the ceiling above us. One look at my face and he tipped his head and bared his teeth.

"What the hell did you tell everyone?" I muttered, frowning at him mightily.

Ignoring the look I was giving him, my certifiable, pain in the ass leaned in to press his forehead to mine. Was that a soft groan, almost a whine, leaving my furry faced fuck buddy?

"JO?!" Gopher was starting to get that scratchy sound to his voice, his knocks growing erratic, impatient.

"Go," Rek grumblingly rumbled out, with one last lingering kiss before letting me go with a look that said he really didn't want to.

"We still need to talk," I reminded as he took my hand in his and placed a kiss to the flat of it.

"No need talk. My Jojomine. Rek Jojoanie's. My Joansie claims Rek, be Rek's good female. Do Rek say. Gives Rek lots of babies."

"You have lost your ever lovin' frickin' mind," I said on a laugh, he was that deluded and ridiculous and my demented ass actually found his overconfidence stupidly endearing. Heavy on the stupid.

This. I wanted this?

"Rek has right mind. Jojoanie see," the cocksure fool insisted.

With one last toe curling kiss, I told him firmly, bluntly, "Joanie will never, ever be Rek's good girl. Ain't never gonna happen, fuzz bucket. Perish the thought." Thinking over today, I conceded, "We'll talk about this whole claiming and us thing the next time I have you all to myself and your dumb ass hasn't sicced a hunt on us."

With a sheepish look on his guilty mug, he dragged me back to him, kissing me like it would be our last, and then urged me off to answer my door.

Ugh, that male. UGH.

Once back up top, dousing my hut in the dust of shame, I dumped my purse on the bed and answered my door. "Yeah, yeah, what's the big ide- Oh, Goph, hey, what brings you here?" As if nothing was amiss, my gaze darted about questioningly.

"Jo!" About to rush me, he paused, glancing around, frowning "Jo… ‘kay? Rek say-"

"Rek gets the cart before the horse more than any being should," I deadpanned, shaking my head sadly.

"Bum-bum say Rek no know," Gopher rumbled as he nodded, agreeing with me. Grunting, he inched closer, until he was standing just inside my hut. One sniff of the dust stinking up the place and he sneezed and backed up.

"It's like nature's deodorizer," I lamely offered.

"We… We go?" Gopher asked cautiously. "Jo- Jo ‘kayed?"

I stared at him uncomprehendingly. "For…?"

"Read night. Movies night." Gopher reminded as his skin flushed a very lovely shade of embarrassed Yetiman, the tint spreading across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, where I knew from personal experience watching him blush it would linger for some time to come.

"Oh my gosh, I totally forgot," I blurted, nodding as I darted for my bed to nab my purse up. Dang. I was super late for his reading session before movie night. "I'm so sorry. The time," my hand went to my head and I made a wacky hand motion, "it just slipped away from me! I can't believe- I don't know how I forgot!"

The muffled growling from down below under my bed, low but growing, was not lost on me.

Yeah, so about that… probably should have told Rek about my secret meet ups with Gopher, our tit for tat exchanges, a free reading sesh in exchange for a lesson on whatever thing Goph thought it would be important for me to learn as I wrangled Lo denaii village living for the terminally single. Then there was movie night, ahem.

Thinking of what that fool had just tried to pull on me, I mentally shrugged. Eh. Let Rektal-anikus stew. It was the least I could do to him, right? Let his ass sit in it for a bit and enjoy the stink. Heh.

"Why Jo has smirkies?" Goph asked as I took his arm and he led me to my lil hut sweet hut.

If anyone had a problem with us being friends, no one has uttered a peep. Not even Rek, though he does give Goph the stink eye at every given turn.

Gopher was a good male. My heart pinched to think of my tall drink of furry water some day making some unsuspecting kidnapped woman the happiest being on this planet. He was all sweetness and encouragement, squishy inside and out. Just the idea of that happening alone had me feeling so melancholy my face pulled down into a frown. Maybe that was Rek's schtick with him? He sensed my affection for him on some level?

Was it wrong to secretly crush on Goph the way I did? Was that fair to him, to wish we would never be parted, no matter what?

Yep. Definitely. So fucked up.

He'd been super into me once upon a time and I'd basically told him to take a hike. There was a certain possessive fur-for-brains male I knew wasn't keen to share his lady with anyone. I wouldn't want that done to me and like hell was I about to do that to Rek. A two-timer, I was not. Which basically left me pining for Goph while he moved on with his life, accepting me as his gal pal to chum around with in the meantime.

My stomach threatened to curdle, trying to imagine a future where he wasn't a huge part of my everyday life. Goph was the sprinkles on my ice cream, the frosting on my cupcake. My day wasn't complete without a dose of Gopher-sugary sweetness.

My frown fell further, trying to rationalize not wanting to torment him by putting him through being with my trying ass, but I'd just as easily torment myself by denying what could possibly turn out to be, if I'd just give the fella a chance, the best thing that's ever happened to me… a potential sane, healthy relationship.

Then I'd think about Rek and how I couldn't possibly hurt him, not truly, and a long sigh left me.

"Jo?" Gopher asked hesitantly, a far cry from the demanding concern of my pain in the ass fuming other butt cheek hidden away down below in our love cave.

"Basket weaving," I fibbed. "Just thinking about basket weaving, Go'." My teasing smirk had him rolling his eyes at me. Ugh. Why did it always strike me as downright adorable when he rolled his eyes in an imitation of my signature sign of sarcasm? Gah.

"Oh, the baskets we've woven," I went on, to a funny look from the willowy male.

Leaning in, he gave me a sniff. "You drink shine?" he rumbled out softly, worry filling his tone.

"What?" A splutter left me.

The twitch of his lips and the playful look in his blue eyes gave the game away.

"No, I most certainly did not, sir," I saucily replied, mushing my hand to his face to gently shove him back.

A few minutes passed in silence, once I was done snorting at him.

"Jojoknee?" he rumbled out just as we reached his hut and he opened the door, urging me to enter first.

"Yeah?" Walking in and setting down my things, I made myself right at home in his kitchen, nabbing a cup to fill with the pot of water he already had ready to go. I'd just walked back to my purse and was rummaging around for my trusty recycled mint tin container I'd taken to using for leaves, when two things hit me, like furry balls to my face, simultaneously, and Gopher spoke.

"Rektal not good for Jo," Gopher blurted, "not good male," right as I burst out, "That sticky fingered buttsnack! He stole my tea leaves AND my ring?!!"