Chapter 24

Brexl

I got up on shaky legs from the chair and leaned on Taylor as she helped me to the furs. I felt lighter than I had in a long time, but also more tired and spent than ever before as well.

It had never crossed my mind that Taylor didn’t think I was a monster. I had never seen myself as anything else. I’d definitely never seen my ability to kill and survive as a gift, but Taylor’s words were still echoing in my soul and I had hope that one day I’d believe them.

I did not protest as Taylor laid her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, and for the first time I felt like I must just be worthy of such affection.

Brexl

I woke the next morning feeling much lighter than before. Having Taylor speak the words I could not was an intense but meaningful moment. As I stared at my reflection, I tried to focus on what she said, the tone of her voice, and how she saw me, not how I’d always seen myself. It felt healing, which was oddly painful at first, but once the self-loathing I’d held onto for so long finally cracked, hope and joy started to trickle into places in my soul that had previously only been filled with darkness.

I did not feel as broken as I did before, but I didn’t feel whole either. I felt uncomfortably happy, hopeful even.

Taylor snored quietly as she laid on my chest. It was nice falling asleep with her already there. I liked it. I wanted to have her with me every night for all my days.

She’d said she had lost herself in every relationship she’d ever been in. Did she feel that way with me?

Today was the day of Valentine. If there was ever a time to show Taylor how much I liked her, it was now.

After breakfast, I’d fill our room with flowers. We would do the Valentine activities together, and then eat dinner in the clearing where I would tell her again and again that I don’t ever want her to change. Why change perfection?

“Mmm,” Taylor stretched before opening her eyes.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” she said as she smiled up at me. I was drawn to the curve of her lips. They looked so soft. Was it a normal greeting to kiss your mate awake? Would Taylor like that?

I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to hers. Then I pulled away from her with a smile.

“Happy Day of Valentine to you too.”

Her eyes were wide with surprise, but there was also a smile on her face that told me a kiss first thing in the morning might be a normal thing to do.

She sat up and put her hand behind my neck to pull me up to kiss her again, and I gladly did so.

Soon I had her on my lap, one hand in her hair and the other on her lower back under her nightgown. The softness of her skin would never cease to amaze me. My skin felt so tough and marred by scars, but Taylor’s was smooth everywhere.

Our lips met over and over again, slowly at first, but now we kissed as if we were hungry for each other’s souls. Having her on my lap was agonizingly wonderful. My cock was stiff as it usually was around Taylor, and I had the overwhelming need to be closer to her, even though we couldn’t possibly be closer unless I was inside her.

The mere thought nearly made me spill my seed.

I tugged her nightgown up and over her head, and she raised her arms, allowing me to do so.

Then I was staring at her fully naked body except for the small scrap of fabric covering her sex.

Her breasts were perfect, just like the rest of her. They looked like they were just the right size for cupping in my hands. I lifted my hand up her torso until I made contact with her softness, and I was right. They were perfect.

“These are sensitive too.” She rolled one of her nipples between her fingers and ground her hips against mine as she did so.

I copied her movement, and she moaned with pleasure.

I had the strange urge to take her other nipple into my mouth. I wanted to see if my tongue could bring her as much pleasure as my fingers.

I gently moved her hand away from her other breast while kissing down her neck until her peaked nipple was in my mouth.

A small gasp escaped her lips, and I hummed with approval. I may have been too eager in my explorations, because the next thing I knew, Taylor was lying on the bed and I was on top of her, kissing her everywhere.

I wanted to explore her entire body with my mouth. I wanted her taste on my tongue, her moans in my ears, and her hands wrapped tightly around my horns.

Goddess above, this ache in my soul, this need to be closer was starting to match the ache in my cock.

I stopped my trail of kisses halfway down her thighs. “I want to be closer to you. Is that strange?”

“No, it’s not strange. I want to be closer to you, too.”

I was about to ask her what I could do to ease this ache in my soul, when there was a loud commotion that interrupted my thoughts.

“What do you think that’s about?” Taylor asked, looking scared.

My protective instincts roared to life.

“Whatever it is, I will keep you safe.”

I pulled my pants on over my hard cock and walked into the main cavern where I saw Orsu looking troubled as he hovered over Julie, who was wiping her mouth and looking pale.

“Sozu, come quick. Something is wrong with my mate.” Orsu called the young sirret over.

“What’s going on?” Taylor still looked flushed as she padded over to me wearing one of my sweaters over some pants. My chest filled with pride at seeing her in my clothes and I wanted nothing more than to pick her up and carry her back to our furs to continue what we’d started.

“I was feeling fine a minute ago,” Julie huffed, bringing my attention back to her and Orsu.

Sozu placed his hand on her forearm and sat silently for a long moment.

“This is what I felt with Gabby.”

“Felt what?” Orsu interrupted.

A smile crept across Sozu’s face. “You’re not sick. You’re pregnant.”

“Pregnant?” Orsu breathed the word as if he couldn’t believe it.

“Pregnant,” Julie repeated as the reality of it all sank in.

“I’ll take over breakfast. Why don’t you two go celebrate?” Lumod offered.

“Thank you, friend.” Orsu gently picked Julie up in his arms and carried her off to their cave, kissing her the entire way.

It would not be long before we’d have two sietlings in our dekes. There was a day when I believed we’d have none. For many seasons, we had no reason to hope for mates or children. But now… I looked over at Taylor and wondered if one day, we’d have a sietling of our own. I didn’t feel worthy of Taylor, but I didn’t feel unworthy anymore, either. Maybe that was a normal thing to feel. Maybe that’s what love was, never feeling worthy of the person you were with, but doing your best to show them your love, anyway.

I needed to woo her. I’d prove to her that I loved her just the way she was. No more pretending. I would make Taylor see our love could be real.

“I’ve never made pancakes before. Are they supposed to be cooked on both sides?” Lumod looked at the blobs of batter on the hot stone, wondering what to do next.

“I had better help him,” Taylor sighed. As soon as she took a step toward the cookfire, a strange jealousy flooded my veins. I knew Lumod only wanted Hai, and yet the idea of Taylor being so close to him as she helped him at the cookfire irked me.

“I would like to learn as well,” I said in a gruff tone as I followed her.

She looked back at me with a knowing smile on her face. “Really? You want to learn how to make pancakes?”

Her voice took on a teasing tone, and I took a step closer to her until there was only a hair of separation between us. “I wish to be by your side.” I leaned down and whispered, “I wish to be closer, but that will have to wait until we are back in the furs.”

Color flooded her cheeks and her normally confident demeanor wavered. “That sounds nice.”

Taylor turned and joined Lumod at the stove. She showed us both how to make pancakes, and soon the others woke and made their way to the main cavern.

I’d hoped we’d have time to sneak away to our cave before the day’s activities began. I longed to hear Taylor moan as I licked her between her legs. The ache I felt in my chest to be closer to her had not diminished in the least. But once breakfast wrapped up, she headed outside with the other hu-mans to finish setting things up.

As she headed out, I made my way to the storage room where I’d hidden all the flowers I plucked yesterday and started to fill our cave with them.

One way or another, Taylor would know exactly how special she was to me.